'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's Firefly 'Enlightenment'; Where It Lands, Nobody Knows

'Swami' Nithyananda Revises His Final 'Enlightenment' Story
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. What's going on? You just postponed your 'Healer's Initiation Program' in Bidadi that was scheduled for February 27  & 28, until July 2010.  Was this cancellation because nobody wants to collect bad karma from your so-called 'healing' energy? Or was your Healer's Initiation cancelled due to illness?  Likewise, we understand you had a no-show for your NSP program.  Did you get spooked?  Is it true that you refunded all of the participants' money?  Good thing you did, Sri Nithyananda.  Otherwise, we could easily call you on fraud.  We also heard a rumor that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda had a big hangover.  Didn't you know that hanging out at graveyards late at night was going to lead to something like this?  Will you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, still be having your 'Inner Awakening' program and attending Kumbha Mela?  Perhaps those photo ops in Kumbha Mela are not going to turn out so well if everyone can see that you've become the embodiment of pain.  And speak of the devil, you, know, Sri Nithyananda, since Ayya or Swami Sadhananda left the States empty handed, will you beat him for failing?  Your cult might need a little more disciplijne.  And, Sri Nithyananda, looks like you on your Twitter Dhyanapeetam account is following our tweets?  Aren't you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, suppose to be a leader not a follower?  Your cult won't last very long if you keep this up. And, apparently the luster on your Jayanti (sacred anniversary) celebration bash where you celebrate your alleged birthday of January 1, 1978 and your ultimate experience of 'enlightenment' has faded.  Wow, that was pretty brave of you to roll those up into one day considering that your birthday landing on January 1, 1978 seems to be way off the scale of reality. Next year, will there be an extra celebration of your 'enlightenment' day as to get your devotees off the fact that your birthday doesn't look like it really was on that day? "Rraaara." snapped Sri Nithyananda. Hmmmmmm, our gruntanese translator says that a sign he's getting in a foul mode really quickly.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, we mean Paramahamsa Nithyananda, we'll get right to the point. Where was that final place of the 'ultimate' experience of your so-called 'enlightenment'? Where exactly was that? Now, don't tell us it was in Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. That was in California, and you didn't reach California until 2003. So, don't try to trick us with that answer. "RRRRRRaaaaaaagggggrooooooph!", snarled the 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Oh, our gruntanese translator said that he didn't like the sound of that.

Well, you see there, Sri Nithyananda, you revised the number of years you wandered from nine years to just six years as we pointed out in our post titled "Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)".  And, so you 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda remember how you also revised the number of miles you wandered up to 70,000 miles from originally 18,641 miles? Because of all these revisions, we wouldn't be at all surprised if you also revised your place of your 'final' ultimate experience of 'enlightenment'.  Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you've done a very good job of evading of mentioning that place where you had that 'ultimate' experience. In your book, Formless in Form, you, Sri Nithyananda, went into details about the experience of your so-called 'enlightenment' but said nada to the actual place it 'happened' in. Same with your 2003 PDF titled "Yet to be Discovered", or many of your other publications. But, wait, on your recently delinked website about the 'founder':

http://srianandeshwaratemple.dhyanapeetam.org/founder.html

you mentioned "the banks of the river Narmada". Let's take a look:

Nithyananda's single-minded pursuit of the Divine truth led to deeper and more profound experiences over the years. Finally, when He was 22 years old and staying on the banks of the river Narmada, the final explosion happened, into the experience of Superconsciousness, where space and time, body and mind, the seer and the seen - all dissolved into the state of Eternal Bliss, or Nithya Ananda.

But, wait there, 'Swami' Nithyananda.  We really had to look hard, but here on you NithyaYoga (TM) website, we found this information on a tattered webpage that you tried to delete:

http://www.nithyayoga.org/founder.php

When he was 22 on 1 January 2000, Paramahamsa realized himself in the forests of Omkareshwar, as Sankara did more than 1000 years earlier, on the banks of the river Narmada. He assumed the name of Paramahamsa Nithyananda the name given to him by Mahavatar Baba when they met near Kedarnath during the parivrajaka.

We know, Sri Nithyananda, all of these stories that don't add up are a bit of an embarrassment to you, and we more than understand why you tried to delink these pages and delete them from you websites.  That's why we are very lucky that this legal evidence, we mean stuff that legends are made of, has just happened to be accessible for all your admirers, detectives, FBI agents, and prosecutors.  You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda can find them here:

• PDF of Founder from NithyaYoga.org
• PDF of Founder from dhyanapeetam.org

So, back to your enlightenment story, Sri Nithyananda.  Wow, that was quite a shift.  You, Sri Nithyananda, were not only by the banks of the Narmada River in Omkareshwar, you were in the forest!  And, wow, that, by golly, is the same place that Sankara got his enlightenment 1,000 years before!  And, to top it off, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda took on that sacred name given by no other than Mahavatar Baba!  This is just simply an amazing story, Sri Nithyananda.  This is a holy occasion if we ever heard of one.

'Swami' Nithyananda, where exactly is this place? Is there a big that you can point to and say that is where I had the ultimate experience of 'enlightenment'? Sri Nithyananda, do you have anything that commemorates this auspicious occasion like you have one to commemorate your 360 degree vision?  Why, Sri Nithyananda, you should make a shrine at that exact location so that we can all feel the energy coming out of that place, and you can earn extra cash from donations and dedicated tours to your 'enlightenment' center.  Why isn't there a special monument at that exact spot, Sri Nithyananda?  You seem to have enough money to buy a whole fleet of 24K golden thrones, so simply securing a little patch of land by the Narmada River in Omkareshwar that is out in some boondocks of a forest shouldn't be too hard. 

But, wait, Sri Nithyananda, can we really believe this story about you getting your final 'enlightenment', you know, that 'ultimate' experience out in the forest somewhere by the Narmada River in Omkareshwar?  After all, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you tell your fast batch of your followers on your holy Himalayan Tour Guide in 2004 that all of the events that led up to your final stage of 'enlightenment' happened in Haridwar in the state of Uttarakhand?  Yes, Sri Nithyananda, we remember now.  You told everyone during the tour in the early morning where you were staying, where you threw your picture of a real Paramahamsa, that is Paramahamsa Ramakrishna, because you, Sri Nithyananda, thought that he and other truly enlightened masters were trying to deprive you of enlightenment.  Do you remember that story?  There were other stories about you being sick and that someone named Shankar from a nearby temple gave you some medicine that got you well, and when you went there to thank Shankar, there was nobody there by the name of Shankar except for the statue of Lord Shiva?  Yes, all of your last moments before your final 'enlightenment' happened in Haridwar accept for the story about how you were doing double-japa (mantra recitation) using two malas (rosaries).  You then, Sri Nithyananda, got frustrated and depressed... and then you tell everyone that you just 'relaxed' and became 'unclutched' and presto.  'Enlightenment'.  Yes, these stories were clearly done by the bank of the Narmada River in Omkareshwar.  There really seemed to be no gap from the Haridwar stories to the Omkareshwar stories.  Then someone on the tour (someone with a brain no doubt), that was still able to function with all of the sleep deprivation asked you, Sri Nithyananda, how you managed to get to the banks of the River Narmada in Omkareshwar and in the forest no doubt in such short order.  You see, Sri Nithyananda, we imagine that this person was curious since the distance from Haridwar to Omkareshwar is over 1,090 km or 677 miles.  Google Maps shows that by car it will take over 17 hours in optimal conditions.  But, since you, Sri Nithyananda, said that you walked most of your wandering by foot, well, we think that it might have taken a whole month.  How did you, Sri Nithyananda, get there so fast?  Did you use a jet-propelled pogo stick?

Sri Nithyananda, how did you get out of that tricky question?  Oh, yes, Sri Nithyananda, we remember now.  You pulled the divinity trick.  You never answered the question.  You just smiled and looked serenely away as if you were about to go into a trance and didn't want to reveal one of the Divine's business secrets.  Since you were with sleep deprived true believers, they all then reached the same conclusion that you, Sri Nithyananda, must have traveled in some time-continuum-time-warp.  Well, Sri Nithyananda, we agree.  That story does seem a bit warped to us.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, we agree that you have this story about getting the ultimate experience of 'enlightenment' in the forest by the River Banks of the Narmada River in Omkareshwar, the same place that Sankara got his enlightenment 1,000 years before.  But, Sri Nithyananda, you are now doing your best to hide all of these stories about your nine-years-of-wandering, then reduced to seven-years-of-wandering and then reduced again to just six-years-of-wandering, but really only four-and-a-half-years-of-wandering fit your timeline.  And, most if not all of that time was spent at the Ramakrishna Mission.  So, Sri Nithyananda, you're hiding this along with the culmination of all that wandering, your final ultimate experience of 'enlightenment'.  Wow, Sri Nithyananda, was this the only place that you received that final 'enlightenment'?

Well, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, after we posted that blog about your wandering in the Ramakrishna Mission for Five Years, we received some interesting emails.  One of your earliest attendees recalled that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda used to claim that you received that final ultimate experience of 'enlightenment' at no other than the Ramakrishna Mission in Chennai.  Later in your book, Formless in Form, 2003, you Sri Nithyananda, just described that event, but didn't make any mention of it being your 'ultimate' experience.  Here, let's take a look on page 34:

Above all else, the stories of the lives of great spiritual masters stirred an unknown chord in the young seeker.  One day, chancing upon The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, he (Nithyananda) fell into such a fever of delight that he devoured the 600-page book in one 10-hour stretch.  (Anyone who has held the mighty Gospel in his [or her] hands can appreciate the passion that called forth such a feat!)

Three days after this unusual incident, the young Swami was honoured by the vision of Sri Ramakrishna and Mother Sarada Devi, who placed their hands upon his head and showered him with hertfelt blessings.  On that day, with deep love and reverence, the seeker received Sri Ramakrishna into the innermost sanctum of his heart.

And, that Sri Nithyananda, used to be your ultimate experience of your final 'enlightenment'.  Wow, Sri Nithyananda, we can see right off why you would want to change that story.  First of all, anyone who is familiar with the greatness of Sri Ramakrishna and Mother Sarada Devi already familiar with the most excellent form of spiritual beings.  It doesn't get better than Paramahamsa Ramakrisha and Mother Sarada Devi.  In the best-case scenario, these seekers would think that you have been blessed by the best.  Not that you're any better than, not by a long shot, and certainly not equal too.  Yes, Sri Nithyananda, after hearing that story, some people would just think that you're a lucky sanyasi (renunciant monk) that got blessed.  On the other hand, those people who are not familiar with the greatness of Paramahamsa Sarada Devi would not really get it.  And, these seekers, who don't have that spiritual background, are the ripe suckers, we mean seekers, for your following.  So, if you, Sri Nithyananda, can't even connect to your potential market segment, wouldn't it make better sense to change your 'enlightenment' story?  And, then of course, Sri Nithyananda, there's the lady factor.  Do you think any of those attractive yoga chicks and film star ladies are going to fall for a spiritual master who got his 'enlightenment' by staying in the dorm with a bunch of other guys and then picked up a big book and read it for ten-hours straight, and the 'poof' he became the grand poohbah of wizards?  Why even the lady groupies that follow Harry Potter wouldn't be impressed by that one.

Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we agree.  You needed to do a makeover in a hurry.  Good one, Sri Nithyananda, you must have hired the right PR specialists.  Let's see, your revised story had you wandering all of India first at just 18,641 miles then to 70,0000 miles.  Nine years seemed like a good start at least until you became known as 'god', then the 'blue ocean' strategy kicks in and such things like facts and details become irrelevant.  Good!  Some of your new tales include sitting in a huge bell soaking up the vibrations until someone could hammer a piece of wood right into your ajna (third eye) chakra.  Great!  Meeting up with some sadhus (spiritual wanders) that can smoke pot and turn the ashes into gold.  Hypnotizing.  But, remember.  You didn't smoke any of it yourself or inhale.  Good!  Family types like that.  But, still got 'stoned'.  Yes!  Good one to 'reveal' one of those experiences so you might be able to share it with other seekers that think that spirituality is like a drug induced high.  Brilliant!  Then you broke your back on a bumpy ride in back of an army truck and healed it with your own hands.  Fabulous!  This gives you the legitimacy to initiate all those people into healers.  You did that fire panchatapas (extreme meditation around a fire).  Very legit!  Never handled money.  Way renunciate!  Except that there was that small incident where you exchanged that gold trinket your received to purchase (with money) the supplies for the fire meditation and to pay (with cash wages) those village boys to keep the fire going, but other than that, no one would question you, 'Swami' Nithyananda.  Then, you had that death experience where you went into deep meditation for several days at the cremation grounds at the  Manikarnika Ghat in Benares where you became 'one with the dead'.  Spooky, but way cool!  And, then you, Sri Nithyananda, bumped into Mahavtaar Babaji in Tapovan, who gave your destined name "Nithya Ananda".  How rightful!  And, you, big stud guy, did the dreaded traatak meditation where you stared unblinkingly at the sun all day.  How stoic! Then add in that story about bumping up with bears in the wilderness.  How ruggeed!  Hey, Sri Nithyananda, on a side note, we only counted two bear stories.  There was that bear in Omkareshwar in Madhya Pradesh (p. 43 of Formless in Form) that you thought was a human, and came eye-to-eye with.  Then there was another baby bear that poked his or her head into your cave that you were camped out in.  For our records, we thought there should have been at least one more bear to make the final count to three bears.  And, some related story about a cottage, and some hot just-turned-18 room service girl, you know, Goldilocks, who was all knocked out on some bed.  OK, Sri Nithyananda, we'll be hush-hush about that story.  Not so good for the kiddies and the prudish donors.

Where were we, Sri Nithyananda? Oh, yes, you hung out for a whole week inside the Taj Mahal.  Every tourist's dream!  You did some telekinesis with boulders on a hillside.  The most!  But, Sri Nithyananda, don't let anyone trick you into doing a demonstration of this.  Just smile and let your 'Blue Ocean Strategy' swallow up any little challenge that might get in the way.  Lord Shiva, himself, gave you some medicine.  Total awakening!  You, Sri Nithyananda, visited the land of 300-year-old people.  Saints preserve us!  Witnessed a honeycomb of huge bees (the size of someone's palm) stretching from mountaintop to mountaintop.  Sweet!  Sri Nithyananda, have those bees the size of someone's palms ever been classified by scientists?  Just wondering.  And, tiptoeing  across a deep rushing river with your eyes closed.  How trusting!  And, then, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you hid in yet another Ramakrishna ashram when attached by a man-eating tiger.  The cat's meow!

Sri Nithyananda, with these new 'enlightenment' stories, you'll even be greater than Indiana Jones!

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, there won't be a hot yoga chick in town who could resist you now!  In fact, you could even rename yourself, Swami Nithya Indiananda Jones, the Enlightened Cowboy.  And, your ashram could be known as Nithya All-Things Indiananda Jonestown.  OK, we might want to work on that one especially if you ever intend on serving refreshments.  Pitty. Donors don't like putting money down for known cults.  But, anyway you look at it, with this new 'enlightenment' place and all of those rugged he-man stories, you're sure to be a box office hit.

So, Sri Nithyananda, with all of these great new stories of yours, we're a bit puzzled in why you have been taking them down from your website.  We might know, Sri Nithyananda, did someone criticize you for all of these great stories?  Maybe they were just jealous.  Instead of making references about you being like Indiana Jones, maybe they made comparisons that you were more like Gumby.



You know, Sri Nithyananda, Gumby was able to be at two places at the same time.  Just like you!  And, he could 'walk into any book'.   You, Sri Nithyananda, seem to have that quality too.  But, once you, Sri Nithyananda, walk into a book, you seem to be able to walk off with the credit of writing it too.  OK, Sri Nithyananda, we're getting ahead of ourselves, but we'll save that for another post.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, do these rugged 'enlightenment' stories compete with any other of your stories?  Besides that fact that you were in the Ramakrishna Mission the whole time, but other than that, are there any other stories competing for this 'enlightenment' title?  Say, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, didn't you say during a two-day 'Healers Workshop' in Los Angeles around August 2007 that many of your other experiences lead to your 'final' enlightenment but Existence just wanted you to go through all the other 'experiences' to solidify your credentials.  Sri Nithyananda, we're talking to you.  Sri Nithyananda?  Oh, dear, samadhi again.  OK, Sri Nithyananda, if you can hear us, you talked about how you got the 'ultimate' experience from you death meditation at the cremation place at the Manikarnika Ghat in Benares.  Since you had such a captive audience, you, Sri Nithyananda went and told them that you really got your final and 'ultimate' experience when you had the 360-vision when you were just twelve.  But, Sri Nithyananda, you didn't stop there.  No siree.  Since all of these big donors were your loyal flock and they seemed so spellbound, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, at the tender age of nine had to throw in your experience of meeting Arunagiri Yogiswara, an incarnation of Lord Shiva at the temple in Thiruvannamalai. (Nithyananda Vol. 1, 2005, pp. 120-124).  Arunagiri Yogiswara took you on a journey up Arunachala where there were some other close disciples.  He then gave you the kavi cloth (renunciant cloth) and initiated you, 'Swami' Nithyananda as a disciple.  And, with that, Sri Nithyananda, you said that you began the journey of spiritual world meeting the physical world, and that was actually your final enlightenment.  Do you remember saying that, Sri Nithyananda?  We sure do.  All the participants just had their jaw wide open.  We're sure that their checkbooks were wide open after that one too.

It seems to us, Sri Nithyananda, that your 'enlightenment' is much like the 'enlightenment' that someone can experience from a firefly (also known as lightening bugs).  It seems whereever you had your backside 'illuminated' that is the place of your final and ultimate experience of 'enlightenment'. 

Perhaps Sri Nithyananda, we can make a game out of all these 'enlightenment' stories.  Sri Nithyananda, do you remember in our post titled "Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)"?  In that post, we suggested that you create an online gambling casino to help your followers bet which of your 'truths' will be revised next.  That way, everyone can be engaged to all of your stories, and you can rake in even more money to finance your next round of 24K golden thrones and that big stadium.  Well, we thought we might help you, Sri Nithyananda.  Perhaps you can have a roulette wheel.  Since it is your default story, Sri Nithyananda, two slots can be designated that you were 'enlightened' on the banks of the Narmada River in a forest in (or at least near) Omkareshwar. One slot can be assigned that you were 'enlightened' at the Ramakrishna Mission after reading the Gospel.  Another slot can be designated that you, Sri Nithyananda, had that ultimate experience of enlightenment at the Manikarnika Ghat in Benares, you know, the cremation grounds.  Then yet another slot can be assigned to your 'enlightenment' during your drug-like-state of having 360-vision.  And, finally, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, one more slot can be assigned to your 'enlightenment' for the time you met up with Lord Shiva in the form of Arunagiri Yogiswara.  Let's see.  If a traditional roulette wheel has 37 slots, that leaves us with 31 blank slots.  OK, Sri Nithyananda, in those slots we'll assign them as being that you are not 'enlightenment'.  Because, let's face it, Sri Nithyananda, the odds are that you just made up all of these stories.  Isn't that called fraud?

Related Posts:

• 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda Wanders in the Ramakrishna Mission for Five (5) Years
• Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)
• Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up
• Guinness World Book of Record Holder: Nithyananda as Youngest Polytechnic Student

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 85: Eighty-five days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 107: One hundred and seven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Nithyananda Creates a Perpendicular Universe Blog

Nithyananda Tries to Bend Vedic Truths a Sharp Left Turn
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. What's happening with your blog? You know, the parallel universe blog where everything gets turned upside down? You know, that blog that we wrote about just a few weeks ago in the blog article called "Nithyananda Starts a New Parallel Universe Blog = Fantasy Land". Oh, that blog. Here it is now:

nithyananda-cult-clarity.blogspot.com

We must admit, Sri Nithyananda, we had a lot of fun making fun of that blog. It was like a 20 mph fast ball, where the 'S' fell out of the word 'fast'. Yes, it had 'hit me' written all over it. In fact, it was like our personal piñata. (A piñata is a paper figure that is filled with candy and little toys. Children that are blind-folded try to hit and then break the swinging piñata to get access to the goodies inside.)

Yes, Sri Nithyananda, your parallel universe blog gave us these posts, "Nithyananda Starts a New Parallel Universe Blog = Fantasy Land", "Nithyananda's Parallel Universe is Ignorant, Therefore Not Bliss", and inspired our latest post "Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)". We think that anything of substance that we posted instantly became weightless in your cult's parallel universe blog. In fact, it looks like you ran out of things to say. Sri Nithyananda, did you get tired of the same old character assaults, cling to fantasy land, remedy the Truth by taking some brainwashing cult-indoctrination programs of yours? It's been over two weeks, and nothing new. You still haven't answered our five (5) simple chronological questions about your time line. Why anyone with fingers on their hand should be able to answer these five simple questions. When will you do that, Sri Nithyananda? "Grabbal Gabble." Oh, our gruntanese translator said that means you don't want to talk about it. But, sorry there, Sri Nithyananda, we do want to talk about it. You see, if you can't even answer those five simple chronological questions about you and your 'enlightenment', then we might begin to think that you made all of these stories up. Then you, Sri Nithyananda, really do offer a fantasy world.

So, does this mean, Sri Nithyananda, that we are not going to hear anything more from your cult's parallel universe blog? Is it destined to float the Universe of Truth like some space junk from the Soviet Sputnik? At least, Sri Nithyananda, you should clean up after your mess. That's good for the environment.

But, what is this here? Oh, my gosh, Sri Nithyananda, you really are abandoning your parallel universe blog. And, you're replacing it with a perpendicular universe blog!

Look at it right here:

nithyananda-culture.blogspot.com

Wow, we see that you used the same strategy of typing our address of 'nithyananda-cult' and at the last minute you do the 'bait and switch' to 'culture'. Why isn't that using the quote one of your followers gave to the Los Angeles Times when pressed some hard questions about your cult operations?

"It's not a cult, it's a culture," said Nithyananda follower David Herold, president of a drug and alcohol testing company headquartered in Redlands. "I call it the enlightenment express."
(source: LA Times July 13, 2007)

Is our tiny little blog pressing hard questions at a real-genuine-truth-laden Paramahamsa? Nah, it couldn't be true. At least Sri Nithyananda, you chose a skin that was different than our friend Jody Radzik Guruphiliac Blog. That's an improvement. And, we see that you're not accepting any comments. That is very safe, Sri Nithyananda. But, all the viewers will think that you're not able to stand up strongly to the Truth or even defend it. They will then come to our site, and make comments about your site from our site. This attracts new viewers and adds legitimacy to our site, which is lacking in your site. So, in a way, you, Sri Nithyananda, are really helping our blog. Thanks.

Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, we think we get it now. Are you taking the strategy of hiding behind the true-and-tried method of 'Vedic Truths'? And, then hoping that some of these Vedic truths rub off on the perception of your cult? And, Sri Nithyananda, while you go 'straight-up-and-down' with some Vedic Truths of your liking, then do you make a sharp left-turn into the realms of your cult? Why isn't that bending the Vedic Truths into your direction? Could someone call that bait-and-switch, co-opting, or just plain propaganda? Sri Nithyananda, do you really think that gullible people will fall for this? Oh, we see, Sri Nithyananda, this strategy has worked for you in the past, and that by 'going straight' on some selective Truths and then turning a sharp left turn into La-La Land makes this the perfect Perpendicular Universe Blog. Potential followers think they are traveling a safe and straight path, and then swoosh a sharp left turn leaves them way out in left field.  Amazing.

Let's take a look at your Perpendicular Universe Blog, shall we?

Your post: Significance of Energy Beads

Our reply: Yes, you are correct there, Sri Nithyananda. Some items are able to conduct and the hold energy such as rudraksha seeds, sandalwood, tulsi (basil) seeds, silk, gold, silver, etc. Yes, that is the 'straight-up-and-down' truths that your Perpendicular Universe Blog states. We agree.

But wait, Sri Nithyananda, here comes that sharp left turn. Sri Nithyananda, what kind of energy can be held in those beads? Can a glass not hold milk, beer, or even poison? So, what type of energy is being put into your energy beads? Is this the same graveyard energy that you perform when you take your followers to midnight graveyard tours? Or the same energy you use when you do a fire ritual with red chilies, human hair, and marijuana seeds? Or is this the same energy that is being stored when someone chants one of your modified mantras where the Lord's name is replaced with your name or your name is slipped in there, giving the mantra a 'new' vibration? Sri Nithyananda, we don't know if we really want that type of energy around our necks. And, why Sri Nithyananda, such a great emphasis with the outer world? Isn't that just another form of worldly materialism? Shouldn't true seekers of the Divine just chant uncorrupted mantras and let the inner vibrations activate the divinity within them? And, come one, Sri Nithyananda, did the rishis or even Ramakrishna attach their pictures to these energy beads? Are you making your followers attached to your material body? [See your post "pt 3, Attachment to Nithyananda's Enlightenment?: Nithyananda's Ashramites & Inner-circle of Nithyananda"] Don't you know that seekers can get stuck there? Oh, we see, you want people to be stuck to your image and praying and then paying just to you. That's part of being in a cult. The personality cult of a cult guru. That sounds very familiar to Reverend Jim Jones did, and definitely something that Osho did. Why Sri Nithyananda, your following perfectly in their footsteps. Great left turn. Very sharp!

Your post: Namaste - The Vedic Greeting

Our reply: Yes, Sri Nithyananda. That was a perfectly safe 'straight-up-and-down' Truth about 'Namaste'. Folded hands and humility. We agree with you totally. Nice touch. And, you, Sri Nithyananda, sound so humble filled with humility. We agree, that those are nice traits to have especially when you want to appear to be something different than you are.

Ah Oh, here comes the sharp left turn into the Perpendicular Universe. Sri Nithyananda, do your followers greet each other with 'Namaste' or 'Namaskar'? We cannot ever recall that. Sri Nithyananda, did you teach your cult followers to say "Nithyanandam"? Is there any references of "Nithyanandam" in any of the Vedas? Why is "Nithyanandam" a totally new greeting that is unique to only you and your followers? Why, Sri Nithyananda, pardon us for being so blunt, but we smell cult. In fact, our very first blog post was on this alone. Look, you can read it here: "Nithyananda Corrupts Sanskrit and Vedic Culture".

Your post: Chakras - Wheels of Energy

Our reply: Yes, Sri Nithyananda, that's a nice summary of chakras (energy centers). Your blog post is crisp, clean, and even has a nice mystic illustration. Very professional. Very straight-up-and-down Truths. But, wait, what's that at the very end? You place a link to find out more about chakras and then attend your two-day introduction program that participants can learn about chakras, meditation, and how to get hooked to you. Oh, Sri Nithyananda, we were hoping that you were not going to turn sharp left on this one. But, you did. Yes, that link doesn't just go to your Life Bliss Program, but goes right to your home page. We suppose then the unsuspecting person can really learn about what restricts chakras with greed, envy, lust, ego, fantasy, inability to accept reality, etc. Yes, your website really does make a good social laboratory. Don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, in a future post, we'll spend a whole blog post about how the 'Life Bliss Program', you know, your two-day workshop on chakras and meditation and how you then 'turn sharp left' and recruit followers from that. We hope that this is not considered fraud. Let's get on to your next blog entry, shall we?

Your post: What is the significance of Kumkum (Sacred Vermillion)?

Our reply: Yes, Sri Nithyananda, placing the kukum (red powder that has turmeric) on your forehead helps the energy flow through the agna chakra (third-eye center), and yes, that is the origin and significance of why Vedic seekers place a little bit on their agna chakra. Turmeric is a wonderful spice. Glad the Rishis discovered early on the benefits of this wonder root.

But, wait, there Sri Nithyananda, wouldn't it be even better if your followers practiced some meditation that would focus on the agna chakra? Wouldn't it be helpful if they lied down on their side and then stared through their agna charka into their upper big toe and then 'looped' this energy for 21 minutes? So, Sri Nithyananda, isn't it best to go into the inner world and not be dependent on the outer world stuff? Or, Sri Nithyananda, is it easier to peddle 'outer world' stuff? We noted, Sri Nithyananda, that someone can purchase online or at your temple your special blend of kukum, why it even comes with some wax! Why the wax, Sri Nithyananda? Oh, we get it, cult followers apply the wax first and then the kukum. That way, someone can get that huge oversized red glob of kukum right between their eyes. But, then again, with a layer of wax in between the chakra and the kumkum, does someone really get the benefit of the turmeric or is this just for show? We have to admit, Sri Nithyananda, with that huge red mark, white cloths, and energized beads that have your big smiling picture, that adds to a certain look, a certain mystique, a certain air of mystery... straight out of a cult. No chance in getting a job anywhere in the world, even Starbucks, looking like that. Oh, there's the sharp left turn. We were waiting for that.

And, Sri Nithyananda, on this blog post you mentioned:

"When this chakra is blocked, one sees the world through a mask of his/her own ideas and conditionings (this mask is called ego). This stops them from seeing things the way they are. Flowering of the agna chakra refers to the process of waking up to the reality, breaking from the clutches of ego, enlightenment."

We have to admire your sense of reality there down in the fantasy-filled world of La-La Land at your ashrams. Where else can followers disown their family, end their careers, quit their education, give up their savings, change their name and identity, farm off their kids, divorce their spouse? Wow, all this happens when someone moves into the ashram and has all that social conditioning removed. So, Sri Nithyananda, if anyone wants all of this, then all they need to do is just place some kukum on their agna chakras and hang out at one of your temples or ashrams? And, yes, in no time at all, the transformation will simply just blossom? Brilliant, there Sri Nithyananda. You're sharp. Sharp left turn that is.

Your post: Fasting - a Healthy Practice

Our reply: Yes, there, Sri Nithyananda, you're right again. Straight-up-and-down. Fasting twice a month is common practice in Vedic culture and has certain benefits. We notice that you like to choose Pradosham, but other common days include Ekadasi, full and new moons, etc. And, giving a seeker's tummy a chance to rest helps clean the system and allows energy to be given to other parts of the being. Spot on.

Speaking of healthy practices, Sri Nithyananda, do you allow your followers a chance to rest properly? You know, get six or perhaps six and a half hours and sometimes maybe even seven-hours of sleep? Sri Nithyananda, do you know the ill effects of sleep deprivation? Of course you do, we covered these topics with your parallel universe blog twice now. You can read them again at "Nithyananda Starts a New Parallel Universe Blog = Fantasy Land" and "Nithyananda's Parallel Universe is Ignorant, Therefore Not Bliss".

But, since you seem a little slow, there, Sri Nithyananda, we'll quickly review some of the ill effects of sleep deprivation. Did you know, Sri Nithyananda, that according to Wikipedia, sleep deprivation can cause mental instability, irritability, cognitive impairment, memory lapses or loss, impaired moral judgment, hallucinations, ADHD symptoms, impaired immune system, risk of Type 2 diabetes, increased heart rates, risk of heart disease, decreased reaction time and accuracy, tremors, aches, growth suppression, risk of obesity, decreased temperature. Why Wikipeida even has a cute little image to illustrate these facts.

[click on the image for larger view]

Sri Nithyananda, is the fact that sleep deprivation in your ashram one of the reasons why some of the ashramites put on so much weight? Is this the type of spiritual 'experience' that you provide them such as hallucinations and impaired moral judgment?

And, did you know, Sri Nithyananda, in laboratory animals, sleep deprivation can cause death? Do you still say that your ashrams are laboratories for the spiritual world? What will happen, Sri Nithyananda, if someone died in your ashram due to sleep deprivation? Will you make a second corrupted holiday called Maha Parinirvana Day 2.0?

And, Sri Nithyananda, did you read the portion about sleep deprivation being a form of torture? With mental instability? Lucky thing for your ashramites that they are with a genuine Paramahamsa who considers himself bigger and badder than Ramakrishna, Ammachi, Swami Vivekananda, and perhaps even Jesus Himself. Otherwise, your sleep deprived followers, under the wrong guidance, could be exploited. Criminal.  Wouldn't it be disappointing to hear that your ashramites were sleep deprived and also starved?  What next, a bed of nails?

So, back to the fasting twice a month, Sri Nithyananda, do you really think the benefits from fasting make up for all of the losses from sleep deprivation? We hate to say this, Sri Nithyananda, but we think that the benefits from fasting after you sleep deprived all your followers is like putting icing on some cardboard and then trying to pass it off as cake.  Yes, that sharp left turn of yours takes the cake!

We have to admit, Sri Nithyananda, none of us ever tried eating a cake quite like this, but it doesn't sound so yummy or even all that healthy. Although we must confess, that it could perhaps look rather tasty for anyone who didn't know what is really going on underneath all that icing. Sri Nithyananda, you're not just all about appearance and setting some impression, are you?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

Day 27: Twenty-seven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 48: Forty-eight days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)

The Backpedaling Swami: The Official Stories of Sri Nithyananda are Updated, But Still Do Not Add Up
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Have you been reading our blog? "I'm a Paramahamsa. I do not bother with such trivia." Oh, I see, there, Sri Nithyananda. But, just want to remind you that even Paramahamsas and so-called Paramahamsas still need to answer to the Truth. Why, you couldn't even answer our five, little chronological questions about your life-story. "The truth requires no embellishment". Yes, we saw that was your response in your Parallel Universe blog where everything gets turned up-side-down.

Well, Sri Nithyananda. Call it what you like, but we couldn't help but notice a slight revision or even a tiny embellishment, shall we say, of your 'Truths' that you wrote on your official Dhyanapeetam website? Do you, Sri Nithyananda, remember how you use to say that you wandered for nine to ten years the breadth of India and Nepal? "Ah, hmmm, oh, yeah." Yes, Sri Nithyananda, you should remember all of that, for you wrote it in all of your books and we heard it over and over again in your lectures. Let's take a look. Here, in my copy of Glimpses of My Master, Nithyananda (first 'first' edition) in December 2005, you mention on page 83 that you, Sri Nithyananda:

“traveled over 30,000 kilometers over 8 to 10 years.”

In most lectures, we hear you usually just say that your wandered for nine years. So, we'll take nine years as the given default 'Truth' that has been accepted as your standard story.

But, wait, what's this here, Sri Nithyananda? On your website, www.dhyanapeetam.org, on this URL:

http://srianandeshwaratemple.dhyanapeetam.org/founder.html

(also available with an attractive wrapper at this URL:

http://srianandeshwaratemple.dhyanapeetam.org/

and then, click on 'founder' link to get the whole nested iframe experience)

we have this information:

Nithyananda would often meditate all night long in the cremation grounds of Tiruvannamalai, absorbed in the vibrant silence of Arunachala, and at the break of dawn, he would return home. During his teenage years, after a profound cognitive shift in his understanding through an encounter with a Siddha in Thiruvannamalai, the urge which he had since childhood, to leave home as a sannyasi, reached its peak. After completing his diploma in Mechanical Engineering at Gudiyattam, Nithyananda made the final resolve to set out on his spiritual journey as a wandering ascetic. He embarked on what was to be an arduous journey, stretching thousands of miles covered mostly by foot, over a period of 6 years, traversing the land of Bharat. From Tapovan in the Himalayas to Kanyakumari in the South, from Dwaraka in the West to Ganga Sagar in the East, Nithyananda wandered for several years in India and in Nepal, practicing intense austerities and studying with many sadhus.

Sri Nithyananda, did you see that? You wrote a 6, as in six years. Not nine, eight or ten years as you have done in the past. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you seem so blessed that you even found a shortcut to your shortcut formula for 'enlightenment'. Wow, that truly burnishes up your credentials. We bet the line to receive your energy darshan is getting longer by the minute now.

Not to get side tracked, Sri Nithyananda, but we also found it interesting that on the same web page, you mention about often meditating all night long in the 'cremation grounds' which is the same as graveyard or cemetery right? Wow, of all the places to pick to meditate, you had to choose the cremation grounds. There are caves, forest, temples, riverbanks, rooftops, etc. Some yogis even chose train stations to do meditations. But, your choice place of meditation, Sri Nithyananda, is the cremation grounds. [Readers, please see our post, "Nithyananda Spreads His Tantric Bliss - This is NOT Lord Shiva" and "Nithyananda & Graveyard Enlightenment".] We hope that you, Sri Nithyananda, made it to the temple now and then to balance out your spirituality.

Back to your reduced years of wandering from nine (9) years to now six (6) years, can we call this reduction Nithyananda nLite™? Sorry, there, Sri Nithyananda, since we called you on your impossible timetable to enlightenment, we imagine that revising your past was the logical thing to do. But, now that you made the revision, we hate to be killjoys, but your story still doesn't add up. For the time being, we'll forget the fact that you were only twelve when you attended the polytechnic in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and were fifteen when even the Rajagopal Polytechnic College stated on their website that you left their school. But, we will hold it to you that you were just seventeen (17) when you left your parents' place to start wandering (Nithyananda Vol. 1, revised first edition, December 2006 p. 181, YouTube Video, "Biography - Paramahamsa Nithyananda" @ 7:57, YouTube Video, "Paramahamsa Nithyananda - Early Childhood Chronicles" @ 12:13). And, you make it a well-advertised 'Truth' that you received your final stage of 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, when you were 22 years old. Sri Nithyananda, this seems like deja vu all over again, but what is 22 years of age minus 17 years of age. Why according to my calculator it is just five (5) years of wandering. Not six (6) years of wandering. Now since you got your 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, did that means that if you started your wandering after January 1, then does that mean that your total years of wandering is even less than five (5) years? So, if you started your wandering in July, then that reduces your wandering to just four-and-a-half (4.5) years. So, perhaps, Sri Nithyananda, your revisions could use some revising?

Oh, Sri Nithyananda, maybe we're not being very culturally sensitive to this whole age concept of yours. We understand that in South India, Tamil Nadu to be exact, that when people turn a certain age, and then after a bit of time, they no longer consider themselves that age for they have past that milestone. So, if you had your sixteenth (16th) birthday in 1994, and after a few weeks, you could consider that you reached that age, and now you were 'reaching' the next milestone of your seventeenth (17th) birthday. In many western countries, they consider this 'going-on-17' just like in that song from the movie "The Sound of Music". So, if you started your wandering perhaps in mid January 1994, which was just a few weeks after your celebrated birthday of January 1, and then reached your 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, then voila! your revised years of wandering 'fit' your story. You Sri Nithyananda, are then able to fit six years of wandering into five years of living. Specifically, this means that you started wandering at 'age 17' and at age 22 in the year 2000, you achieved six (6) years of wandering. Amazing. Technically, you're off by a couple of weeks, but no one should really split hairs over that. And, best of all, your cash-donating-believers and cult-recruiting-acharyas (teachers) can go on believing in you, Sri Nithyananda, as being 'Truthful' after your revisions. Cognitive harmony has been restored.

But, wait, Sri Nithyananda, in your book, Nithyananda Vol. 1, (the second) first edition December 2006 (yes, Sri Nithyananda, as we sure your are able to remember, this is the revised first edition that you had to replace your recalled first first edition of December 2005) on page 177, you had placed a date, or more specifically, a year of 1995. Here is the sentence:

"Back in 1995, when he (Sri Nithyananda) was ready to leave home, no one knew who he was."

Ah, shucks. Sri Nithyananda, you did a great job of leaving out dates in that revised self-autobiography, but looks like you let one slip. But, now we know that your revised wandering years happened sometime in 1995 until January 1, 2000. So, that is at most five (5) years of wandering, but most likely just four-and-a-half (4.5) years of that carefree living.

So, Sri Nithyananda, would you mind if we add to your exalted titled of 'Enlightened' Healing Master and Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths'? We think there's a nice ring to that.

And, Sri Nithyananda, we're also all wondering which story are you going to revise next? Are you going to revise your wandering years from the already reduced six-years-of-wandering or are you going to change your start date of wandering from 1995 to 1994? We'll wait for the next round of embellished 'Truths'. In the meantime, Sri Nithyananda, perhaps you can set up an online gambling site to let your followers bet on which 'Truth' will be revised next. You can say that "All proceeds will go toward erecting a big stadium so more 'Truths' can be given and then corrected to even more people."

Sri Nithyananda, to help our readers understand how ridiculous your timeline and all of your events that don't add up really are, our friends at nithyatales.com put together this handy graphic:

(Click on Image to see the details of fraud)

Source: nithyatales.com

Related Posts:

• Guinness World Book of Record Holder: Nithyananda as Youngest Polytechnic Student
• Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

Day 16: Sixteen days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 37: Thirty-seven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Guinness World Book of Record Holder: 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda as Youngest Polytechnic Student

Boy Genius so-called Swami Nithyananda Attends Polytechnic at Tender Age of Twelve

Summary and Update on January 21, 2010: The Rajagopal Polytechnic in Gudiyattam, where the self-titled Paramahamsa Nithyananda claims to have received a three-year degree, had on its website a picture of 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda and text claiming that he attended there from 1990 to 1993.  Problem is that little Paramahamsa Nithyananda was only 12 in 1990.  As expected, the Polytechnic removed Nithyananda's picture from its website after we posted this blog, but the text about Sri Nithyananda's alleged years of attendance are still there at the very botom of the scrolling Flash file.  (Do not worry; we have plenty of screen shots and HTML code.)

In addition, the graphic below nicely summarizes the inconsistencies in self-titled Paramahamsa Nithyananda's timeline including his 3-year degree at the Polytechnic:

(Click on Image to see the details of fraud)

Source: nithyatales.webs.com

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Wow, we need to thank a blogger called 'Transforming1' on November 23, 2009 from the Guruphiliac Forum who tipped us off that the polytechnic school associated with you is the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu. And, look, right there on their website:

http://www.rajapoly.org/

Screen Shot of rajapoly.org in December 2009 before Paramahamsa Nithyananda's picture was removed and replaced with pictures of the founders of the polytechnic.  (Source: nithyatales.webs.com )

Is a picture of you, Sri Nithyananda, OK, you have to wait about a minute before the Flash animation scrolls up but, trust us, your head pops out from down below and there are these words:

"Alumini of our college is feeding noon meal to poor and needy students."

[ Then an old, but dashing low-res scanned picture of you, Sri Nithyananda, creeps up from below the surface, just like in one of those Ed Wood horror movies. ]

"-As an Alumini,Swamiji Nithyanantha has donated magnanimously
Rs.100000 (Rupees One Lakh) for Noon Meal Scheme
Each year he used todonate huge sum whole heartedly. We proudly register here that he is our Old student, did his Mechanical Engineering(1990-1993."

"He handed over the cheque to our principal in person."

Sri Nithyananda, does Rajagopal Polytechnic College offer courses on English and web site design? And, Sri Nithyananda, is that how you spell your name? Wow, Sri Nithyananda, we never guessed. We mean that you take every opportunity to brag about everything that supports your super-natural god-like-state-of-everything including getting the highest marks in the class (Formless in Form p. 29) Anyway, we know you like to brag, so we're just shocked that you passed up this opportunity to say that you were just a tender age of twelve when you attended the polytechnic school. Let's see if we have this right. You, Sri Nithyananda, were born January 1, 1978. And, the website confirms that you attended from 1990 to 1993. So, 1990 minus 1978 and we get 12-years-of-age.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam was nice enough to provide the information when you left the school, which was 1993. So, that means you were there for three (3) years. And, must be a proud degree holder. But, Sri Nithyananda, when we fit this into your time line, it still doesn't add up.  Let's see, if you started your wandering in 1993 and got enlightenment on January 1, 2000. Why that's just six and a half years (6.5) of wandering and not the full nine (9) years of wandering you always claim. But, wait, there's more. In your book Glimpses of My Master, Nithyananda, original first edition December 2005, page 157, you, Sri Nithyananda, said that you left your parents' house in Thiruvannamalai at age 17 to start your wandering experience. How old were you, Sri Nithyananda when you 'graduated' from the polytechnic school? Let's see, 1993 minus 1978, that makes you a tender age of fifteen. So, after getting the certificate that you are a super-genius for completing the engineering program with the highest grade - a 'Distinction' from the Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam (The Formless in Form, p. 29), did you, Sri Nithyananda crash at your parents' pad for two years, visited graveyards, and hung out at the back of bowling alleys? When you got tired of that, did you, Sri Nithyananda, decide to start your wandering? So, this model doesn't quite make sense... but at least now we have some new 'concrete' dates.

Sri Nithyananda, when are your dedicated bloggers of the parallel universe going to answer our simple questions about your time line? It should be very easy to do. In fact, once your version from La-La Land gets posted, we will no longer be able to speculate what new fantasies will manifest themselves.  So, we hate to spoil our own fun, but your information will end all of our speculation.  Until then, we'll have a field day, at your expense, of course.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, what was your secret in getting accepted in the polytechnic at such a young age? Did you cover you body in holy ash so no one could tell you were just a twelve-year-old? Or did you transform into some super-hero like the time you once claimed that you became Swami Ayyappa to your teacher? (Formless in Form p. 22). Hey, Sri Nithyananda, have you ever thought about wearing a cape and some tights? And, perhaps some cute little orange boots? Sri Nithyananda, you already have that Osho logo with the swan on it. That could be the emblem you place on your chest; you would be all set. We bet the ladies would really fall for you in that get up. Anyway, these scenarios for you getting into the Rajagopal Polytechnic College in Gudiyattam are not that likely, even for an 'enlightened' healing master like you, Sri Nithyananda.

Come to think of it, it must have been a bit hard for you to have all those experiences in Thiruvannamalai while attending the polytechnic in Gudiyattam at the same time. Didn't you, Sri Nithyananda, claim to have that 360 vision at the age of twelve at Arunachala Hill in Thiruvannamalai? Were you on summer vacation at the time, for that happened in May? And, what about all those other stories with you allegedly palled around with Mataji Kuppammal and circumventing Arunachala Hill for a few months everyday, etc. And, what about those stories in high school, you, know, Senior Secondary School, Standards IX to XII? We already mentioned one of them about how your teacher became your devotee after you transformed into Lord Ayyappa. Did do an accelerated program and completed Standards IX to XII at age eleven? Wow, that would be enlightening. Do you have any proof of this? Why didn't you mention this wonderful achievement before? Ah, we get it, Sri Nithyananda, you're just one of those modest types.

So, Sri Nithyananda, how did you get all of these experiences at age twelve? Did you commute from and hurried back to have all of those experience? "Aghhhhh", Sri Nithyananda, our Gruntanese translator can't figure out if you mean 'yes' or 'no'. Anyway, we just checked on Google Maps.

Google Map from Thiruvannamalai to Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu

And, Google Maps says that it takes 1 hour and 50 minutes in optimal conditions to commute from Thiruvannamalai to Gudiyattam. Now if you are taking public transportation, then that would increase your commute by at least 30 minutes. (Perhaps as much as an hour and a half, but we'll give Sri Nithyananda a break.) If you had to walk to the bus station from your house in Thiruvannamalai, that adds on at least another 15 minutes (minimum) and probably the same with getting to the polytechnic in Gudiyattam. Add the wait time for a bus and your looking at least two and a half hours minimum from door to door, that would mean five hours every day, but most likely even more. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, no wonder you never had time to study.

So, Sri Nithyananda, we hate to call you on these inconvenient discrepancies about all these confusing dates, but we would like to perhaps offer an explanation to why these dates just don't match. We already know, that you, Sri Nithyananda, really have a thing about looking youthful, you know, your appearance and image. So, we imagine that the temptation to fudge it a bit is always there. Now, we have seen a government issued documentation that really states that your birth day is on March 13, 1977. Wow, that's nine months before you said that you 'descended' down to this planet, but we know that in India, the date of birth records are not always so exact, and that that difference alone wouldn't raise too many eye brows in the Indian legal system.

If you want to cheat on a handwritten document and fudge it a bit, probably the easiest number to 'transform' into another number would be the number '2'. With a similar pen stroke and a slash in the middle, you can make a '2' into a '7'. Let's, Sri Nithyananda, do an academic experiment. Let's say you were born in 1972 and changed the 2 into a 7, so you can claim that you were born in 1977. Is this what happened? So, let's go back and see if you were born on 1972, does this fit the evidence, Sri Nithyananda? Hey, that works, you would then be 18 when you entered the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and attended your engineering program. But, wait, if you stayed until 1993, then that would have made you 21 when you started your wandering. So, we imagine that perhaps shortly after attending the Engineering Program, that you got bored and flunked out. Maybe it was an all-boys school back then, so the extracurricular activities were a bit limited in scope. After disappointing everyone, then it made sense for you, Sri Nithyananda, to leave home wandering rather than be a slacker at the graveyard. Of course that meant that you were at least 18 or maybe even 19 when you left home, but at least you could have gotten your 9.5 years of wandering in before you experienced your alleged 'ultimate' experience of 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000. If that revised date of 1972 held true, Sri Nithyananda, then that would make you now 37-years-of-age, almost 38. That might explain that clump of gray hairs you had a few years back and why you now look so middle aged these days.

Now, admittedly, we don't have any hard proof of this theory, but we do see the dates you allegedly attended at the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and saw your copy of the government documentation that had your 'other' date of birth on it. So, that means in order to keep this legend up, the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam had to be a willing partner to make sure that you were 'credited' and a 'graduate'. Are there any clues to what might motivate them to do such an act of educational transgression? Oh, back to Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam website:

http://www.rajapoly.org/

we see right there that it said that you helped "feeding noon meal to poor and needy students." and that you, Sri Nithyananda "handed over the cheque to our principal in person." For the amount of "Rs.100,000 (Rupees One Lakh)." This comes out to a little over two thousand US dollars. (On December 7, 2009 that as $2,145.69. Why that wasn't very much, Sri Nithyananda, in exchange for keeping your myth alive. Why that's not even half of what your charge for the 'Inner Awakening' program. Did you have a more private 'under the table' ceremony during your visit? We suppose that the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam did get to place your picture, Sri Nithyananda, on their website, so now it is a famous 'in demand' place that young people can attend and feel your energy on perhaps one of the chairs there. We're sure that you will draw in new recruits like hotcakes, there, Sri Nithyananda, unless of course, you go to jail sometime for all of your crimes, then we imagine that the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, probably will remove your picture from their website.

Once again, we do not have any hard proof of any of these allegations, but obviously something fishy is happening here. So, for all of you investigative journalists, you might want to pay a visit to the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, and see the poor students being feed their noontime meal. If nothing is happening, then we're sure you will hear something like "Eka Dasi" (a traditional fasting day) or the chef is sick. If you're persistent enough and make an appointment, then the chances are high you will be treated to watch all the staff eat a meal and hear complaints about the low pay of working at a polytechnic. Why you are there, you might want to check the records of Sri Nithyananda, then probably known as Rajasekaren, and see exactly how old this boy genius was when he attended the Rajagopal Polytechnic College, in Gudiyattam, for his engineering certificate. Sri Nithyananda just might have been a little bit older than twelve. There's only one way to find out.

Related Posts:

• Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up
• Nithyananda, Show Us Your Birth Certificate, Please
• Paramahamsa Nithyananda Fails Engineering College
• Nithyananda, Can You Repeat that 360 Vision?
• Nithyananda's Tales of Fraudulent Anecdotes

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

Day 6: Six days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 27: Twenty-seven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.