The Backpedaling Swami: The Official Stories of Sri Nithyananda are Updated, But Still Do Not Add Up
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Have you been reading our blog? "I'm a Paramahamsa. I do not bother with such trivia." Oh, I see, there, Sri Nithyananda. But, just want to remind you that even Paramahamsas and so-called Paramahamsas still need to answer to the Truth. Why, you couldn't even answer our five, little chronological questions about your life-story. "The truth requires no embellishment". Yes, we saw that was your response in your Parallel Universe blog where everything gets turned up-side-down.
Well, Sri Nithyananda. Call it what you like, but we couldn't help but notice a slight revision or even a tiny embellishment, shall we say, of your 'Truths' that you wrote on your official Dhyanapeetam website? Do you, Sri Nithyananda, remember how you use to say that you wandered for nine to ten years the breadth of India and Nepal? "Ah, hmmm, oh, yeah." Yes, Sri Nithyananda, you should remember all of that, for you wrote it in all of your books and we heard it over and over again in your lectures. Let's take a look. Here, in my copy of Glimpses of My Master, Nithyananda (first 'first' edition) in December 2005, you mention on page 83 that you, Sri Nithyananda:
“traveled over 30,000 kilometers over 8 to 10 years.”In most lectures, we hear you usually just say that your wandered for nine years. So, we'll take nine years as the given default 'Truth' that has been accepted as your standard story.
But, wait, what's this here, Sri Nithyananda? On your website, www.dhyanapeetam.org, on this URL:
http://srianandeshwaratemple.dhyanapeetam.org/founder.htmlwe have this information:
(also available with an attractive wrapper at this URL:
and then, click on 'founder' link to get the whole nested iframe experience)
Nithyananda would often meditate all night long in the cremation grounds of Tiruvannamalai, absorbed in the vibrant silence of Arunachala, and at the break of dawn, he would return home. During his teenage years, after a profound cognitive shift in his understanding through an encounter with a Siddha in Thiruvannamalai, the urge which he had since childhood, to leave home as a sannyasi, reached its peak. After completing his diploma in Mechanical Engineering at Gudiyattam, Nithyananda made the final resolve to set out on his spiritual journey as a wandering ascetic. He embarked on what was to be an arduous journey, stretching thousands of miles covered mostly by foot, over a period of 6 years, traversing the land of Bharat. From Tapovan in the Himalayas to Kanyakumari in the South, from Dwaraka in the West to Ganga Sagar in the East, Nithyananda wandered for several years in India and in Nepal, practicing intense austerities and studying with many sadhus.Sri Nithyananda, did you see that? You wrote a 6, as in six years. Not nine, eight or ten years as you have done in the past. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you seem so blessed that you even found a shortcut to your shortcut formula for 'enlightenment'. Wow, that truly burnishes up your credentials. We bet the line to receive your energy darshan is getting longer by the minute now.
Not to get side tracked, Sri Nithyananda, but we also found it interesting that on the same web page, you mention about often meditating all night long in the 'cremation grounds' which is the same as graveyard or cemetery right? Wow, of all the places to pick to meditate, you had to choose the cremation grounds. There are caves, forest, temples, riverbanks, rooftops, etc. Some yogis even chose train stations to do meditations. But, your choice place of meditation, Sri Nithyananda, is the cremation grounds. [Readers, please see our post, "Nithyananda Spreads His Tantric Bliss - This is NOT Lord Shiva" and "Nithyananda & Graveyard Enlightenment".] We hope that you, Sri Nithyananda, made it to the temple now and then to balance out your spirituality.
Back to your reduced years of wandering from nine (9) years to now six (6) years, can we call this reduction Nithyananda nLite™? Sorry, there, Sri Nithyananda, since we called you on your impossible timetable to enlightenment, we imagine that revising your past was the logical thing to do. But, now that you made the revision, we hate to be killjoys, but your story still doesn't add up. For the time being, we'll forget the fact that you were only twelve when you attended the polytechnic in Gudiyattam, Tamil Nadu, and were fifteen when even the Rajagopal Polytechnic College stated on their website that you left their school. But, we will hold it to you that you were just seventeen (17) when you left your parents' place to start wandering (Nithyananda Vol. 1, revised first edition, December 2006 p. 181, YouTube Video, "Biography - Paramahamsa Nithyananda" @ 7:57, YouTube Video, "Paramahamsa Nithyananda - Early Childhood Chronicles" @ 12:13). And, you make it a well-advertised 'Truth' that you received your final stage of 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, when you were 22 years old. Sri Nithyananda, this seems like deja vu all over again, but what is 22 years of age minus 17 years of age. Why according to my calculator it is just five (5) years of wandering. Not six (6) years of wandering. Now since you got your 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, did that means that if you started your wandering after January 1, then does that mean that your total years of wandering is even less than five (5) years? So, if you started your wandering in July, then that reduces your wandering to just four-and-a-half (4.5) years. So, perhaps, Sri Nithyananda, your revisions could use some revising?
Oh, Sri Nithyananda, maybe we're not being very culturally sensitive to this whole age concept of yours. We understand that in South India, Tamil Nadu to be exact, that when people turn a certain age, and then after a bit of time, they no longer consider themselves that age for they have past that milestone. So, if you had your sixteenth (16th) birthday in 1994, and after a few weeks, you could consider that you reached that age, and now you were 'reaching' the next milestone of your seventeenth (17th) birthday. In many western countries, they consider this 'going-on-17' just like in that song from the movie "The Sound of Music". So, if you started your wandering perhaps in mid January 1994, which was just a few weeks after your celebrated birthday of January 1, and then reached your 'enlightenment' on January 1, 2000, then voila! your revised years of wandering 'fit' your story. You Sri Nithyananda, are then able to fit six years of wandering into five years of living. Specifically, this means that you started wandering at 'age 17' and at age 22 in the year 2000, you achieved six (6) years of wandering. Amazing. Technically, you're off by a couple of weeks, but no one should really split hairs over that. And, best of all, your cash-donating-believers and cult-recruiting-acharyas (teachers) can go on believing in you, Sri Nithyananda, as being 'Truthful' after your revisions. Cognitive harmony has been restored.
But, wait, Sri Nithyananda, in your book, Nithyananda Vol. 1, (the second) first edition December 2006 (yes, Sri Nithyananda, as we sure your are able to remember, this is the revised first edition that you had to replace your recalled first first edition of December 2005) on page 177, you had placed a date, or more specifically, a year of 1995. Here is the sentence:
"Back in 1995, when he (Sri Nithyananda) was ready to leave home, no one knew who he was."Ah, shucks. Sri Nithyananda, you did a great job of leaving out dates in that revised self-autobiography, but looks like you let one slip. But, now we know that your revised wandering years happened sometime in 1995 until January 1, 2000. So, that is at most five (5) years of wandering, but most likely just four-and-a-half (4.5) years of that carefree living.
So, Sri Nithyananda, would you mind if we add to your exalted titled of 'Enlightened' Healing Master and Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths'? We think there's a nice ring to that.
And, Sri Nithyananda, we're also all wondering which story are you going to revise next? Are you going to revise your wandering years from the already reduced six-years-of-wandering or are you going to change your start date of wandering from 1995 to 1994? We'll wait for the next round of embellished 'Truths'. In the meantime, Sri Nithyananda, perhaps you can set up an online gambling site to let your followers bet on which 'Truth' will be revised next. You can say that "All proceeds will go toward erecting a big stadium so more 'Truths' can be given and then corrected to even more people."
Sri Nithyananda, to help our readers understand how ridiculous your timeline and all of your events that don't add up really are, our friends at nithyatales.com put together this handy graphic:
- Guinness World Book of Record Holder: Nithyananda as Youngest Polytechnic Student
- Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up