Part 2: Nithyananda's Record at Healing

Nithyananda Gets a Doctor's Note
When we last left you in our blog post from yesterday, "Part 1: Nithyananda's Record at Healing" (recommended to read first), poor Sri Nithyananda seemed to have passed out from the very thought of us posting information on how someone who has attended his programs at the Vedic Temple in Montclair, Los Angeles, or suffered from a loved one who has attended any function in the Vedic Temple in Montclair, which is close to Los Angeles...

(Please note that we purposely repeat the term Vedic Temple in Montclair / Los Angeles so that Google will nicely index the keywords "Vedic Temple Montclair Los Angeles" so that anyone who does a search for "Nithyananda Vedic Temple Los Angeles exactly in Montclair" will be able to find this post about Nithyananda and his Vedic Temple in Montclair within the greater Los Angeles region. We apologies for the repetition of using the keywords of Vedic Temple Montclair Los Angeles.)

Where were we?... oh, yes, if anyone attended a function at the Vedic Temple in Montclair that is close to Los Angeles, that person could make a legal claim against, you, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, the Vedic Temple in Montclair, which is just a few miles from Los Angeles, and his cult. (Stay tuned for a future post.)

To help Sri Nithyananda come out of his 'instant' and convenient samadhi's, I brought along some pictures of some very attractive ladies to help him regain his awareness. Let's see if this works.

Sri Nithyananda, I'm so glad that we're back together again to continue this discussion about your healing record and help to clarify it. Sri Nithyananda, are you going into samadhi already or are you just rolling your eyes? Sri Nithyananda, since you claim that you are an 'enlightened' healing master, do you ever get sick? You will say, "No." OK, I thought that is what you would say. After all, if anyone ever sees you, Sri Nithyananda, get sick, that would kind of ruin the market, kind of like being a pregnant prostitute, wouldn't it? Sri Nithyananda, you can't go into samadhi this early. We barely got started. OK, Sri Nithyananda, could you help explain the special ingredients that must help an 'enlightened' master that specifically found in Airborne®? Yes, we know that you munch on Airborne® as if it were popcorn or something. Is that why you're packing all those extra pounds? Come on, Sri Nithyananda, you have to admit that your face has grown chubbier than a chipmunk. Sri Nithyananda, where do you get your supply of Airborne®? Do you have your 'trusted' devotees bring them to you? Of course, you do. Why, we even know some of the people who supplied you all this Airborne® before you gone off on you journeys, you know when you sit in the first class cabin of some big jet, why you make your assistant, Ma Nithyananda Gopika, sit in the cattle cart section of economy coach. I'm sure the attractive flight attendants give you all the attention you need to help make it through that long, lonely journey.

Speaking of Ma Nithyananda Gopika, how's she doing, Sri Nithyananda? Does she still carry all of your oversized luggage and your big, big, big gold accessories? That's pretty heavy lifting there, Sri Nithyananda. And, Sri Nithyananda, why does your luggage sound like a pair of maracas? Oh, that's her luggage, not your luggage, Sri Nithyananda. OK, so why does Ma Nithyananda Gopika's luggage sound like a pair of maracas? Let's take a look. Oh, it is full of extra strength painkillers. Why would anyone around an 'enlightened' healing master be carrying around bottles of painkiller?

Sri Nithyananda, you're going into samadhi again. Here, look at this picture of this pretty lady. She is a traditional belly dancer. Maybe you can have her do a performance at one of your traditional functions? Oh, yes, you're right. Perhaps you, Sri Nithyananda, better have a private screening first, just to make sure of her qualifications.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, I'm glad you're out of samadhi. Now, why does your personal assistant, Ma Nithyananda Gopika carry, all those pain relief pills on her? Oh, that's right. She has severe back pain. You, know, Sri Nithyananda, you might want to give her a little attention and heal her back. That would be a nice thing to do for her, after she has done all of this work for you; you know, Sri Nithyananda, she works almost 24x7 just for you. It is only fair. And, that way, Sri Nithyananda, others won't ever question your healing abilities.

Sri Nithyananda, Ma Nithyananda's back problems are not attributed to you, are they? After all, it is a well-known fact that you do break the backs of all your ashramites. Do they ever get any rest? Do they ever stop working? Do they ever have a day off? OK, Sri Nithyananda, we'll save that one for another post.

Sri Nithyananda, back to you. Have you ever gotten visibly sick? Not at least to the point that anyone ever has noticed? OK, Sri Nithyananda, I know you will say, "No." That response was pretty easy to guess, but once again, Sri Nithyananda, you're wrong. Sri Nithyananda, do you remember your first NSP program held in Newark, close to Fremont, California in the Bay Area / San Jose region of California in 2004? Of course you do. Why Sri Nithyananda, the air circulation in that hotel, the Holiday Inn Express, was way off, and everyone got sick, except for you because you are an 'enlightened' healing master, correct? However, you did hold a little orange handkerchief, and that little orange handkerchief did some magic trick around your nose about every 30 seconds. And, Sri Nithyananda, your voice sounded pretty raspy too. Was that due to some fire ritual or was it due to yelling at the people who you were traveling with?

And, what about that time in St. Louis, 2007 to be exact?  Your nose was running longer and faster than a marathon finalist during that final sprint for the finish.  And, all that coughing of yours; was that your special gift to attendees?  Why you, Sri Nithyananda, could market this as a special technique of 'hack' your way to 'enlightenment', but probably just being in your presence is enough.  And, that handkerchief that you used that day, what did you, Sri Nithyananda, do with that?  I hope you disposed of it properly.  I could just imagine some deluded followers of yours proudly displaying that filthy piece of cloth in their prayer room.  "Yes, you see all this snout and buggers?  That's from an 'enlightened' healing master!  It radiates energy.", and germs, no doubt.  Sri Nithyananda, did you ever release a video about the 'truths' you revealed in St. Louis in 2007 when you were so sick?  We thought you would say "no".  Better to re-record those after you had some Airborne®.

Sri Nithyananda, that seems to be quite a trap you worked yourself into. Now, you can never get sick or show any one that your not feeling well, or your validity vanishes even faster than your ashramites' life savings. What if you get high blood pressure or something? I bet you have to work extra hard to hush-hush that. I bet all it will take, Sri Nithyananda, is for someone to throw a couple of banana peels your way, and then you slip right into your own trap. I hope, Sri Nithyananda, you can escape from this. Would this be a new form of 'enlightenment'?

Wait, Sri Nithyananda, there must be a way out of this trap. I know, each time you get a common cold or something, you can claim that you have taken on the karma of a severe trauma patient who happens to be related to a big donor and say that I have taken on and am burning off that poor person's karma. This way, you can still be human and get sick, and get the gratitude of some big donor who will be glad to write a big check and hope that you get even sicker next time. Why this works with just about anyone, Sri Nithyananda. I bet you, Sri Nithyananda, can say things like "You would have gotten in a terrible auto accident, but instead, I got this cold sore near my lip. It is through my grace, as an 'enlightened' master that I took this cold sore on." Wow, Sri Nithyananda, I see the checkbooks opening now! Sri Nithyananda, you could now say that you suck up other people's bad karma like a big sponge.  Others might then say that you are truly a spiritual sponge.

Sri Nithyannda, do you remember shortly after you opened the Vedic Temple in Montclair and one of your followers came to you with their child who had a severe, chronic, incapacitating, debilitating illness? Sri Nithyananda, are you going into samadhi again? Listen. You did several 'healings' on this child, and at one point you boldly proclaimed that, "You are healed!" The mother of this child had so much trust in you and your healing capabilities that she took her child off the medication. Two days later, her child was in serious condition and almost rushed to the emergency room if the medicine (not your 'healing') was not resumed. Why that could have resulted in a big lawsuit and perhaps even criminal charges. Do you remember this, Sri Nithyananda? Sri Nithyananda, can you hear me? Dang. He's gone into samadhi again. Sri Nithyananda, I'm holding a picture of a very attractive lady in a nurse outfit. Boy, that hemline on her skirt seems very short for a nurse uniform; in fact, there's not much of a hemline at all. Do you think she's a real nurse just as you, Sri Nithyananda, are a real 'healer'? Ah, I knew you would come to, Sri Nithyananda.

Sri Nithyananda, what do you say when you cannot heal someone but there still alive? Yes, we already know your trick about saying that you healed their soul, but not their body, when they died. But, what if they don't die, but still not healed? Sri Nithyananda, you're going into samadhi again. Snap out of it! I'm almost out of pictures. Let me help you. One of our blog readers wrote in to tell us a story that you told in your book, "Guaranteed Solutions". You said that you went to heal the person and then this person's 'being' (I guess you mean soul) came out and talked to you. That conversation was in Tamil, even though the 'patient' never spoke Tamil before. Nandri. Vanakkam. And, according to you, that being said to you, "Hands off! I want to live a nice life being taken care of. I don't want to be healed!" Do you remember this, Sri Nithyananda?

Although I couldn't find this reference in my edition of "Guaranteed Solutions", first edition, Dec. 2005, I remember the first time that you said something like this was at the first acharya (teacher) training program in the Siddhachalam Jain Temple in New Jersey in September 2004. During the acharya training, there was a very dedicated and sincere family with an autistic child. Without mentioning their names, you, Sri Nithyananda, blurted out this 'truth'. The child's mother was very upset, naturally, and we all knew who you were talking about. Sri Nithyananda, did you really mean to pit off the parents of an autistic child versus their devotion for you? Now, families that have relatives or children that cannot be healed by you can now blame their sick loved ones for having uncooperating souls. That's quite a coup there, Sri Nithyananda. Are there other ways that you, Sri Nithyananda, go and break up families? (Hint: look for future posts.) I imagine that you need to be very careful before you play this card, because some families might even believe their loved ones more than the stories from an 'enlightened' healing master, Sri Nithyananda. At that point, these non-believers will just close their checkbooks and miss. Sri Nithyananda, that could really hurt. Neither do you get their donations and they miss your blessings. Scandalous. But, if you carefully plan and calculate the family's devotion to you, by using this tactic, you, Sri Nithyananda, go unscathed and still rack in big donations. Sri Nithyananda, you're quite a baller!

Sri Nithyananda, you say that it is lunchtime? But, we are not finished yet. Oh, I see there's a young attractive lady who has brought you your lunch. Sri Nithyananda, can we finish this conversation after you have your lunch? What? In five hours? But, it doesn't take five hours to eat lunch, does it? OK, OK, you look thoroughly not happy, Sri Nithyananda. I'll come back after five hours, but we need to get this clear so nobody will have any doubts about you, Sri Nithyananda, and your healing abilities any more.

To be continued...

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda Fabricates an Osho Statue Story

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's Statues of Crime; An Image of Osho
Paramahamsa Nithyananda, isn’t it true that you ordered a custom built statue of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) from a carver near Mahabalipuram (in Tamil Nadu) and claimed that you chiseled this by your own bare hands in a cave for the nine months as your first act of obtaining 'enlightenment'? That statement alone is very interesting. The first thing you claim to do after being 'enlightened' is to carve a granite statue of the controversial spiritual ‘leader’, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho).  Wow, I knew you would make good use of your 'enlightenment'.  We were afraid you were going to blow it all on ice cream or something.

Sri Nithyananda, can you please tell us where this holy cave is located? Are there any eyewitness villager names? You said that someone would bring you food every day, so there must be someone whose name you can give us to testify that all of these stories about lonely you being in a cave for nine months are all true. We really want to believe you and these stories.  Honest.

Sri Nithyananda, that statue must have been very heavy. After being chiseled, a man can barely carry it. Why you must have actually done some heavy lifting for a change.

You, Sri Nithyananda, being a renunciate can we please ask how you obtained a piece of granite that must have weighed around 100 KG? And, where did you get the tools to chisel this? Did you purchase them... with money? But, I thought you said you renounced handling money?  Oh, wait, did you teleport these things?  That must have been it.  But, didn't you, Sri Nithyananda, say that if you teleport something that doesn't belong to you, then that's stealing?  And you only had a begging bowl and the clothes on your back, and perhaps a few chisels and a mallet?  But nothing more than that.  So, how did you score all of this swag?  Maybe this is the new 'mystery of mysteries'.  Please de-mystify this for us.

And, how did you, Sri Nithyananda, carry this Osho statue with you after you moved out of the cave? Did you rent a U-Haul Truck?  And, where did you store this big heavy statue?  We didn't see any pictures of it in your humble first ashram at Erode on the Kaveri River.  In fact, we never saw it at the Bidadi Ashram even during the beginning years.  Did you, Nithyananda, leave this Osho statue at your parents' house?

Sri Nithyananda, did you have this Osho statue shipped out to your new Vedic Temple in Montclair, (Los Angeles) California in 2007 where you had it on display next to Lord Buddha and the 24 Jain enlightened ascetics called tirthankaras?  Yes, that is true.  Many saw it there.  And, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you have a lot of granite statues just made in short order especially for this Vedic Temple?  Why I bet you were negotiating with lots of carvers in order to make all of those statues in such a short time and then still be able to ship them out to your Vedic Temple in Montclair, California before the grand opening.

And, is it true, Nithyananda, that you gave this statue of Osho as your precise gift ‘enlightenment’ to a humble donor, Mr. Popat and Mrs. Kalpana Jain who are true devotees of Osho and donated over two million dollars to pay for your Vedic Temple in Los Angeles? Why, Sri Nithyananda, is this not cheating if it wasn't really you who carved that Osho statue?

Nithyananda, can you answer the questions to how you ordered this Osho statue, the location, time, and date of year? We know that you will not answer these questions. But do not fret. We have obtained the contact information of the statue carver in Mahabalipuram, Tamil Nadu who actually made that Osho statue.  I'm sure you ordered this Osho statue from this carver as a 'backup' on top of the one you made, just to make sure that your carving was better. Right?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

Questions That Need an Answer by Sri Nithyananda

Chronological Warfare with Nithyananda's 'Enlightenment'
Nithyananda, you say that you're 'enlightened' and you have deep insights to everything? That you can answer simple worldly questions with no problem? You say, "Yes". I say, "That sounds good. But, I'm from Missouri. I need to be shown." So, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, can you answer some very simple questions about your life? You, Nithyananda, seem very quiet. I promise that these are easy chronological questions because being a self-proclaimed Paramahamsa, you are embedded in the Truth. Are you not? If you only tell the Truth, then it is very easy to answer anything, correct? Sri Nithyananda, did the cat steal your tongue?

OK, readers from New York, Flushing New York, Queens, Bellevue Washington, Seattle Washington, and Montclair, Los Angeles, San Barnardino regions, etc., who still have a chance to meet Nithyananda before he goes back to India in November, could you please ask these simple questions to Sri Nithyananda during the upcoming Kalpataru programs and the International Youth Conference?

1. What was the name of the polytechnic that you, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, claimed to receive a degree with 'Distinction' in?

2. What were the dates (from when to when), you, Sri Nithyananda, attended this polytechnic school? (Hint: it must have been before your wandering.)

3. What year did you, Nithyananda, leave your home and begin wandering?

4. How many years did you, Sri Nithyananda, wander before receiving 'enlightenment'?

(Hint: the year Nithyananda started wandering plus years wandering cannot exceed January 1, 2000, the time Sri Nithyananda claims he was 'enlightened'. For instance, he claims to have left home at age 17 in 1995 to start his 9 years of wandering, but managed to pick up a two-year degree before all this happened, and still received 'enlightenment' just four and a half years later on January 1, 2000. Something just is not right with these calculations. If we count backwards, we subtract 9 years from 2000 = 1991. Then subtract two years to account for the polytechnic degree and we have January 1989. Why, in January 1989, Nithyananda was just 12, and at that time, Nithyananda did not even had his first 'enlightenment' story of seeing 360 degrees (which allegedly happened in May 1989). So, we're missing over five years, but Sri Nithyananda will be sure to tell the Truth, and everything will be just fine as it was before we were started to open our eyes and seek the Truth.)

5. Also, ask Sri Nithyananda when exactly was his biological birthday? We need to know the day, year, and time, just like the information that was given to the astrologers that determined that Sri Nithyananda would be a sanyasi (renunciant monk). There are all kinds of rumors and stories that his birthday is on a different day other than January 1, 1978, and Nithyananda can easily clear this up in one shot.

6. Finally, please ask Sri Nithyananda where was the EXACT place that he became 'enlightened'? This 'enlightenment' story seems to be wiggling like a worm on the hot pavement. We'll be writing about it shortly. Therefore, it would be helpful if he clarified once and for all where he, Nithyananda, became 'enlightened'.

By asking Paramahamsa Nithyananda these questions, you certainly will be doing him a great service. Right now, there seems to be lots of doubt about all of these stories, which are probably very true, or at least at one point in our lives we would have liked to believe that these stories were true. After all, every one of these stories about Paramahamsa Nithyanada is in his books and in his YouTube videos. All the sanyasis (renunciants) and acharyas (teachers) also will gladly tell you that these stories are true. However, the problem is with people like us, with our worldly and logical minds that just cannot understand these stories unless they are clear with firm dates that match the context. So, by asking Sri Nithyananda, he has a chance to clear all of these doubts and assure us that he really is 'enlightened' and that he might even make us 'enlightened' just as he is 'enlightened'.

If you are at Kalpataru programs and the International Youth Conference, be sure to discuss these simple questions during the breaks at during lunch with all other participants. Also, be sure to raise them during the 'question and answer' sessions. This will help keep the focus on giving Sri Nithyananda his big chance to let us all know that every one of his stories really is true, and that we should believe everything he says.

If Sri Nithyananda cannot answer these simple questions about his own life, then it might help keep people who have lots of questions and doubts whether Nithyananda really is 'enlightened' or not 'enlightened' away from Nithyananda and his followers... therefore, they will not annoy Paramahamsa Nithyananda and his followers with these seemingly silly questions. Then, Sri Nithyananda will have more time to spend with his TRUE believers who do not ask these silly questions or who are not very good at things like simple math and basic logic, but just want to believe everything that Sri Nithyananda says because Sri Nithyananda sounds so convincing or heart-throbbing otherwise.

Perhaps those that have seemingly nagging and annoying worldly questions but signed up to attend some expensive and timely programs like "Life Bliss Engineering" should ask for a full refund. I'm sure Nithyananda will be glad to give a full refund because if these people attended the program full of doubts about if Nithyananda is 'enlightened' or not 'enlightened', they will probably not get much from this expensive program. In fact, they will probably spend most of their time asking Sri Nithyananda if he really is 'enlightened' or not 'enlightened' which will take away the bliss from the other people who really do believe that Sri Nithyananda is 'enlightened' and who paid all that money and made all those arrangements to be there to receive 'enlightenment' from the 'enlightened' master, Sri Nithyananda. If these doubters are there spoiling all that bliss, then everyone will go home disappointed for everyone will think that they did not receive 'enlightenment' after paying all that money and taking all that time off to be there. So, everyone will benefit if these people with doubts, even small doubts, receive a full refund and stay away from Sri Nithyananda and his programs.

Therefore, if you have signed up for this expensive and timely program of "Life Bliss Engineering", I'm sure all you need to do is contact the nearest ashram in LA or Bidadi, ask your questions about Sri Nithyananda's enlightenment, and if the answers are not fully satisfying, then politely, but firmly ask for a full refund.

If for any silly reason the ashrams refuse to give you a full refund, then you may send us your story, and we'll gladly post it on this forum. If there are enough people who are not satisfied with the answers regarding Sri Nithyananda's 'enlightenment' explanations, then perhaps we can organize a class action law suit. I believe we just need five people to start one. Why not be the first batch to see if the logic of the legal system is any match for Sri Nithyananda's chronological logic of his 'enlightenment'?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.