The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

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Nithyananda's Criminal Trial Starts December 3, 2014. On July 2, 2012, a U.S. Federal Court found the Nithyananda Foundation guilty of Fraud with damages of $1,565,000 U.S.D. Peaceful Spirituality or Blood Thirsty Cult? Nithyananda's supporters are willing to die for his crimes. The untimely death of a Canadian citizen in Nithyananda's ashram.  An accident or murder? Nithyananda is not who he seems to be. Behind the scenes, Nithyananda's smile is quite different. Some like it spicy. Nithyananda is known to offer chilies, human hair, and marijuana seeds in his midnight fire rituals. Nithyananda the 'renunciant' was caught money laundering over $6,000,000 USD into his personal bank account. Nithyananda managed several hedge funds while in the U.S. on a religious visa. Spiritual practice? Tantric techniques? Or just plain sleaze? Sex Swami Nithyananda: Self-Idolizing and Cross-dressing Nithyananda's Healing: This won't hurt a bit. Your Soul is now mine; brainwashed and devoted to me. Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977?

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Part 1: 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's Record at Healing

So-Called 'Swami' Nithyananda, a Well Healed Master

Paramahamsa Nithyananda, do you remember when you first came to the U.S. and you said that healing was your calling card? "Aghhhh." Nice grunt there, Sri Nithyananda. We have a translator and we understand that "Aghhhh" means "Yes" in Gruntanese. By the way, will Gruntanese be your official language when you do finally get that country you've been aiming for? Sorry, I didn't mean to side track you from your busy schedule. There's a lot potential donors in the audience and you need to work each one so they will give you the maximum. Sorry, Sri Nithyananda, this won't take very long at all.

So, Sri Nithyananda, can you tell us about your miraculous healing abilities? Does your healing energy always work? Sorry, there, Sri Nithyananda, but your wrong again. You’re a little spotty there, kind of like your healing energy. If someone comes for healing and you say in your trademark language "You will be healed.” and for some reason, that person is not healed and keels over and dies, what do you tell them, Sri Nithyananda? We want to hear. After all, your reputation and ability to score big donations and possibly a cut of someone's will is at stake. Tell us, Sri Nithyananda. We want to know. Sri Nithyananda, are you in Samadhi again? You just look very blank and expressionless. Oh, I remember what you tell these people, you, Sri Nithyananda, say "I healed the soul." Wow, that seems like a full proof alibi. That's almost as good as your ‘immaculate conception’ story (note: future blog post)... that way, you're never held responsible... and the dead person is never going to bother you... in fact you might be able to enlist them into your service of slavery with a few red chilies and camp fire ritual. Pretty cool. And, the survivors, who just might be flushed with an inheritance, (we know you give lots of attention to the rich donors... because they have more time to be confused, and you pity them, right?...) Anyway, these rich donors just might be willing to write you an even bigger check if you say the right thing... and saying that you healed their soul (after dying) is just the thing. Completely unverifiable... but if the survivors are under your sway, they will just blush thinking that they did the best thing they ever could have done in their lives is to bring their sick loved ones to be blessed with your special ‘healing’ touch right before they croaked. Ah, you're too good for us, Sri Nithyananda.

Tell, me, Sri Nithyananda, since you healed their soul, does that make you a shoe repairman? Oh, that's the wrong type of soul. This soul is as in 'soul mate', and in husband and wife. Wow, what happens when one of your soul mate devotees gets a divorced over you, say like that Sri Nithya Ajara, a.k.a. Arun Prasant? Remember, he's one of your special priests in California that not only divorced his wife because of you, but then went and womanized to make even more divorces. Is it something like the sole of the shoe doesn't fit the foot? So, all these 'souls' need refitting and you heeled, I mean healed them? Sri Nithyananda, when you say healed them, do you really mean 'heeled' them? It seems like these people got a kick from you... but when you have your own priest doing really bad things, you never even think of kicking him out of your order. Why's that? Are your womanizing priests good for business? I mean that priest will draw more willing and gullible ladies closer to your sphere and test them out for you? And, then they all become confused... so they need special guidance from an ‘enlightened’ master, and perhaps some special healing energy? Sri Nithyananda, you're such a marketing stud. If Bernie Madoff had you as a healing master, I bet he'd still be in business enjoying the good life. Don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, I'm sure you'll find some other opportunities like Mr. Madoff.

Sri Nithyananda, let's look at some of your healing record right now. Sri Nithyananda, can you heal gray hairs? Another session of Samadhi? Why look, Sri Nithyananda, two years ago, you really had a bumper crop of gray hairs? Where are all those gray hairs now? Come to think of it, in the last six years, you, Sri Nithyananda, look like you have aged even faster than your incredible banyan tree, but don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, we'll roast you about this in another post. Back to those gray hairs... can you heal them? Do they really matter? Another instant case of Samadhi! Wake up, Sri Nithyananda, and smell the instant coffee. Do you remember that you told some of your swamis to dye their hair back in 2006? I'll help you remember, you, Sri Nithyananda told Sri Nithya Bhaktananda Swami and Sri Nithya Paramananda to dye their hair. That way, they look like youthful studs, and attract the younger crowd... and those younger ladies are much more useful than those older ladies, at least that what it seems like to you, Sri Nithyananda? Now, I know you, Sri Nithyananda, are faking another round of Samadhi. But, honestly, Sri Nithyananda, all those times you gave people your darshan, I never saw any old ladies with gray hair by your side. But, Sri Nithyananda, don't you know, if you surround yourself with all these young ladies and swamis with dyed hair, you are not going to look that young any more. Why in comparison, you are looking more like Jaggi Vasudev of the Isha Foundation. Isn't that one of your rivals? Don't you want to market yourself as a distinction from him? Oh, I get it now; you want to like Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh), for Osho is definitely the model for everything about you. How silly of me to forget. Sorry, Sri Nithyananda, we’re off track again, but please no more Samadhi's.

Back to those gray hairs... so Sri Nithyananda, if you really wanted to, could you just heal your swamis' gray hair? After all, it costs a lot of money to purchase hair dye, and you don't like to have those additional expenses, do you? Oh, you said that you pity all of the people employed at Grecian Formula ® would be out of work if you healed all those gray hairs. How thoughtful of you. I guess this means that workers at Rogaine and Viagra will not be hurting any time soon either. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you are sure thoughtful.

Sri Nithyananda, I guess you are right. Why bother to heal something when you can just get it from a bottle. After all, you don't really want to be wasting all your time with graying, balding, and impotent men. That's not what you came down to this planet to do. Healing young, attractive ladies to overcome their fears of intimacy, now that seems to be much more rewarding. Why that even sounds like one of your trademark slogans, "Just relax and surrender to me, the 'enlightened' master. I'll take care of the rest." I bet you will, Sri Nithyananda.

Sri Nithyananda, are people who are under your special healing energy going to be healed faster? That would make sense? Oh, you say "Yes". Sorry, wrong again. Sri Nithyananda, didn't one of your volunteers in 2007 hurt his arm while installing the big, big, big statues of deities in your Vedic Temple in Montclair, California? Has his arm recovered? Where did you go, Sri Nithyananda? Oh, Samadhi again. We really need to stop this instant Samadhi thing. We understand, Sri Nithyananda that after two years, this person's arm has not recovered at all. This poor guy received at least five healing treatments from you, and now, two years later, the doctors have him on physical therapy. The doctors say that he will never fully recover. Wow, your big, big, big, statues of deities sure do bring people good luck. Break a leg, kid. I’m only joking, Sri Nithyananda.

Hey, Sri Nithyananda, since this guy got hurt while at your temple, can he make a claim against your insurance? (Watch for a future post complete with forms on how to claim injuries including brainwashing that occurred at the Vedic Temple in Montclair, California for you and your loved ones.) Sri Nithyananda, I'm sure you would like to see this person get healed or at least have him shut up and not even hint that you're healing energy is useless?  Is this correct?

Oh, Sri Nithyananda. Did you just pass out? Or is this a real Samadhi? Help! Help! Is there a doctor in the house? Oh, Sri Nithyananda, you look so sick and pale. We'll continue to investigate your healing energies tomorrow, when you are feeling better.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.


  1. Thanks for the new post and continue with more surprising stories.

  2. I think most of the Ashrimites dyes their hair... Bhakananda, Dayamayi, Medhamayi, Paramananda few examples.
    I wonder why Bhaktananda shaves his head? Is there any spirtual significance or he wants to save the cost of Hair dye?. Hey... looks like he got brain washed to shave his head. So that he can save(shave) 1 hr of his time per month can be used (for marketing). WHAT AN IDEA SIRJI :)

  3. And of course, Nithy himself. I doubt his hair magically turned black again. He had more than a few grey strands even in 2005.

    But then the Babaster (sathya Sai) has jet black hair too, and he's what, 80? and so does Sri Sri (although the bald spot at the back's gotta be worrying him). Osho always hid his bald pate under designer beanies, and JK had the most elaborate combover known to man. Wow, are all bigtime gurus insecure about their looks?

  4. Man. This article was under the belt :) awesome..

  5. I remember Nithy mentioned some parents brought a very young child with disability for healing.

    When Nithy tried to give the child healing, the child screamed out "Don't touch me" - in your Indian language that the child couldn't had known. It was the child's *soul* speaking to you, right, Swamiji?

    Your story was that this child (his soul) had chose to take birth with disability so he won't ever need to take care of himself. This soul had selected very kind good parents to take care of it.

    What a story! Swamiji.

    When healing fails, it is because the soul didn't want to be healed. How convenient!

    This story is found in Swami's book Guarantee Solutions.

  6. okay lets believe for once that Nithyananda is indeed healing the soul! How about the soul of your primary care taker, Ms. Nithyananda Gopika. By serving you for past 4-5 years her soul should have definelty healed. With her soul all taken care of her body could benefit from some healing. Why then are you not able to heal her of her severe back problems.

  7. The more I am reading this site its an eye opener.

    This is some real information from insiders. I am glad that someone is doing it.

    Thanks one again Sir. This site URL should be mailed to all Nithyananda devotees so that would make them think.

  8. Hi Anon who suggested emailing the URL to devotees - please do your part by sending this to those you are acquainted, esp the acharyas (their emails on the Life Bliss website) and the ones who brought you into the movement.

    The acharyas and mahaarcharya who recruited me had all escaped - after they saw the truth about Nithyananda. These folks were extended ashramites who surrendered to Nithy. They contributed a lot time and resources to Nithy. The entire satsanga here was disbanded.

  9. Mr. Nithyananda spoke against divorce on many occasions. According to him, the word divorce doesn't exist in classical Sanskrit. He is probably right on this one, but am not sure. Mr. Nithyananda was so adamant against divorce that he said that married disciples may join his ashram only as couples ( or at least with spousal consent). He would never break up a family from what I understood.

    May be Ajara and his brothers are too useful to Mr. Nithyananda as his temple priests. So Ajara is allow to continue to serve as a priest even after divorcing his wife and causing other divorces!

    Ajara was verbally abusive towards my roommate, who was taking puja-acharya training in the first Mission Training in 2007.

    All this incredible details about the current state of the LA Ashram. I am glad that I didn't make it to be an ashramite!

  10. Yes on one hand Nithyananda conducts marriages while on the other breaks them.

    Do you really think Ajara divorced his wife of his own will ?? It would more than befitting to say that Nithyananda brainwashed him into doing so.

    If not divorce, the other way Nithyananda has to seperate couple is to give them the sanyas!
    How many couples came in as ashramites eventually ended up as saffron clad sanyasis.

    But, Nithyananda sure is confused what to do with his swamis. Sometimes their sanyas status is taken away, because He doesnt want to give an impression to outsiders that his foundation is only for sanyasis, but is for common man. And yet again sometimes there's sanyas distribution in the ample just when Nithyananda has to show off to some other organization how many swamis he has ! People in the organization will agree that they have seen many ashramites in sanyas clothes and soon enough in normal clothes.

    sanyas is not a decision taken by person and Nithyanada in accordance with whats best for that person according to his/her spiritual progress but instead is decided based on whats best for the organization!!!!

  11. Nithyananda makes a mockery of Sanyas tradition. He should be tried in the court of Adi Shankara.

    He gives and takes away Sanyas based on demands of the organization.

  12. I remember signing a form exempting the Nithy cult from any liabilities while volunteering for them.

    There was also another from regarding any inventions or discoveries during volunteering belongs to the organzation. This form was required of those doing Mission Training 2007.

  13. All you guys are faceless cowards. If there is any truth in what you say, why dont you reveal your identity and bring up allegations and evidence out in the open. Why do you have to hide behind anonymous screen names of a strictly moderated blog. :) Shows to me cheap tactics.

  14. Om Namah Shivaya,

    Wow, feel the love of blogger 'Blissful'. Nithyananda sure knows how to bring out the good in all of his devotees. Looking at this living testimonial, I think I'm going to sign up for the Life Bliss Program right now.

    Blissful wrote:

    All you guys are faceless cowards.

    Almost correct there, Blissful.

    Let's see... just a few corrections, and we have:

    All you guys are facing cowards.

    Now, that's correct. Or did you intend to say:

    All you guys are saving face for cowards who will be deeply shamed if they get arrested by the FBI, IRS, Immigration authorities if they stick with Sri Nithyananda.

    Now, that's also truthful.

    Now, Blissful, (by the way, your name sound like one of those indentured reindeer destined to heavy labor or one of those dirty little trolls that hanged around that innocent minor, Snow White), where were we, yes, Blissful, you are obviously one of the devotees of Sri Nithyananda. We can tell easily that this is true by the "don't do as we do, do as we say" attitude. Readers, if you recall, Blissful would like us to reveal our identities and called us cheap for monitoring this blog. Well, Blissful, is that your real name? And, if you didn't read it (you can read, can you?), Sri Nithyananda has threatened lawsuits and legal action against us. So, we're not about to help Sri Nithyananda harass us any more than he already has. And, Blissful, have any comments that ever questioned the legitimacy of Sri Nithyananda is his YouTube videos (where he warms over Osho one more time), have these comments ever been deleted by the Life Bliss Admin? Our experience is yes, every time.

    Unlike Sri Nithyanand'as blogs, we'll give pro-Nithyananda comments space on this blog. If you're intelligent and polite, we'll answer in kind. If you write crud or call us names, we'll make fun of you and still expose Sri Nithyananda. In fact, you're our best testimonial of what type of devotee Sri Nithyananda attracts.

    By the way, Blissful and you other pro-Nithyananda monitors, feel free to write specifically what you feel is not truthful, and we'll be glad to show you what we know and how we derived with our conclusions. So, there's the challenge.

    Blissful, thanks for making this blog both informative and entertaining. Best of luck to you.

    Jai Maa.

  15. Here's the critical thing about psychology of belief:

    Believers feel like their physical sense of reality is threatened when you point out the fallacy of their beliefs. It's the same thing which happens when kids tell your child in school, "Santa isn't real". Or when your friends in grade school first tell you, "your daddy got naked with your mommy and put his wee-wee inside hers to make you". Oh, the trauma! :)

    True Believers are willing to go to any extent to sustain those beliefs, even if it requires manipulating their own more rational belief structures which have equipped them to survive in the world.

    So, even in the face of evidence, denial is present. As a believer, one would rather sustain those beliefs by any means necessary, metaphorically burying ones head in the sand like an ostrich, so that they can be proud that their faith is unwavering. I am sure the word du jour being used in discussions about this blog among the true believers is "kutarka".

    But here's the kicker:

    Neither the critics nor the devotees are setting themselves free. Both are enslaved by their need to belong to their own tribe. Both enjoy feeling good, and being right, about their mind-devised cause :)

  16. "If you're intelligent and polite, we'll answer in kind. If you write crud or call us names, we'll make fun of you and still expose Sri Nithyananda."
    Sweet. I haven't seen such a choice for a long time; it's either one or the other.
    My wish to this blog, then, would be to see as many intelligent and polite answers as possible :-)

  17. Well, this is a classical case of you’re being raped! Grow up, Nithyananda. I’m guessing that the people on this blog are jealous of all the others who are on their normal path and who missed a miserable life with Nithyananda. The anger you are expressing is justified against the cult’s Mission. Nithyananda has screwed the life of millions! Too bad you were not lucky enough to escape from him before it was too late. Man do these guys actually take so much time to expose the manipulation of Swami and highlight the difference between what he does and says? Great job, guys. I sure want to get back with you to ensure all of this nonsense stops. I’m forever coming back to this site again and again to post all the daring comments you guys like!


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