God-Fraud, Nithyananda, Denied Entry to the U.S.A. - Visa Canceled

U.S.A. Says "NO!" to Nithyananda and His Cult; Spares U.S. Citizens from Fraud

* * Breaking News * *
We just got word from reliable sources that the U.S. Embassy has canceled 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's U.S. Visa. This is 'officially' unconfirmed, but we'll give confirmation as soon as we receive it.  Confirmed, our information source seems solid that Nithyananda Swami had his U.S. visa canceled a second time.

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Where have you been all this time? Oh, yes, that's right. It is a secret. Some say you've been hiding in Nepal, some say in Tamil Nadu, some say in the VIP section of some professional cricket team where all the cheerleaders hang out. We guess nobody knows for sure except your hairdresser, 'Swami' Nithyananda. We guess that adds to your mystique. But, one place that doesn't seem likely is that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda are hiding in the U.S.A. You know, Sri Nithyananda, there was a rumor that you were hanging out at Gilligan's Island, but that doesn't seem so likely right now. Look, just in:

"U.S. Embassy Cancels Nithyananda's Visa; Places Him on Watch"

'Swami' Nithyananda, we're still waiting for official confirmation, but just the same, ouch!  It looks like it is deja vu  all over again.   But, don't worry there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we're sure you can rally and get a new visa. Remember April 2, 2007 when you had your tourist visa canceled but were able to rally all of your supporters to get you a religious visa? So, you've been through this. Old hat. Oh, no, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we forgot something. This time you don't have any supporters to rally behind you. They all felt cheated and left you. So, this means you're going to have to go to the U.S. Embassy and wait in line just like everyone else. We're sure you'll meet some interesting people in line. Perhaps you might even meet some young attractive students that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, might be able to recruit for future service to your, ah, mission or research department. So, think of this as an opportunity.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, with your great ability to see everything around you, the future, the past, all dimensions, did you see this coming? Ah, we get it now. This is why you had your ashram cleared out, so you wouldn't be stuck with an extra month's rent. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, always had an eye for finances.

So, what's going to happen now, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? You know, all of those hot yoga ladies from L.A. that wear those tight spandex outfits that you were hitting on? Now, it looks like you will have to convince them to come see you in India, that is whenever you set up shop again and sit on your 24(K) gold throne. So, how are you going to convince them to come over to your place? We get it now, you'll have Bhaktananda and Medhananda recruit them for you. Hmmmm. That might not be so optimal for you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You see, Bhaktananda seems to only be able to recruit like-minded hardcore types like professional school bus drivers and retired roller derby ladies. We don't know how happy you'll be with ladies like that. And, Medhananda, with his eye-sight, which you never healed, there's no telling what he'll send your way.  Chances are she will be able to walk and talk, but the rest just might be a guess.   It will be the new Mystery of Mysteries.   Just the same, you might want to check the ID of any ladies that Medhananda recruits for you just to make sure, that they are, ahem, at least 18.

What you need, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, is a real smooth operator who is still loyal to you who could convince people who are still sitting on the fence to jump and fall off a cliff even when these 'fence sitters' can see that it is pure insanity to support you. There's gotta be somebody. Wait! We know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you can get Sri Nithya Niranjananda, a.k.a. coo-coo Mukku. We think that he must have been a lemming in his past life, leading the pack to follow him over to the promised land. Too bad that in this life, he just became a regular old rat.  A rather large one at that.  Oh, well. But, he is a smooth operator. No doubt about that. But, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's still a problem there. Sri Nithya Niranjananda seems to have an inclination of super-sizing everything. You, know, 128 oz. 'Big Gulp', over-sized Ford Taurus, all-you-can-eat buffets, Costco-sized portions, you know, the works with everything on it. So, Sri Nithyananda, you might want to reinforce the furniture in your pad, especially the bed, just as a precaution. We wouldn't want to see you with a broken home, even though you're a proven expert in breaking up other people's homes. No siree. But, just be ready for a really super big surprise.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, kind of a bummer that your visa got canceled. But, don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, a lot of people get their visa denied and placed on watch. We bet Bin Laden, for instance, will never know the joy of riding the Magic Dumbo ride at Disneyland either. Say, 'Swami' Nithyananda, if you're visa has been denied and you've been put on the 'watch list' by the U.S. Government, does that mean your other cronies, sorry, we meant to say other swamis, like Sadhananda (Ayya), Bhaktananda, Atmamaneesha (Mr. Tiwari), Ma Bhaktika, Dheera (Martyn Williams), Ma Bharti, Sachitananda, Sevananda, Pranananda, Gnanananda, Roopananda, Ma Achalananda, Ma Arpana etc. will also be watched and denied entry? Left high and dry. Tsk. Tsk. Pity.

Hey, there, Sri Nithyananda. Don't despair. We know a way out. You need to become a famous rock star with a huge fan base, and then the U.S. Officials will have to let you in. That happens all the time. Let's see, with your singing talents, or lack of, hey, you could start up a punk rock band. Perfect. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda already have that stage presence. But, there is a problem. Punk rockers are known to be a bit rowdy, just like your swamis. But, the problem is that they often fight back. So, if you try to break one of your canes over someone's head, that person just might jump on stage and return the favor in kind. So, unless you're prepared for this, we don't suggest that you break stuff on people's heads any more. But, everything else about you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, is perfect. So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, what shall we call your new band? Hmmm... how about "Nastyananda and the Psycho Swamis" or maybe "Swami Shim Sham and His Wham Bams". Yes, those don't sound so good to us either. Perhaps our reader, [hint, hint] will come up with some really fitting band names for you.

In the meantime, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you need to practice up on some songs so you can get a hit record. Here's a band just perfect for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda. It is an early British punk band called "Sham 69".

Yes, we know that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, could relate with a band named "Sham 69", since both words, "sham" and "69" perfectly describe your operations, to a tee.  Anyway, these fine young men also were once denied entry to the U.S.A. We don't know why. But after some hard work and convincing interviews, they were allowed into the U.S.A. to tour and spread the love and bliss that their music conjures. In fact, they wrote a song about your now shared experience about having their U.S. visa canceled titled "No Entry". What luck, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's a YouTube video with that exact song. So, you'll know exactly how to sing it. Here it is:



and even more luck, here's the lyrics:

They wanted us to go
To New York City
But the man in the embassy
Said, "Oh, what a pity
We don't know things you done in the past
But never mind, son
Have a little puff on the grass"

They didn't want us in the U.S.A.
We didn't wanna go their anyway
They don't want us in the U.S.A., puke

Our manager said to us
"What`s all the fuss"
We said, "We don`t know
But they won`t let us go"
"What did you do to make them do this to you"
"I dunno, Boss"
Carry on puffing the grass

They didn't want us in the U.S.A.
We didn`t wanna go their anyway
They don`t want us in the U.S.A., puke x2

The press all started to ring
Asked what was happening
Our boss said, "I don't know"
But I said, "They won't let us go"
We don`t care what you think of us
This is where we live
Stick America up your arse

OK, 'Swami' Nithyananda, do you think you can sing like that? We can't wait to see the new you in action and back in the U.S.A. Sri Nithyananda, can we have your autograph? Please?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 132: One Hundred and thirty-two days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 154: One hundred and fifty-four days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.