God-Fraud, Nithyananda, Denied Entry to the U.S.A. - Visa Canceled

U.S.A. Says "NO!" to Nithyananda and His Cult; Spares U.S. Citizens from Fraud

* * Breaking News * *
We just got word from reliable sources that the U.S. Embassy has canceled 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's U.S. Visa. This is 'officially' unconfirmed, but we'll give confirmation as soon as we receive it.  Confirmed, our information source seems solid that Nithyananda Swami had his U.S. visa canceled a second time.

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Where have you been all this time? Oh, yes, that's right. It is a secret. Some say you've been hiding in Nepal, some say in Tamil Nadu, some say in the VIP section of some professional cricket team where all the cheerleaders hang out. We guess nobody knows for sure except your hairdresser, 'Swami' Nithyananda. We guess that adds to your mystique. But, one place that doesn't seem likely is that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda are hiding in the U.S.A. You know, Sri Nithyananda, there was a rumor that you were hanging out at Gilligan's Island, but that doesn't seem so likely right now. Look, just in:

"U.S. Embassy Cancels Nithyananda's Visa; Places Him on Watch"

'Swami' Nithyananda, we're still waiting for official confirmation, but just the same, ouch!  It looks like it is deja vu  all over again.   But, don't worry there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we're sure you can rally and get a new visa. Remember April 2, 2007 when you had your tourist visa canceled but were able to rally all of your supporters to get you a religious visa? So, you've been through this. Old hat. Oh, no, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we forgot something. This time you don't have any supporters to rally behind you. They all felt cheated and left you. So, this means you're going to have to go to the U.S. Embassy and wait in line just like everyone else. We're sure you'll meet some interesting people in line. Perhaps you might even meet some young attractive students that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, might be able to recruit for future service to your, ah, mission or research department. So, think of this as an opportunity.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, with your great ability to see everything around you, the future, the past, all dimensions, did you see this coming? Ah, we get it now. This is why you had your ashram cleared out, so you wouldn't be stuck with an extra month's rent. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, always had an eye for finances.

So, what's going to happen now, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? You know, all of those hot yoga ladies from L.A. that wear those tight spandex outfits that you were hitting on? Now, it looks like you will have to convince them to come see you in India, that is whenever you set up shop again and sit on your 24(K) gold throne. So, how are you going to convince them to come over to your place? We get it now, you'll have Bhaktananda and Medhananda recruit them for you. Hmmmm. That might not be so optimal for you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You see, Bhaktananda seems to only be able to recruit like-minded hardcore types like professional school bus drivers and retired roller derby ladies. We don't know how happy you'll be with ladies like that. And, Medhananda, with his eye-sight, which you never healed, there's no telling what he'll send your way.  Chances are she will be able to walk and talk, but the rest just might be a guess.   It will be the new Mystery of Mysteries.   Just the same, you might want to check the ID of any ladies that Medhananda recruits for you just to make sure, that they are, ahem, at least 18.

What you need, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, is a real smooth operator who is still loyal to you who could convince people who are still sitting on the fence to jump and fall off a cliff even when these 'fence sitters' can see that it is pure insanity to support you. There's gotta be somebody. Wait! We know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you can get Sri Nithya Niranjananda, a.k.a. coo-coo Mukku. We think that he must have been a lemming in his past life, leading the pack to follow him over to the promised land. Too bad that in this life, he just became a regular old rat.  A rather large one at that.  Oh, well. But, he is a smooth operator. No doubt about that. But, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's still a problem there. Sri Nithya Niranjananda seems to have an inclination of super-sizing everything. You, know, 128 oz. 'Big Gulp', over-sized Ford Taurus, all-you-can-eat buffets, Costco-sized portions, you know, the works with everything on it. So, Sri Nithyananda, you might want to reinforce the furniture in your pad, especially the bed, just as a precaution. We wouldn't want to see you with a broken home, even though you're a proven expert in breaking up other people's homes. No siree. But, just be ready for a really super big surprise.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, kind of a bummer that your visa got canceled. But, don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, a lot of people get their visa denied and placed on watch. We bet Bin Laden, for instance, will never know the joy of riding the Magic Dumbo ride at Disneyland either. Say, 'Swami' Nithyananda, if you're visa has been denied and you've been put on the 'watch list' by the U.S. Government, does that mean your other cronies, sorry, we meant to say other swamis, like Sadhananda (Ayya), Bhaktananda, Atmamaneesha (Mr. Tiwari), Ma Bhaktika, Dheera (Martyn Williams), Ma Bharti, Sachitananda, Sevananda, Pranananda, Gnanananda, Roopananda, Ma Achalananda, Ma Arpana etc. will also be watched and denied entry? Left high and dry. Tsk. Tsk. Pity.

Hey, there, Sri Nithyananda. Don't despair. We know a way out. You need to become a famous rock star with a huge fan base, and then the U.S. Officials will have to let you in. That happens all the time. Let's see, with your singing talents, or lack of, hey, you could start up a punk rock band. Perfect. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda already have that stage presence. But, there is a problem. Punk rockers are known to be a bit rowdy, just like your swamis. But, the problem is that they often fight back. So, if you try to break one of your canes over someone's head, that person just might jump on stage and return the favor in kind. So, unless you're prepared for this, we don't suggest that you break stuff on people's heads any more. But, everything else about you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, is perfect. So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, what shall we call your new band? Hmmm... how about "Nastyananda and the Psycho Swamis" or maybe "Swami Shim Sham and His Wham Bams". Yes, those don't sound so good to us either. Perhaps our reader, [hint, hint] will come up with some really fitting band names for you.

In the meantime, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you need to practice up on some songs so you can get a hit record. Here's a band just perfect for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda. It is an early British punk band called "Sham 69".

Yes, we know that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, could relate with a band named "Sham 69", since both words, "sham" and "69" perfectly describe your operations, to a tee.  Anyway, these fine young men also were once denied entry to the U.S.A. We don't know why. But after some hard work and convincing interviews, they were allowed into the U.S.A. to tour and spread the love and bliss that their music conjures. In fact, they wrote a song about your now shared experience about having their U.S. visa canceled titled "No Entry". What luck, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's a YouTube video with that exact song. So, you'll know exactly how to sing it. Here it is:



and even more luck, here's the lyrics:

They wanted us to go
To New York City
But the man in the embassy
Said, "Oh, what a pity
We don't know things you done in the past
But never mind, son
Have a little puff on the grass"

They didn't want us in the U.S.A.
We didn't wanna go their anyway
They don't want us in the U.S.A., puke

Our manager said to us
"What`s all the fuss"
We said, "We don`t know
But they won`t let us go"
"What did you do to make them do this to you"
"I dunno, Boss"
Carry on puffing the grass

They didn't want us in the U.S.A.
We didn`t wanna go their anyway
They don`t want us in the U.S.A., puke x2

The press all started to ring
Asked what was happening
Our boss said, "I don't know"
But I said, "They won't let us go"
We don`t care what you think of us
This is where we live
Stick America up your arse

OK, 'Swami' Nithyananda, do you think you can sing like that? We can't wait to see the new you in action and back in the U.S.A. Sri Nithyananda, can we have your autograph? Please?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 132: One Hundred and thirty-two days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 154: One hundred and fifty-four days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Nithyananda Denied Entry to the US and Gets Visa Cancelled

“I’m not here to prove that I’m God; I’m here to show you that I’m a visa beggar.”
Paramahamsa Nithyananda, have you ever been in trouble with the U.S. immigration laws? I know, you will say something like “I’m grounded in Satya (truth) and the Vedic traditions. I just flow through this life with no resistance.” Nice try there, Sri Nithyananda. Do you remember your little mini tour to Canada in late March 2007? Sri Nithyananda! No, you cannot go into samadhi now. I didn’t bring any of those pictures with me. Sri Nithyananda, we just started! Quick. I have to think of something. I know, I will grab my notebook and make a sound of flipping through all the pages. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. (Sound of flipping pages in a notebook.) Sri Nithyananda, I have a stack of new hundred-dollar bills. Listen. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Ah, thanks, there, Sri Nithyananda. I knew you would come out of samadhi. “I never touch money. It means nothing to me.” Thanks, Sri Nithyananda. I know that is the public face you put on, but there’s no one around, so you can behave like you do in private. After all, we have witnesses in 2007 when you held U.S. dollar bills and received hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations as a deposit for the Montclair temple. Boy, did you get excited. “Arrrffffrrrauugh!” Oh, I don’t know that word in Gruntanese, but I imagine that it is not a good thing.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, let’s get back to that Canadian tour of Spring 2007. Remember, you came first to your ashram, in Duarte, California. You, then, lectured and did some cash-collecting program. Then you, Sri Nithyananda, went up to Vancouver, Canada where you did some more lectures and then another cash-collecting program. Then, your next stop was going to be in Seattle, Washington where you were going to give some more lectures and of course, do another cash-collecting program.

However, things didn’t go quite as you planned. On the way back from Vancouver, Canada to the U.S. by car (because you thought you would be able to go ‘under the radar’ through the roadside immigration point), some U.S. Immigration Authority Officer that obviously never did Nithya Dhyaan, wore your mala (rosary) and bracelet, or even watched a YouTube clip of you did the unthinkable. Sri Nithyananda! You’re going into samadhi again. Stop! Stop! Here. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Listen. That is a whole stack of new thousand-dollar bills. Oh, you’re back. That was a close one. Did that government official cancel your U.S. tourist visa? Why Sri Nithyananda? Were you wearing Bermuda shorts, a loud Hawaiian shirt, and some funny sunglasses while in California? But, Sri Nithyananda, even for acting ugly in America, immigration people usually do not cancel tourist reasons for that reason. Oh, it must have been all that cash you were carrying, brochures, books, Nithya malla’s (rosaries), and your website that tipped off the authorities. Sri Nithyananda, do you know that the U.S. authorities know how to surf the web and find things? Perhaps they all bookmarked your site on Delicious. Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, if you are in the U.S. as a tourist, they really want you to spend money and see the scenery... not to make money and cause a scene. I guess you learned that one the hard way.

Sri Nithyananda, do you remember the day that this all happened?  Why it was April 2.  Do you suppose the U.S. Immigration Office extended April Fools Day (which is on April 1st) by one day in your honor?  Looks like the joke was on you, Sri Nithyananda.  Should we celebrate this day?  You know, kind of like a Boston Tea Party Jyanti?

Sri Nithyananda, did the customs person give you the respect of a true Paramahamsa? You, know, did he act bias to you? You know, the same sort of racist stuff you dish out to white people? (Stay tuned for a future post.) Was this part of your karma, you know what you did to all those white people, someone did back to you? I thought that custom’s official acted with prejudice. Wasn’t that a bit blatant, just kind of like the way you, Sri Nithyananda, act towawards others? Why that custom’s official even wrote in your visa “Canceled With Prejudice.” How dare he! Oh, I’m sorry, “Canceled with Prejudice” is a legal term that means not-even-someone-who-thinks-he-has-divinity-in-his-pocket will be able to overturn this ruling. Oh, and, Sri Nithyananda, what was the custom official’s excuse? Because you were here for ‘holy’ business purposes and were not here as a tourist. Sri Nithyananda, you were busted! Get used to it, kid. There will be more times like this ahead.

Wow, that must have come as quite a shock. After all, Sri Nithyananda, you claim that you can do just about anything; you know, being so godly and all. I mean anyone that can do mass ‘enlightenment’ and proudly say that you’re the avatar of Lord Shiva, Lord Krishna, Devi Minakshi, Lord Ayyaapa, Lord Subramaniam, and a host of other deities could surely get a simple entry into the United States? Maybe it was because you were not wearing Bermuda shorts, a loud Hawaiian shirt, and some funny sunglasses. You know, you really should try that sometime. OK, if it’s cold, some blue jeans.

Now, Sri Nithyananda, since you do all these predictions like how my house will be the epicenter of a 2012 disaster and everything, why couldn’t you at least predict that this immigration official was not going to let you in? If you did that, you might have been able to let those poor devotees in Seattle, Washington enough time not to run all of those costly adds with you big picture on them or rent that big over-sized hall. I bet that hall echoed in your empty promise of being there for them. I imagine, Sri Nithyananda, that those devotees had to hang around the hall all night to tell other potential donors that you were on an extended vacation in Canada. Sri Nithyananda, were you skiing or moose spotting in Canada, eh? Sri Nithyananda, if you can’t even get a visa and predict that you would be denied entry, does this mean you will not be able to get me a new bicycle, a skateboard, or a drum set... or even a winning lottery ticket? Sri Nithyananda, am I wasting my time with you?

So tell me, Sri Nithyananda. With all that time on your hands up in Canada, what did you do, eh? Sri Nithyananda, Sri Nithyananda, Sri Nithyananda! Dang, samadhi again. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Listen. This is the sound of new ten-thousand-dollar bills. No response. Fiddle-faddle. OK. I’ll have to do this one from memory. Yes, I remember now. Sri Nithyananda, you had all your big wealthy influential devotees fly up and pamper you. Wow, we have a VHS video of all of this. Let’s see what happen. There you are meeting all of those people. Sri Nithyananda, you sure look worried... you’re barking out orders to all those people... “Call your Congress Representative!” “Contact your Assembly person!” “Your Senator! Call her!”... and so on. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you look like one of those people in the disaster movie that crawls over everyone to be the first out of the sinking ship or something. Sri Nithyananda, do you know how to swim? I didn’t think so. Except in bed, of course. Why you, Sri Nithyananda, were so desperate, you even asked white people to help you. Man, that must have been an all time spiritual low.

Ah, Sri Nithyananda, you’re coming to. Don’t worry, after all that begging, Divinity decided that you were now qualified for a religious visa. You were able to return to your ashram and go on with all your big, big, big plans. And, everyone lived happily ever after. Well, not really. But, you promise a make-believe-world, so it's OK to say that.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.