Warrant Issued for Fraud-God, Nithyananda, Sachit's Last Stand & Investor's Club

It's Official, Slammer Time for Sex Swami, Nithyananda, Fugitive from the Law - Warrant Issued for His Arrest - Plus Updates on Cult's Unsavory Fraud
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. What's new? We don't care about your latest YouTube video, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. It's morning here in the United States, and we need to wake up. In fact, we think that you might need to wake up too, 'Swami' Nithyananda, and smell the coffee grinds. Hey, look, just in.

FLASH NEWS: CONFIRMED, ARREST WARRANT ISSUED FOR NITHYANANDA

Look, Sri Nithyananda, here's the full article on our favorite (not your favorite) newspaper, the Deccan Herald. 

Warrant Against Nithyananda

Gee, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you sure made Chandan Nandi, the reporter for the Deccan Herald, one busy man. He probably doesn't get to see his family because of you. But, that's nothing new.

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we're still getting all the details, but looks like an arrest warrant was issued against you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, for failing to appear in a court in Sriperumbudur near Chennai, Tamil Nadu. Oh, oh, Sri Nithyananda, does this mean that the Tamil Nadu Police will now have to execute the warrant? And, does this mean that the Tamil Nadu Police can go after you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and arrest you? And, does this mean that the Tamil Nadu Police can drag your smelly tush and produce it along with the rest of you before the court of law to hear the cheating case against you? 'Swami' Nithyananda, does this mean that the Tamil Nadu Police can cross the state borders to look for you? And, does this mean that the Tamil Nadu Police do not have to wait for some very slow moving Chief Minister of Karnataka who seems to be sitting on his hands and just go and nab you? Perhaps now there will be a little momentum for other states to rush and file arrest warrants against you. Gee, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, this could become like an Easter Egg hunt. Are you still hiding in Nepal? Then, this could be come an international Easter Egg hunt, perhaps for one rotten egg.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, do you remember how you used to wear the holy saffron cloth and then change into some really wild outfits. Back and forth. What ever you felt like wearing, you wore. The same went for your Swamis. If it suited them to be in white, they wore white. If it suited them to be in jeans, they wore jeans. That sanyasi tradition was really just like another skin to be added to the chameleon collection. And, yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you proved that wearing holy saffron is a real turn on to some ladies, it works better than spandex. But, if things keep on going as they are going, we're sure that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will be wearing only saffron for years to come and nothing else. Hey, look, 'Swami' Nithyananda, here's a picture of your new holy uniform now:

'Swami' Nithyananda, this arrest warrant seems like very bad news. Will we still be seeing a bunch of new YouTube videos featuring that sick little giggle of yours? Just think, Sri Nithyananda, now there will be a whole new list palms you will need to grease, and just a little dab of your snake oil is not going to do it. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will need some serious cash. But, don't worry, there, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we bet that your criminal, criminal lawyer will be happy to add the additional new business that you'll be giving him. Just a tip from us, be sure to pay him first. Looks like you'll be needing his services for some time to come.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, what are you going to do about this? Looks like your cash cow in Los Angeles has laid an egg and is closed. Where are you going to find the money to get you out of this? Oh, it's confirmed that you sent out your Public Relations Expert, Sri sometimes-Swami 'Stonewall' Sachitananda, a.k.a. Siva Vallabhaneni, to the rescue. Wasn't that the same person that released that video of himself leisurely leaning back and telling how blissful life was at your ashram the day after parts of it were burned down? Looks like Sachitananda is trying to corral all the fence-sitting donors and wrestle control of your now-closed temple in Los Angeles. Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you sure are giving Sachitananda a real challenge. Imagine what it's like for him to say that Swami will take care, and this is just a test to see who really is deserving of your 'enlightenment' and your 'grace' while news flashes race across the satellite TV and websites stating that a warrant is out for the arrest of now fugitive 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda for failing to manifest himself in court after offending religious sentiments and carrying out unsavory acts while wearing holy saffron cloth. It's going to take a team effort to get these donors to part with any of their cash now. Better get that smooth operator, coo-coo Muku, a.k.a. Sri Nithya Niranjananda, to help massage their money right our their wallets.

Hey, we have an idea, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Since you already robbed the dignity from all your room service ladies, and since you thoroughly brainwashed them to do anything in the name of service to you, and since the temple is officially closed to the public, and since we know there's already a big, king size mattress in your designated 'office' quarters that probably already is showing a bit of wear and tear... Oh, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we really can't suggest that. No, siree. We don't know where that idea came from... hmmm.... maybe that came from observing you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda at that Hindu Temple in Norwalk in March 2007 where you had one of our contributors stay outside your door and guard it. Were those some pranayama breathing exercises you were doing there along with your room service lady? Sorry, we digress. There must be a better way to make some quick cash and besides, that would make the criminal case against you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, even more severe. Sorry, it was just a thought that crept into our minds. But, just the same, you're not trying to raise money that way, are you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda?

Here's a better idea, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We think you must have had an 'investors' club going. No, not the legitimate business that one of your swamis who was known for dignity and honesty (of course, he's already left you and your cult), but you know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that informal 'investors' club' that we're just getting wind of now. Perhaps instead of 'donations' some of your big, big, investors, oops, we meant to say 'donors' along with many of your ashramites poured in a bunch of cash, perhaps maybe their entire savings, because you, Sri Nithyananda, promised them a financial return on all this cash you were scooping up. Maybe this was the 'seed' money and once their were trees, then they could all eat the fruits from those trees. Is that what you, 'Swami' Nithyananda promised them? Somehow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we're getting a flashback of the story of Adam and Eve, but we can't figure out who is playing the role of the snake. There's just too many suspects. But, our idea, 'Swami' Nithyananda, if there indeed was an investor's club, perhaps you can tell them the only way they will get their money back is if they pour even more money into your hopeless money pit. We know, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that these folks are already gullible. And, they are already known to give you, Sri Nithyananda, money. So, these 'donors' just might believe this new story and open up their checkbooks and write you just enough cash to get you out of this minor inconvenience. And, if your 'investors', oops, we meant to say, 'donors' seem to hesitate, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, can have them sign a ten-page contract (sound familiar?) to assure them that those who invest, oops, we meant to say 'donate' now will get a special darshan (blessings) done by 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, the Healing Swami and now Fugitive of the Law. Perhaps you can pull together a whole little packet of 'energized' goodies, like a special mala (rosary), some sandals from Wal*Mart that were worn by the Master himself (that's you, Mr. Holy man but just remember to have Sachit take the price tag off first), and other trinkets that you couldn't give away just like the packets you put together for your Healer's Initiation. And, if these 'donors' still hesitate, you can add an addendum to your contract that says that if in the 'impossible' case that the Life Bliss Foundation (or what ever of the many Foundation names you plan to use) tanks, then those that 'donate' now will be the first to get their cash back before all the creditors and law suits claim all of the assets. Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you already know you have to play hardball when making holy business deals.

The Life Bliss Investor's Club Demonstrates the Ancient Mystery of Nithyananda's Pyramid Power

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if there was an 'investors' club, then that just might explain why there is still so much loyalty to you form people who we know otherwise would have had the smarts to get out from you long ago. This explains why Sri Nithyananda Niranjananda, a true family man, would still be out trying to support you and why he is trying to get others to pour even more cash into a scheme that is proving to be a loser. But, poor guy (no pun intended), if he continues this downward spiral, he might end up in the same boat that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are in. How will he be able to explain that to his son? Kind of a drag if he gets put into a federal prison and then only gets to see his family through security gate. We really hope that this doesn't happen to him or even to Sri Sachitananda or even Bhaktananda. These swamis are actually really good people, we just wished they started to use their brains and a little common sense. Let's wish them luck, Sri Nithyananda... Sri Nithyananda? Are you still there? Sri Nithyananda! That's not the Tamil Police!... That's just some Boy Scots asking us to buy tickets for their raffel. We'll tell them that you already gave at the office, and you can come out from under the bed now. Gee, that bed has been the center of so much trouble. Maybe 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you can start a YouTube lecture about the how beds add bad karma to people's lives and how true devotees who don't want bad karma should sleep in phone booths. Sorry, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we can see you didn't like that idea, but honestly, it isn't much better than your current batch of YouTube videos.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 134: One Hundred and thirty-four days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 156: One hundred and fifty-six days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Edited "Unedited" Press Conference Video - Nithyananda' Cult Stonewalls, Stalls & Denies His Sex Crimes & Fraud

'Swami' Nithyananda Hints of Red Herring Conspiracy Theory as He Plays the Victim; Fraud Still Exposed
Hey there, Sri Nithyananda.  You're really making your true followers really work overtime.  Is defending the indefensible a new type of tapas (penance)?  Did you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda promise your cult followers that they would be departed into an 'enlightened' plain if they can maintain your innocence?  We think, Sri Nithyananda, that they will be deported into next aeroplane and the rest will go off in some big paddy wagon. And, we think, Sri Nithyananda, that you've really fallen off your wagon.  And, why 'Swami' Nithyananda, even have this press conference?  Was it just another delay tactic?  You, Sri Nithyananda, raise the expectations that questions will be answered and that clarity will be given.  All we got was more of the same.  "Nope, cannot comment on that."  "Wait till Swami comes back." "We're still getting facts."  "This is not clear."  "Cannot comment on speculation."... You, know, Sri Nithyananda, we think there should be a new name for your spokesperson, the sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda, and that is, sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda.  You know, Sri Nithyananda, he really does make a good stonewall.  Rock solid. But, here, let's just keep to the facts. Let us all, Sri Nithyananda, watch this 'unedited' press release together, shall we?:



Wow, Sri Nithyananda, the first thing that we would like to ask you is this really an 'unedited' unedited press release? The reason we ask is that just as that reporter begins to ask the tough questions like is that porn star in the video you or not? if you, Sri Nithyananda knew in advance that this video would be aired?, and if there was some 'black mail' was involved?, precisely at 42:35 (on YouTube) and at 14:47:43 (on your video log), there's a skip of 17 seconds. And magically at 42:36 (on YouTube) now displays on your video count at 14:48:00. Was this another example of your time continuum miracle? In those 17 seconds as we, Sri Nithyananda, were suspended in another dimension, what exactly happened? Did the cameras catch sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda picking his nose? We imagine that something really embarrassing happened, (like right, as if we haven't already seen something real embarrassing with you before), and you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, keeper of Truth, and firm encourager of Truth (as mentions @27:40 YouTube) decided that portion should be edited out. But, why, 'Swami' Nithyananda? Why now an 'edited' 'unedited' Press Conference? Are you, Sri Nithyananda, trying to project to be something that you are not?

Well 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we hate to tell you this, but this censorship makes your credibility even lower. We really thought there was no where lower you could go, but some how you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, managed. Perhaps this is proof that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, really are 'enlightened' after all. We mean, that lowering into the lowest must have taken some special siddhi (magic power) to go that low.  Are you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, and your cult now anti-matter? And, once again, Sri Nithyananda, the parallels with the Watergate scandal and edited tapes is eerily the same. Are you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda an incarnation of Richard M. Nixon, a.k.a. Tricky Dick?

So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we see that there seems to be a shift in your shifty strategy. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda first declared that the video involved 'graphics' and 'morphing'. We would agree that your video, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, was very graphic and involved morphine. 'Swami' Nithyananda, what were the pills again for? But, now, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you seem to do your best to discredit our hero, Swami Dharmananda a.k.a. Lenin Karuppan, and claim that he didn't even finish the twelfth grade and had financial motives to 'blackmail' you (@20:02 YouTube). Perhaps, 'Swami' Nithyananda, he was not a super motivated genius as you were and finished the polytechnic school in Gudiyattam at the tender age of fifteen.

And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, why wasn't Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda able to answer the simple question of when you attended the Gudiyattam Polytechnic? Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda seems quite flustered. Is it right to put your close followers through such torture? Anyway, sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda said that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will answer all of these questions when you emerge, (translates, after everybody has been bought off with bribes with hush-hush money, then we'll see your tired face again. For now, we just have to look forward to more of your terrorist-quality YouTube videos of self-denial and deceit.)

And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we also detected another shift in your shifty strategy. Before you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, claimed that you were out somewhere in Kumbh Mela doing some 'holy' work with other like-minded saddhus (renunciate monks). Now, sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda is claiming that you're a no-show because of safety and security issues. Sri Nithyananda, we think that if you're in a jail some place with armed guards that you will then be very safe and secure.  The sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda said that they are really worried (enlightened?) about your security (@16:02 YouTube).  Actually, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we think he almost said it correctly.  They are really worried about your securities and other assets.  Won't they be confiscated?  And, as any good foot soldier, sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda is willing to take the blame and say that 'Swami' (that's you) really wants to be here, but it is us (sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda and cult cronies) that are concerned about his (your) security.  Hey, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you've done a really great job of brainwashing some followers with advanced education.  Was that the reason for the parade early in your 'Edited' 'Unedited' Press Conference of ladies with degrees?

And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, forgive us if we're wrong, but didn't you once say that if someone was upset with you, that you are also at fault because your actions created some conflict that caused the other person to get upset? And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, didn't you also go on to say that since you are an 'enlightened' healing master, that you were so 'light' that you would not cause any conflict at all? Well, 'Swami' Nithyananda, can you then explain why is it that there's people burning your image in effigy? Are they reenacting your supernatural 'enlightenment' energy?

And, Sri Nithyananda, why do you claim that just two weeks ago there were already mentions of your hanky panky by some blogs, like ours perhaps (@18:13 YouTube)? Remember how sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda kept on saying that this was a conspiracy carried out with "laser like surgical precision" (@18:05 YouTube), that you implied involved a whole team, not a single lone ranger.

"Do you feel that an operation of this magnitude, which has been conducted with such precision is the work of a single, dissatisfied individual?" (@18:55 YouTube)

Oh, we get it now, Sri Nithyananda.  Besides stalling, stonewalling, posturing, playing victim, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, now want to get the press to start investigating a red herring 'conspiracy theory' that all the people in the world that you screwed over are now acting as one to return the favor.  Nice try.

Hey, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, just want to remind you that stories about your 'divine' date rapes didn't just crop up two weeks ago. 'Swami' Nithyananda, sorry if we seem boastful, because we really don't like to imitate your behavior, but we did post the information about your room service ladies staying for hours and hours sometimes up to 3:00 a.m. alone in your private quarters in your Los Angeles ashram way back on Saturday, October 31, 2009 with our blog post titled:

"Nithyananda Private Life is Very Different Than His Public Life
Nithyananda, Now That’s Entertainment! What's It Like to have a Cult Following?"

Here 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, here is our direct quote:

"With all those channels to select from your satellite TV dish, I wonder how you get any conversation in? Nithyananda, may I ask what you talk about when the attractive ladies bring your meal and stay in your quarters for sometimes four to five hours? You must chew your food very slowly. Perhaps you were getting nourishment, but I think you might have gotten dinner and a show. We know someone who has seen all these ladies come and go in your quarters, and if ever called to testify in court, under penalty of perjury, this witness would name all of those ladies. You’re quite a stud for an enlightened renunciate."

'Swami' Nithyananda, was this two weeks lapse just another time continuum phenomena? Perhaps it was just two weeks ago for another planet's lunar system. Sri Nithyananda, what planet are you really from? And, are you not a bit loony to expect us to believe all your stories?

But, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we do have some questions to ask you. About ten days prior to your famous blue video airing on YouTube, which made you a porn star, we noticed that you dismantled your Perpendicular Universe Blog, which we had loads of fun ridiculing with this blog entry:

Nithyananda Creates a Perpendicular Universe Blog
Nithyananda Tries to Bend Vedic Truths a Sharp Left Turn

Basically, that blog was your feeble attempt to claim that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda were the caretaker of Vedic culture. So, Sri Nithyananda, why did you dismantle the Perpendicular Universe Blog at least a whole week before the scandal broke, still you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, claimed that you did not know about this video until after it aired?

Another one of those little discrepancies, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that we happened to notice is that your right-hand man, first ashramite, Sri Nithya Sadhananda Swami, a.k.a. Ayya, cut his visit short in the U.S. to quickly go back to India. Five days after his last advertised event, the scandal broke. So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, keeper and encourager of 'Truths', can we really believe you didn't know about this video and that is was going to be aired on TV?

As if there wasn't enough proof already, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that you knew that video was going to bite your turban on TV, there was that very convenient samadhi that you went into during the NSP (brainwashing in disguise of a meditation) program starting on Thursday, February 26 on through the weekend.  A witness said on March 1, 2010, that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, were in samadhi for six days.  In fact, you, Sri Nithyananda, actually refunded everyone's money, or at least you told everyone you would.  But, since you have to pay for all those gold thrones and getting money is built into your system, we knew you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, wouldn't let an opportunity to pass up on all that cash.  And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you didn't disappoint us.  Other witnesses said they only got the run-around when they tried to get their money back.  Very consistent.  Appear to be honest so you can make any claims to the outside world, but still milk them for everything they're worth.  For the record, our witness said that you came out of your 'convenient' samadhi for the Kalpataru darshan after NSP.  So, Mr. Holy-man, was this a real samadhi or was this a Sear's samadhi?  Yeah, we already know.  We just want you, 'Swami' Nithyananda to know that we know too.

And, before we forget, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we want to say that we were honored with your recognition when you tried to discredit the information about your timeline revelations by having one of your chief acharyas (teachers), Swami Sri Nithya Gnanananda Maharaj, whisper to the sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda, as "blog information" (@25:25 YouTube). But, that inquisitive reporter kept on mentioning the true source of the Rajapoly Polytechnic website. Poor sometimes-Swami Sri 'Stonewall' Sachitananda just looked like a deer in front of headlights.

'Swami' Nithyananda, all it seemed like sometime-Swami Sri Sachitananda could do is just deny and delay, and of course appear to be as transparent as one of your ghosts. Sorry, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you failed again.  And, did all of these allegations make Swami Sri Nithya Gnanananda Maharaj's hair straighten and sytled? Oh, frightening. He now kind of looks like one of your room service ladies.  Does he now shave his legs too?  And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda with all of your 'godly' power, why did your video not play at the right time?  Was that delay intentional?

Finally, we had an anonymous comment that summed up a lot of our points.  Thank you, readers:

Monday, March 8, 2010 2:47 AM
Anonymous  said...

Here are a few things everyone should consider after this latest press conference:

1) Now they are neither confirming nor denying the tape? Nithyananda and his ashram have been continuously saying that the images were "morphed" by Lenin and are "graphics".

2) In this conference this guy said that Lenin didnt even get through 12th grade. So now are they saying that he is not intelligent enough to "morph" the video? They are flip flopping so badly that they are destroying their own credibility.

3) It seemed that this statement was also written using similar misdirection as Nithyananda does in his speeches. If you noticed, Sachitanana was trying to disprove the other accusations in order to disprove the video.. notice how he constantly goes back to those other accusations and the unacceptable "facts" he has given.

4) Regarding the death accusation, the 58 yr old Canadian's death is still suspicious because he fell out of a second story of a building! Its funny how Sachitananda could easily skim over that fact. Notice how Sachitananda called to attention his family's coronary heart disease history, when it has no relevance to his death. Also, obviously a post mortem report will show he fell a far distance to his death.. the mysterious question is how did he fall and what legitimate investigation did the police conduct afterwards. India is known for easily paying off police directly after an incident. That is what Lenin was referring to as mysterious.

5) Sachitananda again was using improper comparison to his brahmacharinis when he spoke of the 23 yr old alleged rape victim. Because his closest female ashramites showed their face in front of a camera, was he was implying that a traumatized rape victim should also be able to do the same? Nowhere in the world does a alleged rape victim like to be identified to the public. Also in most rape cases there is no solid evidence... if the ashram is denying a clear video of Nithyananda, you can imagine how they will treat anyone else who comes forward, especially in India. If Nithyananda has done this before I hope more people will come out just to add impact and force the justice system to act, since legally it will almost be impossible prosecute with the massive amount of secrecy and control in the organization. If you have listened to Nithyananda speak, you may have heard him repeatedly speak about how the logic of a legal system can go against showing the actual truth.. its ironic how now the organization is now hiding behind the law to avoid obvious truths.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 92: Ninety-two days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 114: One hundred and fourteen days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.