A Birthday Bash or Bashing?: Nithyananda's Fairy Tales through the Mirror of Truth
Hi there Sri Nithyananda. Happy belated jayanti (birthday). Is this the right day to celebrate your birthday?
We know that you advertise January 1, 1978, but we also seen your passport document that says March 13, 1977. So, perhaps we're a few months early, not late. Yes, figuring out your birthday is a mystery of mysteries if you ask us. Perhaps we should just celebrate your 'enlightenment' day, that too lands on January 1, 2000. How convenient. We can watch football and then head down to nearest Life Bliss Center and hear some real creative stories, just like the one that 'gotta' away1. So, we'll save the jayanti / birthday celebrations for another time.
Hey, Sri Nithyananda, did you know that Existence must have decided to celebrate your jayanti / birthday, we mean 'enlightenment' bash with a special gift? We mean that since you launched the Parallel Universe Blog and the Perpendicular Universe Blog, it seems that you've been blessed with a Mirror Universe of Truth Website. "What!?!" Yes, you heard us right, there, Sri Nithyananda. This is a Mirror Universe of Truth Website. It is not like those mirror universes in Star Trek. This Mirror Universe of Truth Website reflects not what you want the world to believe, but it tells the Truth. "Gribba Gribba!" Oh, we see. Our gruntanese translator said that we might be put into a orbit around some distant universe if we're not careful.
Before, you, Sri Nithyananda, get too upset, let's just place that Mirror Universe of Truth Website out in the open so everyone can see:
nithyatales.webs.com (Will be back soon!)OK, Sri Nithyananda, we'll try to explain this concept to you as carefully as we can. See, a mirror reflects things as they are. A mirror doesn't bother what 'angle' to cast things, what kind of 'light' it needs to shed on the subject, it just reflects. A mirror is not interested in how much money someone has, what sort of value can they add to build someone's empire, or even what type of service this person would give while, ahem, delivering food to your personal quarters late at night. A mirror just simply reflects the Truth. It doesn't bother about worldly matters.
Sri Nithyananda, do you remember that fairy tale story about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Yes, that was a fairy tale that Walt Disney made famous in an animated cartoon. In that fairy tale, there was also this power-hungry old queen that had a big thing about looking youthful and the hottest thing in her kingdom. Does this sound sort of familiar there, Sri Nithyananda? "I am NOT a queen!" Oh, really, Sri Nithyananda? Do you remember the time that you dressed up in a silk sari in Mother's Day 2005 for all of the participants in acharya (teacher) training in Krishnalaya, California? Wow, you were sure a big hit with the ladies. Now we always suspected that you, Sri Nithyananda, wanted to crawl into a silk sari, but we never dreamed that you would actually wear one. Sri Nithyananda, do you remember how you gave a piece of your sari to all the ladies there, but what we really think they wanted was a piece of... perhaps we should write that here. Anyway, they really fell for that that you were just beyond all this he-she thing. Some of the guys at the training program thought that perhaps you, Sri Nithyananda, had become the embodiment of a he-she thing. Oh, well, different perspectives.
And, do you remember, Sri Nithyananda, the Inner Awakening (IA) program in Bidadi, when you came out sporting all of the 24K golden accessories, you know, like earrings and other girlie stuff? Wow, that was quite some theatrics there, Sri Nithyananda. You even wiggled a little. It was kind of nice to see that you enjoyed all of that 24K gold, even if it was fetishly so. And, you did this all under the cover of being 'Devi' (Divine Goddess). Wow, Sri Nithyananda. After witnessing that, someone might think that you've turned into an imposter. A female imposter, that is. Why you even threatened everyone after your vampish 'Devi Darshan' antics with 'bad karma' unless they 'promise not to tell'. You remember, Sri Nithyananda, you made it as if it was 'our little secret'. Was this part of karmic law? Sri Nithyananda, we think that it might fit under Megan's Law. Come to think of it, Sri Nithyananda, threatening people not to tell the Truth with bad karma is a bit of drag. In your case, you dressed it in drag. It's still a drag, though. Back to that queen.
Yes, that queen in the fairy tale Snow White had this magical mirror that would tell the Truth about how she was looking old and middle aged. As you can probably relate, the queen wasn't too happy about this. But, what to do? That was the Truth. Hey, Sri Nithyananda, speaking about getting around that middle-aged thing, you know, if you told people that you were not born in 1978, but instead you were born in 1948, then all of your worldly devotees who identify with you as being a material body would think that you really are 'enlightened'. They would say something like, "He looks like he's just in his forties, but really he is in his sixties! He must be 'enlightened'." And, that's all the proof you would need to convince them to donate whatever you need to your empire. We suppose that it might be difficult to go back and restate your birthday, but it's just an idea. After all, you were fairly convincing when you reduced your wandering from nine (9) years to just six (6) years. Even though that still didn't make sense.
Maybe you could still pull it off and say that you had a 'divine re-vision'. Sorry, we digress. In the same way that queen in the fairy tale had a magical mirror that reflected the Truth, you, Sri Nithyananda, now have a new website that also reflects the Truth, you know, the stuff you don't want to hear, but you need to hear, just kind of like the stuff in this blog. And, in that mirror of Truth, the Mirror Universe of Truth Website to be exact, reflects all of your fairy tales perfectly, as they are, as fairy tales.
In this new website, the Truth about all of your fairy tales is presented up front and isn't cluttered with lots of details or jokes that your brainwashed devotees never think are funny. By the way, does seriousness block the agna chakra (third-eye center)? Just a thought, for all of those who don't have time to meditate. Anyway, your devotees can now get the Truth about your fairy tales up front and one clean interface. They no longer have to navigate through all of the blog entries, and they can see your most famous and illogical fairy tales as a one-stop-shop. Just think how easy it will be for your devotees to email other devotees and say that these Truths about your fairy tales are just not true. Why, with a little effort and just the right words, they could stop all the Truths about your fairy tales in just one shot. Will you, Sri Nithyananda, let them give it a try?
One of the great Truths that this website reveals clearly is your Never Never Land fairy tale of your time line. This Mirror Universe of Truth Website illustrates in a graphic visual that you have reached the magical youthfulness of fantasy that even that fairy tale character, Peter Pan, would be jealous of. Here, take a look:
Yes, Sri Nithyananda, this image is small and distorted, unlike the image of yourself, which is huge and distorted. There's a difference, you know. If you want to see a clear vision of what your fairy tale of a timetable looks like, you need to go directly to the Fairy Tales of Paramahamsa Nithyananda website to see this beautiful graphic in its full size. (Note, that once you are on this site, you need to click on the image to see the full image.) And, as an extra bonus, the webmaster of that site created an image of what a 'normal' person might experience if he or she had the same events as you, Sri Nithyananda, described in your autobiography. Either way, Sri Nithyananda, the Truth becomes crystal clear and your Fairy Tales become more entertaining. We're sure that there are children around the world who will quickly fall asleep during bedtime once your fairy tales are narrated to them. This will make your fairy tales actually useful. You, Sri Nithyananda, should be happy about that.
Click Here! to get a closer look of modern fairy tale of an 'enlightened' master looks like in the Mirror Universe of Truth Website:
nithyatales.webs.com (will be back soon!)Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, we have to go. But, we do want to wish you a very happy belated birthday, and many more.... Truths that is.
1 note: "the one that got away" is often said after 'fishing' trips, where the fish that got away was very big, but there was no proof the fisherman ever came close to catching it.)
- For the Love of Money, Nithyananda and His 24K Golden Opportunities
- Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up
- Backpedaling Keeper of Revised 'Truths', Nithyananda, Required to Embellish His Story (Again)
- Nithyananda Starts a New Parallel Universe Blog = Fantasy Land
- Nithyananda Creates a Perpendicular Universe Blog