The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

Tip: Mouseover any slide to pause it. (Yeah, it loads slow, but it's worth it.)

Nithyananda's Criminal Trial Starts December 3, 2014. On July 2, 2012, a U.S. Federal Court found the Nithyananda Foundation guilty of Fraud with damages of $1,565,000 U.S.D. Peaceful Spirituality or Blood Thirsty Cult? Nithyananda's supporters are willing to die for his crimes. The untimely death of a Canadian citizen in Nithyananda's ashram.  An accident or murder? Nithyananda is not who he seems to be. Behind the scenes, Nithyananda's smile is quite different. Some like it spicy. Nithyananda is known to offer chilies, human hair, and marijuana seeds in his midnight fire rituals. Nithyananda the 'renunciant' was caught money laundering over $6,000,000 USD into his personal bank account. Nithyananda managed several hedge funds while in the U.S. on a religious visa. Spiritual practice? Tantric techniques? Or just plain sleaze? Sex Swami Nithyananda: Self-Idolizing and Cross-dressing Nithyananda's Healing: This won't hurt a bit. Your Soul is now mine; brainwashed and devoted to me. Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977?

Nithyananda Witness Program: Report Nithyananda's Crime to Keep Society Safe & Dharmic

End Nithyananda's Rape! Stop Nithyananda from Committing Sex Crimes Against Children, Women & Men!

Make a difference! Dismantle Nithyananda's cult! We had Nithyananda in jail before. And, he almost got away scot free with murder, rape, sex with minors, fraud, violence, and other heinous crimes unspeakable, e.g. Nithyananda's Sex Contract. Don't let Nithyananda get away a second time. Don't let Nithyananda have another chance to ruin lives. If you're a victim of any of Nithyananda's crimes, report these crimes committed by Nithyananda and/or his criminal followers to the CID Police Team in India. Your information and identity will be kept confidential.
Direct Phone to CID Police: Tel: (011 91) 80-22381894 | (011 91) 80-22942602

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(we will honor your privacy & confidentiality)
Thank you for helping to convict Nithyananda and preventing others from becoming victims of Nithyananda's horrendous crimes against humanity.
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Latest News Headlines of Nithyananda's Fraud

Read the latest news headlines of Nithyananda's fraud, cult practices, and legal updates here:
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All donations go toward the legal defense and offense to STOP the unsavory and fraudulent practices of Nithyananda and his cult. And, yes, we will share your donation with our partner against Nithyananda's crimes, Sri Lenin Karuppan, better well known as Dharmananda, a.k.a. Hanuman 3.0. Thanks for your help!!!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Nithyananda Falling Fast from Fallout from Ram Rahim Singh Rape Conviction

Will the Rape Conviction against the X-King of Bling, Ram Rahim Singh Bring Sex Swami Nithyananda Down? Timing Couldn't be Better.
Jai Salami with Cheese, Cheese, Cheese Nithyananda Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Pardon our rye sense of humor there, we know that you, Oh Great Bologna of fake news and slick websites, Nithyananda, are just full of bologna. Processed cold cuts from parts we don't want to think about. Yes, you're right at home. So, how's your master plan to get out of the rape charges going? Rrrraha! Rrrraha! Rrraha! Hmm, are Gruntanese translator says that Rahu, a demon in astrology is strong in your chart now. Is that correct? Yeah, we weren't surprised at all.

Gee, Sex Swami Nithyananda, you were right on track too. For our readers' sake, that you had some motions in front of the Supreme Court in India that were slated to be heard on July 17, 2017. Five minutes into the hearing, your best attorneys that money can buy, kind of like the O.J. Simpson Dream Team, requested a one-month stay. The Supreme Court granted it, and the next court date was to be heard on August 17, 2017. So, why a one-month delay? Of course, the presiding judge, Honorable Dipak Misra has signaled that he is on to your legal trickery and instead of rubber stamping all those thick and pricey documents that your legal team has prepared, he actually had the nerve to question the validity of God Incarne, Nithyananda's motives. Wow, this could be trouble. Why didn't you ask for a two-year delay? That might have saved you, Oh Grate One, Nithyananda, the embarrassment of an unenlightened ruling or worse yet, sanctions and punitive damages - like your bail being revoked. Yikes!

As you, the Avatar of Legal Tar, Nithyananda, know Honorable Dipak Misra will be sworn in as Chief Justice today, August 28, 2017. What a brilliant strategic move! Parmesan Nithyananda, you're a genius. We get it. Just game the system and stall for delays, and soon Honorable Judge Dipak Misra will be elevated into the top position, and then he certainly won't have time for the day-to-day rulings that his juniors will now make for him. In comes a fresh and inexperienced judge into your case, and it almost will be a cinch to get the favorable ruling that you, Oh Godman of Ethics, Nithyananda, believe that you're entitled to as a world-renown spiritual huckster. Of course, we know that you already sent the new judge a couple of barely worn t-shirts from Disneyland. We're sure that he will appreciate these and will look upon your case with a fresh beginning.

Sex Swami, Nithyananda, this pretty darn good news. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, oh, Sex Swami Nithyananda, what is this here?

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh in exercise garb.
All pumped up and no where to go except prison... for the next 20 years.

Hey, baby.  Wanna get lucky?  X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet)
Ram Rahim Singh tries to impress the beach bunnies.

The bigger the bike, the smaller the ego?
X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh is no longer
a big wheel in the (un)holy godman business

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet)
Ram Rahim Singh Action Figure heading straight to prison for the next
20 years. Dig that head-cape and pajama set. But, sorry, no more blow(ing up)
jobs as pictured in the background.

Don't look now, Mr. Nithyananda, but it is one of your rivals, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh! He's just been convicted of rape last Friday, August 25, 2017, and was sentenced today, Monday, August 28, 2017 for twenty years! Say, wasn't last Friday the same day of Ganesh Chaturthi? The Divine Deity that removes obstacles? Looks like the obstacles for his conviction were removed all right. Yikes! This might be very dangerous. Sri Nithyananda, you better do your homework on this one. Let's look at the original complaint letter that started Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh's downfall that led to a twenty-year prison sentence. Shall we?

Shri Atal Behari Vajpayee,
Prime Minister
New Delhi

I am a girl hailing from Punjab State. I have been serving as a 'Sadhwi' in 'Dera Sacha Sauda', Sirsa (Haryana) for the last five years. Beside me, there are hundreds of others girl here, who serve for 18 hours daily.

But we are sexually exploited here. The 'Dera Maharaj' Gurmeet Singh rapes the girls in the 'dera'. I am a graduate. My family has blind faith in the 'Maharaj' (Gurmeet Singh). It was at my family's bidding that I became a 'Sadhwi'. Two years after I became a 'Sadhwi', a special woman-disciple of Maharaj Gurmeet Singh came to me one night at 10' o' clock and said that the Maharaj had summoned me to his room. I felt elated that Maharaj himself sent for me. I was going to him for the first time. After climbing the stairs, when I went into his room, I saw that he was holding a remote in his hand and was watching a blue film on the TV. Beside his pillow on the bed, lay a revolver. Seeing all this, I was frightened and became nervous. I had never imagined that Maharaj was a man of this type. Maharaj switched off the TV and seated me beside him. He offered me water and said that he had called me because he considered me very close to him. This was my first experience.

Maharaj took me in his embrace and said that he loved me from the core of his heart. He also said that he wanted to make love with me. He told me that at the time of becoming his disciple, I had dedicated my wealth, body and soul to him and he had accepted my offering. When I objected, he said, "There is no doubt that I am God." When I asked if God also indulges in such acts, he shot back:

1. Sri Krishna too was God and he had 360 'gopis' (milkmaids) with whom he enacted 'Prem lila' (love drama). Even then people regarded him as God. So, there is nothing to be surprised at it.

2. I can kill you with this revolver and bury you here. The members of your family are my devoted followers and they have blind faith in me. You know it very well that members of your family cannot go against me.

3. I have considerable influence with governments also. Chief Ministers of Punjab and Haryana and central Ministers come to pay obeisance to me. Politicians take help from us. They cannot take any action against me. We will get the members of your family dismissed from govt. jobs and I will get them killed by my 'Sewadars' (servants). We will leave no evidence of their murder. You know that earlier also we got the 'dera' Manager Fakir Chand killed by goondas. His murder remains untraced till this day. The 'dera' has a daily income of one crore rupees with which we can buy leaders, police and the judges.

After this, the Maharaj raped me. The Maharaj has been doing this with me for the last three years. My turn comes after every 25-30 days. Now I have learnt that before me too, the Maharaj had been raping the girls he had summoned. Most of these women are now 35 to 40 years old and they are past the age of marriage. They have no other option but to remain in the 'dera'.

Most of the girls are educated --- B.A., M.A., B.Ed, etc. But they are living a life of hell in the 'dera', simply because the members of their families have blind faith in the Maharaj. We wear white clothes, tie a scarf on the head, cannot even look at men and as per Maharaj's commands, and talk with men from a distance of 5-10 feet. To the people we look like 'devis' (goddesses), but we are living like harlots. This time I tried to tell my family that all was not well at the 'dera'. But they rebuked me saying that there was no better place than the 'dera' for here they were in the company of God (Maharaj). They said that I had formed a bad notion about the 'dera' and that I should recite the name of 'Satguru'. I am helpless here because I have to obey every command of the Maharaj. No girl is permitted to talk with another, according to the commands of the Maharaj.

Girls are not permitted to talk to their families even on the telephone. If any girl talks about the reality of the 'dera', she is punished according to Maharaj's commands. Sometimes ago, a Bhatinda girl revealed the wrong doings of the Maharaj. At this, all the women disciples gave her a sound thrashing. Because of a fracture in the backbone, she is now bed-ridden. Her father gave up the service in the 'dera' and went home. For fear of the Maharaj and his own disgrace, he is not revealing anything.

Similarly, a Kurukshetra girl has also left the 'dera' and has gone home. When she narrated the events in the 'dera' to her family, her brother who worked in the 'dera' gave up his job. When a Sangrur girl left the 'dera', went home and narrated the wrong-doings in the 'dera' to the people, the dera's armed Sewadars/ hooligans reached the girl's house and threatened to kill her and warned her not to leak anything about the 'dera'.

Similarly, girls from Mansa, Ferozepur, Patiala and Ludhiana districts are afraid of revealing anything about the 'dera'. Although they have left the 'dera', yet they do not say anything for fear of loosing their lives. Similarly, girls from Sirsa, Hissar, Fatehabad, Hanuman Garh and Meerutdisclose as to what happened to them in the 'dera'.

If I reveal my name, I and my family will be killed. I want to reveal this truth for the benefit of the common man, because I cannot bear all this tension and harassment. My life is in danger. If a probe is conducted by the press or some government agency, 40 to 50 girls living in the 'dera' will come forward to reveal the truth. We can also be medically examined to find out whether we are still celibate disciples or not. If we are no longer virgins, the matter should be gone into to find out who has violated our chastity.

The truth will then come out that Maharaj Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh of 'Sacha Sauda' has ruined our lives.

The GURU enjoyed 7 star life style and Bangkok type sex life All with the money donated by poor devotes.

Sharma Narendra

Yours faithfully

An innocent forced to live life in a hell (Dera Sacha Sauda Sirsa)

as published in The Times of India on 25 August 2017 and Daily Sikh Updates Post on Facebook August 25, 2017

And, now, X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh, has a life behind bars. No, Sex Swami Nithyananda, not a life at the bar. That's all in his past. Now Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh is just prisoner 1997 at the Rohtak Jail. (Read Story here.)

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh gets to see the fruits
of his spiritual karma for the next 20 years. Rot in prison. We hope
that you enjoy your stay.

At least the authorities allowed X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh to go out in style. Look, he got airlifted to prison on a helicopter. Gets to smoke a cigar on the way. Perhaps this isn't going to set a good example to all the kiddies, will it Sri Nithyananda? You, oh humble one, will certainly be allowed to be dragged off to prison in a donkey cart. And, with any luck, you'll be the one pulling it.

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh off to sing sing in style.
Smoking a stogie and in a charter hell-icopter, while his followers riot below.

"Planting trees in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won..."
Sticking twigs into little holes and then getting them wet to produce,
ah shrubbery. A familiar skill set now applied to X-King of Bling Gurmeet
(Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh's new purpose in life for the next 20 years.
Toil. Toil. Will this be Sex Swami Nithyananda's fate?

A pity. But, that's what happens when you are a fake godman and not a genuine real McCoy Avatar of God Incarnate, as you, Sri Nithyananda, claim to be. But, don't worry. We're certain the world will see the difference between you, Master of Sexy Tantra and X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh, won't they?

Oh, dear, what's this here, Sri Nithyananda? Is this the recent news about you, Oh Grate One?:
And, then for the next couple of days later....
Dratz! It looks like the media already tarred you, Oh Great Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, with the same brush. Tainted! What are you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, going to do? Shall we brainstorm some answers? Why of course.

Let's not panic here, Sri Nithyananda. After all, the big decision is with the Supreme Court of India. And, the Supreme Court of India is only going to review the legal papers that are before it. Nothing else. Or at least we hope that nothing else will be considered into its decision. OK, better hold a lucky rabbit's foot, Sex Swami Nithyananda, and pray to God (perhaps to you?) that nothing is going to influence the decision. After all, the Supreme Court is an independent body and no one should be able to sway its decision. Even if the Prime Minister of India wanted you, Salami Nithyananda, run over by a truck, and then dropped into some pulverize machine that grinds you up into a million pieces and then mixed in with a variety of different animal manure to make fertilizer, it just ain't going to happen. No siree. At least we hope that this will not be the case. It shouldn't, we think. Perhaps.

But, even if the Supreme Court is not going to be influenced that much by Ram Rahim Singh Rape Conviction, we do have a problem with the general population of rich and gullible seekers that you, Master of Embodiment of Knowledge (master of em-body-mints), Nithyananda, are trying to lure to keep your legal team paid and a steady slush fund ready just for emergencies. Hey, Sex Swami Nithyananda, why don't you build a super slick and snazzy website that feeds all kinds of misinformation? You, Salamander Nithyananda, can keep all your goons focused on flooding social media comments and Twitter tweets with a link to this site that goes beyond logic in such a pretty way? Oh, cool, you have one already? Let's take a look:
(Warning: goes to sex swami's website - two condoms required)
Cool. OK, let's focus on the difference between you, Mr. Holy Roller, Nithyananda, and X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh. This should be easy. First off, Bling Bing Ram Rahim's case started in 2002. Yup. At this rate, you, Sex Swami Nithyananda, have another eight years of freedom to hone in and practice your deep tantric meditations with your room service ladies (and a few boys). So, no worries at all. There's still plenty of time to prove your innocence. Perhaps.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, another stark contrast between you and X-bling bing is that Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh played the Krishna card in seeking his sensual pleasures. His logic is that Krishna danced and had hundreds of ready-to-please gopi girlfriends. But, X-bling bing forgot that Lord Krishna had all his dancing at age of four when He was still very innocent. And, before He turned five, Lord Krishna was sent to a gurukul, (a real, gurukul (school), unlike the so-called spiritual pickpocket school that you run, Mr. Nithyananda, and there Lord Krishna started his formal studies. You, on the other hand, did play the Krishna card a couple of times. Yup, it is just too easy. But, mostly, your true-and-tried pickup line is that you are the best Kal Bhairav imitator on YouTube. And, then you, Oh Grate One, like to say that you're Lord Shiva. Dig those tiger prints wrapped titightlyround your beer gut. And, to seal the deal, you tell your victims that they are incarnation of Parvati (Lord Shiva's wife), and so it is only nature to have holy sex with you right then and there. If those 'come-on' lines didn't work, then you said that how difficult it is for a Living Master to stay in his body and that by having sex it will help keep you within your own body and therefore will be able to charge thousands of wealthy spiritual seekers $10,000 a pop for enlightenment if the victim is willing to help with this noble cause and have sex with you. And, a revolver by your side? Never, you Porkananda Nithyananda, are a master of brainwashing and using dark siddhis. No need for a revolver. But, just in case, you have an army of thugs who have killed at least two people (to our recollection) in your ashram. These 'enforcers' will do your bidding. No need to get your holy hands, Sex Swami Nithyananda, dirty with that. Your hands need to stay clean for other dirty adventures such as chakra touching, and other bed sport activities.

Another clear distinction between you two is the political clout that X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh claims to have. Yes, Sex Swami Nithyananda. At one time, you too, were courting the Chief Minster of Karnataka to be the guest of honor to your birthday bash on March 13, ooops, we meant January first, but after your downfall, the Chief Minister of Karnataka, D. V. Sadananda Gowda, had you, the Divine Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, arrested and jailed twice in June 2012. Ouch. Right now, all you can get is dignitaries like the (alleged) King of Plagiarism, Rajiv Malhotra, come and pay (or you pay) tribute for the privilege of his presence. By, the way, Sri Nithyananda, how much do you pay Mr. Rajiv Malhotra for those low grade independent investigation/research papers? Priceless. Hey, Sex Swami Nithyananda, if you want more political clout, why don't you invite Mr. Trump?

And, I said, "Hi" like the spider to the fly....
President Smoothy Donald Trump turns on his predator charm and eyes another
acquisition opportunity.  "Nice assets.  And, did you know that I'm
enlightened courtesy of Sex Swami Nithyananda? I have a certificate
right here to prove my super spiritual prowess. Allow me to demonstrate
my ability to move your coconuts with just my mind."

Trump's approval ratings are about as low as yours, and he will even stoop as low as you, well almost; and you both like to collect ladies! Perhaps he can trade beauty pageant queens for room service ladies. Sounds fair to us.

And, if President Trump is too busy, then why don't you, Oh Great Smoocher, Nithyananda, invite X-President Clinton? Slick Willie (sorry, Brits) has time on his hands (when they are not around another lady). You two will hit off, we're sure! He's up for anything, even your standards, Oh Great Tarzan Imitator, Nithyananda. And, Slick Willie Clinton certainly knows how to survive and stay in office even when the odds are totally against him. Did you, God Incarne, Nithyananda, give him your enlightenment? There's just no other way.

Hands-on tantric lessons from Sex Swami Nithyananda?  Count me in!  Ex-president
Clinton demonstrates that even with nothing to do that he manages to still
keep busy.

Mr. Nithyananda, we can go on and on about the differences between you, Salami Nithyananda and X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh. But, we'll leave that to your legion of internet trolls. It's late, and we're tired. But, if everything else aside, at least you, Sex Swami Nithyananda, can now rightfully grab that title of King of Bling. You, Oh Humble Servant of the Financial Market, Nithyananda, still sit on multiple golden thrones? Still sport lots of gold bling and extended all those pricey charms on your turban to hold your extra swollen head? So, stop feeling depressed. There's a real opportunity for you. Go for it!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Sex Swami Nithyananda's Supreme Court Hearing on Aug 17, 2017, Back to Jail?

An Update (December 3, 2017): Second try. After many false starts, the Supreme Court of India's online website posted a tentative schedule stating that the matter regarding Nithyananda Swami's motions would be heard on Tuesday, December 5, 2017. And, yes, the hearing date is scheduled at 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday, December 5, 2017.

In November 2017, the Madras (Chennai) High Court gave Ranjitha and Sri Nithya Atmaprabhananda the stay (delay) that the sought. Those two criminals were losing the case, and just as it was about to get thrown out, they filed a motion with 'new' (after eight years) evidence based on more lies. But, their case will become moot (irrelevant) if Mr. Nithyananda's trial proceeds and he is found guilty. Meanwhile, the Delhi Forensic Criminal Science Lab declared that it was Ranjitha and Nithyananda in the sleaze videos. This blows a HUGE hole (no pun intended) into the alleged allegations that Ranjitha and others have filed to harass Aarti and Lenin. As soon as we know more details, we will post it here. Thanks for your patience. Stay tuned.

Will the Supreme Court Send Nithyananda Back to Jail? Nail Biting Time
Jai Parmesan Cheese, Cheese, Cheese Nithyananda Salami Key Jail!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. No one has finished us off yet; is every thing OK? Are your devotees, oh, degrading one, doing their job? Mrehh, Mrehh, Mrehh! Gee, you, Center of the Cosmic Cesspool, Nithyananda, don't need to get touchy. Yeah, we get it. Running a cult for a bunch of angry and frustrated people isn't easy. We have to hand it to you for your superb job of keeping them all distracted while extracting all of their wealth. Brilliant!

We were just admiring pictures of you, Oh Great god of Crocodile Smiles, Nithyananda, on the day that should all bring us great joy, Guru Poornima, July 9, 2017. Quite frankly, your smile seemed a little more forced and faked than it usually looks. Your eyes, oh great one, were glazed over into a different zone, much like a snake's before mating. Were you in samadhi? Reminiscing about Ranjitha? Or was it something else? Well, shucks, if you were not so enlightened, then we swear that it looked like you, Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, were worried sick.
See it now: Sex Swami Nithyananda Looks Worried on Guru Purnima 2017
(Warning: goes to sex swami's website - condom required)

Gee, Sex Swami Nithyananda, you were not worried about the Supreme Court date that was to be held on July 17, 2017 just eight days after Guru Poornima? Of course not. Why you, Self-proclaimed Creator of the Universe and Divine Keeper of Thugs, have nothing to worry about. This is all the lela (divine play) that you created in order to instruct your slavish followers to take down blogs, comments, lives, everything from people who just don't get it and don't see you as the Divine Master of the Cosmos. We have to admit, that your ploy, Sex Swami Nithyananda, sure works when it comes time to raise more money to fund your legal team. Why, Oh Great One, you really can squeeze water out of rocks or at least from people who are as dumb as a sack of rocks. Good one!

But, what's all the fuss about just one court date? You, Salamander Nithyananda, have figured out how to game the system. Just file defamation cases in as many courts as you possibly can, then intentionally send the summons to the wrong address. Give a Disneyland t-shirts to the local judge. And, voila! You, Master of Deceit, Nithyananda, have CULTivated a handful of arrest warrants against anyone who speaks out against you. Just like a modern day Duryodhana, you can shoot these arrows to anyone who gets in the way. Brillant. Just like you, Oh Master of the Legal System, Nithyananda, did to your old protagonist and whistleblower Lenin just a few days ago when he appeared in court to another (false) case against him and then got arrested for another false case that he didn't know even existed.
Read the Story: Sex Swami Nithyananda Gets Bengaluru Police to Whisk Whistleblower from Court
That will make sure that no one leaks another private video of you, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, sharing your ancient tantric sleaze online again. Done!

So, once again, there's nothing to worry about the next Supreme Court case hearing that will be on this Thursday, August 17, 2017? Right? Most likely, your attorneys will ask for a stay for another month, and then everyone will have to come back next month. Repeat. And, you, Great Gamer of Legal Action Nithyananda, will tell all your sycophants (for Nithyananda should be spelled as psychophants) "How do you keep a bunch of morons in deep, deep, deep suspense?" And, they will all be staring at you, Parmesan Nithyananda, in deep, deep, deep suspense waiting for your divine answer. Guaranteed. Do you remember, Pornohamsa Nithyananda, how you thought of this strategy and revealed it to your ashramites in L.A. on or around November 2006? Then, you hatched this plot against "yellow journalism". But why just yellow? You, Salami Nithyananda, have a way to make everyone turn green, just like All Green Muckateering, a one-stop shop for low-grade content. But, we digress.

So, what's at stake at the Supreme Court? You, Swami Nithyananda, have the dream-team of lawyers, so you will certainly win. Oh, you All Compassionate One Nithyananda, want to have all the medical records and all the information about all the (allege) victims that have come out and accuse you of rape and other crimes. You, Keeper of Fairness Nithyananda, won't use that information to harass, intimidate, or even kill these poor (alleged) victims? Of course not! You, Oh Degrading One Nithyananda, just want to heal them and send them in the right direction, right? (But, you'll leave it to your thugs to finish them off.)
Read the News: Nithyananda Criminal RAPE Case: Supreme Court to Hear Final Arguments on July 17 (now delayed until August 17, 2017)
Oh, no, Sri Nithyananda. We have a concern. What if the Supreme Court justices have been doing independent research and stumbled upon that Guruphiliac Blog and Guruphiliac on Facebook! Ouch! Their minds just might be swayed into denying your legal motions. And, get this, Great Goopru Nithyananda, what if the Supreme Court justices are followers of your arch rival Sri Sri Ravi Shankar? After all, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is everything that you claim to be. It will be like the battle of the Titans! You both battle over the same marketing segment of gullible new age spiritual seekers that are easily influenced to do your bidding and have at least $10,000 USD of disposable money that will be quickly separated. Extra bonus if they are hot and sexy or have a spouse that is hot and sexy. Perfect! But, if these judges are followers of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, then they might have it out for you! Watch out!

Hmmm. This could be tricky, Salami Nithyananda. But, really, what's the worst thing that these Supreme Court judges could do? We think that they can only deny your motions. That's all. At least that's all that is in front of them, right?

But, what if these judges get frisky? Sex Swami Nithyananda, could these judges revoke your bail privileges with prejudice? Would that mean that you are heading back to prison until the trial starts? At this rate, it could be 2033 before the trial starts. You, Porkananda Nithyananda, will be old and fat(ter). The victims? They will die of old age. Is that what you, Mr. Nithyananda, were trying to do? Certainly you, Oh Grate One, would never do the cowardly thing and try to hide behind a bunch of loopholes as you search for your personal loose holes. Never! But, what if your bail is revoked? Will you be able to appeal an order from the Supreme Court? Of course, you own and then rent out the cosmic court of law, but will the Supreme Court abide to do that? Would that get you out of jail and allow you to pick up another $2,000,000 USD from just 200 Innerawakening participants? Now we are just about as worried as you are, Master of the Unclutch Technique Nithyananda!

Everyone who walks through these doors brings joy.
Some as they walk in.
Some as they walk out.
And, some as they return.

Sex Swami Nithyananda gets his daily walk when he's let out of his crate.

Did they at least provide a bowl of water?

Shutting the door tightly to make sure that the jailbird doesn't fly the coop.

Loose shoes and a nice warm place to think about tantric practices.

We don't like the looks of this, Sri Nithyananda. If you are in jail again, then what are we going to do? Who will we spend our time and all our money? We suppose that we could do crossword puzzels. But, crossword puzzles just don't have the same effect as blogging about all your heavenly sent divine virtues. Those puzzles stimulate our brain, which is something we're not used to after following your teaching. Look, we're trying one right now. Sri Nithyananda, what's another name for 'Paramahamsa Nithyananda' and has eight letters, begins with a 'D' has 'CH' in the middle and ends with a 'G'? Really, we don't know. Is it dachshunddog? No, that has 12 letters. Sorry, we don't know what came of us to think of about you as a dachshund dog. No resemblence at all!

And, what if, Sri Nithyananda, if the Supreme Court does more! What if the Supreme Court freezes all your assets and bank accounts? Horrible! And, what if it establishes an aggressive corruption probe that is led by the CBI? Devastating! And, what if the Supreme Court demands that your manlihood tests be completed? Stiffed! And, what if the Supreme Court sets irrevocable trial dates for your rape case? Stuck! And, what if it seals off your ashram like the Chief Minister of Karnataka did in 2012? Deadly! What will all your ashramites do?

Look out! Nithya Zombies with no place to go and time on their hands.

After all, Sri Nithyananda, your ashramites have been sleep deprived and have either been sexed deprived or oversexed; (you call it tantra and experimenting). But, really the only doing activities they do all day are things like pada poojas with their little tin kits all day, when they aren't trolling the internet for anything negative about you, Oh Great One, and getting it deleted and then harassing anyone who posted such scandalous material. Well, they could get a job as Trump supporters. So, there's a chance. And, other skills such as swinging around a pole in their skivvies just might get them employment at certain locations. So, there's not without a glimmer of hope. But, on the most part, it isn't looking good. What will we do, Parmesan Nithyananda?

Stay tuned until Thursday.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Self-promoting Avatar, Nithyananda, Gets, a Sarcastic Slap on YouTube

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Hey, we hope that you don't mind, but we really want our viewers to see this video. So, we put it up front above the fold. Don't worry, it's the same video and the post remains exactly the same right below the video. Enjoy!

Is Sex Swami Nithyananda a Cult or Not? Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady Spills the Beans

Nithyananda, a bonafide super-powered vending machine.
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Well, this is hard to explain why we haven't posted anything anytime soon. But, all those legal intimidations from so many of your followers. After forking over $10,000 USD and gaining your instant enlightenment complete with a graveyard initiation, do they also get a law degree? Wwwrrreeevvaa. Wwwrrreeevvaa. Wwwrrreeevvaa. Our gruntanese is a bit rusty, but we believe you said that all the judges in King County, Washington, should be replaced with Magic Eight Balls. Not a bad choice, there, considering the quality of judgments that come out of that place (like Vinay's wrongful conviction that was based on hearsay and lies). Is there something in the water there? Oh, they all dropped by your new and improved city center on the outer-outskirts of Seattle; Issaquah, Washington, to be exact. Based on the behavior of your followers, perhaps Sasquatch, Washington would be a more fitting place. Tell, us, now that it takes over an hour to negotiate a journey to this center spiritual bliss retreat deep far away from where anyone lives (except Big Foot), can more than two people enter at a time? Just asking. It looks kind of small to host all of your millions of followers. And, yes, we remember back when you once had your North American HQ in Durate, California, that you liked your room service ladies to come in one at a time, but on special occasions, you had a twosome going. Those must have been quite some spiritual encounters. We couldn't imagine. Will this down-sized shack reminds us when you, Salamander Nithyananda, used to shack up nightly.

While we have your attention there, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, we just wanted to say how appalled we were to see more defaming videos against the Avatar of Tar, self-proclaimed God in-carne, His Royal Highnass, and the best Kalbhairav and Maha Kali impersonator on YouTube, be ridiculed by some unenlightened chap who was obviously is on the payroll for Tesco. Look! He shamelessly promotes its Cream Bisquits. Crumby indeed. Do you serve those for afternoon snacks during Living Enlightenment? Now, don't tell us that sugar is bad. We all remember how you stuffed your face with Fig Newtons in Krishnalaya in Northern California in 2005 during your acharaya training. Gee, SwineJi Nithyananda, you sure packed on the pounds there. Perhaps you better lay off the Fig Newtons until you slim down and get rid of that pot belly of yours. Are you pregnant? You, Oh, DeGrading One, Nithyananda, might have to start wrapping with two sarees (not that you already do this. wink. wink.) And, who knows, You just might get Type 2 Diabetes. Everything is so sweet about you, Mr. Nithyananda. Will you, great Eeler, Nithyananda, be able to heal yourself? Obviously, you're not able to do tantric by yourself. Ranjitha, Queen of the bottoms-up belly dances, will testify to that.

Fig Newtons.  Once a favorite munchie of the holy renunciant, Porkananda Nithyananda.

Well, this guy who never was dragged into the graveyard after midnight for that final initiation into the wonderful enriching world of enlightenment that is only valid at your ashram and city centers had some choice words for you. He said, get this, that you're a super-power vending machine. How false! Anyone knows that vending machines require coins, and at $10,000 USD a pop, that would be just too many coins to insert. Those gullible hands would be too tired to do all the lifting and massaging and check writing, etc. if they had to insert a never ending stream of coins And, how about all those slots that vending machines have for coins? Why everyone knows that you, Mr. Nithyanaanda, are the one who is inserting things into slots. Not the other way around. Totally backwards. So it is proven that you, Coinmaster Nithyananda, are not a vending machine by any means.

And, you know what, Piggiesananda Nithyananda, he had the odosity to say that the hand moves before the coconut! Can you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, imagine that? Well, of course, your now famous videos with Ranjitha clarified that your hands always move before the coconuts. Let's keep it to coconuts and keep clam shells off the menus.

And, this guy doesn't stop there. He has the nerve to make fun of your number one showcase room service lady (second only to Ranjitha). Yes, this is none other than Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda, who we refer to fondly as Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady. (You, Oh Great Pornomahamsa, Nithyananda, you might call her super make out lady, but we'll for the next round of videos to get released.) Oh, here's a picture of Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda now. At least we think that's her.

But, what's behind the mask? Sorry we ever asked.

Well, gee, it might be her. It's hard to tell with all that makeup on. Sri Nithyananda, how much does it cost to pay for all that makeup that Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda cakes on every day? Does she use a trowel? Does a nominal portion of the $10,000 USD a-pop-fees go to help replenish her makeup fund? Does all that swatic food help cleanse her face at night after packing a quarter inch of powered goop on? Is she trying to hide something like some pimples? Whiskers? Namo scars? Soulless soul (size 13)? Quite frankly, Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady looks like Vampira to us. Frightening.

Not all the screaming happens just during tantric sessions.
Just ask Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady, Swaroopapriyananda.

Yikes! Well, this unenlightened guy has the nerve to say that Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda is so open that her brains have fallen out. Gee. Everyone knows that you, Living Avatar, Nithyananda, demand that every participant must leave their minds behind along with their sandals at the door. So, of course, Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda is mindless, along with anyone else that has been through your programs. It's a fact. And, all that makeup ensures that nothing will get out. It's bullet proof! So, her brains will stay firmly in place until a power washer with bleach is applied. Then, and only then there's a chance that her brains might slip out. But, no worries, there Sex Swami Nithyananda. This next fat lady who is covered with tattoos, (a.k.a. Ma Nithya Devi Oman / Mahayogini Nithya Mahayogananda) will be sure to spit her brains back out. A safety net. Guaranteed.

And, Sex Swami Nithyananda, how many aliases does Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady have? Let's count them, but we might have to take off our shoes to get them all. But, don't worry, there, Sri Nithyananda, we'll leave our shoes at the door along with our mind. It's the way that you like things. OK, let's' count. First, there's Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda complete with her own Facebook account. Nice. But, wait, there's also Mahant Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda, which deserves its own second Facebook page. Salami Nithyananda, does that make her two-faced? Really, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady packs enough makeup for ten faces. Kind of like Dasara Ravana's little sister. Is she part of your family, Salamander Nithyananda? But, wait there's more. In Google+ and YouTube, she spells her name with a 'U' as in U-boat, a.k.a. Ma Nithya Swarupapriyananda. Hmmmm, Sex Swami Nithyananda, did Ma Nithya Pancake Lady graduate from your Gurukul? Just asking. But, we're not finished. Let's see, an earlier incarnation of Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady as Ma Nithya Sudevi. And, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady started off, unenlightened we assume, as Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry. That's quite a transformation. Did you know, Sri Nithyananda, that Sarah Stephanie Landry (and all her aliases) once sent us a death threat? Yup, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady promised that our heads would be cut off (by presumably you, Oh Great One) in six months. That was over five years ago. A little late, we presume, but we're still waiting. Is that how you, Mr. Nithyananda, give your devotees instant enlightenment, and make them mindless entities? How nice of of both of you. Doesn't Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady remind you of those 'sexy' spiders that lures victims into your cult web and then she bites their heads off? Nasty, indeed, but a perfect fit for your business operations. How many heads has she personally collected? Can she give one of them away in a raffle to the highest bidder? Just asking.

Ma Nithya Swarupapriyananda helps lure fresh victims into Sex Swami Nithyananda's cult web
where they await a deadly kiss and their minds to be chopped off and left dangling for eternity.

But, let us say no more, Sex Swami Nithyananda. Here! This is the offending video:

Cult or Not? Man-god Worshiper Explains How She is Not in a Cult

So, Divine Avatar of All Things, Nithyananda, what are you going to do? Make it go away. Please. This will definitely impact your marketing initiatives. It also will adversely impact your ability to pay for all your attorneys at the Supreme Court hearings regarding your rape case. Paying for these professional services to an avatar like you will not come easily if there's a significant loss of revenue. So, please! For Humanity! Make it go away!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.