The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

The Nithyananda Dog and Pony Show

Tip: Mouseover any slide to pause it. (Yeah, it loads slow, but it's worth it.)

Nithyananda's Criminal Trial Starts December 3, 2014. On July 2, 2012, a U.S. Federal Court found the Nithyananda Foundation guilty of Fraud with damages of $1,565,000 U.S.D. Peaceful Spirituality or Blood Thirsty Cult? Nithyananda's supporters are willing to die for his crimes. The untimely death of a Canadian citizen in Nithyananda's ashram.  An accident or murder? Nithyananda is not who he seems to be. Behind the scenes, Nithyananda's smile is quite different. Some like it spicy. Nithyananda is known to offer chilies, human hair, and marijuana seeds in his midnight fire rituals. Nithyananda the 'renunciant' was caught money laundering over $6,000,000 USD into his personal bank account. Nithyananda managed several hedge funds while in the U.S. on a religious visa. Spiritual practice? Tantric techniques? Or just plain sleaze? Sex Swami Nithyananda: Self-Idolizing and Cross-dressing Nithyananda's Healing: This won't hurt a bit. Your Soul is now mine; brainwashed and devoted to me. Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977? Nithyananda: Born on January 1, 1978 or March 13, 1977?

Nithyananda Witness Program: Report Nithyananda's Crime to Keep Society Safe & Dharmic

End Nithyananda's Rape! Stop Nithyananda from Committing Sex Crimes Against Children, Women & Men!

Make a difference! Dismantle Nithyananda's cult! We had Nithyananda in jail before. And, he almost got away scot free with murder, rape, sex with minors, fraud, violence, and other heinous crimes unspeakable, e.g. Nithyananda's Sex Contract. Don't let Nithyananda get away a second time. Don't let Nithyananda have another chance to ruin lives. If you're a victim of any of Nithyananda's crimes, report these crimes committed by Nithyananda and/or his criminal followers to the CID Police Team in India. Your information and identity will be kept confidential.
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Thank you for helping to convict Nithyananda and preventing others from becoming victims of Nithyananda's horrendous crimes against humanity.
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Latest News Headlines of Nithyananda's Fraud

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All donations go toward the legal defense and offense to STOP the unsavory and fraudulent practices of Nithyananda and his cult. And, yes, we will share your donation with our partner against Nithyananda's crimes, Sri Lenin Karuppan, better well known as Dharmananda, a.k.a. Hanuman 3.0. Thanks for your help!!!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Nithyananda Falling Fast from Fallout from Ram Rahim Singh Rape Conviction

Will the Rape Conviction against the X-King of Bling, Ram Rahim Singh Bring Sex Swami Nithyananda Down? Timing Couldn't be Better.
Jai Salami with Cheese, Cheese, Cheese Nithyananda Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Pardon our rye sense of humor there, we know that you, Oh Great Bologna of fake news and slick websites, Nithyananda, are just full of bologna. Processed cold cuts from parts we don't want to think about. Yes, you're right at home. So, how's your master plan to get out of the rape charges going? Rrrraha! Rrrraha! Rrraha! Hmm, are Gruntanese translator says that Rahu, a demon in astrology is strong in your chart now. Is that correct? Yeah, we weren't surprised at all.

Gee, Sex Swami Nithyananda, you were right on track too. For our readers' sake, that you had some motions in front of the Supreme Court in India that were slated to be heard on July 17, 2017. Five minutes into the hearing, your best attorneys that money can buy, kind of like the O.J. Simpson Dream Team, requested a one-month stay. The Supreme Court granted it, and the next court date was to be heard on August 17, 2017. So, why a one-month delay? Of course, the presiding judge, Honorable Dipak Misra has signaled that he is on to your legal trickery and instead of rubber stamping all those thick and pricey documents that your legal team has prepared, he actually had the nerve to question the validity of God Incarne, Nithyananda's motives. Wow, this could be trouble. Why didn't you ask for a two-year delay? That might have saved you, Oh Grate One, Nithyananda, the embarrassment of an unenlightened ruling or worse yet, sanctions and punitive damages - like your bail being revoked. Yikes!

As you, the Avatar of Legal Tar, Nithyananda, know Honorable Dipak Misra will be sworn in as Chief Justice today, August 28, 2017. What a brilliant strategic move! Parmesan Nithyananda, you're a genius. We get it. Just game the system and stall for delays, and soon Honorable Judge Dipak Misra will be elevated into the top position, and then he certainly won't have time for the day-to-day rulings that his juniors will now make for him. In comes a fresh and inexperienced judge into your case, and it almost will be a cinch to get the favorable ruling that you, Oh Godman of Ethics, Nithyananda, believe that you're entitled to as a world-renown spiritual huckster. Of course, we know that you already sent the new judge a couple of barely worn t-shirts from Disneyland. We're sure that he will appreciate these and will look upon your case with a fresh beginning.

Sex Swami, Nithyananda, this pretty darn good news. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, oh, Sex Swami Nithyananda, what is this here?

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh in exercise garb.
All pumped up and no where to go except prison... for the next 20 years.

Hey, baby.  Wanna get lucky?  X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet)
Ram Rahim Singh tries to impress the beach bunnies.

The bigger the bike, the smaller the ego?
X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh is no longer
a big wheel in the (un)holy godman business

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet)
Ram Rahim Singh Action Figure heading straight to prison for the next
20 years. Dig that head-cape and pajama set. But, sorry, no more blow(ing up)
jobs as pictured in the background.

Don't look now, Mr. Nithyananda, but it is one of your rivals, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh! He's just been convicted of rape last Friday, August 25, 2017, and was sentenced today, Monday, August 28, 2017 for twenty years! Say, wasn't last Friday the same day of Ganesh Chaturthi? The Divine Deity that removes obstacles? Looks like the obstacles for his conviction were removed all right. Yikes! This might be very dangerous. Sri Nithyananda, you better do your homework on this one. Let's look at the original complaint letter that started Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh's downfall that led to a twenty-year prison sentence. Shall we?

Shri Atal Behari Vajpayee,
Prime Minister
New Delhi

I am a girl hailing from Punjab State. I have been serving as a 'Sadhwi' in 'Dera Sacha Sauda', Sirsa (Haryana) for the last five years. Beside me, there are hundreds of others girl here, who serve for 18 hours daily.

But we are sexually exploited here. The 'Dera Maharaj' Gurmeet Singh rapes the girls in the 'dera'. I am a graduate. My family has blind faith in the 'Maharaj' (Gurmeet Singh). It was at my family's bidding that I became a 'Sadhwi'. Two years after I became a 'Sadhwi', a special woman-disciple of Maharaj Gurmeet Singh came to me one night at 10' o' clock and said that the Maharaj had summoned me to his room. I felt elated that Maharaj himself sent for me. I was going to him for the first time. After climbing the stairs, when I went into his room, I saw that he was holding a remote in his hand and was watching a blue film on the TV. Beside his pillow on the bed, lay a revolver. Seeing all this, I was frightened and became nervous. I had never imagined that Maharaj was a man of this type. Maharaj switched off the TV and seated me beside him. He offered me water and said that he had called me because he considered me very close to him. This was my first experience.

Maharaj took me in his embrace and said that he loved me from the core of his heart. He also said that he wanted to make love with me. He told me that at the time of becoming his disciple, I had dedicated my wealth, body and soul to him and he had accepted my offering. When I objected, he said, "There is no doubt that I am God." When I asked if God also indulges in such acts, he shot back:

1. Sri Krishna too was God and he had 360 'gopis' (milkmaids) with whom he enacted 'Prem lila' (love drama). Even then people regarded him as God. So, there is nothing to be surprised at it.

2. I can kill you with this revolver and bury you here. The members of your family are my devoted followers and they have blind faith in me. You know it very well that members of your family cannot go against me.

3. I have considerable influence with governments also. Chief Ministers of Punjab and Haryana and central Ministers come to pay obeisance to me. Politicians take help from us. They cannot take any action against me. We will get the members of your family dismissed from govt. jobs and I will get them killed by my 'Sewadars' (servants). We will leave no evidence of their murder. You know that earlier also we got the 'dera' Manager Fakir Chand killed by goondas. His murder remains untraced till this day. The 'dera' has a daily income of one crore rupees with which we can buy leaders, police and the judges.

After this, the Maharaj raped me. The Maharaj has been doing this with me for the last three years. My turn comes after every 25-30 days. Now I have learnt that before me too, the Maharaj had been raping the girls he had summoned. Most of these women are now 35 to 40 years old and they are past the age of marriage. They have no other option but to remain in the 'dera'.

Most of the girls are educated --- B.A., M.A., B.Ed, etc. But they are living a life of hell in the 'dera', simply because the members of their families have blind faith in the Maharaj. We wear white clothes, tie a scarf on the head, cannot even look at men and as per Maharaj's commands, and talk with men from a distance of 5-10 feet. To the people we look like 'devis' (goddesses), but we are living like harlots. This time I tried to tell my family that all was not well at the 'dera'. But they rebuked me saying that there was no better place than the 'dera' for here they were in the company of God (Maharaj). They said that I had formed a bad notion about the 'dera' and that I should recite the name of 'Satguru'. I am helpless here because I have to obey every command of the Maharaj. No girl is permitted to talk with another, according to the commands of the Maharaj.

Girls are not permitted to talk to their families even on the telephone. If any girl talks about the reality of the 'dera', she is punished according to Maharaj's commands. Sometimes ago, a Bhatinda girl revealed the wrong doings of the Maharaj. At this, all the women disciples gave her a sound thrashing. Because of a fracture in the backbone, she is now bed-ridden. Her father gave up the service in the 'dera' and went home. For fear of the Maharaj and his own disgrace, he is not revealing anything.

Similarly, a Kurukshetra girl has also left the 'dera' and has gone home. When she narrated the events in the 'dera' to her family, her brother who worked in the 'dera' gave up his job. When a Sangrur girl left the 'dera', went home and narrated the wrong-doings in the 'dera' to the people, the dera's armed Sewadars/ hooligans reached the girl's house and threatened to kill her and warned her not to leak anything about the 'dera'.

Similarly, girls from Mansa, Ferozepur, Patiala and Ludhiana districts are afraid of revealing anything about the 'dera'. Although they have left the 'dera', yet they do not say anything for fear of loosing their lives. Similarly, girls from Sirsa, Hissar, Fatehabad, Hanuman Garh and Meerutdisclose as to what happened to them in the 'dera'.

If I reveal my name, I and my family will be killed. I want to reveal this truth for the benefit of the common man, because I cannot bear all this tension and harassment. My life is in danger. If a probe is conducted by the press or some government agency, 40 to 50 girls living in the 'dera' will come forward to reveal the truth. We can also be medically examined to find out whether we are still celibate disciples or not. If we are no longer virgins, the matter should be gone into to find out who has violated our chastity.

The truth will then come out that Maharaj Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh of 'Sacha Sauda' has ruined our lives.

The GURU enjoyed 7 star life style and Bangkok type sex life All with the money donated by poor devotes.

Sharma Narendra

Yours faithfully

An innocent forced to live life in a hell (Dera Sacha Sauda Sirsa)

as published in The Times of India on 25 August 2017 and Daily Sikh Updates Post on Facebook August 25, 2017

And, now, X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh, has a life behind bars. No, Sex Swami Nithyananda, not a life at the bar. That's all in his past. Now Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh is just prisoner 1997 at the Rohtak Jail. (Read Story here.)

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh gets to see the fruits
of his spiritual karma for the next 20 years. Rot in prison. We hope
that you enjoy your stay.

At least the authorities allowed X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh to go out in style. Look, he got airlifted to prison on a helicopter. Gets to smoke a cigar on the way. Perhaps this isn't going to set a good example to all the kiddies, will it Sri Nithyananda? You, oh humble one, will certainly be allowed to be dragged off to prison in a donkey cart. And, with any luck, you'll be the one pulling it.

X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh off to sing sing in style.
Smoking a stogie and in a charter hell-icopter, while his followers riot below.

"Planting trees in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won..."
Sticking twigs into little holes and then getting them wet to produce,
ah shrubbery. A familiar skill set now applied to X-King of Bling Gurmeet
(Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh's new purpose in life for the next 20 years.
Toil. Toil. Will this be Sex Swami Nithyananda's fate?

A pity. But, that's what happens when you are a fake godman and not a genuine real McCoy Avatar of God Incarnate, as you, Sri Nithyananda, claim to be. But, don't worry. We're certain the world will see the difference between you, Master of Sexy Tantra and X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh, won't they?

Oh, dear, what's this here, Sri Nithyananda? Is this the recent news about you, Oh Grate One?:
And, then for the next couple of days later....
Dratz! It looks like the media already tarred you, Oh Great Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, with the same brush. Tainted! What are you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, going to do? Shall we brainstorm some answers? Why of course.

Let's not panic here, Sri Nithyananda. After all, the big decision is with the Supreme Court of India. And, the Supreme Court of India is only going to review the legal papers that are before it. Nothing else. Or at least we hope that nothing else will be considered into its decision. OK, better hold a lucky rabbit's foot, Sex Swami Nithyananda, and pray to God (perhaps to you?) that nothing is going to influence the decision. After all, the Supreme Court is an independent body and no one should be able to sway its decision. Even if the Prime Minister of India wanted you, Salami Nithyananda, run over by a truck, and then dropped into some pulverize machine that grinds you up into a million pieces and then mixed in with a variety of different animal manure to make fertilizer, it just ain't going to happen. No siree. At least we hope that this will not be the case. It shouldn't, we think. Perhaps.

But, even if the Supreme Court is not going to be influenced that much by Ram Rahim Singh Rape Conviction, we do have a problem with the general population of rich and gullible seekers that you, Master of Embodiment of Knowledge (master of em-body-mints), Nithyananda, are trying to lure to keep your legal team paid and a steady slush fund ready just for emergencies. Hey, Sex Swami Nithyananda, why don't you build a super slick and snazzy website that feeds all kinds of misinformation? You, Salamander Nithyananda, can keep all your goons focused on flooding social media comments and Twitter tweets with a link to this site that goes beyond logic in such a pretty way? Oh, cool, you have one already? Let's take a look:
(Warning: goes to sex swami's website - two condoms required)
Cool. OK, let's focus on the difference between you, Mr. Holy Roller, Nithyananda, and X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh. This should be easy. First off, Bling Bing Ram Rahim's case started in 2002. Yup. At this rate, you, Sex Swami Nithyananda, have another eight years of freedom to hone in and practice your deep tantric meditations with your room service ladies (and a few boys). So, no worries at all. There's still plenty of time to prove your innocence. Perhaps.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, another stark contrast between you and X-bling bing is that Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh played the Krishna card in seeking his sensual pleasures. His logic is that Krishna danced and had hundreds of ready-to-please gopi girlfriends. But, X-bling bing forgot that Lord Krishna had all his dancing at age of four when He was still very innocent. And, before He turned five, Lord Krishna was sent to a gurukul, (a real, gurukul (school), unlike the so-called spiritual pickpocket school that you run, Mr. Nithyananda, and there Lord Krishna started his formal studies. You, on the other hand, did play the Krishna card a couple of times. Yup, it is just too easy. But, mostly, your true-and-tried pickup line is that you are the best Kal Bhairav imitator on YouTube. And, then you, Oh Grate One, like to say that you're Lord Shiva. Dig those tiger prints wrapped titightlyround your beer gut. And, to seal the deal, you tell your victims that they are incarnation of Parvati (Lord Shiva's wife), and so it is only nature to have holy sex with you right then and there. If those 'come-on' lines didn't work, then you said that how difficult it is for a Living Master to stay in his body and that by having sex it will help keep you within your own body and therefore will be able to charge thousands of wealthy spiritual seekers $10,000 a pop for enlightenment if the victim is willing to help with this noble cause and have sex with you. And, a revolver by your side? Never, you Porkananda Nithyananda, are a master of brainwashing and using dark siddhis. No need for a revolver. But, just in case, you have an army of thugs who have killed at least two people (to our recollection) in your ashram. These 'enforcers' will do your bidding. No need to get your holy hands, Sex Swami Nithyananda, dirty with that. Your hands need to stay clean for other dirty adventures such as chakra touching, and other bed sport activities.

Another clear distinction between you two is the political clout that X-King of Bling Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh claims to have. Yes, Sex Swami Nithyananda. At one time, you too, were courting the Chief Minster of Karnataka to be the guest of honor to your birthday bash on March 13, ooops, we meant January first, but after your downfall, the Chief Minister of Karnataka, D. V. Sadananda Gowda, had you, the Divine Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, arrested and jailed twice in June 2012. Ouch. Right now, all you can get is dignitaries like the (alleged) King of Plagiarism, Rajiv Malhotra, come and pay (or you pay) tribute for the privilege of his presence. By, the way, Sri Nithyananda, how much do you pay Mr. Rajiv Malhotra for those low grade independent investigation/research papers? Priceless. Hey, Sex Swami Nithyananda, if you want more political clout, why don't you invite Mr. Trump?

And, I said, "Hi" like the spider to the fly....
President Smoothy Donald Trump turns on his predator charm and eyes another
acquisition opportunity.  "Nice assets.  And, did you know that I'm
enlightened courtesy of Sex Swami Nithyananda? I have a certificate
right here to prove my super spiritual prowess. Allow me to demonstrate
my ability to move your coconuts with just my mind."

Trump's approval ratings are about as low as yours, and he will even stoop as low as you, well almost; and you both like to collect ladies! Perhaps he can trade beauty pageant queens for room service ladies. Sounds fair to us.

And, if President Trump is too busy, then why don't you, Oh Great Smoocher, Nithyananda, invite X-President Clinton? Slick Willie (sorry, Brits) has time on his hands (when they are not around another lady). You two will hit off, we're sure! He's up for anything, even your standards, Oh Great Tarzan Imitator, Nithyananda. And, Slick Willie Clinton certainly knows how to survive and stay in office even when the odds are totally against him. Did you, God Incarne, Nithyananda, give him your enlightenment? There's just no other way.

Hands-on tantric lessons from Sex Swami Nithyananda?  Count me in!  Ex-president
Clinton demonstrates that even with nothing to do that he manages to still
keep busy.

Mr. Nithyananda, we can go on and on about the differences between you, Salami Nithyananda and X-Bling Master Flasher, Gurmeet (Girlmeet) Ram Rahim Singh. But, we'll leave that to your legion of internet trolls. It's late, and we're tired. But, if everything else aside, at least you, Sex Swami Nithyananda, can now rightfully grab that title of King of Bling. You, Oh Humble Servant of the Financial Market, Nithyananda, still sit on multiple golden thrones? Still sport lots of gold bling and extended all those pricey charms on your turban to hold your extra swollen head? So, stop feeling depressed. There's a real opportunity for you. Go for it!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Sex Swami Nithyananda's Supreme Court Hearing on Aug 17, 2017, Back to Jail?

An Update (November 10, 2017): Finally! After many false starts, the Supreme Court of India's online website posted a tentative schedule stating that the matter regarding Nithyananda Swami's motions would be heard on Monday, November 13, 2017. And, yes, the hearing date is scheduled at 2:00 p.m. on Monday, November 13, 2017.

Last week, the Madras (Chennai) High Court gave Ranjitha and Sri Nithya Atmaprabhananda the stay (delay) that the sought. Those two criminals were losing the case, and just as it was about to get thrown out, they filed a motion with 'new' (after eight years) evidence based on more lies. But, their case will become moot (irrelevant) if Mr. Nithyananda's trial proceeds and he is found guilty. As soon as we know more details, we will post it here. Thanks for your patience. Stay tuned.

Will the Supreme Court Send Nithyananda Back to Jail? Nail Biting Time
Jai Parmesan Cheese, Cheese, Cheese Nithyananda Salami Key Jail!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. No one has finished us off yet; is every thing OK? Are your devotees, oh, degrading one, doing their job? Mrehh, Mrehh, Mrehh! Gee, you, Center of the Cosmic Cesspool, Nithyananda, don't need to get touchy. Yeah, we get it. Running a cult for a bunch of angry and frustrated people isn't easy. We have to hand it to you for your superb job of keeping them all distracted while extracting all of their wealth. Brilliant!

We were just admiring pictures of you, Oh Great god of Crocodile Smiles, Nithyananda, on the day that should all bring us great joy, Guru Poornima, July 9, 2017. Quite frankly, your smile seemed a little more forced and faked than it usually looks. Your eyes, oh great one, were glazed over into a different zone, much like a snake's before mating. Were you in samadhi? Reminiscing about Ranjitha? Or was it something else? Well, shucks, if you were not so enlightened, then we swear that it looked like you, Avatar of Tar, Nithyananda, were worried sick.
See it now: Sex Swami Nithyananda Looks Worried on Guru Purnima 2017
(Warning: goes to sex swami's website - condom required)

Gee, Sex Swami Nithyananda, you were not worried about the Supreme Court date that was to be held on July 17, 2017 just eight days after Guru Poornima? Of course not. Why you, Self-proclaimed Creator of the Universe and Divine Keeper of Thugs, have nothing to worry about. This is all the lela (divine play) that you created in order to instruct your slavish followers to take down blogs, comments, lives, everything from people who just don't get it and don't see you as the Divine Master of the Cosmos. We have to admit, that your ploy, Sex Swami Nithyananda, sure works when it comes time to raise more money to fund your legal team. Why, Oh Great One, you really can squeeze water out of rocks or at least from people who are as dumb as a sack of rocks. Good one!

But, what's all the fuss about just one court date? You, Salamander Nithyananda, have figured out how to game the system. Just file defamation cases in as many courts as you possibly can, then intentionally send the summons to the wrong address. Give a Disneyland t-shirts to the local judge. And, voila! You, Master of Deceit, Nithyananda, have CULTivated a handful of arrest warrants against anyone who speaks out against you. Just like a modern day Duryodhana, you can shoot these arrows to anyone who gets in the way. Brillant. Just like you, Oh Master of the Legal System, Nithyananda, did to your old protagonist and whistleblower Lenin just a few days ago when he appeared in court to another (false) case against him and then got arrested for another false case that he didn't know even existed.
Read the Story: Sex Swami Nithyananda Gets Bengaluru Police to Whisk Whistleblower from Court
That will make sure that no one leaks another private video of you, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, sharing your ancient tantric sleaze online again. Done!

So, once again, there's nothing to worry about the next Supreme Court case hearing that will be on this Thursday, August 17, 2017? Right? Most likely, your attorneys will ask for a stay for another month, and then everyone will have to come back next month. Repeat. And, you, Great Gamer of Legal Action Nithyananda, will tell all your sycophants (for Nithyananda should be spelled as psychophants) "How do you keep a bunch of morons in deep, deep, deep suspense?" And, they will all be staring at you, Parmesan Nithyananda, in deep, deep, deep suspense waiting for your divine answer. Guaranteed. Do you remember, Pornohamsa Nithyananda, how you thought of this strategy and revealed it to your ashramites in L.A. on or around November 2006? Then, you hatched this plot against "yellow journalism". But why just yellow? You, Salami Nithyananda, have a way to make everyone turn green, just like All Green Muckateering, a one-stop shop for low-grade content. But, we digress.

So, what's at stake at the Supreme Court? You, Swami Nithyananda, have the dream-team of lawyers, so you will certainly win. Oh, you All Compassionate One Nithyananda, want to have all the medical records and all the information about all the (allege) victims that have come out and accuse you of rape and other crimes. You, Keeper of Fairness Nithyananda, won't use that information to harass, intimidate, or even kill these poor (alleged) victims? Of course not! You, Oh Degrading One Nithyananda, just want to heal them and send them in the right direction, right? (But, you'll leave it to your thugs to finish them off.)
Read the News: Nithyananda Criminal RAPE Case: Supreme Court to Hear Final Arguments on July 17 (now delayed until August 17, 2017)
Oh, no, Sri Nithyananda. We have a concern. What if the Supreme Court justices have been doing independent research and stumbled upon that Guruphiliac Blog and Guruphiliac on Facebook! Ouch! Their minds just might be swayed into denying your legal motions. And, get this, Great Goopru Nithyananda, what if the Supreme Court justices are followers of your arch rival Sri Sri Ravi Shankar? After all, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is everything that you claim to be. It will be like the battle of the Titans! You both battle over the same marketing segment of gullible new age spiritual seekers that are easily influenced to do your bidding and have at least $10,000 USD of disposable money that will be quickly separated. Extra bonus if they are hot and sexy or have a spouse that is hot and sexy. Perfect! But, if these judges are followers of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, then they might have it out for you! Watch out!

Hmmm. This could be tricky, Salami Nithyananda. But, really, what's the worst thing that these Supreme Court judges could do? We think that they can only deny your motions. That's all. At least that's all that is in front of them, right?

But, what if these judges get frisky? Sex Swami Nithyananda, could these judges revoke your bail privileges with prejudice? Would that mean that you are heading back to prison until the trial starts? At this rate, it could be 2033 before the trial starts. You, Porkananda Nithyananda, will be old and fat(ter). The victims? They will die of old age. Is that what you, Mr. Nithyananda, were trying to do? Certainly you, Oh Grate One, would never do the cowardly thing and try to hide behind a bunch of loopholes as you search for your personal loose holes. Never! But, what if your bail is revoked? Will you be able to appeal an order from the Supreme Court? Of course, you own and then rent out the cosmic court of law, but will the Supreme Court abide to do that? Would that get you out of jail and allow you to pick up another $2,000,000 USD from just 200 Innerawakening participants? Now we are just about as worried as you are, Master of the Unclutch Technique Nithyananda!

Everyone who walks through these doors brings joy.
Some as they walk in.
Some as they walk out.
And, some as they return.

Sex Swami Nithyananda gets his daily walk when he's let out of his crate.

Did they at least provide a bowl of water?

Shutting the door tightly to make sure that the jailbird doesn't fly the coop.

Loose shoes and a nice warm place to think about tantric practices.

We don't like the looks of this, Sri Nithyananda. If you are in jail again, then what are we going to do? Who will we spend our time and all our money? We suppose that we could do crossword puzzels. But, crossword puzzles just don't have the same effect as blogging about all your heavenly sent divine virtues. Those puzzles stimulate our brain, which is something we're not used to after following your teaching. Look, we're trying one right now. Sri Nithyananda, what's another name for 'Paramahamsa Nithyananda' and has eight letters, begins with a 'D' has 'CH' in the middle and ends with a 'G'? Really, we don't know. Is it dachshunddog? No, that has 12 letters. Sorry, we don't know what came of us to think of about you as a dachshund dog. No resemblence at all!

And, what if, Sri Nithyananda, if the Supreme Court does more! What if the Supreme Court freezes all your assets and bank accounts? Horrible! And, what if it establishes an aggressive corruption probe that is led by the CBI? Devastating! And, what if the Supreme Court demands that your manlihood tests be completed? Stiffed! And, what if the Supreme Court sets irrevocable trial dates for your rape case? Stuck! And, what if it seals off your ashram like the Chief Minister of Karnataka did in 2012? Deadly! What will all your ashramites do?

Look out! Nithya Zombies with no place to go and time on their hands.

After all, Sri Nithyananda, your ashramites have been sleep deprived and have either been sexed deprived or oversexed; (you call it tantra and experimenting). But, really the only doing activities they do all day are things like pada poojas with their little tin kits all day, when they aren't trolling the internet for anything negative about you, Oh Great One, and getting it deleted and then harassing anyone who posted such scandalous material. Well, they could get a job as Trump supporters. So, there's a chance. And, other skills such as swinging around a pole in their skivvies just might get them employment at certain locations. So, there's not without a glimmer of hope. But, on the most part, it isn't looking good. What will we do, Parmesan Nithyananda?

Stay tuned until Thursday.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Self-promoting Avatar, Nithyananda, Gets, a Sarcastic Slap on YouTube

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Hey, we hope that you don't mind, but we really want our viewers to see this video. So, we put it up front above the fold. Don't worry, it's the same video and the post remains exactly the same right below the video. Enjoy!

Is Sex Swami Nithyananda a Cult or Not? Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady Spills the Beans

Nithyananda, a bonafide super-powered vending machine.
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Well, this is hard to explain why we haven't posted anything anytime soon. But, all those legal intimidations from so many of your followers. After forking over $10,000 USD and gaining your instant enlightenment complete with a graveyard initiation, do they also get a law degree? Wwwrrreeevvaa. Wwwrrreeevvaa. Wwwrrreeevvaa. Our gruntanese is a bit rusty, but we believe you said that all the judges in King County, Washington, should be replaced with Magic Eight Balls. Not a bad choice, there, considering the quality of judgments that come out of that place (like Vinay's wrongful conviction that was based on hearsay and lies). Is there something in the water there? Oh, they all dropped by your new and improved city center on the outer-outskirts of Seattle; Issaquah, Washington, to be exact. Based on the behavior of your followers, perhaps Sasquatch, Washington would be a more fitting place. Tell, us, now that it takes over an hour to negotiate a journey to this center spiritual bliss retreat deep far away from where anyone lives (except Big Foot), can more than two people enter at a time? Just asking. It looks kind of small to host all of your millions of followers. And, yes, we remember back when you once had your North American HQ in Durate, California, that you liked your room service ladies to come in one at a time, but on special occasions, you had a twosome going. Those must have been quite some spiritual encounters. We couldn't imagine. Will this down-sized shack reminds us when you, Salamander Nithyananda, used to shack up nightly.

While we have your attention there, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, we just wanted to say how appalled we were to see more defaming videos against the Avatar of Tar, self-proclaimed God in-carne, His Royal Highnass, and the best Kalbhairav and Maha Kali impersonator on YouTube, be ridiculed by some unenlightened chap who was obviously is on the payroll for Tesco. Look! He shamelessly promotes its Cream Bisquits. Crumby indeed. Do you serve those for afternoon snacks during Living Enlightenment? Now, don't tell us that sugar is bad. We all remember how you stuffed your face with Fig Newtons in Krishnalaya in Northern California in 2005 during your acharaya training. Gee, SwineJi Nithyananda, you sure packed on the pounds there. Perhaps you better lay off the Fig Newtons until you slim down and get rid of that pot belly of yours. Are you pregnant? You, Oh, DeGrading One, Nithyananda, might have to start wrapping with two sarees (not that you already do this. wink. wink.) And, who knows, You just might get Type 2 Diabetes. Everything is so sweet about you, Mr. Nithyananda. Will you, great Eeler, Nithyananda, be able to heal yourself? Obviously, you're not able to do tantric by yourself. Ranjitha, Queen of the bottoms-up belly dances, will testify to that.

Fig Newtons.  Once a favorite munchie of the holy renunciant, Porkananda Nithyananda.

Well, this guy who never was dragged into the graveyard after midnight for that final initiation into the wonderful enriching world of enlightenment that is only valid at your ashram and city centers had some choice words for you. He said, get this, that you're a super-power vending machine. How false! Anyone knows that vending machines require coins, and at $10,000 USD a pop, that would be just too many coins to insert. Those gullible hands would be too tired to do all the lifting and massaging and check writing, etc. if they had to insert a never ending stream of coins And, how about all those slots that vending machines have for coins? Why everyone knows that you, Mr. Nithyanaanda, are the one who is inserting things into slots. Not the other way around. Totally backwards. So it is proven that you, Coinmaster Nithyananda, are not a vending machine by any means.

And, you know what, Piggiesananda Nithyananda, he had the odosity to say that the hand moves before the coconut! Can you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, imagine that? Well, of course, your now famous videos with Ranjitha clarified that your hands always move before the coconuts. Let's keep it to coconuts and keep clam shells off the menus.

And, this guy doesn't stop there. He has the nerve to make fun of your number one showcase room service lady (second only to Ranjitha). Yes, this is none other than Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda, who we refer to fondly as Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady. (You, Oh Great Pornomahamsa, Nithyananda, you might call her super make out lady, but we'll for the next round of videos to get released.) Oh, here's a picture of Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda now. At least we think that's her.

But, what's behind the mask? Sorry we ever asked.

Well, gee, it might be her. It's hard to tell with all that makeup on. Sri Nithyananda, how much does it cost to pay for all that makeup that Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda cakes on every day? Does she use a trowel? Does a nominal portion of the $10,000 USD a-pop-fees go to help replenish her makeup fund? Does all that swatic food help cleanse her face at night after packing a quarter inch of powered goop on? Is she trying to hide something like some pimples? Whiskers? Namo scars? Soulless soul (size 13)? Quite frankly, Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady looks like Vampira to us. Frightening.

Not all the screaming happens just during tantric sessions.
Just ask Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady, Swaroopapriyananda.

Yikes! Well, this unenlightened guy has the nerve to say that Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda is so open that her brains have fallen out. Gee. Everyone knows that you, Living Avatar, Nithyananda, demand that every participant must leave their minds behind along with their sandals at the door. So, of course, Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda is mindless, along with anyone else that has been through your programs. It's a fact. And, all that makeup ensures that nothing will get out. It's bullet proof! So, her brains will stay firmly in place until a power washer with bleach is applied. Then, and only then there's a chance that her brains might slip out. But, no worries, there Sex Swami Nithyananda. This next fat lady who is covered with tattoos, (a.k.a. Ma Nithya Devi Oman / Mahayogini Nithya Mahayogananda) will be sure to spit her brains back out. A safety net. Guaranteed.

And, Sex Swami Nithyananda, how many aliases does Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady have? Let's count them, but we might have to take off our shoes to get them all. But, don't worry, there, Sri Nithyananda, we'll leave our shoes at the door along with our mind. It's the way that you like things. OK, let's' count. First, there's Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda complete with her own Facebook account. Nice. But, wait, there's also Mahant Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda, which deserves its own second Facebook page. Salami Nithyananda, does that make her two-faced? Really, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady packs enough makeup for ten faces. Kind of like Dasara Ravana's little sister. Is she part of your family, Salamander Nithyananda? But, wait there's more. In Google+ and YouTube, she spells her name with a 'U' as in U-boat, a.k.a. Ma Nithya Swarupapriyananda. Hmmmm, Sex Swami Nithyananda, did Ma Nithya Pancake Lady graduate from your Gurukul? Just asking. But, we're not finished. Let's see, an earlier incarnation of Ma Nithya Super Pancake Makeup Lady as Ma Nithya Sudevi. And, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady started off, unenlightened we assume, as Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry. That's quite a transformation. Did you know, Sri Nithyananda, that Sarah Stephanie Landry (and all her aliases) once sent us a death threat? Yup, Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady promised that our heads would be cut off (by presumably you, Oh Great One) in six months. That was over five years ago. A little late, we presume, but we're still waiting. Is that how you, Mr. Nithyananda, give your devotees instant enlightenment, and make them mindless entities? How nice of of both of you. Doesn't Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady remind you of those 'sexy' spiders that lures victims into your cult web and then she bites their heads off? Nasty, indeed, but a perfect fit for your business operations. How many heads has she personally collected? Can she give one of them away in a raffle to the highest bidder? Just asking.

Ma Nithya Swarupapriyananda helps lure fresh victims into Sex Swami Nithyananda's cult web
where they await a deadly kiss and their minds to be chopped off and left dangling for eternity.

But, let us say no more, Sex Swami Nithyananda. Here! This is the offending video:

Cult or Not? Man-god Worshiper Explains How She is Not in a Cult

So, Divine Avatar of All Things, Nithyananda, what are you going to do? Make it go away. Please. This will definitely impact your marketing initiatives. It also will adversely impact your ability to pay for all your attorneys at the Supreme Court hearings regarding your rape case. Paying for these professional services to an avatar like you will not come easily if there's a significant loss of revenue. So, please! For Humanity! Make it go away!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Happy Diwali 2014 to Nithyananda and His Criminal Gang

Diwali Fireworks are Just Starting Now for Sex Swami Nithyananda and His Criminal Followers; Nithyananda's Criminal Trial Starts this Monday, October 27, 2014

Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Just a short and sweet message to wish you, old holy one, as well as your close followers a very special Diwali Fireworks Show that will last for months to come.

An explosive show of Divine showering waits ahead in the upcoming weeks. Nithyananda's criminal trial is scheduled to start this Monday, October 27, 2014.

While we have your attention there, Sri Nithyananda, we want to wish you all the blessings that you deserve from Maha Kali and Kalabhairava, both whom you claim to be, as you and your inner-circle start your criminal trial for rape, unnatural sex, criminal conspiracy, threat to life, and fraud, which starts this Monday, October 27, 2014. Our sincere prayers will be with you or at least directed at you, Salamander Nithyananda.

And, as you, Sri Nithyananda, sit in the court thinking about all the families you broken up, and all the wealth that you have unscrupulously taken, and all the ladies and men you have sexually abused, and all the ashramites who you physically and mentally tortured, and all the dark practices you have done, may your personal idol, Asura Rakta Beejasura (Deva???) (who you, Sri Nithyananda, also claim to be) guide you through the same 'glorious' results that this Asura Rakta Beejasura had when battling the Divine Mother during Navratri. A Divine licking is guaranteed.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sex Swami Nithyananda Gets Stiffed by the Supreme Court of India

CID Police to Give 'Potency' Test to Sex Swami Nithyananda, Monday September 8, 2014
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Sorry for the lapse of blog posts, but we've been practicing your special tantric practices that you taught us and we've been in samadhi while in bed for all this time. You sure are the greatest guru who ever taught us such skills. Well, did you recruit any hot new room service ladies while we've been off? Rrrrrrrrahba. Rrrrrrrrahba. Rrrrrrrrahba. We can't make out your gruntanese, but that sounds like ruba ruba ruba. Do you mean 'rub her' or 'rubber'? Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, we know what's on your mind.

Sri Nithyananda, did you hear the news? The Supreme Court of India reversed its earlier seemingly flip-flopping and said that you now must undergo the potency tests that you've been evading for over four years. It seems that all the trouble happened when you, Old Horny One, we mean Old Holy One, said during your CID Police interviews that:
"I am like a six-year-old boy and am not capable of indulging in sexual intercourse with anybody."
Obviously, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, these judges have not taken the Life Bliss Programs, I, II, III, IV, V, VI... ad nauseam, because if they had, they would know that you would never, never, never be cable of acting anything greater than a six-year-old boy. Sri Nithyananda, were do these rumors come from anyway?

While relaxing with a stiff grin of content, Sex Swami Nithyananda clutches on to his symbolic instrument of power... with all the splendor of glittering 24K gold, which, ironically, is one of the softest 'solid' elements on the planet.

Oh, dear, Salami Nithyananda, that picture above really shouldn't be available to people who haven't spent thousands of dollars for all your multi-level spiritual programs. The masses would just not understand. And, then there's those pictures from those videos that got leaked out that show you down to your undies (underwear) what seems to be a roll of quarters (coins) shoved underneath. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, you're right. Those pictures are obviously morphed and we sent them to the CID police just to set the record straight.

Oh, dear, Sri Nithyananda, it does look like you'll have to take that potency test. It's amazing what enlightened masters have to go through. There's one master from Nazareth had to drag his instrument of death in front of his followers and then slowly die while hanging on a cross, and you, on the other hand, have to go into a hospital and get checked for a potency test. Why, there's just no comparison to what you have to endure. Salami Nithyananda, will your tantric partner, Ranjitha Menon, be coming with you?, oops we meant to say, accompany you. Sorry, there Sri Nithyananda. Regardless, if she is by your side, we're sure that she will make a big splash. Hmmmmm... probably not the best of times to have her uplifting presence. But, Sri Nithyananda, we are sure that you'll be up for anything tomorrow.

Gee, Parmesan Nithyananda, it couldn't be all that bad. Let's see, there will be nurses. Yes, you like nurses, or at least their outfits, and there will be massaging, just like your tantric practices; there also will be handcuffs and beds, just standard equipment of yours, and there might even be some straps to make sure you get the full effects of the tantra, oops, we mean potency test. Gee, just like your private quarters, you'll feel right at home. Yes, those nurses can help fulfill your tantric desires if they cooperate and wear the right costume. Why, look, Salamander Nithyananda, here's a nurse now:

Sex Swami Nithyananda realizes that it is best to chose nurses from one's own harem when experimenting with tantric practices.

Sri Nithyananda, is she one of your room service ladies? Gee, Salami Nithyananda, there could be a problem. Perhaps the CID police will pick out the nurse for you. It's one thing when you get to choose from your harem of room service ladies and make the 'nightly special' wear a nurse's outfit, but it's quite another thing to have a real nurse who is trained properly.

Sex Swami Nithyananda might not get the nurse of his choosing during his potency test.

And, then there's another problem, Salamander Nithyananda, what if the nurse doesn't like you? What if she is a follower of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and only knows the inferior multi-level marketing programs of the 'Art of Living' (like a parasite) and resents your far superior Life Bliss multi-level marketing programs? What if you, Sri Nithyananda, get stuck with Nurse Ratched?

A professional like Nurse Ratched might skew Sex Swami Nithyananda's potency tests in a different direction.

Yikes! Imagine what it would be like to have Nurse Ratched for a potency test!?! Don't visualize that! No telling what cut-throat mischief she might cause!

Oh, No! Sri Nithyananda, we just remembered that there's lots of men these days that also have chosen to enter the professional field of nursing. What if you, Oh Great One, get stuck with some Joker to do your potency test!

A nurse like The Joker might add a certain twist to Sex Swami Nithyananda's potency test.

Oh, dear, Salami Nithyananda, you might get manhandled! Can you picture yourself being manhandled during a potency test? Heavens no! Say it ain't so. OK, Parmesan Nithyananda, we are now worried for you. We must think of something to divert the police and medical team to make them think that you're as innocent as the six-year-old boy you claimed to be.

We got it, Sri Nithyananda, if the medical police team ask you what is long, hard, and full of seamen, you better answer with.... that's seamen! S-E-A-M-E-N.

Sex Swami Nithyananda might find himself in deep during his potency test.

Ahhh, Salamander Nithyananda, you're off to a bad start. Think like a six-year-old boy. OK, if the medical police ask you what's goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet, you need to answer.... NO!!!!!! Sri Nithyananda, that's the wrong answer again. It's gum!

Fancy another sticky situation, Sri Nithyananda? We'll soon find out what lies underneath the wrapper.

OK, last chance, Salami Nithyananda, to convince the police that you have an innocent mind. What does a lady have two of that a cow has four of? Wrong, again! Legs, Sri Nithyananda! Legs!

Nice horns. Two legs or four legs, it doesn't matter. Sex Swami Nithyananda's special brand of yoga, in practice.

Sorry, Parmesan Nithyananda, we don't care if you've made Ranjitha wear a muumuu dress and crawl around on all fours. What? You, Salami Nithyananda, only know Ranjitha by crawling around on all fours on your bed? Jeez, this is going to be hard to convince the police and the medic team that you're really just as innocent as a six-year-old boy.

OK, Salami Nithyananda, we give up. We tried to help you, but it looks like you, Oh Holy One, are not cooperating. Hey, we just got a fresh idea! Parmesan Nithyananda, it's been four years since you said that you were like a six-year-old boy and not capable of having sex, right? Well, just tell the police and the medical team that after four years you're now going through puberty. They will understand, we hope.

Stay tuned for our next blog post.

Will the title be of the following...

Sex Swami Nithyananda Limps through His Potency Tests

Sex Swami Nithyananda Wilts under Pressure

Sex Swami Nithyananda Proves that He is the Most Impotent Guru on YouTube

Deflated Sex Swami Nithyananda Verifies to be a Softie Through and Through

or will it be....

Hard-headed Nithyananda Chokes during His Medical Exam; Spills All the Beans

Sex Swami Nithyananda Arises for the Occasion, His Rape Trial Continues

The Second Coming of Nithyananda Proves His Continuing Presence and Reveals His Seedy Secrets

Sex Swami Nithyananda is Larger than Life and Spurts Out His Own Self-incrimination

Hard-luck Sex Swami Turns to Stone During Potency Tests; Sauces Off to the Police

(Readers, please post us possible titles for our next post)

To be continued....

Get used to it, kid. Sex Swami Nithyananda wears his best 'smile' as he enters court in early September 2014, while flanked by his body-bashing supporters.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Nithyananda's Sex Fraud Exposed, Nithyananda on (top of) Ranjita / Ranjitha

Nithyananda, the Holy Cockroach, Tells All About His Sex Scandal

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Wow, you still have a way to inspire us. Something about your charisma, no doubt. We watched your video titled "Nithyananda on Ranjita" wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we didn't know you would be that graphic! But, then the title embedded in your video was "Paramahamsa Nithyananda Speaks On Ranjitha" (We noted the different spelling of Ranjita/Ranjitha). Well, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we saw you do all kinds of things on, below, on top of, underneath, inside, etc. on Ranjitha, but not speaks on. By the way, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, this would be a wonderful way to get the children in your gurukkal (brainwashing school) to learn prepositions. We can see it now, 'Swamiji went ________ (of) Ranjitha.' No more stories of airplanes and clouds. Now it is just you and Ranjitha. See, Sri Nithyananda, you really do add something useful to this planet.

Anyway, let's watch you, a holy legal sex predator versed in tantra knowledge speak on Ranjitha before we comment more about you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda:

Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we just love the beginning. The nice female voice ask you on cue to say a few things about Ranjitha. Then at 11 seconds in, we get to see you give that big crocodile grin you made so famous and then it fades out! Cut! What happened Sri Nithyananda, were there some feelings expressed that were not suitable for YouTube? Only your editor knows for sure. But, back at 0:12 seconds, your back on track with a serious face on... saying "as I expressed earlier." Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, then you try to take the higher ground by saying that "I did not feel hurt for myself", yeah, like right. As you were whimpering in your hideout excommunicated by all the real sanyasi's. We really believe you. And all your sincerity. Honest. But, then you admit that you were 'gravely hurt for all the pain and suffering caused to your tantric partner, Ranjitha. Wow, a true holy man. Always thinking the best for your flock. Then, you say that you're always 'available' and that these 'revengeful' people should not take have 'ruined' the lives of your devotees, especially your beside fixture, Ranjitha.

Brilliant there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. In a single stroke you make all the people who feel hurt and cheated by your actions seem like they are the culprits, and that you can now claim the higher ground. Look you really feel 'gravely hurt' for all the suffering 'caused' to Ranjitha and her family. So sincere. And, now you send your sincere prayers and blessings to her and her family. Wow, they must feel blessed now. Especially her husband.

And, then you 'Swami' Nithyananda, say "I don't feel hurt for myself at all... but hurting devotees is too much. People who hurt my devotees... that's what I really feel empathize." Yes, Sri Nithyananda, you are really good at hurting your devotees both physically, mentally, psychological, and spiritually. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, of all people, should be able to empathize with this. It's just natural.

And, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you try to marry Ranjitha after the scandal broke out? But, she didn't return your calls as much as you tried? Wow, that would have been brilliant. Then it would have just been a 'private' matter between you and her... and just giving up that sanyasi title to those who know what it means, you would have been back on your throne receiving piles of 24K gold flowers like you did last Guru Poornima. But, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there were a few problems there. First, Ranjitha was already married. You could have added to your title of polygamist as well as womanizer. Then, there was the tantric sex contract with multiple signatures, and the other videos with lots of other ladies doing even naughtier things on them... did you, 'Swami' Nithyananda buy all those videos back? Keep on helping the Indian economy, because we know where those videos are... and they just might be aired when you least expect them too.

Anyway, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. After you leave this body, we don't think you'll get birth anytime soon... but we gazed into our crystal ball and your next birth will be in line to the karma that you've collected and appropriate to your actions. Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda. You'll come back as a cockroach, a Nithya Cockroach, A Holy Cockroach. And, all your scampering, lies, manipulations, scampering, dark activities, lots of garbage, hiding, sewers, and proliferating will be well suited. In fact you're living that life right now. Here, Sri Nithyananda. Let's take a look at the video now, shall we?

And, for our loyal readers who might not understand the dialog of a loud and obnoxious cockroach sounds like here's the transcribed script:
Announcer / Title and Credits:
Nithyananda on (top of) Ranjitha

True confessions of a cockroach

A Nithya Cockroach

by self-titled ‘Paramahamsa’ Nithyananda, holy legal sex predator

Well, there Sri Nithyananda, can you say a few words about Ranjitha?

Nithya Cockroach:
Well, I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I only know how to say one thing over and over again. Unless of course, I rip off somebody, but that’s one of my trade secrets us cockroaches vow not to tell. Ooops.

Oh, so you want to know about Ranjitha? That married film star lady? Why out of all my thousands of room service ladies, she was the best. You, see I have a third antennae. You, know, all cockroaches have two antennas, but I’m no ordinary cockroach, I’m a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. That means I claim to be enlightened.... and there’s suckers out there willing to believe that. But, since I’m a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, I have a third antennae just hidden that only comes out when you do secret ancient tantric rituals.

And, I can tell you that Ranjitha devotee of mine, did far and above the best tantric rituals I have ever seen. She is soooo sincere; my third antennae would just pop out, out of nowhere. There’s no way I could have replicated that for the CID Police team. Just no way. And, because of that, I told the CID Police Team that I didn’t know if I was a male cockroach, a female cockroach, or a neutered cockroach. But, let me tell you something. Besides scavenging for food and living off the riches of other people, us cockroaches know how to proliferate. Yes. That’s our specialty. Especially a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I average over 200 eggs a day. Wow, I’m such a holy stud... for a cockroach.

Yes, that married film star lady friend of mine, she was the best room service lady ever. She would work overtime, and I mean way into the wee hours just to make sure that the tantric rituals were completed just like they were in the days of Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). In this way, she was far and above the most sincere devotee I ever had. I just love sincerity. I can’t get enough of it.

And that darn hidden camera just spoiled it all. You see, I’m a cockroach, a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach... and I do my best ancient tantric rituals only in the dark. But, now that there’s light shining in on my operation and that secret camera filming, my best room service ladies go hiding for cover. Just like my hundreds of brothers and sisters. A light goes on, and they go scampering. Legs are flying everywhere. No more cover from my dark practices. Oh, it is such a pity; that had to go and ruin it all.

Well, there Sri Nithyananda, do you feel bad about what you did?

Nithya Cockroach:
Feel bad? Why I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy cockroach. I never felt an once of remorse ever in my whole life. Never. Never. Never. Never. Do you think us cockroaches would ever feel bad about anything? Well, let me tell you. We cockroaches are scavengers. We know that we could never make it on our own. But, as long as there are people willing to believe that we’re enlightened, we can do just about anything. Sit on gold thrones, eat fine food, have big fat wallets, and get the best room service you can imagine. You should try being a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach.

See if you were a cockroach, especially a Nithya Cockroach, someone can take a big shoe and whack you so hard that you go SPLAT. But just in a few hours later, you’re back on YouTube just like nothing ever, ever, ever, ever happened at all.

Well, there Sri Nithyananda, that’s very interesting. You mentioned about all the pain that was caused? Any words on that?

Nithya Cockroach:
Oh, yeah, that was just a trade secret of us cockroaches, you see I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, I have no problem climbing the biggest stinkiest hill of manure just so I can look down at other people and claim the higher ground. You see, I don’t give a rat’s tush about anything, especially my dumb-lanced devotees. They are my slaves. No sleep and no decent food... and work and work and work until they are hanging high and dry. That is the best way to turn their minds into mush. That’s all they are good for. These devotees are my special donkeys who I tricked into building and financing my entire empire in exchange for my special brand of ‘enlightenment’. What suckers. Totally brainwashed dolts to become ego fodder. My type of donkey-people.

You see, I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And my skin is made out of Teflon®. Nothing sticks to it. I can go through a whole pile of garbage as high as the Himalayas and come out looking as clean as an angel. You see, as a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I will make this whole big sex mess with my room service ladies look like it was the work of some other bad people who went and hurt my precious devotees. And after scampering in the cracks, I will turn it around and frame all those angry and cheated people and say that it is their fault, not mine. And, then my results? Hee, hee. Not only do I look innocent, but other people look bad and hurtful. They are the problem; not me. And, the best thing about it is that I come off as a holy cockroach. A Nithya cockroach. And I still am able to go about my dirty business as usual. Then AS I sit on top of that big heap of manure, I can say that I’m now the king of stink. Because I’m a cockroach. A Nithya cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, cockroaches just love stink. In fact, after this interview, I’m going to grab some of my room service ladies and I’m going to go hunting for some fish stink...

Well, ah, thank you there, Sri Nithyananda. I think that’s a little bit too much information. We need to end this interview in a hurry. OK, thanks for listening. Tune in next week for another addition of Nithyananda, the Nithya Cockroach.

(an aside): Ah, someone grab the mic away from that cockroach. I heard enough of him already. That’s one fifthly cockroach.

Nithya Cockroach:
I heard that. You think it’s easy being a Nithya cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. Why I have to go in the garbage everyday looking for things to eat, and laying eggs and getting laid... and sitting on my golden thrones counting all my millions of dollars and taking inventory on the personal parts of my room service ladies and...

Just shut up. Click.

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Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.