Nithyananda's Birthday Bash is Bashed by the Police

Tamil Nadu Police Rains in Sex Swami Nithyananda's Birthday Parade
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how's your late birthday party going? Rrrrrrrrah! Wow, Salami Nithyananda, it's your party and you can grumble if you like to. Gee, why the sour mode? Oh, oh, we just saw the news too thanks to that other blog, Stand Up for Dharma:

http://www.dinamalar.com/News_Detail.asp?Id=621116 NEW!

http://viruvirupu.com/2013/01/06/43384/

http://www.dinakaran.com/News_Detail.asp?Nid=36150

http://www.nakkheeran.in/users/frmNews.aspx?N=89761

http://www.maalaimalar.com/2013/01/06140343/madurai-aadheenam-petition-to.html

Google: Tamil to English Translator

And, look Salamander Nithyananda, here is an eye-witness report along with a translation of the consolidated articles above:

Late in the Night of 5th, Nithya was informed by the local Thruvannamalai police that he is not allowed to enter the main Shiva temple on the 6th morning as per his schedule. Nithya's devotees had erected a huge temporary stage in front of the temple for Nithya to address the gathering and give his birthday message. Late on 5th night the police dismantled the stage and removed the audio system and warned Nithya that he would be arrested if he conducted a public address. So his 6th morning programme of visiting the Main Shiva temple in Thruvannamalai and addressing the devotees and giving his birthday message was cancelled. He never visited the temple. This is the first time perhaps he could not visit the temple on his birthday, from the time he became a so called Swami.

His evening programme in his Thruvannamalai Ashram also turned out to be a bigger fiasco. He erected a huge temporary stage in the open grounds and decked it up with floral decorations. Dinner for devotees was arranged in an adjoining school ground. His schedule was: At 4.30 PM pada puja and arati was to be performed in the Ananda Sabha by his fully brain washed devotees like Aiyya, Rishi and other fools. At 5.30PM he was supposed to be on the stage to be honored by his devotees. Sat sang and message was for 6.00PM to be followed by individual darshan and dinner. His brainwashed organizers from nearby villages arranged for about 10 bus loads of poor villagers. The organizers paid Rs500.00 per person with free mala, meals and transport. It was a paid holiday trip for the villagers. Nithya wants crowds for advertisement and is willing to pay for them. This is a practice followed by political parties in India. Sad but this is the truth. By about 3.00PM a crowd of about 2000 was managed by Nithya's organizers. Most of the crowd were villagers who were paid to attend the programme. The Police about 200 personnel in all arrived in 4 vans at around 3.30PM and surrounded the Ashram. The inspector went inside and told Nithya that he was not permitted to take the stage and address a public gathering. He could only give darshan to his devotees in a room/ hall and accept pada puja. Once the police realized that the majority of the so called devotees were a paid crowd, they promptly dispersed them and sent them back to their villages. Nithya was warned not to take the stage and address the crowd. He promptly cancelled the evening program. As I write this the police are still posted in the Ashram. Tomorrow he has announced an NSP program in nearby Salem District. We need to see if he will take the program as announced or will cancel the same.

Oh, dear, Parmesan Nithyananda, it looks like the Tamil Nadu Police blocked your parade, big speech, everything. How dare the Tamil Nadu Police does this to you, Salami Nithyananda!

Sex Swami Nithyananda's Birthday Bash Goes Up in Flames as His 'Enlightened' Staff Fails to Make Preparations

Nithyananda is left gasping for air as his 10th anniversary birthday celebrations goes up in smoke.

Parmesan Nithyananda, who is to blame for this disaster? After all, Sri Nithyananda, it couldn't be you. You, Oh Failed Pharaoh of Madurai, are the Rare Living Avatar, God Incarnate. Therefore, no one could blame this fiasco on you. Not at all. Then again, your staff could have really messed up. Without your presence while you, Oh Great Holy Tour Guide, were cruising money right out of the pockets of all those rich paying tourists (high seas robbery), your staff's enlightenment certificates certainly must have eroded. Why even with a whole extra week to make preparations (translates greasing the right palms) your enlightened inner-circle just couldn't put round pegs inside square holes. Not looking good, Parmesan Nithyananda, your weak week late birthday bash had been thoroughly bashed. Kaput. No more. What an embarrassment!

Gee, Salami Nithyananda, you are the Greatest Kal Bhairva imitator this side of any circus. No one can cross your path like the Tamil Nadu Police just did and get away with it. Will you make another threatening YouTube Video where you declare yourself as being a Divine Bug Zapper and then threaten to zap the daylights out of the Tamil Nadu Police?

Nithyananda, the Great Kal Bhairava imitator, has no choice but to threaten the destruction of the Tamil Nadu Police force for embarrassing him a week after his birthday.

It's just natural that you, Sri Nithyananda, continue these threats. After all, you, Salami Nithyananda, did threaten to destroy that blogger. It's been a whole year since you, ex-293 Nithyananda, made that threat and nothing happened to that blogger yet. But, we are sure that in ten, fifteen, maybe even twenty years, that blogger will stub his toe or not get an extra scope of ice cream when it is hot outside. Then, he will know not to make fun of you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, ever again.

But, all is not lost, Parmesan Nithyananda, you can still hire a punk rock band or two to do some birthday celebrations and amuse the big crow of 10 million followers that came for the big failed even. And, then you, Salami Nithyananda, can still tape your birthday speech and then post it on YouTube. You can even have the three or four ashramites (who haven't been arrested) gathered around you during your speech. These ashramites can clap their hands and whoop on cue so you, Salamander Nithyananda, can say your speech was taped in front of a live audience. Perfect! In five years from now, no one will ever guess that your birthday bash, Sri Nithyananda, was a bust.

Nithyananda (as Mr. Burns) Celebrates His Birthday with the Ramones Rolling Stones

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Nithyananda, a Week Late for His Birthday Bash

Sex Swami Nithyananda is a Week Late and $10 Million Short for His Own Birthday, but Promises to Show His Face in Public
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? [no reply.] Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? [no reply.] Sri Nithyananda, today is that special day, you know, the day you were born and became enlightened. At least you say that you were born on this day, even though your passport and other documents say March 13, 1997. But, now that we have become, once again, unquestioning, faithful devotees of yours again, we believe that Parmesan Nithyananda born on January 1, 1978 and he was enlightened January 1, 2000 after ten, well, maybe seven, but reduced to five-half-years of wandering barefoot, but now revised to say he was barefooted and wondering in the Ramakrishna Mission. But, don't worry, we believe you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda. Honest.

So where are you, Salami Nithyananda? This is the day we celebrate your pompous show of material wealth and cultish cheer-leading for over a week straight. Why in the good old days, you, Salamander Nithyananda even had the now disgraced Ex-Chief Minister, CM B S Yeddyurappa to grace his presence on your presence and make it look like your shady money making cult was actually legitimate. How much did Mr. B S (just love'n those initials) Yeddyurappa charge to make a display of himself? We bet the price per appearance has come down drastically since he was booted from office. Is he available for kids' birthday parties? Why not yours, Oh former-Future Pharaoh of Madurai, Nithyananda?

Disgraced Ex-Chief Minister, B S Yeddyurappa, picks out his next appearance with Rare Living Avatar, Sex Swami Nithyananda

And, Sri Nithyananda, why there is nothing special coming out of your sacred Dhyanapeetam ashrams in Bidadi and Thiruvannamalai? Not only are you, Ex-293, Nithyananda, missing, there's no special streamers, confetti, display of 24-K gold. There's not even one hot young room service lady sporting a miniskirt and uggs doing some shaking go-go action. Very boring. Just as if you, Salami Nithyananda, were in jail. Parmesan Nithyananda, will there be a party this year? Any glimpse of your divine presence parading around? Please give us a sign!

Celebrations for Sex Swami Nithyananda's birthday bash apparently came to a screaming halt.

Look here, Salamander Nithyananda, on your official website of Nastiananda.com, birthday celebrations to be held outside of the official Nithyananda Temples of Bidadi and Thiruvannamalai:

http://www.nithyananda.org/events/36th-avatar-day-celebrations-of-paramahamsa-nithyananda-tiruvannamalai

Whippie. Sri Nithyananda, you're a savior after all. Just in time! Well, almost on time. Wasn't the date stated Sunday, January 6th? And, isn't the big day on January 1st? Didn't you, Salami Nithyananda, always celebrate this big day on January 1st? Not January 6th? Sri Nithyananda, it wasn't like you had to wait for the weekend to kick off your birthday. You, Ex-293 Nithyananda, always said that you purposely came on January 1st, so everyone could celebrate your true birthday and your alleged enlightenment day, since January 1st is world-wide holiday of New Year's Day. Certainly a rare living avatar, and incarnation of Kal Bhairava and Maha Kali with over ten million followers could pull off having your birthday celebrated on the correct day. Sri Nithyananda, are your standards going the wayside? Could have their been someone more important than you, Oh Fired Junior Pontiff of Madurai, Nithyananda? Did someone tell you, Oh Great Kal Bhairava impersonator that you, Sri Nithyananda, had to wait in line? Were all the payments in the right palms at the right time? Thank goodness for the Inner Awakening Cruise money. It came just in time.

Sri Nithyananda, your almost week-late birthday bash is still welcomed news, even though those against you and your mission are calling you a 'week ling'. But forget about them, Salami Nithyananda. Let's see, Sri Nithyananda, by showing yourself to the public at 4:00 a.m. in the morning (as advertised) will prove to all those Nithyananda-haters that you, Oh Great One, are not afraid of being arrested in Tamil Nadu. Not at all. And, by making that great appearance at 4:00 a.m., you, Salamander Nithyananda, will thwart all those Nithyananda distractors. Simply, those distractors, unlike most of your followers, all have day jobs. Yes, from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., sometimes even later, they all toil for a living as bankers, teachers, dentists, software engineers, project managers, etc. In contrast, your loving and loyal care-free followers recognize what a rare living avatar you, Sri Nithyananda, are, so they are doing nothing but promoting you and stamping out negativity. So, with no set schedule for sleep, if they get any sleep at all being around you, is needed. Those working class distractors, will be too tired, even on a Sunday, to wake up at 3:30 a.m. just to let you, Sri Nithyananda, know how disappointed they are with your actions. They will be foiled. But, don't worry, Parmesan Nithyananda, we and our like-minded followers will be there to greet you with a big birthday surprise you will always remember. We can't wait! See you, Sri Nithyananda, in just a few days.

A big birthday surprise awaits to pop out at Sex Swami Nithyananda and his ten million minions

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Nithyananda's 2013 Plans; Dares to Show His Face?

Sex Swami Nithyananda's FAILED Inner Awakening and CANCELLED Birthday Celebrations
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. How you doing? Oh, just cruising along? That's great. We saw all those pictures of you, Salami Nithyananda, and your 2012 geriatric followers and they look like they are totally blissed out. Mesmerized. Brainwashed, in fact. We're glad to see that you are back to your old tricks, Parmesan Nithyananda. You, Oh Holy One, are so resilient. That's about the only holy attribute that hasn't been fully proven false yet. Why don't you, Ex-293 Nithyananda, market that attribute? Your slogan could go something like this:

"No matter how deep I fall in a pile of stinky crud, I always bounce back, with only a trace of stench. Come learn my secret and attend my Inner Awakening 21-Day Meditation Program, which is a specially designed instant enlightenment program for people who are really screwed up (and rich)."

In spite of all the good news, Salami Nithyananda, we're a bit concerned. We noticed that your Inner Awakening Program scheduled for January 16, 2012 has been cancelled! Heavens. We know that you, Parmesan Nithyananda, would never, never, never cancel a money making program like that, because there's scores of people lined up just waiting to be with you for 21 days, priceless. And, even if there were a dip in demand, you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, would break out the Magic Jacks and instruct your current batch of IA (Idiots Abundant) and tell them to make cold calls to all their friends and family. And, then to hold accountability, you Living Monster, Nithyananda, simply withhold their enlightenment certificates until they each round up ten new participants valid only by their deposits for the nest Inner Awakening program. So, demand is hardly the issue here.

So, Sri Nithyananda, did you cancel the January 16th offering of Inner Awakening due to the rumors that the Police are after you? Are you not allowed in your own brotherly brothel, a.k.a. ashram? How come all the future events such as Inner Awakening, etc. have 'to be determined' for location? Is your other brotherly brothel in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu, also off limits? So are the rumors true that you, Oh Holy One, Nithyananda, cannot enter?

And, Salamander Nithyananda, what about your big Jayanti, you know, Holy Birthday / Enlightenment Day celebrations held each January 1st? Is this not the big holiday where everyone can recognize that you truly are the Rare Living Avatar? Didn't three years ago, Sri Nithyananda, get all pumped up for this big event by doing the holy sacred tantric acts with a morphed hologram with your caretaker and hostess, Ranjitha Menon? Yes, Salami Nithyananda, those videos were filmed exactly three years ago to the date.

Sex Swami Nithyananda's disappointing birthday bash. All dressed up and for cosmic partying, but no place to go do tantra in peace.

So, where will your birthday bash be held, Salami Nithyananda? We already bought tickets to go to your ashram in Bidadi. We were going to climb the big banyan tree that was first 300 years old, then 600 years old, and now over a thousand years old, because that seemed like such a proper place to celebrate the aging of the Sex Avatar, Nithyananda. Then, as you were prancing by with all your female minions vying for the sacred tantric rights for the night, we would jump out of the tree and greet you with 'Happy Birthday'. But, now it looks like we might have to wait at least another year.

Gee, Sri Nithyananda, please show us that everything is going to be OK, and that you are not going to be banished from your ashrams, that you're not a defeated Kal Bhairava Impersonator, that you are not a coward hiding from the police. Oh, please, give us a sign, better yet, an event that we can come and give you the praise that you so do deserve.

What's this, Parmesan Nithyananda? Do our eyes deceive us? Why shucks, you, Ex-293 Nithyananda, are going to head up a whole delegation to Kumbh Mela! Just watch your own promotional video:

Sex Swami Nithyananda Plans to Crash (and burn) Kumb Mela 2013

Just listen to how excited the announcer is to trumpet your name as the "World's Greatest Living Incarnation!" Gee Sri Nithyananda, we didn't know that there was such a thing a ranking of living incarnations. So, who would have the title of "The World's Second Greatest Living Incarnation"? Would that go to your arch rival, multi-level marketing guru, Sri Sri Ravishankar? We know that he is not as great as you, Oh Ex-293, Nithyananda, but we have to admit that we are attracted to his holy double-sided ear-to-ear grin that just reeks sincerity.

Pictured: Arch Rival to Sex Swami Nithyananda is Mr. Sincerity, (and Multi-level marketing guru) Sri Sri Ravishankar, donning a pointy hat to match his pointy tale.

Salami Nithyananda, we have a question. Is that the natural voice of the lady announcer or were you, like, a, initiating her to some of your holy tantric rituals? Perhaps, Sri Nithyananda, you should have lady devotees like that stay in a hen house, were they can lay eggs all day long.

Salamander Nithyananda, this is deja vu all over again. Do you, Oh Great Kal Bhairava Impersonator, Nithyananda, remember Kumbh Mela 2010? Where you, Oh Great Indicted Felon, Nithyananda, were running for your life and the law? Those were sure exciting times. But, just three years before that, during the Kumbh Mela 2007 at the very same location of Allahabad, you, Sri Nithyananda, were the live of the party. Through your great tantric prowess, you Salami Nithyananda, were able to convince the committee that you were the most qualified person to lead the gran procession right into the holy bath, the most grandest of dips. Will you, Parmesan Nithyananda, have the same honors? Will it be so easy to find you? Why look here! We found your promotional YouTube video that let the world see how the King of Tantra, Nithyananda, can take over a holy festival like Kumbh Mela.

Sex Swami Nithyananda Soils Kumbh Mela 2007

Speaking of Sri Sri Ravishankar, Holy Master of Photocopying Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, do you remember how in 2007, you, Sri Nithyananda, addressed all your ashramites in Los Angeles? Of course you do, Ex-Pharaoh of Madurai, Nithyananda. You said how Sri Sri Ravishankar quietly approached you. And, you went on to say that you offered Sri Sri Ravishankar to share the lead procession with you, but he declined. You, Salami Nithyananda, told the ashramites that the committee for Kumbh Mela only could accept those that came from the tradition of Vedic Culture, and that Sri Sri Ravishankar's beliefs were 'not mainstream'; in fact, you, Oh Great One, Nithyananda, labeled his practices as a cult. A few weeks later, you, Sri Nithyananda, virtually declared war on Sri Sri Ravishankar and his Art of Living (off of others) when you claimed he made allegations that your divine order was really a cult. You then went on, Salamander Nithyananda, to further badmouth that Sri Sri Ravishankar couldn't pay his electric bill at his ashram, and how unbecoming he looked doing that inane dance on YouTube. If you, Oh Great Protector of Ahimsa (nonviolence), Nithyananda, had a gun at the moment, we thought that you might go and shoot him on the spot. You had that type of intention.

Well, let's hope that Sri Sri Ravishankar stays home next to his harem, and doesn't disturb your holy tantric practices during this year's Kumbh Mela. After all, this is going to be great, Parmesan Nithyananda! This shows the world that you are not afraid of police, retaliating crowds, etc. You, Sri Nithyananda, will be at the heart of all that action, and if for one moment you thought that you did was wrong, it would be all over. Let's pray together, Salami Nithyananda, that everyone else there will have the same understanding.

Look, here's another photo of you, Salamander Nithyananda, during the greatness which you need to reclaim. It was taken during the Kumbh Mela 2007 in Allahabad.

U.S. H-1 Visa violator: Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj (Arunprasath Duriaraj), a.k.a. Sri Nithyananda Ajara, fully supports the criminal sex cult of Swami Nithyananda.

Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj

Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj / Arunprasath Duriaraj

We remember this chap, Salami Nithyananda. Why it is no other than Sri Nithya Ajara, whose real name is Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj, but sometimes purposely misspells it as Arunprasath Duriaraj. He's an Orcacle database admin, and is one of three brothers that gave your order legitimacy in the United States because they actually knew Sanskrit. Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj was sure a good follower. So good of a follower that he divorced his wife under your instructions. And, Sri Nithyananda, your power was so good that during the divorce proceedings, her lawyer decided to get a cup of tea and missed being with Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj's soon-to-be ex-wife when it was time to present her case in front of a judge. She was totally screwed. So happy was Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj, his two brothers, and your fawning followers in Los Angeles with your special esoteric talents, Mr. Nithyananda, that they all celebrated Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj's divorce and had a little party at the Los Angeles Vedic Temple. Seemingly very eager to follow in your footsteps Sri Nithyananda, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj practiced your same brand of steamy tantra on other people's wives, and even plotted a scheme to get one husband thrown out of his own house. But luckily, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj wasn't that skilled at such things, and the targeted husband acted first. Oh, well, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj will eventually learn to be more decisive. We're sure that one day, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj will be able to cause divorces as fast as you.

Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj (Ajara) was easily identified when neighbors described an unwanted visitor to the blogger's house in February 2011 as looking like an evil Bob's Big Boy.

Getting a head start while honing in on his home-wrecking skills, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj (Ajara), serves up a fresh divorce from his own hands.

Salami Nithyananda, you probably should teach Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj to be a little more stealth. Back in February 2011, shortly after you tried unsuccessfully to serve the blogger a lawsuit, didn't you send Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj to visit the house? Did he not drop a 'little something' on to the front yard of the blogger? Based on his ugliness and weight issues, it was very easy for the blogger to piece together the blotched who-done-it. Why it could only be Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj. Shucks, Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj has left you and no longer thinks that you, Parmesan Nithyananda, is god incarnate. Maybe after he heard his little brother cry about all the wickedness you, Sri Nithyananda, done to him, that perhaps that even the likes of Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj would have second guesses. Oh, well, their miss. But, no longer under your protection, Oh Great Tantricmeister, Nithyananda, will Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj still be able to stay in the United States while violating his H-1 visa? Would anyone take a chance on hiring Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj now? We wish him all the luck in the world, honest, but until he starts wearing your holy mala (rosary) and recites the mantras of Lord Shiva that has your holy name, Sri Nithyananda, substituted for Lord Shiva, it doesn't look good for him.

Anyway, Pornohamsa Nithyananda, we don't want to leave on a down note about the mishaps and negative creepiness of Mr. Arun Prasnat Dorairaj (Araja). After all, it is really exciting that you, of all people, Salamander Nithyananda, will be appearing again at Kumb Mela from February 8th to February 16, 2013. Exuberating! Salami Nithyananda, we can't wait. We're going to get a bunch of like-minded devotees and arrive early and just wait for your arrival and give you the darshan that you sorely deserve. Our reception will be like 100 times Diwali! Yes, it will be a blast.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Part 3: Nithyananda's Human Self-Smuggling Act - His Journey to Singapore & Back

In our last blog post, Part 2: Nithyananda's Inner Awakening: $20,000 Out of Our League & Under the Sea of Debt, we Salamander Nithyananda, had selected Costa Cruises, a tainted cruise line with a shoddy safety record complete with death toll in order to maximize His holy profits; (after all, lawyers and super-models have high hourly rates). Costa Cruises guaranteed that the 2012 Edition of Inner Awakening was going to be an action packed, death defying, thriller of a boat ride. But, our blogger and friends didn't know if they would be able to keep their heads above water. The pressure is mounting... will they crack? Will they drown?

Don't touch that mouse button.... the truth is yet to be revealed!

Sex Swami Nithyananda's Tour de Force or Tour by Force? The Art of Dodging Domestic & International Authorities
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Are you, Oh Great One, really going to select Costa Cruise to host your 2012 Edition of Living Enlightenment? Too bad, Parmesan Nithyananda, The Love Boat is not available. You, Salami Nithyananda, remember The Love Boat, don't you? Of course, it was an ABC production that ran on Saturday night television from the late 70's to 1986. It featured lots of big hair, and big, eh, ratings. And, if you were really hard up, you, Sri Nithyananda, could watch Fantasy Island that aired right after The Love Boat. Didn't you, Tantra King, Nithyananda, model your whole Life Bliss Foundation after these two winning shows? We thoughts so; no wonder it's manifesting into a 2012 theme cruise right now.

Nithyananda's The Love Boat, Tantric Edition, what's long, hard, and full of tantric followers? Oh, we forgot overrated too.

Nithyananda's The Love Boat, Tantric Edition, will also feature an all-star cast to make sailors feel very cozy and personal when they come to port after a long tour of duty.

Salamander Nithyananda, did you ever think about making a television series modeled after The Love Boat? You can call it The Tugboat, Guide to Tantric Enlightenment. You, Sri Nithyananda, could then feature at least six aging tugboats bobbing up and down while anchored around your bedroom, you know, the old boats with a wide bow, big hooks, and plenty of cable, all of which to drag big vessels safely into their inserted docks. Yup, those maneuvers require a lot of torque and leverage as you would know better than anyone, Parmesan Nithyananda. For the show, all of these barnacle encrusted clunkers will be at your disposal, Salami Nithyananda, while you channel surf. Cowabunga. And then you, holy stud, get to christen one lucky power dinghy as the SS Ranjithananda, the mother of old tubs. But, then again, Sri Nithyananda, a show like that could probably only be pay-for-view. We'll have to think of a different strategy to get the young ones hooked. SpongeBob SquarePants has already been done.

Sex Swami Nithyananda, pictured right, instructs SpongeBob SquarePants on how to become bliss bait to lure young kids and fresh talent into his fold.

Blowing his life away. Pictured SpongeBob SquarePants after being sucked in by Nithyananda's tantric practices.

You, Ex-293, (demoted Swami) Nithyananda, are just about ready to pull up that anchor and hoist away. But not so fast there, Sri Nithyananda. Is there more trouble brewing for you in India?

Salami Nithyananda, we haven't seen you in ages. Is there any truth behind those rumors that the Indian police, both the Tamil Nadu and Karnataka authorities want to question you, Oh Great One? Why just look at this YouTube video here:

Sex Swami Nithyananda Hunted by Indian Police

Gee, Salamander Nithyananda, those authorities are real party-poopers. Don't they know that this is the year 2012, and 12-12-12 will only come once every thousand years? Of course, 4:20 only comes twice every day, but that's completely different story. Anyway, when you were still 293, a.k.a. The Junior Pontiff of Madurai, your holy tour guide operations booked that tour on a big cruise ship. Your videos taunted this 108 times greater than past Inner Awakening (I.A.) programs. And, those killjoy cynics agree that this could be true. They say zero times a hundred and eight is still an empty shell; 108 x 0 = 0. But, those snarky targets to be destroyed missed. Luckily, there's still lots of old, wealthy people in the U.S. who only get their news for old-school newspapers. So, when their aging aches and pains get so bad and realize that medicare isn't going to cover them, then they're susceptible to being lured into your temples for healing. Then the fleecing begins. But, even if these desperate folks, who are longing to feel the vigor of youth again without doing any spiritual work of their own, dump their entire nest egg to help pay for all your lawyers and false lawsuits and bogus criminal charges against real victims, they are helping humanity. Yes, Parmesan Nithyananda, they are helping a rare and enlightened avatar save himself. And, that's a really good thing.

So what are you going to do, Sri Nithyananda? If you don't go on that cruise, not only do you loose out on all that money, the last bunch of wealthy westerners are not going to believe you. And, if you do go on that tour, you have a chance to build credibility back with at least those that have $10,000 less dollars to give to you again, but they might have more hidden under their mattresses. You, Salami Nithyananda, do like mattresses, don't you? So, you must go. There's no turning back. But, what if the authorities try to stop you, Oh Holy Tour Guide, Nithyananda? You, Sri Nithyananda, being an authentic Kal Bhairava Impersonator, and a damn good one at that, will you blow them away like you threatened to do to that blogger? Will it look a little like this video?

Kal Bhairava Impersonator, Nithyananda, Will Blow the Authorities Away

Gee, Parmesan Nithyananda, we don't know if that is such a good idea blowing away people like that, even if they try to stop you. After all, airports and other places all have security cameras, and you, Oh Great Avatar, Nithyananda, might get caught on film. Besides being the next viral video, the police might try to use it as evidence. Besides, claiming that you, Salami Nithyananda, are the real Kal Bhairva Impersonator and eliminating people as if you're a super-human bug zapper might not help your image as a spiritual leader who is grounded in ahimsa (non-violence). Perhaps a tactic like this one below will get better results:

Sex Swami Nithyananda Unleashes His Cult Minions

Yes, Sri Nithyananda, that will create a great diversion. Just like when Sri Hakkul, the snake charmer, released all his poisons snakes when the tax department allegedly tried to extort bribes from him. Salamander Nithyananda, you can unleash even greater powers. You, ex-293, have plenty of disposable minions, like Ma Nithya Achalananda, just waiting to spew her venom on anyone who speaks ill of her self-proclaimed, God Incarnate Master, (that's you, Sri Nithyananda.)

Staunch Sex Swami Nithyananda follower, Ma Nithya Achalananda, embodies her master's teachings and meditation techniques. Even under adversity, she's ready to express her tantric master's enlightenment in the most serene and calm ways. (Just add anti-venom.)

Even though that tactic would create a diversion, which would allow you, King of Tantra, Nithyananda, the opportunity to slip right past the immigration officers, it might take its toll. Obviously, the authorities would scoop up the likes of Ma Nithya Achalananda, and place her in a nice glass jar. (By the way, Sri Nithyananda, was she one of the many followers who were arrested back in June 2012 during your press release riot? Just asking.) After a while, Sri Nithyananda, even your bravest and most brainwash followers will either be safe under police custody, or dare might we say, have new fear strokes which will prevent them from doing such divine service in your holy name. So, this tactic of unleashing your followers might work in the short term, but it might not be so sustainable. We need to scale up come up with a plan 'B'. How about this video, Parmesan Nithyananda?

Scaly Swami Nithyananda Rrrrroars His Way Across International Borders

We think this is perfect for you, Oh Holy One. You can dress up like a T-Rex. Then certainly all the authorities will be scared, but secretly admire you. They let you pass right on by, without asking for your passport. After all, T-Rex don't need passports. Best of all, you can be your scaly, nasty, flesh-eating self, and you'll still be loved! You, Sri Nithyananda, won't even have to make sentences. Just grunt in the same rude way you did to your ashramites when you were not pleased with them. No more charades and pretending to be in touch with higher-consciousness. No more B.S. Just pure, straight-to-the point T-Rex awareness. The best thing of all, Ex-293 Nithyananda, is that no one, except for us, will know that it is you under that costume. Your holier than thou reputation will be saved, Sri Nithyananda!

Salamander Nithyananda, we did think of one problem that you might face. Even if you do manage to get into Singapore without issue, you still have to get out. And, if your loving followers posted pictures of you on your website that show the authorities where to look, it might be even harder to give them the slip when you exit Singapore. And, since we noticed that your next Inner Awakening (I.A.) Program starts in January 16, 2012 in your ashram in Bidadi, you will have to be there. The pressure is on, Sri Nithyananda. What are you going to do next?

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Part 2: Nithyananda's Inner Awakening: $20,000 Out of Our League & Under the Sea of Debt

In our last blog post, Part 1: Nithyananda Goes Cruising for Bruising, 2012 Style, we did free marketing advertising for the rare and living avatar, Sri Nithyananda Swami, and his 2012 Holiday Edition of Living Enlightenment, a 21-day meditation retreat where participants will become as enlightened as Thee Great (former) Future Pharaoh of Madurai, Parmesan Nithyananda, (or at least they believe they will become like Him real soon).

After being inundated with all the multi-level marketing hype, our bloggers feel hook, line, and sinker to be with the ultimate stinker, Salamander Nithyananda, and they were begging him to take them along his ultimate 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment.

Don't touch that mouse button.... the worst is yet to be revealed!

Sex Swami Nithyananda Sinks to the Bottom of Scandelous Sea; Cashes in on 2012 Fear & Hires Tainted Cruise to Keep More Profits
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Salami Nithyananda, let us join you, Oh Great One, for your 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment while sailing the Seven Seas of chakra imbalance. We promise to behave ourselves, this time, for sure. We'll be glad to do anything like peel potatoes and slave away with no sleep for hours on end, just like we did when we lived in your ashram. We're even willing to change your bedsheets after each hourly tantric session you have. "Vraaap!!!" Oopsie, Sorry there, Sri Nithyananda, we forgot how you feel about having anyone in your room these days, other than a recent hot IA graduate who has been pinned down by you, King Nithyananda.

We have an idea there, Sri Nithyananda. Since you, Parmesan Nithyananda, will only have about 200 participants and this particular cruise ship has 964 cabins (about 2,000 passenger capacity), surely there will be other tourists on this cruise that are not Inner Awakening participants. Now, could you, Sri Nithyananda, kindly tell us the name of the tour company so we can book tickets as plain tourists? [dead silence].

OK, Salami Nithyananda. Since you once deemed us enlightened too, we'll have to use our former enlightened powers even though you revoked our certificates a long time ago. Let's see, is this your advertisement banner, Sri Nithyananda, for the 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment on a luxury cruise?:

Fork over $10,000 a pop and you'll be enlightened just like Sex Swami Nithyananda

That sure looks exactly like this photo here. Salami Nithyananda, did you get permission to use this picture? We sure hope you did. Here it is now:

Rent this cruise ship by the hour, and get a FREE pass into the executive Jacuzzi

...which was found on the the Friendly Planet Travel Website:

http://www.friendlyplanet.com/cruise-ships/costa-victoria.html

The Friendly Planet revealed that the ship's name was the Victoria, and the cruise company was the Costa. Yep, same bright yellow smoke stacks. Now, Salami Nithyananda, if we just, er, cruise over to the Costa Cruise website and search for Victoria, we think we found our match. Bull's eye.

http://www.costacruise.com/usa/costa_victoria.html

But, just to make sure, Salamander Nithyananda, we found a picture very similar to this one that was up in your registration site:

A taste of Singapore's seaport of embarkation

But, lucky for us, it really was a very large image just sized small in HTML code. This sloppy web design allowed us to see the image up close and personal. Look, Sri Nithyananda, here's some of the signage to the right:

Costa Cruise Port in Singapore. Line up to board the cruise ship, The Victoria

Bingo. Now we are absolutely sure that at least you, Parmesan Nithyananda, are advertising that your cruise liner will be Costa Cruise and that the ship name will be The Victoria. Come to think about it, Salami Nithyananda, as paranoid as you are, and as many police authorities are after you, wouldn't it make sense that you didn't have all this information so readily available on your website? After all, you, Sri Nithyananda, made it as simple as a tantric sleight of the hand in the bedroom for the Singapore Police, the Immigration Authorities, anyone, even us, to find you. Tag. You're it.

Sex Swami Nithyananda gets more than he pawed for. Tagged. He's a twit.

Gee, Salami Nithyananda, why in tarnation would you chose Costa Cruise for your 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment?

Costa Cruise Tours: The only choice for rare, living enlightened avatars.

Didn't Costa Cruise already have its own 2012 experience early this year? And, are you, Parmesan Nithyananda, suppose to save your followers and not drown them? Well, drowning them in debt is fair game, as long as you, Sri Nithyananda, get their cash. But, just look at these pictures:

Costa Cruise, it's not just a vacation, it's an adventure to your last breath.

Get breathtaking views with Costa Cruises.

Costa Cruises: An experience you'll always remember (pending survival).

Costa Cruises: A shortcut to heaven.

Costa Cruises: Feel one with the sea.

Salamander Nithyananda, it sees that all the problems for Costa Cruises started earlier this year in January 2012, where captain for Costa Cruises ran the ship into a big rock near a port in Italy. Let's take a look at some of the headlines, shall we?

• BBC News: Italy cruise ship Costa Concordia: Search for missing
• The Telegraph: Cruise disaster: three confirmed dead and 69 passengers still missing

And a few YouTube videos about Costa Cruises:

9 out of 10 Enlightened Masters Prefer Costa Cruises for Their Instant Enlightenment Programs

Sex Swami Nithyananda Promises to do the Death Meditation During His 2012 Cruise

Oh no, Salami Nithyananda, these stories about Costa Cruises don't look very good. But, it was so nice of you, Oh Great One, to give them a second chance. Just like you, Sri Nithyananda, their image was unjustly tarnished, especially like that poor misunderstood captain, Francesco Schettino, of the Concordia who claims that he abandoned the ship with hundreds of passengers still on and needing to be rescued because he accidentally fell into a lifeboat. That sounds like the same bad luck that you, Sri Nithyananda, had getting filmed in bed with Ranjitha while you were sick, under trance, experimenting, and being medically attended by her. If Captain Francesco Schettino is out of jail and is the captain of your cruise tour, perhaps you, Oh Tantric Master of the Universe, Salami Nithyananda and Captain Francesco Schettino can have a drink or two and exchange stories about the vilifying press and everyone out to discredit you. Such victims in this modern age.

Parmesan Nithyananda, did Costa Cruises give you a big discount for selecting them? Or were they so desperate for passengers that Costa Cruises gave into all your demands? Have a fire ritual on the deck? Sure. Seclude the pool for an enlightenment session? No problem. Cordon off one of the jacuzzis exclusively for your tantric practices? Consider it done. Schedule young housekeeping staff (male or female) to enter your room wearing sexy French maid outfits? They are suiting up now. Rename the ship to the Nithya Victoria-ananda? It's being painted as you speak. We're sure that Costa Cruise will do anything to have, you, Salami Nithyananda, a rare and enlightened living avatar to energize their image.

In addition to the right price and concessions, perhaps you, Salamander Nithyananda, might find Costa Cruises just a perfect fit to your style of business. Looking at the news feeds, there's allegations of sex, womanizing, sexual abuse, drugs, drinking, and other de facto modes of life within your organization. Gee, the whole crew of the now named Nithya Victoria-ananda might be ready to start doing foot washing rituals and bowing down in every direction to you, Sri Nithyananda. Hmmmmm. This might work out just fine. But, we'll keep our life preservers on, just in case.

To be continued... Same Nithya Cult Time, Same Nithya Cult Channel.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Part 1: Nithyananda Goes Cruising for Bruising, 2012 Style

Holy Tour Guide Sex Swami Nithyananda Charges His Followers $10,000 U.S.D. Each for a Luxury Cruise with a 2012 Spirituality Theme
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? OK, we know that you, Salami Nithyananda, have disappeared. What has it been, 49 days missing from your ashram in Bidadi and 51 days on Twitter? Time does fly. But, the holy 2012 holiday edition of Living Enlightenment for all your rich and lucky followers to fork over $10,000.00 U.S.D. each, that's still on? Boy, that must be some date. 12-12-12. Hmmmm. That's 6-6-6 times two. Very auspicious indeed.

And, where will this 2012 / 12-12-12 holiday edition of Living Enlightenment be held, Parmesan Nithyananda? On a luxury cruise ship? Wow, none of your followers ever have to rough it like you did during your alleged wandering sanyasi (monk) years. You, Sri Nithyananda, remember... where you did all those legendary things barefooted for 10 year, then it was revised down to six years, but you were really hanging out at the Ramakrishna Mutt the whole time. But, back to your tour guide duties, Mr. Nithyananda.... we bet that the cruise ship is full of amenities. Let's look on your site... there's an indoor and an outdoor pool, open bars, gym, a disco, dining and snack facilities, sunbathing, yoga mats, and plenty of private beds, which makes it the perfect get away for spiritual training and instant enlightenment.

Gee, King Nithyananda, you are so resourceful. Even though you have been banished from the Holy Brothel of Bidadi and the land-rich vacation villa of Madurai Adheenam, you, Oh Great One, have found away to still conduct Inner Awakening, and do so on a luxury cruise line. We bet all those ancient saddus (renunciant monks) from the past would just turn green in envy (or maybe in disgust). Lots of followers, lots of luxury. Why even L. Ron Hubbard of Scientology fame along with his Sea Organization would find this too good to be true.

Oh, Holy Tour Guide, let's tune into a few of your promotional videos, shall we?

Nithyananda's Canned Inner Awakening; Just Add Coins

That very sincere and almost human voice surely convinces us that signing up for Inner Awakening will be the right thing to do. Gee, Sri Nithyananda, we always went about getting more energy the wrong way. In the past, we tried chugging coffee to get 1,300 percent more energy, but now just by attending, we'll get the same results. Totally percolating! And, even though we don't have all those diseases that that coin-operated machine mentioned, we do have about six of them. Can we still attend? We can't wait to be hugged by you, Sri Nithyananda. Feel our embrace.

And, look, here's the 2012 Holiday Edition of Inner Awakening. So nice of that human plant, Mr. Subramaniam, from San Jose, California to stage you, Salami Nithyananda, a slow ball to hit out of the ballpark. Gee, Mr. Subramaniam made you look like Barry Bonds. Totally authentic. And, Sri Nithyananda, you do remember San Jose, do you? We bet it brings up blissful engrams in your bio-memory. Let's watch you answer Mr. Subramaniam's sincere question now, shall we?

Nithyananda Sells the Sizzle of Inner Awakening

Wow, Your X-celency (X-293) Salami Nithyananda, from this video we learned that during your Akashic Readings, 10,000 Nithyananda's are expressing through one Nithyananda body. Boy, won't some lucky room service lady get jolt that night. And, attending this December 2012 Inner Awakening will be equal to attending 108 Inner Awakenings. Golly, Sri Nithyananda, your multi-level marketing efforts will just soar! All those lucky graduates who already forked over thousands of dollars for a past Inner Awakening program will gladly fork over an additional $10K per head. Add airfare, accommodations, and required donations afterwards, and the price can easily go up to $15,000.00 U.S.D. per person. A family of four might be out $60,000. Add in lost income, spent vacation, and additional travel costs, and these families will be ready to be true sanyasis, that's if you, Sri Nithyananda, count having big debt and no means to pay it off the same as freedom. We hope none of your followers had to quit their jobs just to attend this auspicious occasion. Then again, if the world ended, and only they survived, then all that cash might have been well spent. Sri Nithyananda, if your followers were the only ones to survive a 2012 disaster, will this cause a new species to occur on planet earth or will dumb apes just get a new makeover?

And, this next video of yours, Parmesan Nithyananda, is the grand finale! Now, we want to join that cruise with all our pocketbook!

Nithyananda's Infomercial: Inner Awakening in Cruise Control

Yes! That's our favorite video of yours, Oh Great One, Ex-293, Fired Pontiff Nithyananda. That music is really rock'n. Is it the sound track of the Disco Omen? Let's quote some of your pearls of wisdom, shall we?:

"The visualizations are getting processed in your brain without instigating any verbalization." (Hmmm. Does that mean you, Sri Nithyananda, will shut up and just let us have some peace?)

"And without getting converted as verbalization. That is the state that I call exactly as restful awareness."

"Between December 12-12-12 and January 2nd, 2013, the whole world is going to experience this space."

Hmmmm. There's a small problem here, Salamander Nithyananda. If the whole world is going to experience this state, then why do us followers have to pay $10,000 a pop just to be around you, Oh Great One? Couldn't they just stay home, save all that money and time and get the same spiritual benefits? And, take a simple nonverbal communications skills tip from us. Next time, you, Sri Nithyananda, might not want to circumnavigate your ear with your index finger. We know that you, Salami Nithyananda, were only demonstrating the processing of your brain, but well, it has a certain regional meaning in the U.S. It's just crazy; maybe you, Mr. Nithyananda, are just giving us a visualization without needing to verbalize anything.

And, what about all those empty seats in the video spinning around the ship's facilities? Aren't these seats supposed to be filled? Even if you, King Nithyananda, make the Kamalakars happy and invite Clint Eastwood (a renown, but not so respected Republican), he can only utilize one empty chair. But, there's a whole sea of them. Hmmmm... is this the prelude to another mystery of mysteries? A real who-done-it? Suspense.

And, Sri Nithyananda, we can't wait to learn more about this cruise ship and the cruise line and everything! Can we come, and be a regular passenger like the other tourists on the ship? We promise not to get in the way, and only use the swimming pool after you enlightened everyone inside there. Can we? Please!!!!!!

To be continued...

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.

Nithyananda Breaks Trust and Then Tries to Grab It Back

Grabba! Grabba! Hey! Sex Swami Nithyananda Fights Back to Regain His Misbegotten Trust from Madurai Adheenam
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Where are you? Salami, can you hear me? Do you, Parmesan Nithyananda still have super-natural, super-human, bona fide and certified avatar powers?

Geez. We're a bit worried there, Sri Nithyananda. That other blog, Stand Up for Dharma and against Nithyananda, is having a field day stating that you've been absconding from the law for over 43 days... And, look, Salami Nithyananda, you're Twitter feed has been idle for over 48 days and counting.

Sex Swami Nithyananda's last tweet of true wisdom was on October 17, 2012. 48 days of yore.

Being the Biggest Loudmouth Guru in the whole world wide web, it's like you, Sri Nithyananda have given up. Why even pictures on your website, Oh Great One, are void of your greatness. Are you, Parmesan Nithyananda, banned from entering your own holy sanctuary also known as the Great Brothel of Bidadi? Tsk. Tsk. This banishment really shows on the faces of your once happy followers. There seems far fewer of them now, and their faces look so unblissful... long even. Deprived.

Sri Nithyananda, we hate to admit this, but we're beginning to lose our trust in you. What's this? Salamander Nithyananda, your trust with Srila Sri Arunagirinatha Sri Jnanasambandha Desika Paramacharya Swamigal (also known as criminal 292) is dissolved? So, there's no trust left? Well, it said so right here in your favorite news channel, the Deccan Herald:

Trust Formed by Nithyananda Dissolved

Oh my gosh, Sri Nithyananda, was that your trust with Criminal 292 to 'manage' all the properties that were donated to the Madurai Adheenam over 1,500 years? Gee, there seems to be a whole different world of responsibilities that a publicly avowed renunciant has to be subjected to. We guess that's part of your teachings, Salamander Nithyananda. After all, you Parmesan Nithyananda taught us that if we could just unclutch, all this wealth will just come to us with no effort at all. Too bad there, Sri Nithyananda, it's all left you now. Gone. Imagine if there was a fire sale and all those properties were sold, you, Salami Nithyananda, would have enough cash to fund your lawyers and high-flying publicist pimp, Dale Bhagwagar, for at least two more years.

Golly, Parmesan Nithyananda, please give us a sign that you're OK. We know that you, Oh Great One, don't care a rats seat about us, or anyone one of your followers, so we won't even ask. After all, it's all about you, The All Knowing Avatar of Everything. So, please, Salamander Nithyananda, give us a sign that you're OK.

Oh, look, Sri Nithyananda, you appeared on YouTube on December 2, 2012! A holy aspiration! We're saved!

Sex Swami Nithyananda realizing that he ate too many chickpeas for lunch.

Sex Swami Nithyananda eyes a potential new room service lady from the two-way mirror communication.

Sex Swami Nithyananda reflects upon his future court dates for aggravated & organized rape, fraud, tax evasion, money laundering, and being a public nuisance.

But, here on YouTube on December 2, 2012, you did manifest yourself. It sure looks like you, Salami Nithyananda, but where's you're 24K golden throne? You're 24K bling? You're once ever expanding flock of fawning room service ladies fanning you with ostrich feathers like some Egyptian Pharaoh?

King Nithyananda, the once Future Pharaoh of Madurai, proudly shows off his royal trappings

Bummer, Mr. Nithyananda. Looks like you've downsized. Why you, Salami Nithyananda, don't even have proper lighting from your camera crew. Looks like we're back to those terrorist quality videos of April 2010, you remember, Sri Nithyananda, right before you were arrested.

We're concerned, Sri Nithyananda. Really. With all this scaling back and downsizing, how are you, Oh Great Avatar, going to convince worldly people that you're worthy of donating their life savings and slaving away if you look so simple and humble, like without all that gold and no longer situated in a Bollywood production studio? Spiritual naifs are expecting a lot of glitter, flash, and vibhooti (holy ash) manifesting before their very own eyes. That's spirituality to them. Forget about activating their intelligence, listening to the inner-conscious, doing the right thing in spite of social pressures, etc. That stuff will not land you, Salamander Nithyananda, hefty donations.

Hmmmmm. There must be a way that you, Sri Nithyananda, can scale back but still attract quite a following and lure more room service ladies into your your liar. We know, Parmesan Nithyananda, you can have it all with chocolate! Yes, chocolate is a lot cheaper than gold, and you can lure ladies, children, and even some men with just chocolate. That way, you know longer have to compete with the likes of worldly renown womanizers like Sri Sri Ravishankar. Instead, you, Salami Nithyananda, will have to compete with the Cadbury's and even Willy Wonka. Of course, you, Oh Great Rununciant, do not want to be known as Wonka Willy. That is not original and would add confusion to your already tarnished image. But, you, Sri Nithyananda, could build a whole new ashram completely out of chocolate and save tons on the building cost and call it Hershey's Castle. (See, the name 'her' and 'she' is already in the honorific name and will just attract ladies like a magnet.) And, don't even get us started about Hershey's Kisses. Parmesan Nithyananda, you'll make out like a bandit.

Sex Swami Nithyananda will soon be competing with the likes of Willy Wonka as the cash-strapped renunciant uses chocolate to lure in new followers and raise funds to support his lavish lifestyle.

Really, Sri Nithyananda, this really just doesn't seem like you. You, Mr. Nithyananda, have that fighting spirit. That's why fellow criminal, 292, justified bringing you, Salami Nithyananda, on board as 293. But, now we see you just retreated into secluded isolation. As if you, Oh Great Kal Bhairava Impersonator, are just lying low hoping the law authorities will just forget you.

But, wait, what's this here, Sri Nithyananda? We can't believe our eyes! Published here, in the friendly press of The Hindu:

Nithyananda Raises Objections to Madurai Adheenam Suit

Hooray for Parmesan Nithyananda! This will guarantee in a protracted lawsuit, one which you, Sri Nithyananda, will triumph. There's no way that 292 can hold out and fight such a lawsuit, and your lawyers have well honed skills of twisting facts, creating stories, planting evidence, and flat out lying, with the help of kitty-faced witnesses who have perfected the art of crying on demand. In just a few years, you, Salami Nithyananda, will not only have all his property, but will be 293.2. Everyone will be bowing down to you again, Oh Great One, but we will bow down to you now.

Update: December 6, 2012:

Golly, Sri Nithyananda, no sooner than we push the publish button, you and your team of lawyers filed more legal documents. Look here, as published in The Hindu:

Nithayananda Files Injunction

Good move, Salami Nithyananda. You raised objections to the Adheenam’s suit and bought yourself some more time. Look! You are so holy that you, Parmesan Nithyananda, included an Interim Prayer. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, now we're assured that you still are holy and pure.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.