Close Your Eyes to Nithyananda's Latest Criminal Charges Until He Gets a Chance to Open His Mouth
Jai Paramahamsa Sri, Sri Nithyananda Ki Jai!
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? "Wababawababa". Oh, dear, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, there isn't a Gruntanese translator nearby, but we can see that you're not happy. Rest assured, Swami Nithyananda, Oh Teller of Truth, we will only broadcast Your message from now on. Yes, in the past, we were snarky and sarcastic, but we were mislead. We thought that you, Sri Nithyananda, were not a true living avatar or even enlightened. We thought you were just a common criminal doing uncommon crimes. But, no more. Our eyes are open and whatever message you broadcast, no matter how inane, we'll also broadcast. Take those most recent criminal charges. Yes, those that accuse you of multiple rape against a male suspect and children. We saw your message about how everyone should keep quiet on your ENTV YouTube Channel video, and look, here it is now:
Yes, we agree, Swami Nithyananda. You haven't received your official copy of the chargesheet (indictment papers) about the charges of multiple rape with a male, children, and another lady. So until that time, Sri Nithyananda, we respect your wishes and ask everyone not to even think about reading any of the latest published news articles about Nithyananda's latest sex crimes until Paramahamsa Nithyananda Himself can clarify, and elaborate, and even embellish them in one of his elaborate press conferences.
Stay Away From These News Articles or You Will be SORRY!:
- Daily Bhaskar: 'Swami Nithyananda also had sexual relations with a man'
- Deccan Herald: CID files additional charge sheets against Nithyananda
- DNA Daily News & Analysis: CID gets proof to nail Swami Nithyananda
- ZEENEWS.com: Additional chargesheet against Nithyananda filed
- Hindustan Times (Karnataka): Additional chargesheet against Nithyananda filed in another case
Yes, Paramahamsa Nithyananda. We remember just about a month ago, you, Oh Holy One, declared to be Lord Kal Bhairava (Lord Shiva) and Maha Kali (Divine Mother), and that if anyone who made fun of you or went against you would have his or head cut off and destroyed. Wow, now, we don't think Lord Kal Bhairava (Lord Shiva) and Maha Kali (Divine Mother) actually would do these things, but we know that you, Swami Nithyananda, would definitely do these acts of violence... or at least have some of your thuggish followers do it for you (and make it look like an accident, like falling down two stories just like that Canadian did during December 2008). Therefore, we're petrified to think what would happen if any one actually read those news articles. Please, readers, don't read those stories linked above. Even though each link opens a new browser window, it will mean certain doom to you. Warning! Bad things will happen to you if you read these news articles! For the sake of humanity, just don't do it!!!
OK, Swami Nithyananda, that was a close one. By the way, we're looking forward to hearing your explanations and special insights to these latest criminal sex charges. We remember two years ago, you, Oh Embodiment of Wisdom, when confronted about those allegations of doing bedside tantra with Ranjitha Menon, you said:
"I was not feeling well, and she was taking care of me."Then later, you, Sri Nithyananda, said:
"I was experimenting."
"I was under trance."
"That wasn't me."But, Ranjitha Menon, your unemployed failed film actress and tantra partner, also said:
"That wasn't me."We believe all of these statements, Paramahamsa Nithyananda. We honestly do. But, it leaves us a bit confused, if not a little bit entertained. Now that we come back to you, Swami Nithyananda, as your devoted followers, we're once again staying up all hours listening to all your YouTube lectures, we're Tweeting about you that you are the Holy Avatar, that will save the world and cut off anyone's head that makes fun of you, we're monitoring your Wikipedia page to make sure that no one tampers with the Truth as it is displayed there, we'e chanting for hours on end all your official mantras where we simply replace Lord Shiva's name with your name, etc. But, we confess, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, every now and then we get these little doubts like if you really are a true avatar that will save the world, why are you being charged for raping men, women, and minors? Is this something that a real avatar will do? Should we continue to support you, Sri Nithyananda, even though everyone at work and our neighbors and family all make fun of us for supporting you, Oh Holy One? These thoughts just keep creeping in, and it is creeping us out. What should we do, Sri Nithyananda?
Oh, just ask, and you, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, give us the right answer. On the same ENTV YouTube Channel video:
Great! At the end of our lives, only our heart is going to save us, not our mind! Yes!, Yes!, Yes! We want to get enlightened. We'll do anything to get enlightened, especially your type of enlightenment, Swami Nithyananda. Being in jail and getting Truths is way cool. And, of course, our minds will lose power when we die and our minds are only maya (illusion). Our minds our not only useless, but will stop us from getting your type of enlightenment. Therefore, any thoughts that come from the mind are bad! bad! bad! So, we get it now; all these thoughts wondering if you, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, are really enlightened or really a true avatar, is just more mind games. We'll be sure to suppress any more of these types of thoughts again and only let our heart dictate us. Yes, Swami Nithyananda, we just love you with all our hearts (but not our minds), and we just love compassionate ways, your violent threats, and your big ear-to-ear grin. It reminds us of a big pet snake we had when we were young. Ahhhh... But, that snake did eat the neighbor's yappy little Chihuahua dog. Collar and all. Oh, well, no one is perfect. Not even an enlightened crocodile-grinning avatar.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against '