Tantric Contract with the Devil, a.k.a. Fraud-God Nithyananda, License for Sex

'Swami' Nithyananda's Secret in Keeping Victims from Testifying - Just Sign Here.

Summary:
Hey, crooks of the world. If you want to pose as a holy person and defraud people of their wealth, name, lives, and start raping them, here's a starter kit written by the so-called Paramahamsa Nithyananda himself. This is the ten-page tantric sex contract. You can just copy, paste, and change Nithyananda's name to 'Sri Sri Ravi Shankar', Art of Living, 'Kalki Bhagavan', 'Oneness Movement' or by what ever criminal name you are using to pose as a holy man (or women) to have lots of illicit sex and confused, subservient, brainwashed followers. Both Hugh Hefner and Rev. Jim Jones would be jealous of such a tool, and it's yours absolutely free. Just click on the link below:

Download Nithyananda's Original Tantric Sex Contract Now

(2MB PDF)

note: PDF file opens up in new window/tab. Alternatively, right click the link and save target/content as a PDF file.

and start screwing over innocent people today!

For the rest of us honest folks who don't want harm people or see any one else harmed or defrauded, you may also download this unholy contract and find out just how diabolical 'Swami' Nithyananda and his inner-circle of criminals really are. Please pass this contract on to all of your family, friends, associates, co-workers, neighbors, etc. so that they do not fall into 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's trap and prevent others from falling into his trap.

Also, you might want to pass this sex contract on to local police, mayors, council members, district attorneys, sheriff offices, local, state, and national politicians including governors, attorney generals, state and national representatives (Congress) and state and national Senators, etc. to let them know how evil Nithyananda's organization is and that it is full of criminals trying to lure innocent people into a life of bondage of multiple forms. Be sure to say how much you want these criminals to be placed behind bars. But, don't stop there. Also forward this sex contract to local community members such as presidents of temples, board members of temples, pastors, priests, clergymen, churches, synagogues, etc. and let them know that criminal activities are lurking in their backyards under a holy mask.

But, don't stop there. Post this tool for brainwashing in as many forums, websites, blogs, Wikipedia sites, etc. as possible. Make it easy for anyone to see the real evil side of the Life Bliss Foundation, Vedic Temple, and Nithyananda Foundation. These cult criminals are trying very hard to offer 'free' meditation, yoga, food, etc. But it bait to be their sex slaves. It is everyone's responsibility to make it easy so that no one ever loses a loved one to this absolutely wretched man and wicked organization.

And finally, thank you, criminal supporters from the cult of Nithyananda who keep on posting low quality comments on our blog in favor of supporting your favorite holy rapist, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Especially to the poster from Fremont, who uses a MAC, has an IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), and whose Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai, you have inspired us to go on with this blog, just when we were ready to call it quits. We're sure that your beloved sex-fiend of a guru, 'Swami' Nithyananda, will thank you dearly for your inspiration. We will fight harder and name the names of anyone who still supports this criminal because those people are also criminals. As long as we are alive, we will keep on fighting.

Here's the blog story:

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Congratulations. After getting caught, errr, red-handed romping around with a married film actress on a video that is certified proven to be genuine and spending nearly two months in jail, you got out on bail, without a single lady testifying against you. Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We know the count of ladies receiving your tantric wisdom and direct energy was in the hundreds if not in the thousands. We thought that once your backside was in the cooler, that at least one of them would speak up against you and confirm in a criminal complaint what we saw happening in those videos. So, how did you shut up all those violated ladies? Really, 'Swami' Nithyananda, husbands around the world would love to know your secret. Those husbands have problems with just one lady, but you hand hundreds of them. And, they all kept quiet. If you're ever allowed to lecture again, this would be topic that men would actually be willing to pay to hear you speak. But, let's not digress any further, how did you do it?

Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, it didn't help matters any that the police didn't assign another lady officer, one with some counseling skills, to confide with all of your violated ladies. After all, these officers just know how to bust down doors with guns blazing, not to discuss how you managed to abuse their personal parts with your personal parts, in the name of tantra ritual. The police are good people, but they just didn't have the skill set. Too bad. And, yes, the glare of the media was rather strong too. Even for a sometimes-married, attention deprived has-been horny actress turned whore, that media blitz turned out to be too strong for even her or for your for that matter. But, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, still seem to relish in being the most watched scandal on YouTube. But, these factors couldn't be the full story. So, what is your secret, 'Swami' Nithyananda? Could you give us a hint or a sign? Oh, that's it, a signature, as in a vow never to tell. Sri Nithyananda, you could write a good book about that story.

Speaking of which, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, did you read any good books lately? Even literature with the fine print? Really? Speaking of fine, print, we got a chance to get a peak, ooops, poor choice of words, we mean a glimpse of that 10-page contract that you make all your participants sign. Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that's a lot of pages to make people sign. For an 'enlightened' healing master, you sure want to keep your legal assets all in check. So, does this mean, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that an 'enlightened' healing master runs the show or some lawyer?

We have to agree that most of the document is full of legalese and clauses that make it very clear that anyone who signs document will think that they are up the legal system with a paddle if they even remotely think about suing you for damages. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, let's take a look at some of the legal mumbo jumbo, shall we?:

By reading and signing the addendum, Volunteer irrevocably acknowledges that he/she is voluntarily giving his unconditional acceptance of such activities and discharges the Leader (Nithyananda) and the Foundation, and anyone else not specifically mentioned here but directly or indirectly involved in the organization, management, or conduct of any such programs from any liability, direct or indirect, arising from such activities. (Page nine, last sentence in paragraph 1, A3)

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You got all of your signed room-services ladies to agree to that? Was it because they were fatigued from reading the other eight pages before they came to the ninth page? Well, let's see how it starts out.

On page one, you proudly display in all caps, "DHYANAPEETA CHARITABLE TRUST" Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, charitable and trust, all in the first page. Why we would sure feel confident that this contract was just a mere legal procedure from a trusting and charitable organization in this day in age.

Then, on page two, you state:

"Volunteer understands that he/she is voluntarily applying for the "Learning from the Master" Program ("Program") conducted by the Foundation. Volunteer declares that to promote the immense benefit to him as a person and his life in general, and with a deep desire to achieve fruition of his spiritual quest, he/she is voluntarily offering his commitment of time and effort to serve, to volunteer, and to spread the mission of Sri Nithyananda Swami ("Leader"), the Foundation and other sister organizations of the Foundation."

So you make it look like everything is for the benefit of the person signing this contract. Nice. We're sure these signers will certainly learn something more than they intended.

Then goes to 'Confidential' anything and everything:

"... whether written, oral, or observed."

And, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, fully define 'Confidential Information' with a half page of mumbo jumbo that includes life styles, forms, ideas, experiences, guests, security system, etc. We think that living behind the iron curtain wasn't so secret and scary as this.

Then your contract goes off that the volunteer may not use any of the confidential materials or information. And make it clear that even the thoughts in someone's head as well as any tangible things like notes, drawings, photos, etc. are confidential' and not able to be shared. This includes writing anything or sharing anything with anyone on this planet for god-forbid, a book, an article, a video. Anything. And if anything gets leaked out, then the contract says that anyone who knows this knowledge must help 'cooperate' to prevent this unauthorized usage. Wow, we wonder what you mean by 'cooperate'? Does that mean you will try to pit other participants against anyone who might have a notion of questioning your motives or behavior? Since you get families to attend, would you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda get other family members to go against their own loved ones in order to maintain this shroud of secrecy? Sounds like brainwashing 101 if you ask us, 'Swami' Nithyananda, but we promise not to tell. Honest.

Then an article five, on pages four through five, your contract states:

"Volunteer acknowledges that the Foundation desires to restrict the disclosure of the existence and the details of its and Leader's relationship with the Volunteer. Therefore, Volunteer hereby agrees that Volunteer shall not:

(a) use the name of the Leader or Foundation without the prior written consent of Foundation; or
(b) disclose the existence of this Agreement, the nature of any relationship between Volunteer and Leader and/or Foundation, or any information disclosed to volunteer pursuant to or in relationship to this Agreement or Volunteer's relationship with Leader or Foundation, regardless of whether any of the foregoing are available to the general public."

So, what this means, everything about, concerning, related, imagined about, you 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda is secret.

But wait, now it gets interesting. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda threaten the volunteer. We just love this sentence on page six, article five:

"It is agreed and understood that monetary damages may not be a sufficient remedy for unauthorized disclosure of use of Confidential Information or Confidential Materials or other breach of this Agreement and that in the even of breach or threatened breach of this Agreement either Foundation or Leader shall be entitled, without waiving any other rights or remedies, to such injunctive or equitable relief against Volunteer as may be deemed proper by a court of competent jurisdiction....."

Wow, what a gag order. But, then we all know that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are very adept at bondage, to this world and beyond. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, your contract then says that the volunteer will have to pay and pay and pay if anything you don't like gets out. That there would be no end to their financial burden even if they reveal the brand of toothpaste that you squeeze from the bottom up. Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if it isn't bad enough that you got these people to think that you are a living 'god', then you get the fear of the legal system to hammer them for everything they have if they just inadvertently say a 'peep' about anything at all about you or your fraudulent operations that you don't like. Wow, we bet anyone signing this would be very scared of you, but will be scared that their whole family is going to be hounded until they are completely broken. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, did you get your room service ladies to all sign such a contract? Did they sign it in blood?

Oh, but we see on page five, Section Eight, that you make sure that you have the law on your side and state:

"8. Nothing in this Agreement is intended to restrict the Volunteer from making any disclosures required by the law or legal process."

Nice. Sri Nithyananda, we should give you a big sheriff star for that one. Now, we know that you're a legit charitable organization that's law abiding too. Then you go on Section Eight, pages five through six:

"If Volunteer is required to disclose Confidential Information or Confidential Materials by law or legal process, volunteer must immediately notify Foundation so that Foundation may contest the disclosure and/or seek a protective order."

A protective order? The man who says that He is 'god' himself, threatens a protective order?Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, this sounds like something criminals would say to try to protect their criminal operation. You seem to say that it is OK if someone can come to the law for any 'legal' reasons, but they must notify you and your criminals right away so you can hunt them down and kill them, just like you tried to do with Lenin. Nice. Was this drafted by that lawyer of yours, you know, the one with the scar face? Or, was this the handwork of your legal aids in California, Sri Nithya Jyotirmayananda, a.k.a. Balaji Santhanam, Sri Nithya Sevakananda, a.k.a. Rajesh Krishnan (Gopikas' sometime husband), and that rowdy swami, Sri Nithya Bhaktananda Swami, a.k.a. Gopal Sheelum Reddy?

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, then you really sock it to the signers and say on page six, Article Nine:

"9. Volunteer shall be responsible for any actions of (the) volunteer that create a breach of this Agreement and any breach by (the) Volunteer of (the) Volunteer's obligations as set forth in the Acknowledgement and Agreement. Volunteer shall indemnify (the) Foundation and Leader (Nithyananda) and hold them harmless against any breach by (the) Volunteer of (the) Volunteer's obligations arising from this Agreement."

Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, such big words. Indemnify: to make compensation to for incurred hurt, loss, or damage. So, Sri Nithyananda, how is a 'breach' in this contract determined? Do you and your criminal organization get to decide? This just says that if on a whim, you then make sure this person pays and pays why you are off the hook? Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Could this be seen as a one-sided contract and just in itself be illegal? Who cares, as long as you, 'Swami' Nithyananda can intimidate the person signing and perhaps her (and sometimes his) family, it doesn't really matter. Brainwashing complete.

And then you go on to say that if there is any breach in this agreement it is the Volunteer's fault. After all, they are responsible for their acts, and you are not. Blame the victim, because, 'god' could never be at fault. Furthermore, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, your criminal Foundation(s), and your criminals that run this crime racket are held harmless. Wow, harmless doesn't seem like the correct word when describing you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Perhaps if you said 'harm' and 'less-than-human' then we could be in agreement. So, does that mean if you call up any of those hot young ladies whose parents dragged them to your events and ask them to give you some room service and they refuse, it is now this lady's fault? Wow could they possibly refuse you, 'Swami' Nithyananda after you got them to think that you are a god, after you drugged them, after you used your dark tantric powers, after you got the parents of these young ladies to think that you are a 'god', how you promised them guaranteed 'enlightenment'... how could they refuse? Oh, we get it now... after the tantric rubs off, after the drug effects wear off, after the lady's parents realized they have 'been had' only after all of their possessions are now your possessions, and after the young lady begins to develop some sort of communal disease and realized that you were the source of this disease (or embryo stage of a so-called 'divine' being that was through your so-called 'immaculate' conception), then making sure that the volunteer or young lady knows that it is her fault to begin with and that she will have to face an angry crowd of believers, rowdy swamis (that includes Bhaktananda and Medhananda), criminal secretaries (that's Ayya and Sachitananda), and criminal lawyers in a legal system that seems to be very chummy to you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Good point.

Then in Article Ten on page six the contract clearly says that it is written in stone and can never be changed. And, if there's any disagreement, then you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, get to duke it out in only the Karnataka courts, where we assume you have the 'home team' advantage, which we all know has been well-greased. And, of course, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, have a clause to recover the legal fees. Over a whole page just on that.

But, let's not stop there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Do you think you can beat them into the ground a little bit more? Of course. On Articles Eleven and Twelve on pages six and seven, you go after anyone, especially foreign devotees with these statements:

"11. Except for the right of Foundation or Leader (Nithyananda) to seek equitable or injunctive relief, all disputes arising under this Agreement or relating to its provisions that cannot be informally resolved by the parties shall be submitted to binding arbitration in Karnataka, INDIA in accordance with the then applicable commercial rules of the Arbitration Association and judgment upon an award shall be entered in the Superior Court of the State of Karnataka, INDIA.

12. If any party to this Agreement employees attorneys to enforce any rights arising out of or in relation to this Agreement, the prevailing party shall be entitled to recover reasonable attorney's fees. This Agreement shall be construed and controlled by the laws of the State of KARNATAKA. If any provision of this Agreement shall be held by a court of competent jurisdiction or an arbitrator to be illegal, invalid, or unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect."

This means that unless it suits you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and your criminal organization, any dispute has to be resolved on your home turf, and that there is no way to settle it outside, and it must be settled to your satisfaction. We're sure glad that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are good pals with all those politicians in the state of Karnataka to whom you donate regularly. Therefore, any dispute is going to be very expensive, inconvenient, and very unfair. Slam dunk, you win again, 'Swami' Nithyananda.

But, wait, there's more. On Article 13, page seven, you add one last clause:

"13. All obligations created by this Agreement shall survive termination of any relationship as between the parties and remain in effect in perpetuity."

Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda. By signing this contract, the devotee is signing a document that lasts forever. Isn't marriage suppose to last forever? You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, would never break up a marriage, correct? Well, we have to admit that last part sure makes the contract complete. At this point, 'Swami' Nithyananda, do you collect the volunteers' soul in a jar? We see that you had Ma Nithya Sadhananda a.k.a. Ms. D Jamunarani, sign on your behalf. Does she get a cut of the tantric experience as a result? And, your poor room service lady turned madam, Ma Nithyananda Gopika, a.k.a. Ms. Vidya Viswanathan not only signed the document, but initialed each and every page, as we're sure your lawyer instructed everyone to do.

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. That seems pretty complete. But, what's this? That was just a warm up? You mean, that was something that any Tom, Dick, or Harry would sign if they did your programs as to make sure that they were all intimidated to be sworn to secrecy? Wow, you mean, that was just a warm up exercise? What if a hot yoga chick or a really horny looking housewife came bouncing in? Would you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, make them sign something else? Why look here, it is the Addendum to the Contract. Wow, we get it now. Hot ladies and ready-to-go ladies get a thicker and fatter contract to sign than just the regular folks, except of course, for that dreamy looking stud guy, but you seemed to be a little more selective with those. Anyway, we're sure that since your a bona fide living 'enlightened' healing master that traveled the breadth of India by foot for at least nine, OK, six years all at the Ramakrishna Matt, there won't be any surprises in this Addendum, right? Well, let's take a look. We're sure it's straight forward.

Yes, Article A1 on page eight starts off with the same old, "Nithyananda = Leader" and that the participant cannot do anything against the 'Leader' or the cult, well, you don't call it a cult, but all the Foundations and sister organizations, etc. We've been through all of this.

But, what is this here on Article A2 on page eight?:

"A2. Volunteer represents and warrants that he/she has the right, authority, and the capacity to enter into this Non-Disclosure Agreement and this addendum and to abide by all of the terms and conditions of this agreement. Under penalty of perjury, Volunteer solemnly affirms that he/she is over the age of 18 (21 years old, where 18 is not the age of the majority) and have the legal right to access and possess adult material in his (but not her) community. Volunteer understands the laws and standards set in his (but not her) community and agrees to be solely responsible for his/her own actions. Volunteer also affirms that he/she does not find sexual or adult oriented material associated with the practice of any Tantric rituals or any other adult oriented material to be offensive or objectionable."

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that's quite a bit there. You get right to the down-and-dirty stuff about 'adult' and 'sexual' material. Question for you? If you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are following the Karnataka State laws, then why did you put the prevision of maybe 21 in his (but not her) community? And, we couldn't help but point out that several times that you forgot to mention 'her' but remembered 'his'. Was this omission on purpose? Aren't most (but not all) of your room service ladies, women? Hmmmm. Interesting. Anyway, we see Sri Nithyananda, that you want to make sure that the lady (and sometimes man) is of 'age' and that no matter how much pressure there is to be agreeable to a living 'master' or even avatar, or quite possibly 'god' himself in the form of Krishna, that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, just want to confirm that these ladies (and a few men) are OK with the deep tantric experiments that you are preparing them for. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, is this like stuffing the turkey right before you stick the meat into the oven?

Well, here comes the oven door. Open wide. On page nine, Article A3, you had your choice participants agree to:

"A3. Volunteer understands that the Program may involve the learning and practice of ancient tantric secrets associated with male and female ecstasy, including the use of sexual energy for increased intimacy/spiritual connection, pleasure, harmony, and freedom."

Lucky thing the lawyer remembered to write that this involves learning the practice of "ancient tantric secrets". If not, then this looks like a contract a pimp would make to make sure his hoes were well hemmed in. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, we never remembered the Rishis talking about 'male and female ecstasy' using 'sexual energy' for increased intimacy, pleasure, and freedom. Does that make you a freedom fighter? Hey, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if you were going to practice the Kama Sutra's on these ladies (and a few men) why not come out and say so? Is your 'ancient' tantric practice something different? We don't meant to be killjoys, but when we watched you romping in bed with Ranjintha, that just looked like plain old dirty sex. Were we missing something? Was that really ancient tantric secrets unfolding or was that just body parts unfolding? Wait a minute, there's more, in the same paragraph:

"Volunteer understands that these activities could be physically and mentally challenging, and may involve nudity, access to visual images, graphic visual depictions, and descriptions of nudity and sexual activity, close physical proximity and intimacy, verbal and written descriptions and audio sounds of sexually oriented, and erotic nature, etc."

Wow!!! Mentally and Physically challenging indeed. Up all night with an enlightened pervert-ahamsa! 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you didn't leave anything off this list. Nudity. Images. Graphics. Intimacy. The only thing off this list is morphing, which Sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda, a.k.a. Shiva Vallabhaneni, claimed about your sex videos on YouTube. 'Swami' Nithyananda, do you explain to all of your tantric 'volunteers' about all your toys with batteries in them were really developed by 'enlightened' masters such as yourself to help transform society? And, those handcuffs were original used help seekers reach the ultimate experience?

Sri Nithyananda, we couldn't imagine anything more that's left to be said, but somehow you did. Look, still on the same paragraph:

"By reading and signing this addendum, Volunteer irrevocably acknowledges that he/she is voluntarily giving his (but not her) unconditional acceptance of such activities and discharges the Leader and the Foundation, and anyone else not specifically mentioned here but directly or indirectly involved in the organization, management, or conduct of any such programs from any liability, direct or indirect, arising from such activities."

Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you seek your special volunteers to give their 'unconditional acceptance' for your activities in exchange for your 'unconditional' disposable love? Or was that ancient tantric practices? And, come on, was writing 'discharges the Leader' really necessary? Was there a preposition missing from that sentence? But, looks like you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda just want to make it absolutely clear that no matter what happens, like no matter how much ecstasy, pleasure, and freedom, there is, that there's no way that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, or any of your henchmen (and henchwomen), and anyone else that might have been caught up in this whirl can be held responsible. You, by contract, are complete innocent. Maybe not born innocent, but at least if this contract holds up legally, will be deemed innocent. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, sure like to hammer this point. Why here it is again in Articles A4 and A5, page nine:

"A4. Volunteer certifies that he/she is not suffering from any physical, mental, or psychological disorders or taking any medicines for any physical, mental, or psychological disorders that would interfere with his/her ability to participate in any of the activities of the Foundation.

A5. Volunteer clearly understand and accepts full responsibility for all his/her actions during his/her association with the Leader and the Foundation. Volunteer also waives any and all rights that he/she/she (she is mentioned twice) may have to bring any law suit (sic) or claims against the Leader or Foundation or anyone else not specifically mentioned here, but directly or indirectly involved in the management and conduct of the Program."

That makes about twenty times that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda say that you are not responsible and that you or your sex cult or your evil empire can be sued. Over and over. Why do you say it so many times? Isn't once enough? Oh, we, get it, the more times a 'volunteer' reads it, the more times that it will enter deeply into her (and sometimes his) psyche. Isn't that brainwashing? And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that was brilliant of you to mention that the volunteer is not suffering from any physical, mental, or psychological disorders. Just imagine, if you caught one of those cold sores from one of your volunteers, there's no way that you could sue her (or perhaps him) for giving that disease to you. Shameful, but we're sure that an enlightened 'healing' master has to think of these things in this day and age. Likewise, that was another brilliant move to make sure that the volunteer was of sane mind before all of this experiments and that you placed, once again, the understanding that the volunteer takes full responsibility to whatever happens to her (and sometimes him). Just imagine, that after allowing you to have sex, ooops, we meant to say reveal those ancient tantric practices and then to have doubts that you really are an enlightened 'healing' master, those poor women (and a few guys) just might think that they have been violated. Imagine, the complete ingrates would certainly slip in depression not realizing the wonderful gifts that a true incarnation of Lord Krishna have just bestowed in all that tantric energy. Why some of them might even feel suicidal. Lucky for you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if they miss the master and have psychological problems, it is squarely on them. This goes for upset parents, husbands (and in some cases, wives), brothers & sisters, and sons & daughters who have found out that you have unleashed your tantric energy to assist them in their spiritual practices. Check mate. Oops. Wrong choice of words. But, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, get what we mean.

Finally, on pages nine and ten, Article A6 states:

"A6. Volunteer clearly acknowledges and agrees that the Foundation or the Leader, in providing the Program and any related program do not make any claims, promises, warranties, or guarantees about the individual or group outcome of the Program on participants."

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, the only thing you excluded from this list was offering any alibis. Wasn't there a song by Bob Dylan that went something like that? Anyway, does this mean if the participant should pick up one of your 'divine' cold sores, that there was no guarantee that this wouldn't happen? And, if this means that there was a little 'Nithyananda' ticking away from all of the results from this tantric energy that that indeed was not your responsibility? Wow, looks like being a genuine enlightened 'healing' master means that responsibility is completely lifted from your shoulders especially when it involves a curvy young lady or a very willing participant. It looks like plenty of wiggle room was built right into the contract. Sri Nithyananda, can you wiggle? Oh, yes, we've seen that before, with Ranjitha.

Just imagine 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda the psychological mind f**k you played on these ladies (and a few guys). They attended some of your programs and picked up all the benevolent aspects that you offer such as meditation, yoga, chanting, ayurvedic food, etc. They must have attended some program and maybe even felt your energy tingling down their spines as you gave them your 'energy darshan'. Of course, each and everyone of these ladies (and a few guys) were bombarded with stories about how you are the next messiah and all the miracles that were credited to you. We're sure that these people listened to your lectures on YouTube and if they never read Ramakrishna, Deepak Chokra, etc. or were on to cult leaders like Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) and familiar with their work, why it is easy to fall right into that big slippery path of believing you. So, these ladies (and a few guys) came to you in your ashram with absolute trust that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, would help them in their spiritual lives. Many of these young ladies (and a few guys) came with their families including parents, spouses, and brothers and sisters, all believing that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, were there to help. Of course in this modern age, it is helpful to have a contract just to make sure legal formalities and that a true master would be able to defend him or herself if a frivolous lawsuit should occur. But, your contract, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, was very lopsided indeed in favoring of keeping participants (volunteers) quiet, that what you did was secret, and that anything that happened to them was completely their (not your) fault. But, in good will, these ladies (and a few guys) just signed the contract as part of the procedure, and still trusted that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda could do no harm to them.

'Swami' Nithyananda, since you seem to have a hard time imagining how other people feel (that's called lack of empathy) still try to make an effort about how devastated some of these ladies (and a few men) might have felt when you approached them sexually. After signing a contract like that and believing that you were god, but really found out that you were just an unilluminating pervert is devastating. Especially if you violated them. Why that's sexual harassment and plain old rape. Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you are a rapist of the most deceitful kind. Absolutely ugly criminal who deserves a life time behind bars with other violent criminals. Do you think that the families and close friends of these ladies (and a few guys) would actually believe these victims? In most cases, any complaints against you, would be seen as a complaint against 'god' himself. these victims would either think that they would be seen as crazy or actually have become crazy themselves, suicidal in many cases.

The families that brought these young ladies (and a few guys) to your presence actually thought they were doing good for these young ladies (and a few guys) and themselves. You installed a lifetime of regret and guilt into these honest family members too. (Your recruiting inner-circle criminals are exempt. They are hardened criminals just like you.) You, 'Swami' Nithyananda are an absolute monster. The evil of evil, the darkest of dark. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, owe all of your victims a life-time of restitution.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we grudgingly have to recognize you on your originality. We think that this just might, (don't hold your breath) be the first original piece of work that you have ever done. Then again, you might have ripped it off from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Jaggi Vasudev, Bhagavan Kalki, or even your idol, Osho. Anyway, we will assume that you actually came up with this idea on your own. Now, we are perplexed, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We never heard of holy man with a contract before. We remember that Newt Gingrich once had a 'Contract with America' and left office a few years later in disgrace. We also all know about the contracts that shady spiritual characters line up, usually for no-money-down deal. But, this is the first time we heard of a holy man with contract. Perhaps, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you really are a modern saint and this makes you HolyMan 2.0 (with a contract to go).

But, anyway, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we really do hope that you're a holy man. You see, if you were just a regular old criminal, having a contract like this and running programs to attract international participants might be seen as human sex trafficking. That would be really serious in such countries like the United States and Canada were you have (or had, shall we say) a foothold (and perhaps some other hold too). And, just think, all of your devotees that knew that you often have sex with these baited 'volunteers' are just as culpable. If proven guilty, you, Sri Nithyananda, and your low-life inner-sex-circle could be facing serious jail time and closure of all your fraud-based foundations and illicit temples. Your end, as we all saw, just might be a little closer than you think.

Download Nithyananda's Original Tantric Sex Contract Now

(2MB PDF)

note: PDF file opens up in new window/tab. Alternatively, right click the link and save target/content as a PDF file.

Don't forget to pass this contract on to all your family, friends, associates, police, elected officials, community leaders, everyone!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Nithyananda's Fraud Gets a Reprieve, Bail to His Bedroom

Sex-Scandaled, Fraud-God Nithyananda Gets Bail to Romp Around His Bedroom Again
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Looks like you finally got to bail out of the women's jail to go back to your ashram. Wow, what will be the first thing you do there? Hmmmm... can we take a guess? 'Swami' Nithyananda, we sure hope the CID team didn't plant any other hidden cameras in your room... so you better play it safe and mosey on down to the brahmacharini's (lady's) dormitory to burn off that pent up desires. That way, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you won't have your secret tantric sex practices being revealed on YouTube. Lord only knows what happens when devout masses view your ancient 'holy' practices and misunderstand them. It will take at least another interview with world-class cooking chef, Rajiv Malhorta, to give us the play by play, as well as the blow by blow, call on these ancient mysteries and 'divine' techniques before anyone can be convinced that you're not just having sex. Now that we know that these videos are confirmed by multiple sources as being legitimate, will we find from multiple sources of other illegitimate byproducts from your now legitimate videos? If yes, your gurukuls (religious schools), 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, might actually get new recruits.

And, speaking of YouTube, will you still be releasing new lectures on YouTube? I know you just love to do this... but part of your bail conditions is that you will not be able to lecture. Will lecturing on the internet count toward this? We bet the that the CID team will pounce on you for violating terms of your bail if there are new releases. So, it look, like you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will just have to restrain yourself. We know that you're really good at doing that as you demonstrated that recently in the women's prison. So, we'll be all watching you.

And, even more good news for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda. Looks like your Vedic Temple in Montclair near Los Angeles, California is schedule to re-open this Saturday, June 12. Will you have some new surprises for us? We guess that your meditation technique of Nithya Dhyan meditation will have some new moves in it. For instance, during the chaotic breathing session, we imagine that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda will add some of your ancient tantric practices like hip swiveling and thrusting to make sure that the maximum amount of energy is collected and then released, in spurts of course. And then, 'Swami' Nithyananda, the chaotic breathing will also bursts of reciting the Nithya-Pleasure Mantras of "Ooooooo La La' and 'Whooooooooooo Ahhhhhhhh', said in such authentic ways of such a 'divine' holy healing master. And, during the humming section, Sri Nithyananda, we imagine that your participants will be asked to whisper out little unique-to-your-order slokas like "Oh, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you're such a god.", and "Ooooooh, Nithyananda, give me a deeper experience.", and that sort of tantric chanting you made famous. And, finally, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we expect that during the final stage of giving gratitude to you, the master, there will be new moves and hand positions introduced into your meditation. All, we hope that the blindfolds are securely on and you keep that room very dark. Actually, we really don't want to know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what you have planned as an act of 'gratitude', and even if we did know, we probably couldn't write about it here.
Hey, Sri Nithyananda, we have another idea to help promote your unique brand of 'enlightenment. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, won't it be nice if your loyal team video taped and then published all of your still loyal devotees on YouTube entering the Vedic Temple and participating in all of your, ahem, rituals?  Wow, we bet that there will be no better way for all of your devotees to show their loyalty and love for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, than having pictures of them all over the internet 'standing up' for their tantric sex master.  Wouldn't their employers just be impressed of their loyalty that they have for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that these employers just might think that your devotees could possibly have the same devotion for them? Why this will certainly help their careers.  So, posting videos and images of your devotees still praying to you will be a win-win situation for everyone.  Who would ever guess that being a fraud-god would actually do society some good?

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will you be attending the re-opening of your Montclair Vedic Temple? Oh, we're sorry to hear that the Indian Government took away your passport. So, we guess that means no more rendezvous with Rajiv Malhorta in Nepal either. Too bad. Also, we suppose that entering the United States will be a bit more difficult after the U.S. Embassy has placed you on that list. It will be up to the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers to revoke your U.S. visa a second time, but chances are, that they will.

OK, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we're glad that your out and available for the public to 'greet' you again. We hope that they all give you the nice warm welcoming like burning your image in effigy that you, as a geniune self-proclaimed paramahamsa (renunciant) deserve.

We would just like to remind you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, the little inconvenient matter that being out in bail is not exactly the same as being acquitted and exonerated from all the crimes of fraud, rape, and criminal intimidation that are charged against you. It's still a long road ahead for you and your corporate criminal organization. Good luck to you. Actually, it is much more fun for us to hit a moving target than one just sitting there in jail.  Sri Nithyananda, thanks for adding meaning to our lives.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Nithyananda's Best Case Scenario, from the Ashes of His Sex Scandal Fraud

How 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's Following Could Grow in the Ladies' Jail
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Sorry, we've been busy with a few projects and just didn't have time to deal with things that are in inertia. Say, how long have you been in police remand? Since April 24? Wow, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are becoming a fixture there.  With a little luck, we thought that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, would become fixed there. Maybe that will happen if the welcoming committee ever catches up to you.  You know, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, perhaps you're better off in jail. At least you're safe and taken care of.  In your own words, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you said that if you were out in the woods doing real wandering, you would starve.  Well, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we know you're starving right now... for some affection, but at least you're not starving of hunger.  That should help you.

Hey, Sri Nithyananda, did you know that all of your ashramites who are still holed in Bidadi as well as many of your followers who still believe that you really are god in spite of your hanky-panky are now chanting and fasting so you can be united with them again?  Yes, we know, Sri Nithyananda. How touching. Oops. Poor choice of words. Well, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we wouldn't want to disappoint them.  They seem so sincere, especially the ones that are just plain brainwashed. The others that have an invested financial stake in your criminal empire, might not be as sincere. But, don't worry, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we don't want them to be disappointed either. Hmmm. Seems like there is a pattern here, that a week or two lapses, your case is placed in court, the CID police team says it needs more time, and there you stay. Safe in sound in your cell in the lady's prison. Repeat as needed.

So how can we get you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda united again with all of these chanting and fasting followers? We know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we'll have all of your followers come to you. That's right, Sri Nithyananda. Since your followers can't expect to see you out any time soon, why not have them all come to you? It's almost as if that would be the logical conclusion. 

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, let's see how that would work out.  Let's take a look at Ranjitha. Do you still remember her? Of course, you were able to identify her, but had trouble identifying yourself. Let's take a look at some of the pictures to help you remember.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, that sure is authentic tantric practices.  Look at you practice holistic healing. And, see for someone who was sick, not only did Ranjitha seem to instantly feel much better, but you also looked so blissful. Handy work of a true Master at work.  And, look, there seems to be some hard evidence against your claims of not either being a man nor a women... and just plain impotent.

As you know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, Ranjitha has been hiding  ever since the scandal broke out. We know that the police are looking everywhere for her, and in just a matter of time, the police will find her and bring her in. Since, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are already in a ladies' prison, the police could bring her in your cell, and you two could start chirping like two canaries. Is that why they call it sing-sing? 

But, let's not stop here, 'Swami' Nithyananda. After all, since you're holed up in a ladies' prison, just think of the potential to do some more tantric healing! But, to be able to pull off all that scheduling, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda will need an experienced scheduler to get all those ladies in and out of your cell between interrogation sessions. Why look, here's someone else that's been mysteriously hiding since the scandal broke, but the police are hot on her trail too. Let's take a look at some still shots of those videos, shall we?

Why here's Gopika, also famous signer of your ten-page trantric sex contract, delivering you some nourishment for all of those strenuous tantric healing posses that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, became famous for.

And, look at these photos, Sri Nithyananda:

Here, we can see Gopika and Ranjitha together in one shot. Wow, that means that they must have been friends, and Gopika, your caretaker must have let her in with her full awareness that you were doing some special night-long healing sessions along with some television breaks with Ranjitha. 

And, look in this photo less than five seconds later (note the time stamps):

Why it's you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and Gopika.  Of course, you'll deny knowing that's you... or Gopika or even Ranjitha who was visible just moments before... but those forensic labs all stated that these videos were not morphed, manipulated, etc. and that the character in them was you. 'Swami' Nithyananda, did you ever get your results back from London that you were waiting for? Yes, a stiff upper lip, amongst other parts, are certainly needed during times like this. Anyway, look like there's a threesome where each know about the other.

Back to Gopika; since we know that she has scheduled hundreds, perhaps thousands of ladies to receiving your healing touch, she would be perfect to assist your busy schedule inside the ladies' prison. It's not only the in's and out's to cover all those logistics in such matters, but there's an issue with all those bed sheets. Why they will need constantly changing to keep them clean. You do have clean sheets, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda?

But, let's not stop there.  How about your first inmates, Ayya, a.k.a. Swami Nithya Sadhananda and his wife?  Well, sorry to break them the news, but since your second coming, looks like Swami Bhaktananda is now your first inmate. But, don't worry, if the police drag them in now, they will get in early enough to ride nice and high on the peek of your resurrected fame.

And, since you'll be famous and up and going just like your pre-video days, you'll need a whole set of poojaris to keep all the prayers and poojas directed at you, so everyone in prison will know what a 'god' you really are. But, let's not stop there.  You'll need some family members. How about your brother, Sri Nithyeshwarananda?  That way, you'll be able to make sure that his accounting stories account for your godliness. And, your mother, 'Swami' Nithyananda, could be added to the mix. You'll need someone to say that your birthday really was January 1, 1978. So, there's a need for her to be there too.

But, let's not stop there. We can have a honeymoon quarters to house Atmananda and Gnanananda, but in separate quarters, of course. Why we should have every holdout in your ashrams worldwide all come and stay with you. Just think, you'll no longer have to send out for food from the ashram, all your cooks, room-service ladies, everyone would be at your beckon call right there in the ladies prison. Of course, they will be all just too happy being in the presence of their master; just imagine the bliss. And, all of those angry people who think that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, actually cheated them and disgraced Hinduism will be pleased as punch to know that you and all of your alleged criminals are behind bars. Why everyone wins! 

'Swami' Nithyananda, do you like that idea? Sri Nithyananda?  Oh, it's time for that convenience samadhi (trance) again. We see that the interrogators have just shown up. We don't know if you can hear us, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, but you sure are consistent, at least in action.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Fraud-God, Nithyananda, Foiled Again - Denied Bail

Nithyananda comes up empty handed for yet another attempt to get bail. Instead gets Jail
On Thursday, May 6, 2010, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda gets sent back to the slammer with Bhaktananda. Bail denied. Cozy. Get used to it, kid.

God-Fraud, Nithyananda Dragged Back to Bangalore, Stalls & Calls Nurses for Room Service

Nithyananda's Transformation Blueprint: From Fraud to Fugitive to Faker to Furlough to Freedom
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Boy, you look a bit stressed, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We bet that you could use a little R&R to recoup and recharge yourself. We know just the place, a nice little sleepy town in the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains in Himachal Pradesh. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, will just love it. This time of year, it is so nice. Spring, birds, fresh air... and no one around to bother you... why there's even all the modern amenities such as wireless internet and cell phone coverage. Oh, my gosh! We're so sorry, 'Swami' Nithyananda. We forgot that you were busted because the CID Team was able to trace your phone number. Who do you, 'Paramahamsa' think gave them such confidential information? Sri Nithyananda, did you use this same phone to try to intimidate all those donors who recently left you after they lost their life savings to build your empire? Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we agree. Those 'ungrateful' people are still stuck in the greed factor. Just imagine, they lost their lifesavings, and they got some strong words from you that no doubt, helped remove their ego. And, just because of that, look what happens. They probably were willing to call up the CID Team or even pass your cell number on to our friend, Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald, who probably then passed it on to the CID Team. Wow, we guess that how news travels.

'Swami' Nithyananda, it looks like your whole house has fallen on you. Just like this classic picture from the Wizard of Oz:

No, No, No, Sri Nithyananda. That is not Ma Medhananda Mayi under that house. She is still running loose out in the West, Seattle to be exact. That definitely isn't her. We hate to tell you this, actually, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that is you stuck under there with your smelly feet exposed. You're in the East now... and well, you seemed to be crushed by the house you built. But, don't worry, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, unless someone tents the house and fumigate, we imagine that you will be able to borrow down and slither out sometime before next winter.

For the record, 'Swami' Nithyananda, let's review all of the charges that have been leveled against you, shall we?:

• Two cases under Sections 295A (deliberate and malicious acts, intended to outrage religious feelings of any class by insulting its religion or religious beliefs)
• 376 (punishment for rape)
• 377 (unnatural sex)
• 420 (cheating and dishonestly inducing delivery of property)
• 506 (criminal intimidation) 
• 120B (criminal conspiracy) of IPC

That's quite a collection, 'Swami' Nithyananda. Will your threatening kal bhairava emails on your confiscated computers will show up on this list? We've already reported your threats to the FBI. Just a tip from us, next time in your 10-page sex contract, be sure to include a phrase about not being married and 'available'. That might help you look like a legitimate sex-craved sanyasi (renunciant). So, where do all the other charges fit it?  Let's see there's gold smuggling, excess foreign funds on hand (just a weekend supply, no doubt), more illegal forest products including tiger skins. Say, you go all out for your room service ladies.  Were those skins for your meditation or for more 'experiments'?  We agree, 'Swami' Nithyananda.  Nothing like a hot room service lady on a tiger skin. Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, those new findings are not exactly extremely serious criminal acts. Small time stuff, like that of a petty criminal. But, we're sure that everyone knows that you did the violent crimes above, so the authorities will be able to keep you at bay until they get the evidence they need. Those crimes above should do the trick.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, to be honest, we were a bit disappointed with your arrest. We were expecting to see you sporting handcuffs. You know, without handcuffs, you might have been able to escape from the authorities and continue your YouTube career. But, looks like the tables were turned. Instead of giving them the slip, someone gave you the slipper. Did they do this because, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, had no sole? OK, we realized that was a low shot, but it was the thought that counted.

More seriously, 'Swami' Nithyananda, Foreign Exchange Management Act (FEMA) and notify the Enforcement Directorate (ED). For all the laundering you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda did, you sure didn't have a clean act. In fact, take a look at you as you were arrested:

photo source: www.daijiworld.com

Sri Nithyananda, your hair looks greasy, you're unshaved, your saffron cloth is wrinkled, and looks like you haven't slept all night. Why 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you look just like an ashramite! Welcome to our world, when we were brainwashed slaves of course. Is this your karma coming around? Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, let's hope not. Let's pray that the police don't break canes over your head and throw furniture on you like you did to your ashramites to beat them into a brainwashed submission. That would be very cruel.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we heard the CID team was very nice to you. In fact, they even cleaned and fixed the toilet in your 8' by 5' cell. Wow nice of them. Perhaps that preparation was for their benefit, though. They must have watched your YouTube channel and knew that if that 'content' couldn't be flushed down and then the stench got into their air conditioning unit, it would be torture for them. We're beginning to catch on to their logic in receiving you, Sri Nithyananda. And, we understand, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that the CID Team went out of their way to make your feel at home. Why they even installed a little camera and a one-way mirror. But, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, don't get too excited. This isn't going to be the type of bar and grill you're used to. Quite different, we're sure.

And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, is your little cell nice and clean? Is the mattress they slip in during nap hours to your standards? We hope that everything is to your liking, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Just imagine that if there were head lice that infested your hair, then they would have to shave [hint, hint] everything off, well maybe not everything. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, we bet if they shaved your head, then you would look just like a common criminal, exactly like Bhaktananda. By the way, how is he? Oh, that's right, we heard that he's no longer in the air-conditioned lock up but in jail for a couple of weeks. That ought to cool him off, or will it? Anyway, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if they do shave your head like Bhaktananda, do you think we'll be able to see that little birthmark that looks like a '9-9-9' symbol upside down! And, if you didn't have that birthmark, then do you think that at least one of the good-natured interrogators would be willing to tattoo that symbol on you just for authenticity?

Wait a minute, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's smoke coming from our computer and sulfur fumes belching out. Yuck. Disgusting. Look, an email from The Devil! And, the email is written in crimson blood. Boy, we didn't know that it was possible to send an email written in blood, but here it is:

Dear Blog Owner,

Sorry to say that I am very offended by your humor.  Please note, as the caretaker of pure evil, I want you to be aware that Nithyananda Swami does not meet my already very low standards.  Just like Osho, I don't claim to be anything that I'm not.  In this way, Nithyananda Swami, has tried to hide all of his shame behind a veneer of holiness.  Nithyananda Swami is undeserving to be associated with our registered up-side-down 9-9-9™ symbol. Any further violations of our Registered Trademark, and I will make sure that the search engine ranking for this site sinks to the bowels of Nithyananda's abode.  Have a nice day.

Yours cordially,  The Devil

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we've gotten all kinds of threats from all kinds of characters, but this was the first time that The Devil has threaten us. We guess that even The Devil will have to go to the back of an already very long line if he wants to sue us or do anything to stop us. Sorry, no special treatment; not even for your peers, Sri Nithyananda. But, wait a minute, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what's this criticism here?:

"Only a house-holder is entitled for tantric sex. Claiming to be a monk and using so many people for one's pleasure is unpardonable,"

"(Nithyananda) has violated UNAIDS guidelines as well as the rules of tantra."

“He (Nithyananda) should have had one partner and announced himself as a tantric guru. It has caused damage to the faith of people in the institution and traumatized many.”

Who said that, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? Oh, that was Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Wait at minute, that makes two devils in one day!  It was bad enough that The Devil condemns you, but when you have a truly evil, cult personality and renown closet womanizer, like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, come out and publicly denounce you, then you know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you really need to get your marketing team in overdrive. Otherwise, donations are going to dry up into the bottomless pit you seemed to dig for yourself in, and then you'll have no choice but to sell your ashram and other assets to Sri Sri at a fire and brimstone sale rate. Scandalous.

So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, how are you going to recover from this setback? Oh, we see, you're going to start a campaign to have everyone recite a mantra for your acquittal. How enchanting.  And, you're actually going to lead by example. How innovative.  We're not used initiative from you, Sri Nithyananda. Which mantra are you going to use? Oh, yes, your standard house mantra:

Om Hrim Nithyananda

But, wait a minute, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there are only about sixty people in the world that are still willing to say that mantra. But, don't worry, 'Swami' Nithyananda; there's close to six million people still willing to chant for you. But, Sri Nithyananda, you'll have to modify your mantra just a bit. Don't worry, it will still be close to your original mantra, but just slightly different. Here it is:

Om H-Ream it up your backside, Nithyananda

Since you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, seem so at ease changing sacred mantras to substitute your name, we knew that you wouldn't mind this slight alteration. It kind of makes it a little more joyful to say. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, should give it try. We would like to see you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, smile again. Honest. It gives us great joy to imagine the CID Team telling you again and again to wipe that stupid smirk off your face. Oh, don't cry on us. Boo Hoo. Really Sri Nithyananda, we've seen crocodiles with more sincerity.

Just think, Sri Nithyananda, in a two days, you'll be back on that 24(K) golden throne in your ashram waiting for a nice afternoon massage on your bed without any more surveillance cameras. Of course, with Bhaktananda in jail, you might have to give yourself that massage, but we know you'll manage somehow. So, just forty-eight hours of CID interrogation. That should be easy for you. In your book, Formless in Form, page 44, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, mentioned how you withstood days of doing the panchtapas (fire meditation), that in your own words:

"So extreme was this penance that none but the most courageous even attempted it."

And, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda go on to say how you were surrounded and went down, down, down, in ring a fire... and the flames got higher (just like Johny Cash) and placed a pot of smoldering embers on your head to boot. Wow! That must have been tough. And, then just to make sure you could outdo Clint Eastwood, in the same book you mention about doing the 'dreaded' traatak mediation where you would stare at the sun all day long without blinking. So, the withstanding the rigors of talking to a few non-brainwashed souls that do not carry your certificates of 'enlightenment' especially after being cooped in with the likes of Bhaktananda, should be a piece of cake.

So, what is this? Chest pain? Are you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, trying to say that the CID Team put the squeeze on your chest? We all know that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda were very good at doing that do others, especially after watching those videos. Is this part those karmic returns? If you really had chest pains, why weren't you able to heal them?  After all, in Formless in Form on page 44, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, talk about how you broke your back on a truck ride in an army truck from Tapovan, and how you healed your back with your own hands to the amazement of the doctors. 'Swami' Nithyananda, did you heal your back, but forgot to heal your spine? We don't understand. After all, in all your books, you included the article of "A Mind of a Mystic" which included all of those test results from some doctors in Oklahoma in 2005.  From this study, you, Sri Nithyananda clinically 'proved' your ability to control your brainwaves from the results indicated from Positron Emission Tomography (PET) device. The gushing doctor talked about how you effortlessly moved into the 'pleasure zone' by simply meditating at will:

"I believe the PET scan revealed what I call the brain's 'D-spot'. Whether you consider the 'D' in D-spot to stand for Delight, the Divine or even Dopamine (the chemical through which our bodies experience pleasure), initial indications are that the meditation can stimulate it."

So, Sri Nithyananda, why then did the medical results for your chest pains come back as 'negative'? Weren't you able to heal yourself? 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, were you faking it because all those chats with CID Officers were too much for you and it made you cry? Really? 'Swami' Nithyananda, where did you learn this behavior? I couldn't have been from any of your room service ladies. We doubt that any of them ever said, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache." So, where did you learn this? Oh, yes, one of our loyal readers gave a plausible explanation that you learned this from watching TV while, you, Sri Nithyananda, would go into samadhi (trance) and do tantric 'experiments', while you were not feeling well, of course. Yes, if you weren't watching TV, it would have just seemed like regular sex. But, now we know that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda were really not that interested in the sex, so you must have watched TV in a way to unclutch your mind while distributing all of that tantric energy. Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, next time you do this type of healing meditation, we suggest that you watch some educational television, instead of those cheap crime thrillers. After all, James Cagney as well as tips from Cosmopolitan [source:IBN-Live] are not the ideal roll model for a real genuine 'parmahamsa'.

OK, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we'll give you the benefit of the doubt.  So, let's just assume that you weren't faking it. Just the same, we're still confused, Sri Nithyananda. If you're able to heal yourself, quickly get into the 'pleasure zone', and can stand the rigors of the toughest of tapas (penance meditations), then why did you still go to the hospital? Now we get it; room service ladies in nurse's outfits. Yes, that makes sense. Did they take your temperature with a banana? Well, they should have and filmed it too. That way, you would have had visual to show everybody if you ever try to tell that joke again. Sorry, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we hate to bust your fantasy, but as you probably found out, real nurses don't dress or behave that way.  We know, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda probably got those ideas from your DVD collection, but it is always good to become aligned with your reality.

Sri Nithyananda, have you ever thought about writing a book from all of these recent experiences as a fugitive and now as an inmate? We think a titled called "Common Criminal Behavior to Uncommon Criminal Acts" just might capture the essence of your new life story. We'll be sure to purchase a copy and write a favorable review for it. We can't wait to read the upcoming chapters.  We'll be waiting.

Latest Headlines:

• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/65789/nithyananda-likely-booked-fema.html (Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald)
• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/66097/nityanandas-police-custody-extended-two.html(Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald)
• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/66191/nithyananda-hospitalised-chest-pain.html
  (Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald)
• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/66244/nityananda-discharged-hospital.html
  (Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald)
• http://www.tamilkey.com/nithyanandas-agreement-paper-with-lady-devotee-leaked.html
  
• (has actual contract)
• http://ibnlive.in.com/blogs/dpsatish/237/61773/nithyananda-the-sadhu-who-reads-cosmopolitan.html
  (Funny Article)
• http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Charges-under-Fema-could-add-to-Nityanandas-woes/articleshow/5854818.cms
• http://www.bangaloremirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=10&contentid=201004252010042509564934348640daa
• http://www.bangaloremirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=10&contentid=2010042420100424052106135db57f069
• http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/interrogating-sex-swami-was-like-a-punishment-20922.php
• http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/seized-tiger-pelt-could-spell-trouble-for-sex-swami-20921.php
• http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/did-bangalore-sex-swami-stage-manage-his-arrest-20610.php
• http://expressbuzz.com/states/tamilnadu/nithyananda-may-be-grilled-in-pondicherry/168293.html
• http://www.thehindu.com/2010/04/24/stories/2010042466410600.htm
• http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report_swami-nithyananda-discharged-from-hospital_1376157
• http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/report_us-agency-seeks-info-on-nithyananda-case-progress_1375632
• http://www.mid-day.com/news/2010/apr/270410-Swami-Nithyananda-Gopika-racket-CID-smuggler.htm
• http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newstype=local&newsid=178128
• http://sify.com/news/how-nityananda-had-kept-sexual-activities-secret-news-national-kexrbqadgje.html
• http://sify.com/news/nityananda-violated-rules-of-tantric-sex-sri-sri-news-international-ke0vadgjjfd.html
• http://www.asiantribune.com/news/2010/04/28/sex-scandal-nithyananda-may-be-brought-pondy-interrogation
• http://himachal.us/2010/04/25/nithyananda%E2%80%99s-associates-trail-runs-cold-in-himachal/19683/news/ravinder
• http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/nityananda-should-have-had-only-one-partner-ravi-shankar_100354324.html
• http://www.ptinews.com/news/627603_Nityananda-admitted-to-hospital-after-chest-pain
• http://www.behindindia.com/india-news-stories/apr-10-03/nithyananda-23-04-10.html
• http://indianrealist.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/can-hindus-self-govern-competitively-lessons-from-the-nithyananda-scandal/
  (boring dribble)
  

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 142: One Hundred and forty-two days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 164: One hundred and sixty-four days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.