Signatures Needed to Help Counter the Online Attacks (like from this Blog) Against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda & His Fraud
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? Rrrababoo. Oh, our gruntanese translator says that you haven't been with a room service lady for over two weeks now, and you're going through withdrawals. Yes, yes, that would make someone grumpy.
Well, there's good news for you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. There's an online petition to:
Stop the Defamation of Paramahamsa Nithyananda
We noted that your goal was to reach 100,000 signatures to prove that being a sex fiend doesn't necessary preclude someone from defrauding others through spirituality. Yes, being sex offender and dark tantric master can go hand-and-hand. (Ah, just the same, Sri Nithyananda, not so close there; you don't need to touch us. Thank you.) So far your petition site has been up for almost two weeks, and you already have 592 signatures! Wow, there's 592 people still willing to stand up and display their name online to show the world that they are strongly behind a pervert. Well, maybe not too strongly behind, but they are there, nonetheless.
Anyway, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we were a little concerned. If you goal is to reach 100,000 signatures, and you're barely getting 300 a week, let's see that will take you, 'Swami' Nithyananda about six and a half years. (100,000 / 300 = 6.4 years). Gee, Sri Nithyananda, we don't know if that petition website will still be up before you get those signatures. Do you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, still have plans to build a big 10,000-seat stadium in your ashram? Well, reason we ask is that it might be a little hard to fill it up at this rate. Hey, we have an idea. Why don't you order some 9,900 life-size dolls that you can quickly install around the stadium to make it look like you have that many supporters? Hmmm, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what do you think we can use and where can you obtain all those life-size dolls? Perhaps you can get some ideas from your pay-for-view television?
OK, why you're thinking about that, we just want to say that we really do like you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and we really do want to help reach that goal of 100,000 signatures. Honest. So, to help you, we're going to encourage all of our readers to go to your site and sign the petition. The best thing is that our readers don't have to sign with their real names. Any name will do. So, for all of our readers who secretly would love to have a Nithyananda name but don't want to have the hassle of changing it legally, now is the time for them to act. Simply, they just need to sign the petition using any name they like, and voila, they're done.
Just think of the possibilities, 'Swami' Nithyananda. Our readers could become 'Ananda Pornstar', 'Nithya Psychopath', 'Ananda Hooker', oh, that one is already taken. Well, they can use just about any name that will remind them of you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. And, then, the best thing of all, 'Swami' Nithyananda, our readers can then leave a comment about how much you mean to them and how you, Sri Nithyananda, transformed their lives. Touching. And, for those that really like to have a little extra exposure, our readers can upload a picture of themselves or anything that reflects their love for you.
Why look, here's a perfect example of one of your supporters from our blog now, Sri Nithyananda. This petitioner is comment 588, but maybe he won't last that long, but we appreciate the effort. Anyway, here is the comment:
Nithya Cockroach, California
All my brothers and sisters, 1000's of them, we all love Paramahamsa Nithyananda because he drops all kinds of food in his private room when he is alone with those curvy room service ladies. We always eat so well. Thanks! And, we can lay our eggs everywhere, just like the master does. So, please continue to support Nithyananda, because if he can no longer go back to the United States, our food supply is doomed.
"Nithyananda simply transformed me!"
Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that's very touching. That deserves a six-legged clap, much unlike the case of clap you have right now, don't you agree? And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, do you really drop a lot of crumbs when you, know, are alone in your private quarters with your room service ladies? That sounds kind of kinky.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Day 111: One Hundred and eleven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.
Day 133: One hundred and thirty-three days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.
