Cult of the La La Land Hides the Fraud of Nithyananda via YouTube

Terrorist Quality YouTube Videos Just Keep Coming - and Will Be Used As Evidence Against Nithyananda
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda.  Wow, looks like your video making days are on hold for a while.  Does that mean we'll get a break from your constant barrage of psycho-babble from your 'Life Bliss' Channel on YouTube?  Oh, heavens.  Looks like all of your hardcore disciples did learn one thing from you... that is how to capture their ramblings and make a YouTube video.  It's like as if the Energizer Bunny  multiplied several times over and created a whole army of self-winding, never stopping battery-babbling operated toys.  And, they all had the same reprogrammed software and hardware.  Now, who do you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, did all that transformation?

Lets' look at all of these videos for just a moment.  Let's see.  There's the round up of about nine of your seriously brainwashed ashramites giving testimonials about how happy they are in La La Land and how the big bad media is causing all these lies.  Looks like like a case study of brainwashing.  Not a free thought anywhere. Perhaps not even a thought.  Wonder where all the other ashramites who rediscovered their senses and ability to reason are? If this most blissful place on earth was actually true, then where are all those people who escaped?  Don't forget that nearly a thousand 'blissful' people in Jonestown drank cyanide laced cherry flavored Kool Aide.  Believe it or not, the Jonestown ladies even willingly fed this 'enlightenment' juice to their own babies as they watched foam churn out of their young innocent mouths, and then these mothers guzzled down a lethal dose themselves.

Then next up on the cue is piranha lady.  Dig those bulging eyes and mouth that seems to bite with every breath.  We thought she was about to swim out from our monitor and attack us.  So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, is this 'transformation' the results someone can expect from following your teachings?  Wow, thanks for confirming to the world.  Our reply is "No thanks!"

OK, Sri Nithyananda, you can view the real Life Bliss Piranha here.  Just don't get too close:



Then, in the same video, the spiritual terrorists parade their own children to become part of the support network for a sexual  predator.  We haven't seen that maneuver since Saddam Hussein displayed captured kids giving him a big hug on the eve of the first Gulf War.  And, then the hit parade just keeps coming... full of refugees from your now defunct LA temple and old ladies who have no where else to go.  So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if you have no where else to go, and a bunch of your landlords / captors shoved a microphone in front of you, what would you say?

And, then in the same video, the Canadian contingency steps in.  Let see, there's Nithyanadna Dheera, a.k.a. Martyn Williams, Ma Munivati, a.k.a. Antonie Vanmerlin, and not featured, but present, Ma Ananda Bharati, a.k.a. Sharon Kasic.  Yes, these are kind and gentle souls that are completely brainwashed.  We remember that Nithyananda Dheera must have been one of the masterminds (sarcastic irony) behind this winner of a defunct blog:

http://nithyananda-cult-clarity.blogspot.com

that hasn't been updated since last year.  The ironic final posting was 'Truth Requires No Embellishment'.  We thought that are more appropriate title would be 'Truth Requires No Embarrassment'.   If you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, look to the right hand side, you can see one of the supporters of this blog is the ice cream man with icicles dripping on his frozen-over brain.  Yes, that's Dheera.

So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what type of visa are these Canadian followers who are staying permanently in your ashram on?  In most countries, any type of work whether it is paid or not-for-pay (volunteer) work is strictly prohibited on a tourist visa.  Is this the case in India?  Attention, Sri KN Yogappa and the CID Team, you can get three boneheads in one bag if you act quickly.  Don't worry there, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we've done our part and reported these Canadians to the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement (US ICE) Agency, so, they should save themselves the trouble and only purchase one-way tickets back to Canada, eh?

Moving on up the YouTube playlist, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we see that you had one of your prized acharya (marketing specialist)  Pretty Boy Floyd, a.k.a. Sri Nithya Gnanananda, a.k.a. Mr. Noble, flaunt his straightened locks as any manicured true sanyasi (renunicant) would have done, but it looks like he has renounced eyeshadow and lipstick at least for this photo shoot.



Sri Nithyananda, is this your sex offending dentist at the ashram that only does his drilling at night? On only selected molars?  'Swami' Nithyananda, we have to admit that there seems to be a tired but content serene look on Gnanananda's face.  Kind of like the look we might expect to see on Hugh Hefner after he has had a long night of taking inventory at his mansion.  Oh, well, with you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, not in the picture anymore, someone needs to comfort all those ladies, all those sad ladies, all those deprived ladies, all those lonely ladies, that everything will be OK and they will continue to still receive your fulfillment and special energy even when you're not a around.   It's a tough job with long hours, but someone has to do it.  Perhaps Gnanananda is secretly hoping that your detention will be extended so he can get some extra practice in for his new role.


Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and this video just came in.  Is this the articulate way that your brand of enlightenment will deliver?  Public speaking by Ghost Masters?  Frightening.  'Swami' Nithyananda, are you sure he's not high on marijuana? Four minutes into the video, even the photographer gets bored and starts fidgeting with the camera.



'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you seem to have quite an impact on this chap.  At 4:40, we find out that your transformation makes people so they are not even afraid of 'a cold bath in the morning' in the steamy tropics!  Now, he's "not even afraid of catching cold.... and these things are not such a big deal."  Wow, Sri Nithyananda, now that is a total transformation.  Where can we sign up? And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, he really thinks we should all experience your energy first hand. To be honest, it's not your hands that we worried about. 

Then finally, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we have the crown jewel of your testimonial YouTube videos.  It is an outsider who knew you from your shared Ramakrishna Mission days.  Let's take a look:



Wow, we were sure surprised at the title:

"Nithyananda's Brother Disciple at Sri Ramakrishna Ashram Speaks"

We thought for certain that this was someone from the Ramakrishna Mission supporting you. We didn't think that anyone from the Ramakrishna Mission could be supporting you after you stole a true Paramahamsa's works, after you degraded the title of Paramahamsa, after you lied about your association with the Ramakrishna Mission, after you called time and time again that the Ramakrishna Mission was a "dead institution", that was "very bureaucratic",  and "rife with hierarchy". We know the career caretakers of the Ramamkrishna Mission were forgiving souls, but they are also defenders of the Truth. So, it came to a shock that someone from such an established institution of wholesome goodness would be a willing participant of propaganda propping up a 'Porno-mahamsa' (thank you, loyal reader for this great line). Then we realized that this sincere looking chap with the freshly washed dhoti (traditional prayer clothes) was not actually in the Ramakrishna Mission any more. In fact, he mentioned that he was there for nine years. Say, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, nine years at the Ramakrishna Mission? Doesn't the Ramakrishna Mission only gave out sanyasi (monk) initiation after ten years? So, why would someone stay with the organization nine years and then stop short of going the full ten years? Was this his idea to stop or the Ramakrishna Mission's idea to stop? Looking at his inability to discern Truths, we have a strong idea of which scenario was most likely.

Anyway, 'Swami' Nithyananda, the part of the video which we all thought made it a classic was exactly at 0:30 (thirty seconds) into the video.

"He was actually with me (in the Ramamkrishan Order) from 1995 to 1999."

There we go. Right to our findings. Of course, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, then hiked up to Belur at the Ramakrishna Order before you left in a huff somewhere in the year 2000. But, for 1995 to 1999, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, were at the Ramakrishna Mission in Chennai. Yet, another testimonial. Your friend, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, went on to say how you had the responsibilities of looking after the kitchen department. But, you, Sri Nithyananda, said that you spent your wandering years going in and out of different monasteries. Well, if you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, were looking after the kitchen department, then those poor monks might have been on prolonged and permanent fast. Yes, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, would have been noticed if you were missing, eve if it was just for a few hours. Then at 3:10 of the video, your former roommate said that you decided to become a wandering monk, thereby bypassing the Belur Matt days. Oh, how time erases memory. So, according to him, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda started your wandering in 1999. Do you, Sri Nithyananda, still claim this to be nine-years of wandering? Seven-years of wandering? Six-years of wandering? Most recently, over thirteen-years of wandering? All starting from 1999? Wow, that time continuum zone must have been one busy place.

Well, 'Swami' Nithyananda. We really can't blame your friend for giving such an enthusiastic testimonial about the amazing life of a real, genuine Paramahamsa. No siree. What amazes us is that your video team who have certain edited this video along with all your other videos must have heard from time to time, again and again, about all of your stories of wandering.  Didn't they have the common sense to edit that damning portion out? Now we can see that this one particular video has been edited and doesn't quite look like the terrorist quality videos that has become your standard production line since you decided to skip town and go into a vow of silence.  This  video, in contrast, was smoothly transitioned and edited nicely. So, there certainly wasn't the lack of ability or lack of time not to edit that portion out. Therefore, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we can conclude that your video team had their perceptions so bent that they only can hear things in only in terms of 'is this for our Master, Nithyananda' or 'is this against our master, Nithyananda'. No other criteria of discrimination seems to exists. Your followers cannot even recognize even simple numbers that make you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, look like a fool.  'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, could this be seen as brainwashing?

Latest Headlines:

• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/65385/godman-goes-lock-up-laboured.html
  (Chandan Nandi of the Deccan Herald)
• http://www.deccanherald.com/content/65370/godman-conman.html
  (Deccan Herald editorial)
• http://www.hindustantimes.com/Nityananda-produced-in-court/H1-Article1-534371.aspx
• http://www.daijiworld.com/news/news_disp.asp?n_id=76171
• http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Godmans-flock-signed-sex-pacts-/articleshow/5846585.cms
• http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/chappal-offering-for-sex-swami-20699.php
• http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/sex-swami-nithyananda-arrested-in-himachal-20548.php

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Day 137: One Hundred and thirty-seven days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 159: One hundred and fifty-nine days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Nithyananda's Parallel Universe is Ignorant, Therefore Not Bliss

The Bloggers of La-La Land Evade Our Five Questions
Hi there Paramahamasa Nithyananda. I see that your Parallel Universe of fantasy blogging continues to ignore reality with your latest post title "Ignorance is Not Bliss". We just wanted to have our five very simple questions about your life story answered that should be so easy for someone like you to answer in less than three minutes. [new to this blog?, please see post "Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up"] But, oh, did you do this? "I don't know what those bloggers did." Nice try there, Sri Nithyananda. We know that nothing happens unless you give the orders directly from you to do so including filing false allegations accusing others of crimes they never did. Did you know, Sri Nithyananda, that if called to court, your little prank could earn your programmed liars many years in a federal prison? I'm sure you would make time in your busy schedule to come and visit them, because you have so much compassion. Perhaps the Anna Datta (head chef) is perfecting the art of cooking files into cakes right now.

Anyway, we really are not interested in your worthless threats. We are interested in our five questions:

1. What was the exact day, time, and year you, Sri Nithyananda, were born?
2. When did you finish your public education, e.g. Senior Secondary School (i.w. high school), Standards IX to XII? What year, what grade level, and how old were you?
3. What years (from when to when) did you attend the three-year polytechnic in Engineering? Did you graduate?
4. When did you leave home to start your nine-years of wandering? How old were you and what year was that?
5. Where (exact place) did you reach your final stage of enlightenment that you claimed happened on January 1, 2000?

Sorry for all of the repetition. Sometimes it takes several times before those who reside in the parallel universe of La-La Land can begin to see reality. There is hope though, if they stand on their heads and talk backwards, there's a chance that Truths can begin to seek in. That might be too much to ask for. Oh, by the way, our readers to have some additional questions asked. You will probably ignore these too, because they might upset your La-La Land tranquility. But, there just might be the chance that you're standing on your head now, so here's our reader's choice:

• How much money was colleted and what are the plans for the Shiva Lingas that were to be placed around your Vedic Temple in Montclair?

And, from Canada, we have some specific questions about stuff you, Sri Nithyananda, promised, collected, and never delivered:

1. Why money is collected in name of programmes called Nithyananda Youth Foundation when there is no such charitable organisation in Canada?
2. What is the a/c number and in which bank they have openend a/c for temple project?
3. What is the amount collected?
4. What is the blue print of the temple?
5. Where is the land in which temple is being built?

You see, Sri Nithyananda, the problem is this. If you're going to take the strategy of hiding behind Vedic Culture and build big, beautiful temples, with big, big, big deities, that's fine. And, if people can see you do that, it will be easier to cheat them, because they think you, Sri Nithyananda, are some big Holy man who would never do anything bad at all. But, your strategy can also backfires when you don't fulfill all of your promises or any of your promises at all. You see, these people believe in God much more than they believe in a con artist. And, when they feel that you cheated them via God or cheated God directly via them, wow, Sri Nithyananda, you might not get any Divali cards from them next year.

So, Sri Nithyananda, we know that you most likely hijacked all of their money and funneled it back to your ashram in India where you started all those big infrastructure projects like that big stadium. But, we thought we should ask you the readers' questions, just in case you were standing on your head.

For our Canadian readers, do not be discouraged. Luckily, you live in a free society that will not believe all the propaganda that Sri Nithyananda is 'enlightened' and that his word is divine. They will ask for proof, and if he fails, then Sri Nithyananda will be stuck in the center of trouble bubble. A good place to start asking the Canadian Government is the Canadian Revenue Agency. Here's the contact information for Toronto:

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/gncy/nvstgtns/lds-eng.html

Ontario Region Informant Leads Centre

Tel.: 905-984-4830
Tel.: 1-866-809-6841 (toll free)
Fax: 905-984-4829

Mail:
Ontario Region Informant Leads Centre
St. Catharines Tax Services Office
32 Church Street
Post Office Box 3038
St. Catharines ON L2R 3B9

Don't worry. We'll dedicate a whole post with resources on how to file complaints in Canada.

Even though Sri Nithyananda's bloggers missed a chance to answer our five easy questions, and therefore, make themselves look like they are trying to cover something up that you, Sri Nithyananda, dug yourself into. (For those of you new to these posts, read: Do the Math - Nithyananda's Enlightenment Timeline Doesn't Add Up and then our new readers will know why we want these five questions asked.)

OK, we'll answer your post, Sri Nithyananda, this time. But you need to answer our five questions next time.

Let's see, on your post, 'IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS' (love those CAPS). Yes, Sri Nithyanada, we agree with you. Keeping people ignorant about all the money you collected and not letting them know what happpened is neither blissful to the people you cheated or is it blissful to you, and perhaps it isn't even blissful to the IRS or Canadian Revenue Agency. Your blogger accuses us of filtering everything out. We post most of what we receive. If we don't agree, we usually have our rebuttal ready and then we post both together. Seeing how you have not posted a single comment, let me repeat, you have posted ZERO (0) comments, we're a bit surprised that your blogger could even mention this point. But, then again, when someone thinks that they are 'enlightened' and is following the orders of a self-proclaimed god, they are set up for all kinds of distortions.

Let's take a look at your blogger's post.  Hmmm, we see that there is anger, issues, and dirty words. Yes, we heard this before from your blogger. More of the same. We get the ancient customs of dharma (righteousness), so your attempts to divide and rule fail again. If you're really interested in a lawsuit, please call us to court, and we'll tell everything we know including names, places, and activities. This is includes what you consider the sex crimes. We'll let the court decide. We will also file charges too. So, it could be very 'enlightening' process. We are ready. Just be sure your allegations have some merit, for if we can prove your side is lying about some serious stuff, the U.S. courts will not be amused. Let's leave it at that.

We see that your blogger did address your birth date as best as he or she could, and said:

"You ask specific questions about his birthday! Who do you think you are? What time were you born? Most of us don’t have a clue. It’s hard to get these records in America and in India, well Good Luck! Such minutia is just not important in India, hence the cultural difference. How Indians perceive things are different."

More divide and rule, Sri Nithyananda. We think that you, being an 'enlightened' healing master, could come up with a better way of skirting the issue. You provide conflicting times in your books, and must have had the time for your astrological reading that you brag so much about. But, Sri Nithyananda, we know that you know, and we'll keep on asking.

Then there's more of the same about justifying your overpriced programs and that it really is a bargain since the facilities received would have cost that much in the US. So, Sri Nithyananda, are you providing these people with a nice 3/2 bungalow? Are you familiar with anything called, Purchasing Power Index (PPI)? Yes, Sri Nithyananda, it would be nice to live in India and get paid in America. We think that you must have figured out how to do that. Genius.  It must be a comfy stay in the center of La-La Land.

Once again, there's more of the same about the lack of sleep. Sri Nithyananda, your blogger mentions one study that says that it is a good thing not to have not much sleep. Your blogger goes on about his or her personal life and say, and that he or she feels great with just five-hours of sleep. Fine, Sri Nithyananda. We're glad your blogger feels fine with just five-hours of sleep. Sometimes that's all we get too. Some people need more sleep than that, and they should have the opportunity to have that sleep.  Your blogger mentioned that 6.5 to 7 hours-of-sleep is healthy.  Yes, let them have that, nightly.

We have big problems when you, Sri Nithyananda, have your ashramites work late into the night or keep them with your long and pointless meetings and then expect them to be bathed and meditating a few hours later while you sleep-in in the mornings like a baby. Didn't you, Sri Nithyananda, once make your ashramites in India go without sleep for two weeks while you jolted to the U.S. in August 2006? Our informants told us that you, Sri Nithyananda, gave your ashramites an incredible amount of work to do, and told them they can only sleep sitting up right in their chairs or at right at their work stations, not in their bunk-beds? Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you sure do know how to get the most out of your workers. Have you ever thought about running human productivity seminars for 'enlightened' dictators?

Just so that you are aware, Sri Nithyananda, there's plenty of studies that show that less than six-hours of sleep is bad for you. Here's one done by Stanford University:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2009-08-13-sleep-gene_N.htm

Here's what Google came up with for a search of "six hours of sleep".  Just skimming the results, you will find that six hours of sleep is not enough.

Scarier yet, Wikipedia has some not-so-wholesome facts about Sleep Deprivation including death in lab animals:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_deprivation

Sri Nithyananda, you don't treat your ashramites like animals, do you? Are you sure you don't treat most of them like donkeys and a special few like fluffy little bunny rabbits?

The real point of mentioning the amount of sleep and lack of it is the psychological damage that sleep deprivation can cause.  This is no minor point.  Just look. Google has over 40,000 listings for the key words, "sleep deprivation brainwashing"

Sri Nithyananda, all this talk about sleep deprivation is getting tired. Let's just agree to disagree, and if anyone dies or becomes mentally unstable as a result of your 'meditative' sleep deprivation, you, Sri Nithyananda, are on your own. We are glad that you, Sri Nithyananda, a self-proclaimed Paramahamsa, already have a lawyer.

Sri Nithyananda, we agree with your blogger's comments about your blog:

"Nothing could be farther from the truth."

Spot on. Yes, that's life in your parallel universe. And, about that steamy topic about sex in the Ashram, (Hey, Sri Nithyananda, you can make a great TV series out of that, and once again raise some money for your charity.  You do love to practice charity, right?  Say, is Charity your new room service girl?) Once again, if we're called to court, under oath and penalty of perjury, we'll tell everything we seen and know with names, dates, and details. We do know that you, Sri Nithyananda, model your ashram after Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh), and we all know what he stood for. The only difference between you and him is that you layered your model with a veneer of holy dhoti cloth. But underneath it all, same thing going on.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, in your blog's next post, try to answer those five, simple chronological questions. Otherwise, we're going to have a really easy time making fun of you. Not that we have to make any effort as it is now.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.

Day 4: Four days have passed since Sri Nithyananda's bloggers of the Parallel Universe of La-La Land have not answered our simple chronological questions. We'll keep on reminding them.

Day 25: Twenty-five days have passed since Sri Nithyananda and his organizations have threatened a baseless lawsuit against us. We'll keep on counting.

Nithyananda Denied Entry to the US and Gets Visa Cancelled

“I’m not here to prove that I’m God; I’m here to show you that I’m a visa beggar.”
Paramahamsa Nithyananda, have you ever been in trouble with the U.S. immigration laws? I know, you will say something like “I’m grounded in Satya (truth) and the Vedic traditions. I just flow through this life with no resistance.” Nice try there, Sri Nithyananda. Do you remember your little mini tour to Canada in late March 2007? Sri Nithyananda! No, you cannot go into samadhi now. I didn’t bring any of those pictures with me. Sri Nithyananda, we just started! Quick. I have to think of something. I know, I will grab my notebook and make a sound of flipping through all the pages. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. (Sound of flipping pages in a notebook.) Sri Nithyananda, I have a stack of new hundred-dollar bills. Listen. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Ah, thanks, there, Sri Nithyananda. I knew you would come out of samadhi. “I never touch money. It means nothing to me.” Thanks, Sri Nithyananda. I know that is the public face you put on, but there’s no one around, so you can behave like you do in private. After all, we have witnesses in 2007 when you held U.S. dollar bills and received hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations as a deposit for the Montclair temple. Boy, did you get excited. “Arrrffffrrrauugh!” Oh, I don’t know that word in Gruntanese, but I imagine that it is not a good thing.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, let’s get back to that Canadian tour of Spring 2007. Remember, you came first to your ashram, in Duarte, California. You, then, lectured and did some cash-collecting program. Then you, Sri Nithyananda, went up to Vancouver, Canada where you did some more lectures and then another cash-collecting program. Then, your next stop was going to be in Seattle, Washington where you were going to give some more lectures and of course, do another cash-collecting program.

However, things didn’t go quite as you planned. On the way back from Vancouver, Canada to the U.S. by car (because you thought you would be able to go ‘under the radar’ through the roadside immigration point), some U.S. Immigration Authority Officer that obviously never did Nithya Dhyaan, wore your mala (rosary) and bracelet, or even watched a YouTube clip of you did the unthinkable. Sri Nithyananda! You’re going into samadhi again. Stop! Stop! Here. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Listen. That is a whole stack of new thousand-dollar bills. Oh, you’re back. That was a close one. Did that government official cancel your U.S. tourist visa? Why Sri Nithyananda? Were you wearing Bermuda shorts, a loud Hawaiian shirt, and some funny sunglasses while in California? But, Sri Nithyananda, even for acting ugly in America, immigration people usually do not cancel tourist reasons for that reason. Oh, it must have been all that cash you were carrying, brochures, books, Nithya malla’s (rosaries), and your website that tipped off the authorities. Sri Nithyananda, do you know that the U.S. authorities know how to surf the web and find things? Perhaps they all bookmarked your site on Delicious. Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, if you are in the U.S. as a tourist, they really want you to spend money and see the scenery... not to make money and cause a scene. I guess you learned that one the hard way.

Sri Nithyananda, do you remember the day that this all happened?  Why it was April 2.  Do you suppose the U.S. Immigration Office extended April Fools Day (which is on April 1st) by one day in your honor?  Looks like the joke was on you, Sri Nithyananda.  Should we celebrate this day?  You know, kind of like a Boston Tea Party Jyanti?

Sri Nithyananda, did the customs person give you the respect of a true Paramahamsa? You, know, did he act bias to you? You know, the same sort of racist stuff you dish out to white people? (Stay tuned for a future post.) Was this part of your karma, you know what you did to all those white people, someone did back to you? I thought that custom’s official acted with prejudice. Wasn’t that a bit blatant, just kind of like the way you, Sri Nithyananda, act towawards others? Why that custom’s official even wrote in your visa “Canceled With Prejudice.” How dare he! Oh, I’m sorry, “Canceled with Prejudice” is a legal term that means not-even-someone-who-thinks-he-has-divinity-in-his-pocket will be able to overturn this ruling. Oh, and, Sri Nithyananda, what was the custom official’s excuse? Because you were here for ‘holy’ business purposes and were not here as a tourist. Sri Nithyananda, you were busted! Get used to it, kid. There will be more times like this ahead.

Wow, that must have come as quite a shock. After all, Sri Nithyananda, you claim that you can do just about anything; you know, being so godly and all. I mean anyone that can do mass ‘enlightenment’ and proudly say that you’re the avatar of Lord Shiva, Lord Krishna, Devi Minakshi, Lord Ayyaapa, Lord Subramaniam, and a host of other deities could surely get a simple entry into the United States? Maybe it was because you were not wearing Bermuda shorts, a loud Hawaiian shirt, and some funny sunglasses. You know, you really should try that sometime. OK, if it’s cold, some blue jeans.

Now, Sri Nithyananda, since you do all these predictions like how my house will be the epicenter of a 2012 disaster and everything, why couldn’t you at least predict that this immigration official was not going to let you in? If you did that, you might have been able to let those poor devotees in Seattle, Washington enough time not to run all of those costly adds with you big picture on them or rent that big over-sized hall. I bet that hall echoed in your empty promise of being there for them. I imagine, Sri Nithyananda, that those devotees had to hang around the hall all night to tell other potential donors that you were on an extended vacation in Canada. Sri Nithyananda, were you skiing or moose spotting in Canada, eh? Sri Nithyananda, if you can’t even get a visa and predict that you would be denied entry, does this mean you will not be able to get me a new bicycle, a skateboard, or a drum set... or even a winning lottery ticket? Sri Nithyananda, am I wasting my time with you?

So tell me, Sri Nithyananda. With all that time on your hands up in Canada, what did you do, eh? Sri Nithyananda, Sri Nithyananda, Sri Nithyananda! Dang, samadhi again. frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Listen. This is the sound of new ten-thousand-dollar bills. No response. Fiddle-faddle. OK. I’ll have to do this one from memory. Yes, I remember now. Sri Nithyananda, you had all your big wealthy influential devotees fly up and pamper you. Wow, we have a VHS video of all of this. Let’s see what happen. There you are meeting all of those people. Sri Nithyananda, you sure look worried... you’re barking out orders to all those people... “Call your Congress Representative!” “Contact your Assembly person!” “Your Senator! Call her!”... and so on. Wow, Sri Nithyananda, you look like one of those people in the disaster movie that crawls over everyone to be the first out of the sinking ship or something. Sri Nithyananda, do you know how to swim? I didn’t think so. Except in bed, of course. Why you, Sri Nithyananda, were so desperate, you even asked white people to help you. Man, that must have been an all time spiritual low.

Ah, Sri Nithyananda, you’re coming to. Don’t worry, after all that begging, Divinity decided that you were now qualified for a religious visa. You were able to return to your ashram and go on with all your big, big, big plans. And, everyone lived happily ever after. Well, not really. But, you promise a make-believe-world, so it's OK to say that.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fraudulent cult.