CID Police to Give 'Potency' Test to Sex Swami Nithyananda, Monday September 8, 2014
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Sorry for the lapse of blog posts, but we've been practicing your special tantric practices that you taught us and we've been in samadhi while in bed for all this time. You sure are the greatest guru who ever taught us such skills. Well, did you recruit any hot new room service ladies while we've been off? Rrrrrrrrahba. Rrrrrrrrahba. Rrrrrrrrahba. We can't make out your gruntanese, but that sounds like ruba ruba ruba. Do you mean 'rub her' or 'rubber'? Anyway, Sri Nithyananda, we know what's on your mind.
Sri Nithyananda, did you hear the news? The Supreme Court of India reversed its earlier seemingly flip-flopping and said that you now must undergo the potency tests that you've been evading for over four years. It seems that all the trouble happened when you, Old Horny One, we mean Old Holy One, said during your CID Police interviews that:
"I am like a six-year-old boy and am not capable of indulging in sexual intercourse with anybody."
While relaxing with a stiff grin of content, Sex Swami Nithyananda clutches on to his symbolic instrument of power... with all the splendor of glittering 24K gold, which, ironically, is one of the softest 'solid' elements on the planet.
Oh, dear, Salami Nithyananda, that picture above really shouldn't be available to people who haven't spent thousands of dollars for all your multi-level spiritual programs. The masses would just not understand. And, then there's those pictures from those videos that got leaked out that show you down to your undies (underwear) what seems to be a roll of quarters (coins) shoved underneath. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, you're right. Those pictures are obviously morphed and we sent them to the CID police just to set the record straight.
Oh, dear, Sri Nithyananda, it does look like you'll have to take that potency test. It's amazing what enlightened masters have to go through. There's one master from Nazareth had to drag his instrument of death in front of his followers and then slowly die while hanging on a cross, and you, on the other hand, have to go into a hospital and get checked for a potency test. Why, there's just no comparison to what you have to endure. Salami Nithyananda, will your tantric partner, Ranjitha Menon, be coming with you?, oops we meant to say, accompany you. Sorry, there Sri Nithyananda. Regardless, if she is by your side, we're sure that she will make a big splash. Hmmmmm... probably not the best of times to have her uplifting presence. But, Sri Nithyananda, we are sure that you'll be up for anything tomorrow.
Gee, Parmesan Nithyananda, it couldn't be all that bad. Let's see, there will be nurses. Yes, you like nurses, or at least their outfits, and there will be massaging, just like your tantric practices; there also will be handcuffs and beds, just standard equipment of yours, and there might even be some straps to make sure you get the full effects of the tantra, oops, we mean potency test. Gee, just like your private quarters, you'll feel right at home. Yes, those nurses can help fulfill your tantric desires if they cooperate and wear the right costume. Why, look, Salamander Nithyananda, here's a nurse now:
Sex Swami Nithyananda realizes that it is best to chose nurses from one's own harem when experimenting with tantric practices.
Sri Nithyananda, is she one of your room service ladies? Gee, Salami Nithyananda, there could be a problem. Perhaps the CID police will pick out the nurse for you. It's one thing when you get to choose from your harem of room service ladies and make the 'nightly special' wear a nurse's outfit, but it's quite another thing to have a real nurse who is trained properly.
Sex Swami Nithyananda might not get the nurse of his choosing during his potency test.
And, then there's another problem, Salamander Nithyananda, what if the nurse doesn't like you? What if she is a follower of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and only knows the inferior multi-level marketing programs of the 'Art of Living' (like a parasite) and resents your far superior Life Bliss multi-level marketing programs? What if you, Sri Nithyananda, get stuck with Nurse Ratched?
A professional like Nurse Ratched might skew Sex Swami Nithyananda's potency tests in a different direction.
Yikes! Imagine what it would be like to have Nurse Ratched for a potency test!?! Don't visualize that! No telling what cut-throat mischief she might cause!
Oh, No! Sri Nithyananda, we just remembered that there's lots of men these days that also have chosen to enter the professional field of nursing. What if you, Oh Great One, get stuck with some Joker to do your potency test!
A nurse like The Joker might add a certain twist to Sex Swami Nithyananda's potency test.
Oh, dear, Salami Nithyananda, you might get manhandled! Can you picture yourself being manhandled during a potency test? Heavens no! Say it ain't so. OK, Parmesan Nithyananda, we are now worried for you. We must think of something to divert the police and medical team to make them think that you're as innocent as the six-year-old boy you claimed to be.
We got it, Sri Nithyananda, if the medical police team ask you what is long, hard, and full of seamen, you better answer with.... that's seamen! S-E-A-M-E-N.
Sex Swami Nithyananda might find himself in deep during his potency test.
Ahhh, Salamander Nithyananda, you're off to a bad start. Think like a six-year-old boy. OK, if the medical police ask you what's goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet, you need to answer.... NO!!!!!! Sri Nithyananda, that's the wrong answer again. It's gum!
Fancy another sticky situation, Sri Nithyananda? We'll soon find out what lies underneath the wrapper.
OK, last chance, Salami Nithyananda, to convince the police that you have an innocent mind. What does a lady have two of that a cow has four of? Wrong, again! Legs, Sri Nithyananda! Legs!
Nice horns. Two legs or four legs, it doesn't matter. Sex Swami Nithyananda's special brand of yoga, in practice.
Sorry, Parmesan Nithyananda, we don't care if you've made Ranjitha wear a muumuu dress and crawl around on all fours. What? You, Salami Nithyananda, only know Ranjitha by crawling around on all fours on your bed? Jeez, this is going to be hard to convince the police and the medic team that you're really just as innocent as a six-year-old boy.
OK, Salami Nithyananda, we give up. We tried to help you, but it looks like you, Oh Holy One, are not cooperating. Hey, we just got a fresh idea! Parmesan Nithyananda, it's been four years since you said that you were like a six-year-old boy and not capable of having sex, right? Well, just tell the police and the medical team that after four years you're now going through puberty. They will understand, we hope.
Stay tuned for our next blog post.
Will the title be of the following...
Sex Swami Nithyananda Limps through His Potency Tests
Sex Swami Nithyananda Wilts under Pressure
Sex Swami Nithyananda Proves that He is the Most Impotent Guru on YouTube
Deflated Sex Swami Nithyananda Verifies to be a Softie Through and Through
or will it be....
Hard-headed Nithyananda Chokes during His Medical Exam; Spills All the Beans
Sex Swami Nithyananda Arises for the Occasion, His Rape Trial Continues
The Second Coming of Nithyananda Proves His Continuing Presence and Reveals His Seedy Secrets
Sex Swami Nithyananda is Larger than Life and Spurts Out His Own Self-incrimination
Hard-luck Sex Swami Turns to Stone During Potency Tests; Sauces Off to the Police
(Readers, please post us possible titles for our next post)
To be continued....
Get used to it, kid. Sex Swami Nithyananda wears his best 'smile' as he enters court in early September 2014, while flanked by his body-bashing supporters.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against '
Sept 8th is the birthday of the real spiritual Guru Swami Sivananda.
ReplyDeleteHope that the fake impostor pornohimsa (himsa means torture) nithy's downfall begins on this day and he is convicted of the rape and put in jail or hanged with all the criminals that deserve punishment for doing a rape.
He did not look that majestic during the photo shoot during the mojo test..http://standupfordharma.blogspot.in/2014/09/nithyananda-undergoes-medical.html
ReplyDeleteIn the first picture he looks horrible - looks like lot of swelling in the face; apparently has high BP and Sugar - how can such an avathar who can even cure terminal cancer by looking at the photo of the patient himself be so sick as early as 37??##@@@
Hope he gets his due this time.. could not have bribed the entire panel who examined him yesterday.
Now Nithy has decided to leave Bangalore and settle in Thiruvannamalai@@@@!!!!! He is sick and tiered of the treatment he is getting from Karnataka Government. He believes it was BIG mistake for the Government to do potency test on an Avatar like him!
ReplyDeleteAnd now Nithy does the favourite one - remember the video where a sick and simple looking Nithy tells us that he is going to Himalayas for an infinite period as per advice by the various Sanyasis and leaving all his responsibilities to bro.. and then next day, he comes back and starts filing false cases.
ReplyDeleteNot worry about the news in Kannada - they have Nithy talking from 2 minutes or so in his Tanglish - enjoy!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUPe9W3VcuQ
http://standupfordharma.blogspot.in/Here’s the shocker, 'sex guru' Nithyananda did not undergo potency test
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bangaloremirror.com/bangalore/others/Potency-in-doubt-Nithyananda-likely-to-undergo-test-again/articleshow/42196533.cms?
ReplyDeletedefinitely looks like Nithy has to bound up and then given the injection to check performance of his tool.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteIs there a possibility that someone who is managing this blog could verify the authenticity of the affidavit he is ciculating to his followers. It is on his website if you search for affidavit. The doctor is available on Facebook.
Om Namah Shivaya,
DeleteThank you, anon, for your genuine concern to make sure the Truth is available for all. You will be glad to know that if ever called upon, we will be glad to produce an affidavit stating that cows indeed have four legs and ladies just have two legs.
Please let us know if there is anything else that we can help clarify for your level of understanding.
Jai Maa.
Hi,
DeleteI was hoping that someone here will contact the doctor to verify if he actually signed that affidavit. In any case, everyone should read the affidavit and have a good laugh at it.
I request you to please verify the authenticity of it. I want the man to fall flat on his face.
Om Namah Shivaya,
DeleteHi Anon,
Thanks for the clarification. We thought that you were one of the NithyaZombies trying to intimidate us. We get death threats, legal threats, general nastiness, and what not thrown at us all the time.
Yes, we have noted that there is an affidavit by a certain Robert Di Loreto, M. D. on nithyananda.org. Perhaps that is it.
Do a search:
"affidavit" Robert Di Loreto, M. D. site:nithyananda.org
it should pop right up.
Readers, feel free to do an above mentioned search on Mr. Nithyananda's website and look at the document. We will do so, at a later time.
Jai Maa.
Hey,
DeleteI realized that you mistook me for a zombie. :) Some of my closest friends are zombies and I wish to see them get rid of the dirty disease. Hence, the comments are anonymous and I am personally not contacting the doctor to verify the authenticity of the document.
One look at it and you can be certain it is fake...but i still want someone to verify that. Please help me with this
Om Namah Shivaya.
DeleteThanks, anon, for your understanding. We do appreciate your comments.
Jai Maa.
Om Namah Shivaya,
ReplyDeleteAnd, then there is this news release too:
http://www.deccanchronicle.com/140911/nation-crime/article/nithyananda-dupes-all-doctors-included-pre-prepared-statement-even-tests
His little prank might lead to his bail being revoked. Let us hope so.
Jai Maa.
Oh this is then even more funny. This is Gross violation of the whole Supreme Court order. How can an Avatar have pain? Is it not the body that has pain and not the Avatar? Why he is still associating himself to the body.. Did he not feel pain when he was performing in the video?? This chap should be put back where he belongs. No wonder why he is running off to Tiruvannamalai..
ReplyDeleteThe potency test report of controversial godman Nithyananda is expected to be delayed by 8 days. There is a suspicion that Nithyananda may have taken drugs ahead of the potency test which might have helped him to pose as an emasculate and deter the findings.
ReplyDeleteThis is from News9 FB page...
I don't know what is worse, that fact that you think you are a writer or maybe an attorney where you have threatened me and others in the past with legal consequences for commenting on your rambling rubbish.
ReplyDeleteYour blog contributes nothing new, after I posted a suggestion, someone started standupfordharma and just sticks to reproducing facts instead of you free-association jokes that only your laugh at, and a couple of sycophants who are in awe of your writing skills.
The most gratifying part about this is you must have PTSD as you were a former devotee, will probably never find enlightenment and will have live with the fact that you were taken advantage off by a sociopath.
If you want to threaten me, put your money where your mouth is and I will meet you in which ever legal forum you choose. Threats of any other sort will be reported for what they are.
To recap, I am glad you sought self-awareness but got shafted instead!
Om Namah Shivaya,
DeleteTsk, Tsk. Tsk. Looks like the NithyaTrolls are back in force (after a false start) and commenting on our blog again.
Their tactics have hardly changed. Try to create a false issue, to to confuse, then divide.
We are a big supporter of the Stand Up for Dharma blog. We check it daily and appreciate the good work it has done.
We are glad the NithyaTrolls are reading our blog. NithyaTrolls, please read every article posted again and again.
We do feel sorry for such a sour-faced lot. All the years of being around Mr. Nithyananda, we can hardly expect any different. Their ability to laugh or even smile is gone. Oh, well. We wish them a speedy exit from this cult or a lengthy jail sentence... which ever one will help them the most and hurt others the least.
Jai Maa.
Amazingly, these criminals think that they are enlightened and can offer enlightenment.
DeleteOh an Avatar watching a porno and that too in public.... http://www.daijiworld.com/news/news_disp.asp?n_id=263122
ReplyDeleteThis guy is just too much - otherwise what was he expecting to get his erection on to test his potency???
https://www.facebook.com/daijiworldnews/posts/968368223189570
Om Namah Shivaya,
DeleteThanks, Anon, for the news. Yes, we have seen the letter circulating as an image. We will post it up and transcribe it for all to read in its splendor. Yes, it was Nithyananda's own trolls who were circulating. Go figure. His followers are even more desperate than he is.
Jai Maa.
For the last time, I know what enlightenment is as I have been guided by a genuine scholar/saint, am NOT a Nithya troll, and insist that your writing sucks, you attempt at humor falls flat, and you seem unhinged yourself. Quit polluting the net, let the law on both sides of the world do its job. I am not scared of any nithy or any other punk.
ReplyDeleteAhimsa Parmo dharmah. Dharmo rakshati rakshitah!
OM Namah Shivaya,
DeleteLet us see here. You wrote:
"For the last time,"
"I know what enlightenment is..."
"I have been guided by a genuine scholar/saint.."
"am NOT a Nithya troll"
The web of lies just continue. Just like your master. But, we are entertained. Thanks.
Oh, one last thing, it is Paramo not Parmo as you wrote. Better luck next time.
Jai Maa.
You are right about the typo (there are a couple of others as well). NithyTrolls can’t spell. They have no understanding of basic principals. Apparently this troll is still stuck deep in the cult.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it is apparent he (or she) is still a "fully functional member" (pun intended, as opposed to "non functional member" of the great one who arse (and other parts) he or she kisses daily) of this cult. That means he or she is gullible, lacks rational thinking, and is used to the us-versus-them mentality. Anyone who agrees with him or her is "us" and stuck in the cult. Anyone who disagrees with him or her must be "them". That is how these deranged people think. Since others quit that cult, or got kicked out, or did not pay their dues or what ever; the roles have reversed and the very same people that used to be his or her closest friends or now their arch enemy. They will try to do anything to destroy or discredit the people who left the cult. Anyone who disagrees with this person is "them" –his or her allegiance is fully with his or her lover, master, prophet, tantric partner or whatever.
Again, another display this NithyaTroll’s unhinged comments is that he or she claims that this blog does not serve the public in anyway. This person cannot view anything objectively. Another thing, Nithyananda lifts material off the web and other books, and then does not have the decency to credit. This is standard practice for this con artist, Nithy. If Nithy is a writer or journalist then that is first thing he would have done, but Nithya poses as a holy fake, which rhymes with snake, but Nithy is lower than that. Nithya, the holy master lifts stuff from Ramana Maharishi, Rama Krishna, Osho, anyone. Same rules apply to everyone. Nithya should go to jail for rape. Just because he is a ‘holy man’ with a sex contract, lawyers, thugs, and mentally unstable PR people, does not mean he is above the law. Other criminals of his should also pay their debt to society.
Jai Kollur Mookambika. Wish you a nice Navarathri, and you couldn’t be doing anything better than keeping people away from this horrible cult!
Instead of wasting time with your drivel, if you really wish to do something here is what you can: Report David Draper, Jeff Ellis to the respective bar, for pursuing frivoulous default judgments knowing fully well the defendant was not in the jurisdiction.
ReplyDeleteReport this doctor Satish Balaji (Dr. Kalavagunta S. Satish Balaji, ), and Di Loreto to their state medical board for HIPPA violations. They discuss Aarthi Rao medical history in public when they have no business doing that. There are more attorneys and doctors all you have to do is visit your former cult's facebook and you see these paid quacks giving their expert opinion.
If you file these complaints you are doing a service.
Are you upto it be a man, or woman or transgender or whatever. Stop being a whiny mouse. You give mice a bad name!
That is Jeffery A Willis, Esq who was retained by Gowri Rammohan in Columbus, on behalf of you know who
ReplyDeleteThe dcotor press conference and statement contradicts what the various news feeds have been - apparently NO Porno Movie was shown to do the test!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd he ducked the Doppler test out of the lot...
Hope these are enough to take it forward to a truthful closure.
Glad to see activity again
ReplyDeleteWhy suddenly so quiet
ReplyDeleteLooks like Nithy could not fake his voice how much ever he tried - he apparently tried to take some pills / injections / what not to try to have a blocked / blurred voice during the test; but still there seems to be more than 80% match with the samples that police has!!!! So Sai, you can expect lot of activities starting next week when the trials start. Sure, Nithy would try to stop the start of trials.
ReplyDeleteThank you for standing up against the abhorrent deceiver and sexual pervert. Perhaps you would like to direct your readers to see a full set of link to the Nityananda case as it has developed over they years, with scans from Indian newpapers? The page is at http://swami-nityananda.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/swami-nityananda-dossier-sex-crime.html
ReplyDeleteThank you and keep up the good work!
Invigilator
Looks like the trials have started! Nithy comes in like a don with a bunch of pushers dressed in Sanyasa Dress!!!! Definitely those does not look like realized beings but thugs dressed like that...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vgV3jGiQgk
Fraud Swami and his minions are now in Cambodia. Posters all over in Siem Reap. Going to spin a yarn about Angkor Wat. Gosh, who allowed him in. The only place he belongs is a prison cell in Tamil Nadu.
ReplyDeleteImages You put in this post clearly showing that you are using insinuation (just rhetoric method). If truth is on your side why using rhetoric tricks? :)
ReplyDeleteANYWAY I wish you True Enlightenment!
God Bless.