Nithyananda's Best Case Scenario, from the Ashes of His Sex Scandal Fraud

How 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda's Following Could Grow in the Ladies' Jail
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Sorry, we've been busy with a few projects and just didn't have time to deal with things that are in inertia. Say, how long have you been in police remand? Since April 24? Wow, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are becoming a fixture there.  With a little luck, we thought that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, would become fixed there. Maybe that will happen if the welcoming committee ever catches up to you.  You know, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, perhaps you're better off in jail. At least you're safe and taken care of.  In your own words, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you said that if you were out in the woods doing real wandering, you would starve.  Well, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we know you're starving right now... for some affection, but at least you're not starving of hunger.  That should help you.

Hey, Sri Nithyananda, did you know that all of your ashramites who are still holed in Bidadi as well as many of your followers who still believe that you really are god in spite of your hanky-panky are now chanting and fasting so you can be united with them again?  Yes, we know, Sri Nithyananda. How touching. Oops. Poor choice of words. Well, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we wouldn't want to disappoint them.  They seem so sincere, especially the ones that are just plain brainwashed. The others that have an invested financial stake in your criminal empire, might not be as sincere. But, don't worry, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we don't want them to be disappointed either. Hmmm. Seems like there is a pattern here, that a week or two lapses, your case is placed in court, the CID police team says it needs more time, and there you stay. Safe in sound in your cell in the lady's prison. Repeat as needed.

So how can we get you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda united again with all of these chanting and fasting followers? We know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we'll have all of your followers come to you. That's right, Sri Nithyananda. Since your followers can't expect to see you out any time soon, why not have them all come to you? It's almost as if that would be the logical conclusion. 

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, let's see how that would work out.  Let's take a look at Ranjitha. Do you still remember her? Of course, you were able to identify her, but had trouble identifying yourself. Let's take a look at some of the pictures to help you remember.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, that sure is authentic tantric practices.  Look at you practice holistic healing. And, see for someone who was sick, not only did Ranjitha seem to instantly feel much better, but you also looked so blissful. Handy work of a true Master at work.  And, look, there seems to be some hard evidence against your claims of not either being a man nor a women... and just plain impotent.

As you know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, Ranjitha has been hiding  ever since the scandal broke out. We know that the police are looking everywhere for her, and in just a matter of time, the police will find her and bring her in. Since, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are already in a ladies' prison, the police could bring her in your cell, and you two could start chirping like two canaries. Is that why they call it sing-sing? 

But, let's not stop here, 'Swami' Nithyananda. After all, since you're holed up in a ladies' prison, just think of the potential to do some more tantric healing! But, to be able to pull off all that scheduling, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda will need an experienced scheduler to get all those ladies in and out of your cell between interrogation sessions. Why look, here's someone else that's been mysteriously hiding since the scandal broke, but the police are hot on her trail too. Let's take a look at some still shots of those videos, shall we?

Why here's Gopika, also famous signer of your ten-page trantric sex contract, delivering you some nourishment for all of those strenuous tantric healing posses that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, became famous for.

And, look at these photos, Sri Nithyananda:

Here, we can see Gopika and Ranjitha together in one shot. Wow, that means that they must have been friends, and Gopika, your caretaker must have let her in with her full awareness that you were doing some special night-long healing sessions along with some television breaks with Ranjitha. 

And, look in this photo less than five seconds later (note the time stamps):

Why it's you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and Gopika.  Of course, you'll deny knowing that's you... or Gopika or even Ranjitha who was visible just moments before... but those forensic labs all stated that these videos were not morphed, manipulated, etc. and that the character in them was you. 'Swami' Nithyananda, did you ever get your results back from London that you were waiting for? Yes, a stiff upper lip, amongst other parts, are certainly needed during times like this. Anyway, look like there's a threesome where each know about the other.

Back to Gopika; since we know that she has scheduled hundreds, perhaps thousands of ladies to receiving your healing touch, she would be perfect to assist your busy schedule inside the ladies' prison. It's not only the in's and out's to cover all those logistics in such matters, but there's an issue with all those bed sheets. Why they will need constantly changing to keep them clean. You do have clean sheets, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda?

But, let's not stop there.  How about your first inmates, Ayya, a.k.a. Swami Nithya Sadhananda and his wife?  Well, sorry to break them the news, but since your second coming, looks like Swami Bhaktananda is now your first inmate. But, don't worry, if the police drag them in now, they will get in early enough to ride nice and high on the peek of your resurrected fame.

And, since you'll be famous and up and going just like your pre-video days, you'll need a whole set of poojaris to keep all the prayers and poojas directed at you, so everyone in prison will know what a 'god' you really are. But, let's not stop there.  You'll need some family members. How about your brother, Sri Nithyeshwarananda?  That way, you'll be able to make sure that his accounting stories account for your godliness. And, your mother, 'Swami' Nithyananda, could be added to the mix. You'll need someone to say that your birthday really was January 1, 1978. So, there's a need for her to be there too.

But, let's not stop there. We can have a honeymoon quarters to house Atmananda and Gnanananda, but in separate quarters, of course. Why we should have every holdout in your ashrams worldwide all come and stay with you. Just think, you'll no longer have to send out for food from the ashram, all your cooks, room-service ladies, everyone would be at your beckon call right there in the ladies prison. Of course, they will be all just too happy being in the presence of their master; just imagine the bliss. And, all of those angry people who think that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, actually cheated them and disgraced Hinduism will be pleased as punch to know that you and all of your alleged criminals are behind bars. Why everyone wins! 

'Swami' Nithyananda, do you like that idea? Sri Nithyananda?  Oh, it's time for that convenience samadhi (trance) again. We see that the interrogators have just shown up. We don't know if you can hear us, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, but you sure are consistent, at least in action.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.