'Swami' Nithyananda Caught with His Dhoti Down
Hey, there, Sri Nithyananda, looks like you had a rough night. Get any sleep? We heard you've been in samadhi for the last nine days. Is this, like, your version of nine-nights of prayer? But, what type of goddess do you, Sri Nithyananda, pray to? Oh, we see, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda pray to film goddesses.
And, before we forget, Sri Nithyananda, Happy Holi! Yes, Swami Nithyananda, Holi happened right at the time of all this excitement. It's very colorful, just like you. We love the story about how the innocence of the little guy was able to send the wicked demon to her fiery death. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, do you see a connection here?
Wow, your mission is sure getting famous. You, Sri Nithyananda, have been giving personal energy darshan to hot actresses. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, sure have upgraded your room service. Looks like you're getting more than just food. Dinner and a show. There's a big feature about you on SunTV, let's look:
And, here's a Telugu Version of the same video:
Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we never saw you give energy darshan with you legs that way before. That poor lady must have been very sick. She even got mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. But, lucky for her that after receiving all of your healing energy, she was able to jump right out of your bed, oh, we mean, energy circle, and look as fit as a fiddle. She even had the curves of a fiddle. Wow, Sri Nithyananda. My grandmother is not feeling so well. Will you give her that special healing too? And, was that a new yoga pose we saw from you? You, Sri Nithyananda, sure seemed flexible. Like a human rubber-man.
And, Swami Nithyananda, what was that you were petting? Were you taking away some negative energy? Or was it part of your holistic approach to healing? We thought your initiated healers were supposed to use 'healing sticks' in that region. We guess that since you are an 'enlightened' master, those rules don't apply to you.
And, on your computer, Sri Nithyananda, what video were you watching? Looks like it involved some sheep. Was that part of your flock or just more fleece? And, it looks like all of your donors really were fleeced. But, the video you were playing wasn't that clear. And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what was that you were popping into your mouth, at least twice? Was that medication? What type of medication, Sri Nithyananda? Were these 'Bliss Pills', He-Man pills, or just not-feeling-very-well pills?
And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, judging by all the little knick-knacks around the room that was no hotel. Was this sacred healing happening in your pad at the ashram? Wow, Sri Nithyananda, maybe one of your inner-circle, you know, probably one of the folks that you beat again and again turned on you and planted that spy camera. Why would they ever do that, Sri Nithyananda? We thought that you were a big hit with all of them, at least the ones that you broke your cane over their heads. And, Sri Nithyananda, was that a peek of the famous 'paramahamsa' bird we heard you talk so much about? Was that the same bird that never really touched the ground and never went through all of that teenage angst and hormones? That really was a glimpse of the master. We're glad we didn't miss.
And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are you still experimenting with immaculate conception like you bragged about in 2007? Did you get any results from this immaculate conception? If you did, you, Sri Nithyananda, really should help pay for child support. It is only fair. Judging by this video, Sri Nithyananda, you still do practice immaculate conception. Just look how clean and tidy your sanyasi dhoti cloth (renunciate monk clothes) still was. We bet you did the whole exercise routine without even taking your dhoti off, and still we bet it doesn't even need to be washed. We guess we can just call you Mr. Clean from now on. Will you come clean, there, Sri Nithyananda?
'Swami' Nithyananda, nothing really surprises us with you any more. It used to, but not any more. That shock factor just seems to have slipped away. But, there was something today that really did surprise us, Sri Nithyananda. That was how nonchalant you were during the whole yoga and healing exercises that you did. It looks like you have done this many times before. So, Sri Nithyananda, how many times have you done these yoga and healing exercises and how many different women got to experience the 'inner' you? We bet that could be a pretty long list of just about anyone you thought was worthy and willing to experience your 'energy'.
And what is there here, 'Swami' Nithyananda. Is this one of your videos? Is it called, "From Lust to Liberation (A Discourse delivered at Inner Awakening & Life Bliss Engineering LBE)"? That sure looks like some great advice. If we follow these techniques, Sri Nithyananda, will the goodies of divinity just unfold in front of us and surround us with its pleasurable healing effect?
So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are you still a 'Paramahamsa', you know just like Paramahamsa Ramakrishna? And, Sri Nithyananda, what's going to happen at your ashrams? Will there be a big charter bus to take everyone away? Will you, 'Swami' Nithyananda attend the Kumbha Mela festivities? Will you, Sri Nithyananda, lead the procession? We're sure that everyone will be able to recognize you now. And what about your programs, Sri Nithyananda? Is there a new awakening in your Inner Awakening program? We bet the participants never thought that they would get so much churning. And, how are all the ashrams doing there, Sri Nithyananda? We understand that there are a lot of people out there that would like to do a big fire ritual and burn the whole place down. Maybe you, Sri Nithyananda, can add some red chilies to the whole affair so it won't be a total loss.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.