Ex-cult Follower of Nithyananda Tries to Save His Children

The Other Shoe is Dropping on Sex Swami Nithyananda as Incriminating Videos of Brainwashed Children Surface Again

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, what's going on? Have you seen the latest videos of your loyal harem defending you, Oh Great Salami of Shim Sham? You did see them? Wow. Those videos disappeared faster than you do when you are summons to a court hearing. Cool.

So, why did you, Oh Degrading One, Nithyananda, have these fawning followers remove these videos when they were so openly in support of you? Yes, those videos were terrorist quality, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

But, really, Mr. Nithyananda, we thought those videos showed how all us followers should act in face of the challenges ahead while you are on some hammock in Ecuador chomping on Dole bananas. Those are genuine Dole bananas, are they not?

Hey, look Sri Nithyananda, we're in luck! Those videos were saved and compiled in a 'fair use' compilation that will make it nearly impossible to remove. Let's have a look, shall we?

Devout Father Attempts to Rescue His Daughters from the Cult of Nithyananda in Gujarat


Ooopsie. Ouch there, Nastyananda, that video just might scare away some of the targeted audience for your next Bollywood hologrammed experience program that will cost just a mere $15,000 to view over a flickering internet connection. That might hurt the little piggy bank, and then you will have to hit your rich followers for another million and guarantee that the next comet that looks like one of those squiggly things in those sex ed movies will be named after them for the honor of parting a cool million in cash.

Yeah, we need to cheer you up, Lord of Lard, and get your mind off this parental thing for true senyasis would never worry about the children that they fathered just like you. Hey, we know, Porkananda, how about a little magic show to sparkle your interest? Here's just the clip for you.

Cult Recruiter Tubba Bubba Mahayogini Nithya Mahayogananda Shows How to Entertain & Defraud Gullible Dupes thru Fake Third Eye Awakening


Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are a real savior.

Major Defection & Police Raid in Nithyananda's Ashram

Ma Nithya Jnanapriyananda Spills the Beans about MAJOR Defection & Police Raid at Nithyananda's Cult.

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, what's going on? Any luck in getting the police off your back? Ooopsie, apparently not. Just look here at Ma Nithya Jnanapriyananda wine and plead about the latest atrocities. Don't worry, we saved this video just in case she decides to not let the word out anymore.

Please share...

Posted by Ma Nithya Jnanapriyananda on Friday, November 1, 2019

Factoids:
Place: Nithyananda's Gurukul in the Gurajat Ashram.
Person named as being 'responisible' behind all this: Vidhyeshwara or janardhanan Sharma

Call to Action!
Don't let Ma Nithya Jnanapriyananda down! Be sure to share this video about the breaking news atrocity to everyone so that justice can finally be done against the cult!

Stay Tuned
We'll report what what find out (with verification) as soon as we find out more. Jai Maa.

Just in! Below is Ma Nithya Bhaktipriyananda's side of the story. Dig that makeup! Catlady to the rescue!

Are we still having something called Human Rights? Women Right??

Ashamed of the Police in India who can go to Any extent and do any thing they want! Then if we have problems where we should go for Help? Today very Sadistically a women based monastery is harassed by police and illegal actions r being taken in Yogini Sarvajnapeetha, Ahmedabad, Gujarat. Out of extreme Pain and hopelessness from this existing system i have to make this video to tell what has happened with all my sisters here in Gujarat!!"

#HumanRights #WomenRights #Violation #harassment #monastery #Nithyananda #Sanyasi #CommissionerOfPolice #DIG #IG #SaveMySister

Posted by Ma Nithya Bhaktipriyananda on Friday, November 1, 2019

Oopsie, looks like Ma Nithya Bhakti 'kitty cat' priyananda jumped the fence. Catty indeed. But here's a screenshot of her last Halloween mugshot.

Don't you worry your silly little head, Swami Nithyananda, there's plenty of other minions eager to post their tale of woe on social media, just like you instructed them to.

Why here's Ma Nithya Tattvapriya Ananda with a terrorist quality video about the horrible news about her 'sister' and her father trying to take them out of the gurukul! Too, too, too painful!

Posted by Ma Nithya Tattvapriya Ananda on Friday, November 1, 2019

And, here comes Ma Nithya Gopikananda Swami with a tale of woe. Shameful. Where's the bliss?

#SaveMySister #Nithyananditha #gujarat #commissionerofpolice #womenrights #DIG #IG

Posted by Ma Nithya Gopikananda Swami on Friday, November 1, 2019

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are a real savior.

Yes! Nithyananda is a Cult; a Violent Cult Indeed

The Truth is Revealed. Just watch.

Beating Nithyananda's 'Enlightenment' into the Kids

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are both real saviors.

Sarah Landry Starts to Squeal Against the Cult of Nithyananda

Sex Swami Nithyananda Needs to Turn the Tide. Defectors Run Amok.

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, Long time no see? You just now revved up you two-way video blah-blah-blah again? Why? Running out of followers? Or are your followers, Oh degrading one, running out on you?

What is this message from your official (de)Facebook profile, Nithyananda Sangha?

OFFICIAL MESSAGE : Dear Sangha members, Devotees, Disciples, Followers of our beloved Swamiji,

As you all may be aware, Swamiji is making Himself available to all of us - even more now - with two live satsangs every day, Morning in English and Evening in Tamil (IST). In spite of all the assassination attempts, attacks by the anti-Hindu elements, Swamiji is only making himself available more and more and giving powerful initiations to all of us.

As much important it is to listen to powerful cognitions, that much important it is to stay away from false information and anti-Hindu elements. All of you are aware of the multiple assassination attempts Swamiji went through and the horrific persecution staged by the anti-Hindu elements. The evidences and proofs of persecution were presented to renowned International bodies and agencies. They have not only recognised the persecution Swamiji is going through but also working with our organisation to stop this at the root. They have been actively investigating in an effort to discover and expose the persecuting elements and have been conducting some independent investigations. During their investigations, through their Intelligence sources, they found some implants of anti-Hindu elements, being in the adheenam and had started preliminary enquiries. These implants entered the adheenam with the goal of assassinating Swamiji. As they were unsuccessful in physically assassinating Swamiji, most have left the adheenam now and are doing character assassination of Swamiji and Sangha. They typically reach out to members of the organisation / followers of Swamiji claiming to have some "information". They spread lies and rumors about the persecution, false cases etc. The sangha members they reached out to, not only not believed in them, but shared the evidences with us. All of what they are sharing is just to character assassinate Swamiji as they were not able to physically assassinate Him. Beware of such implants.

Nithyananda Sangha is an open and transparent organization. If any of you need any clarifications or need any information, please approach the right and official sources for information. Do not get deluded by gossip or hate speech or false information. You can contact the Registrar, Ma Nithya Jnanatmananda Swami on facebook, email (ma.jnanatma@nithyanandauniversity.org) or on whatsapp (+91 99800 95254) if you need the right information or want some clarify or if you want to report unwelcome solicitations by these anti Hindu elements.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/100028744480327/posts/224320445202770?sfns=mo

Who would ever want to dethrone you, Nithyananda, Avatar of Tar? Certainly, these poor deluded individuals know that you are the best Kalbhairav and Maha Kali imitator on YouTube? And, you might for good measure tell whoever posts your official messages that they really need to run a spellchecker first. Yes, enlightenment does have its drawbacks.

Thanks for the phone number and email. We'll be sure to contact Ma Nithya Jnanatmanada Swami to get all the juicy details.

But, back to who? Certainly, these unenlightened individuals were never very close to you. But, then again, your official message said that you had implants (in your teeth?) Oh, you mean spies right there in the holy land of the ashram, which you have not set foot in over a year now. Sri Nithyananda, did you have a screening process? If you, holy one, can scan people over the internet, then why did you allow these people in just to cause character assassination to the greatest man/woman/canine/centipede that ever graced this planet? What was it? Samadhi again?

But, who could it be this time? Certainly, not that lady with 70 pounds of makeup on the outside with 70 points of IQ in the inside? Yeah, that lady. The one that carried the walking stick with a golden lion head on top. Because everything out of her mouth was lion, lion, lion.

But here she is, with makeup and all!:

Sarah Landry:  To all my Facebook friends,

As many of you know, last year, I left an organization headed by a guru who calls himself Sri Nithyananda Paramashivam. I left quietly, and without incident. After leaving, I spoke with a few close friends about incidents that sparked my decision to leave. I've kept these communications private because, in the past, whistleblowers against the organization were labeled "anti-Hindu elements" and were attacked by rallied disciples. Somehow, though, my private communications have been leaked to the organization administration, at the behest of Nithyananda, who has ordered his disciples to report and take screen shots of any communication with ex disciples, to be used against them in attempts at character assassination.

Before I go any further, I'd like to point out to those spreading these lies: slander is a crime. Cyber bullying is a crime. 



The guru's people are now spreading a crazy lie alleging that I poisoned Nithyananda. Anyone who knows me knows this is absolutely false to the point of being ridiculous. I was a devoted disciple who lived to serve his mission. I believed, and still believe, in the principles he stood for publicly: the value of enlightenment, the beauty of Sanatana Dharma, the need for vegetarianism and non violence in society, and the power of self awareness. It's only when I discovered, through personal experience and from very trusted friends, that his public platform is built on a web of lies and violence, that I walked. I'm making this post publicly now so that you can be warned about the danger of this group before their vicious lies meant to discredit me spread any further.

One question I've sidestepped over the last year is this: "Why did you leave?" I've truthfully said, here on Facebook and in a YouTube video, that while there, my lifestyle was hard and I missed my family, which was true. Why I left completely, though, is more sinister, and was sparked by an incident that happened last August:

Two of the students of Nithyananda Gurukul told me, tearfully, about an incident that took place on December 31, 2017, in the main Bidadi campus. Early that morning, their teacher stormed their dorms and forced kids to beat each other, while verbally berating them and blaming them for the failure of the Mahasadashivoham program, in which participants who were promised "superpowers" complained that nothing was happening. The kids were told to beat one another until they bled or cried, and told "now, you'll feel Swamiji's pain."

I asked the two, a boy and a girl who I will not publicly name to keep their privacy, why none of the adheenavasis (adult residents) knew of the abuse, and they told me that they were locked in the dorm until their visible injuries healed. The incident happened in an area only open to others involved in the school, and so, nobody else knew it happened. I asked why they didn't tell their parents, and they told me they were told it was "guru droha," a crime against the guru, to tell their parents.

These two innocent kids were scared. They also told me about the abuse they experienced in the Gurukul on a regular basis in the form of sleep deprivation, public shaming sessions disguised as spiritual practice, (called "completion sessions," to which adults were also subjected,) and starvation- being denied food for lengthy periods of time unless they "manifested powers."

In order to earn the right to eat, sleep, drink water and go to the bathroom, many kids resorted in desperation to cheating, and discovered a way to peek through the bottom of their blindfolds. (By raising their eyebrows once the blindfolds were in place, creating a window near the bridge of the nose.) This is why many kids could only read papers directly under their chins. Others pretended to see "golden letters" detailing cosmic messages for people in a practice called Reading Akashic Records, but in fact, just made things up, saying whatever they felt like saying in the moment. Many people have left their families, donated thousands of dollars, made or broke deals because of answers given to them in these Akashic Readings, and it is appalling to know they were not legitimate.

The story of this abuse struck me as too terrible to believe, especially since the school is promoted as non-violent, so I cross checked with a few other sources. Some denied it, but a few parents who were there as volunteers confirmed for me that the incident indeed happened. I also found witnesses who saw the black eyes and lashes on the girls locked in their dorm.

Through mutual friends, it's come to my attention that these were not the only beatings that took place in the school I now regret once praising. Two boys were beaten in the Madurai branch. Their only crime was a desire to leave. One boy was beaten with bats so viciously that he passed out in pain. His attackers revived him by pouring water on his face, and once he woke, they continued beating. Twice. He was not allowed to leave.

I struggled with this information, knowing that in the past, people who have spoken out against this organization have been slapped with fake criminal law suits. As you can imagine, I don't want to be labeled an "anti-Hindu element" as other whistleblowers have been, and I don't want to have fake charges pressed against me to silence me. Putting myself aside, I feel compelled to share now, as I said at the beginning of the post, because it's a matter of human rights and the protection of children. I urge parents not to send their kids to that school, and urge seekers to find enlightenment elsewhere. My nine years of devoted service are now being rewarded with gossip and veiled threats. It's taken me a year to fully understand that the daily life I lived there was exactly the lifestyle of a brainwashed cult victim. It's like waking up from a dream. As sad as it is to be treated like a traitor by people I once considered friends, it's a whole lot better than living in a state of constant fear created by a leader who implements sleep deprivation, diet restrictions and a policing system in which all members of the group are accountable to report each others alleged transgressions.

I could go on, with more disturbing details and personal accounts, but I prefer to leave it at this. Kids are being hurt, people are being deceived, and that is not acceptable. I'm thankful for my freedom, and I pray everyone who is still there wakes up to enjoy theirs, too.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/594905763/posts/10156153464910764?sfns=mo (hint: go to the page and read all the comments. Maybe even give her a little support. Perhaps.)

Wow. We will have plenty to say about this. Better gear up the threat machine. The out-of-state lawsuits. This unenlightened person was responsible for drawing in so many people to your organization that these people just couldn't unclutch and stop following her. You, Holy Moly with the panty doily, better put a stop to this now or you and your whole organization are kaput!

Stay tuned for more developments! Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days and Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady a.k.a. Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry or Ma Nithya Sudevi or Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are both real saviors.

Did Rajiv Malhotra Help Nithyananda Disappear?

Sex Swami, Going, Going, Ganja

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, where have you been? Where the flip you've been? Speak up, Salamander Nithyananda. First, you skipped your trial and then poorly Photoshopped photos of you with shadows in pointing in every direction appear on your Facebook site. Then silence. It's like a bad case of Where's Waldo?

Now you, Oh degrading one, hint that you've started your own nation. Cool. We can't wait to visit. But, in your posts, you've hinted that you disappeared to the Caribbean Islands. Was this because of their ability to laundry money or a fancy nod to Disneyland and Johnny Depp? Rrrrrrr.

Bummer that you haven't perfected your software to get tigers, monkeys, and cows to talk in Sanskrit and Tamil.



If you did have it ready to go, then you could tweak it to include Spanish. That would be hella useful. You could have every one of your ashramites, including, tigers, bears, monkeys, and cows, to freely converse in the local language. Imagine the party!

Gee, Sex Swami Nithyananda, you must give us at least a clue where you're are. OK, you Salami Nithyananda, have nearly ten years' experience ducking from the law. An enlightened expert. Perhaps one of your friends could give us a hint? Never. Really? How about your near and dear friend Rajiv Malhotra. Yes,

Rajiv Malhotra

Yeah, him. Leader of the Infidelity Foundation. A public figure with his own Wikipedia page. H even has a 'public' domain picture of himself that no one can claim. Free use. Up for grabs. A real rock star.

We have to hand it to Rajiv for he has a nose to find you even when you are in the most difficult spots. Remember back in 2010 when no one else could find you? Rajiv Malhotra not only found you but gave us that wonderful staged insights of his fully certified 'independent' research and proved that you were innocent right then and there. No need to have this go to trial. But, dang, holy moly Nithyananda, you removed the first of the three interviews with Rajiv because you clearly stated from your own mouth that it was you in that video with Ranjitha. Lucky thing we have a back up handy so we can get the truth out.

Bummer that the rest of the world is not enlightened like you and Rajiv. This creates problems. The unenlightened world just doesn't get it that it's OK to five billion dollars from some rich dude and give him or her only one billion back in the next life. No ethic problems at all with that. No ethics whatsoever. Look, here's one of the unenlightened trolls making fun of you both. Pity.



Gee, that was taken all out of context. Unfair. Since Rajiv must have thought that the world was not ready for these truths, he took down his own video. But, lucky for us that you, Oh Grating One, Nithyananda, had the same video plus a lot more right here (start at 2:07:51):



Hey, Mr. Nithyananda, we got to thinking. Of course, Rajiv must actually believe his own inter-life reincarnation trust management and your ability to transfer this wealth. So, Rajiv might not have five billion dollars, but if he had five million dollars, he should give it all to you. Since he looks like death warmed over, it will only be a few years before Rajiv is ready for the great transfer himself. Beta user.

But, wait a minute, if Rajiv is advocating for people to be circumventing karma (not to say anything about helping criminals get away with rape and abscond), then he will need to take on that karma. Ouch! Will Rajiv get human birth? Our records say maybe not. Maybe he'll be that next rascally dog at the rescue shelter.

Yes, that's right. Our research indicates that Rajiv Malhotra will not only be a dog in his next life, but he'll also be a super rascally dog. The type that pees on everything and humps every leg that walks in the house. The little yappy little thing that never shuts up. Que annoying! However, it is destined that we will adopt Rajiv and take care of him. But, since Rajiv is such a problem pooch, we will need the money upfront. One million. This will ensure that we get Rajiv a secure crate and plenty of training paper for little Rajiv to learn proper house manners, etc. So, we need that million right upfront. Otherwise, we'll put little Rajiv outside until some owl swoops down and turns little Rajiv into a stress ball. Squish. Squish. Up to you, Sri Nithyananda.

But, back to that hint, Sri Nithyananda. What is this? Another video from Rajiv that cultivates his rock star status. Pure credentials.



Cool. On December 24, 2018, Rajiv posts his interview with the Vice President of Suriname, Honorable Ashwin Adhin. What the heck? Suriname? Why that's a tiny South American country right on the Caribbean. Yo Ho Ho. And, right next door to another famous ashram of a highly spiritually advanced leader just like yourself. Jonestown and Reverand Jimmy Jones. He made Kool-Aid famous!

Way cool. Rajiv Malhotra rubbing knees with the Vice President of Suriname. Did Rajiv get him to sign up for an inter-life reincarnation trust management initiative? Perhaps your first paying customer.

Say, since Rajiv posted this on December 24th and you, Sri Nithyananda have been missing way before this video, you don't suppose that there's a connection between the two? Bummer that your passport expired back on September 30, 2018.

Were you, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, able to renew it? Bummer. That means that you are stuck where ever you are right now. We hope that you are looking after your hosts and treating them better than you did to your ashramites.

Good luck to you. We mean it, man.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days and Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady a.k.a. Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry or Ma Nithya Sudevi or Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are both real saviors.

Holy Houdini! Sex Swami Nithyananda is Absconding! It's Official. Non-bailable Warrant Issued.

Summary:

Today, 6 September 2018, there was a hearing date to allow Nithyananda's legal counsel to argue against allowing the forensic evidence, specifically the sleaze video, to be submitted as evidence. Sorry to say that none of Nithyananda's big-shot attorneys* showed up to the court. Nithyananda and the other accused (not counting Gopal Reddy Sheelum, a.k.a. Bhaktanadna, A-2, for he is already separated from the rest of the trial because he went AWOL last June) bother to show up either. The Judge had no choice but to issue non-bailable arrest warrants to Swami Nithyananda (A-1) and Siva Vallabhaneni, a.k.a. Sri Sachitananda (A-3). Gopal Reddy Sheelum already has a non-bailable warrant out for his head. The judge allowed Sri and Ma Sadhananda (A-4 and A-6) a break because they normally show up. The Judge also allowed Ragani Vallabhaneni, Ma Sachitananda (A-5) a break due to her serious illness of cancer. So, now the holy threesome (A1 thru 3) are all prison bound before the main trial begins if they get caught.

* It is our understanding that one local attorney did show up on behalf of Nithyananda. He wasn't prepared to argue and just informed the judge that the other high-profile attorneys including CV Nagesh and Paramila (Ranjitha's attorney) were too busy doing something else.

Please read the Court's Daily Status for 6 September 2018, which we posted in the comments below for the official ruling.

Sex Swami Nithyananda Hones in on his Disappearing Siddhis. Court Sees Differently. Absconding!

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, where have you been? The CID police and the judge were looking all over for you today. Geez, you, Oh Great One, should have been there. At the very least, you, Salamander Nithyananda, should have brought your very own Hollywood Wax Museum piece, you know, the one that you put in center stage and have all your fawning sycophants worship when you are not there, which has been every day for almost three months. Yeah, that statue is totally creepy, but captures the essence of you. What irony. Hey, Nastyananda, do the eyes move in that statue like a grade 'B' horror movie? Just asking. OK, if that statue was too heavy for your muscle flexing yoga thugs to haul into the court, at least they should have brought in one of those cut-out cardboard pieces and told the judge that you're busy exploring the second dimension. And, as soon as one of your pretty room service ladies, ah, pumps you up and blows some life back into you, you'll be ready to proceed with the hearing. Or at least they could have said that you were run over by a steamroller and that you needed to take some of your so-called ayurvedic Viagra to pop up again. Who knows? They might have bought it.

But, now, Sri Nithyananda, your absense upset the judge, and he has cancelled your bail and issued a non-bailable arrest warrant out for you. All because you didn't show up. Tsk. Tsk.

And where were all your well-paid, well-dressed, and well-fed attorneys? Well, Well. There goes your wealth. They didn't bother to show up either. Was that like that hippie philosophy of 'what if they have a war and no one showed up'? Where were they? Were they too busy watching reruns of 'Dallas'? Did you not pay them? You oh knowing avatar of every known deity on the planet, couldn't have run out of cash, could you? We know that it's been almost three months since you last held one of your money-making programs where you separate 15 grand out dumb-as-paint dolts who've been lured in by the promise of learning grade 'B' magic tricks and passing those off as spirituality. A fool and his money are soon parted. But, you, Mr. Nithyananda, are no fool. No siree. How much money do you have squirreled away? And, what's the going currency in big house? We sure you'll have plenty of it.

Apparently, something was much more interesting to Nithyananda's attorneys than defending the Divine Avatar.
Perhaps they were binge watching reruns of 'Dallas'?

What do you have to say for yourself, MNr. Nithyananda? "Rrrgaga." What? That was short. What does that mean? "I can't talk now. The CID will be able to trace my hiding spot like they did last time, thanks to Bhaktananda and his 'Calling Mother India' calling card. Yeah, everyone calls me a mother these days, but I don't want to be called. I just want to be left alone with a few comfy amenities." So, it's true, Mr. Nithyananda, you're hiding? "Well, not exactly. I can't talk now. Here's a picture."

Sex Swami Nithyananda, the undisputed Abs Skunk King

Gee, Salamander Nithyananda, this picture seems a bit esoteric for us. What could it mean? We guess that there's a fine line between enlightened genius and downright weird and insane. We imagine that line is so thin that it doesn't exist at all. We see some buff guy showing off his tummy muscles and a stinky rodent wearing a crown on its head. Hey, Sri Nithyananda, that couldn't be you, is it? "The skunk?" No, don't be silly. The guy showing off his abdomen muscles. Yeah, it couldn't be you, oh Porkananda. Quite frankly, you've gotten quite chubby lately with all those room service ladies eager to please with late night snacks to go along with the midnight show. Sorry that we asked.

What could this picture mean? Hey, we think that we figured it out. It was like a puzzle. But, it obviously means that you, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda, want to drink a six pack of royal skunk beer. Did we get it right? Or is it because you are the king of smelly bellies?

"Rrrrah!" OK. OK. A simple 'no' would be suffice. So, what could it possible mean, Oh Mr. Holy Molly with the Dolly? "I'm abs skunk king." What? How long have you 'downloaded' English for? Yup, we remember that when you first came to the United States back in 2003, you said that you Salami Nithyananda, downloaded English. Just like you downloaded Sanskrit. Like right. Remember how you said that you traveled the breadth of India and didn't touch money but you BOUGHT that 'Learn to speak Hindi' book at the train station? Or did you swipe it? And, then you that Hindi was like Sanskrit, so you downloaded the whole language. And, have you ever downloaded Kannada, the official language of the State of Karnataka where your HQ of La-La Land Ashram is situated? We know that you're most comfortable with Tamil. And, since almost all of your Indian followers are from Tamil, it's like forming a colony in Karnataka. But, really, Sri Nithyananda. You had that ashram in Karnataka for over 16 years now. You, Oh (de)Grating one, get pulled to Court almost daily now. So, when are you going to download Kannada? We wait. Soon, you might have all the time in the world to download anything you choose including "I Love Lucy" reruns. Sorry, we digress.

So, you say that the meaning to this picture that you presented to us is that you are Abs Skunk King?

Don't you mean absconding? With a 'D'? What could a 'D' possibly be associated with you, Creepyji Nithyananda?

Oh, dear, Sri Nithyananda. You better put a spin on this right now. Or you will lose every one of your followers who are still with you. All fifty of them. You better come up with something quick!

Hey, we know, just say that you are perfecting your disappearing siddhis. Poof! You're gone! And, that you'll gladly teach these disappearing siddhis at your next Maha Sadashivoham or Inner (rude) Awakening class at a baragin $30,000 a pop, which is only double of your latest $15,000 a pop that you charge to deprived sleep from once-rich seekers who hallucinate as they stare into bricks, peak under blindfolds, and move coconuts on other people's shaky hands. Hey, you could easily pull of that price of $30K if you can make everyone disappear without a trace. Just think of all the criminals on the run that will flood your ashram? Well, shucks, your ashram is already full of criminals. Your new marketing segment will feel right at home. Cool! We hear that cash register ringing already. Clink! Clink!

On the downside, Sri Nithyananda, is that if you show up then that nasty little non-bailable arrest warrant is going to snag you right into the slammer again. Clink! Clink! Ooopsie. We had the wrong sound effects earlier. Oh, well.

Hmmm... you, salamander Nithyananda, could do more of your distant learning. But, the CID Police might be able to trace your IP address.

Oh, we get it! You, Sri Nithyananda, will just use more siddhis to get out of every going to prison, other than the 53 days in 2010 and a couple of nights in 2012. Never again. And, you will be able to teach those siddhis along with your now proven disappearing siddhis to anyone who needs to disappear and reappear but not go to jail. You, oh great one, will not only get criminals on the lam, but you will get tax cheats, politicians, PR professionals, shady real estate agents like Bhakta, and even some professional sports figures when they miss a big game due to some hangover or failed drug test. Instead of $30,000 USD a pop, you can ask and get $100,000 a pop once you have perfected the technique yourself.

It goes a little like this. Anyone, we repeat, anyone can slip out of a pair of handcuff. Child's play. Why even Paris Hilton can do that.

Paris Hilton applies the handcuff escape technique taught by Siddhi Master, Sri Nithyananda, after being pulled over for having possession of Life Bliss Holy Water.

And, look, Sri Nithyananda, here's a shot from the latest hidden camera right in your bedroom.

Practice makes perfect. Sri Nithyananda teaches the art of
escape with one-on-one sessions in his bedroom.

Child's play! We get it now, Salami Nithyananda. You're a marketing genius. To be able to attract a large crowd that is willing to shell out the big bucks, you need to make quite a sensation. Just like Harry Houdini!

Sex Swami Nithyananda tied by his own chain of fools.

All dressed up and nowhere to go, except to the
big house for one very long dinner date.

To be seen or not to be seen? That is the question...with big consequences.  Most likely to be mean up the river for the rest of his life.

Get used to it, kid.  This will be the rest of your life rotting away
because of your appetites for the flesh. Over. Done. Finished.

Boxed in with no place to go.  All that yoga and meditation might come in handy when they put you in the hole.

Sex Swami in a can. Only room for one. Milking it for what its worth.

Yes, that's it, you have to attract the crowd and then make it sensational! Then escape! Then market it and milk it! Holy cash cow here you come!

But, what if things don't go as planned, Sri Nithyananda? Do you have a backup plan? If you don't, then you could be spending the rest of your life behind bars! Will the authorities allow room service ladies to come in and help keep you in your physical body if you're stuck in the slammer? If not, then what? Oh, Sri Nithyananda, you better have perfected those escape siddhis. We don't like the looks of things if you can't. For sures!

Wake up, followers. La-la land is over.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days and Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady a.k.a. Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry or Ma Nithya Sudevi or Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are both real saviors.

Did Sex Swami Nithyananda Run Away?

Nithyananda Absconding? A Poem for His Holy Highness Criminal

Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how did your Kailish tour go? Sorry to hear that your Facebook profile has been 'hacked', but now it has been restored? Lots of new posts since then. Yes, we saw that Facebook picture of you and that empty bed. No room service lady to keep you comfortable and in your divine body? Must be rough.

Sure looks hot in that picture; not exactly Mount Kailash weather. Was the room still steamy? So where are you now? Room service porn queen, Ranjitha Menon, now re-branded as Ma Nithyananda Mayi, hinted that you were their walking around in circles in Varanasi, and Sri Akhil Kodali, Igor to Shashank, declared under penalty of perjury that he actually SAW that you, Your Holiness, were not at Kailash as advertised, but in Varanasi. Was this a deception to throw the police off? Please send us new pictures of you with embedded GSP data. We're your biggest followers, and we certainly want to follow you, Oh Great One, right into the court room.

Bad doggie! Caught making a mess in the cosmic pooja room, Sex Swami Nithyananda attempts to run away from his never-ending problems. (The bed is sure popular with this holy roller.)

Here's a poem, that you might appreciate:

Sex Swami Nithyananda can't come out to play
Because he put all his followers in the family way
Now that he is scared, he has ran away
Won't be back for another day (week, month, year, forever!)

Sorry, dear devotees. His Holly Highness has deserted you. Your just desserts.

Perhaps its time for all of you to do what Bhaktananda tried to do as he became a failed real estate salesman. And, that is pack it up and try to make a REAL living and add some kind of value in this world before you are dragged off, arrested, tried, and convicted.

La-la land is over.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days and Ma Nithya Pancake Makeup Lady a.k.a. Ms. Sarah Stephanie Landry or Ma Nithya Sudevi or Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are both real saviors.