Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how was your weekend? Grrrrraba. Grrrraba. Ai! Oh, dear Salamendar Nithyananda, our Grunteneese translator says that your weekend was long. You shouldn't party so much there, Salami Nithyananda. You're not the youthful kid that you once touted to be. So, it was the police raid at your rented illegal Gujarati Ashram where you shuffled some children over in the name of a gurukul. Cool. Yes, we know, Sri Nithyananda, that after a three-hour standoff the raid that lasted the whole night, the police finally finished there work the next morning. No sleep. But, then again, your ashramites are used to no sleep, ever.
The police take every precaution not to become infected with an STD while raiding Nithyananda's illegal child-brothel, an alleged gurukul, in Gujarat |
What did the police find, Porkananda? Was it true that several men were found in your all-women's ashram working side-by-side the underaged children and women? Yes, they must be beyond gender too, just like their guru.
And did anyone else show up to the all-night party? Why look! The very next day the Karni Sena of Rajputs and Patidar Anamat Andolan Samiti (PAAS) and broke into the now illegal ashram looking for hostages (and ready not to take prisoners). These guys mean business and stand up to anything that they believe in. Do you think, Salemendar Nithyananda, that you could get them them to believe in you? They would make wonderful recruits if you can only get them on your side. Good luck!
For Nithyananda, it's 2010 (or maybe 2012) all over again. Protests just keep coming. |
How about the other girl that the police were looking for? Nandita. Yes, Nandita is 19 years old. Barely legal, but legal. And, she released another video on Facebook stating that she didn't want to with her parents, just you. And, that soon that she will start the true-and-tried false criminal counter-accusations against her own parents. Yes, we believe her. Really. Some cynics that read this blog might claim that she is brainwashed. But, we know that she is as sincere as you you are, Oh Great Master of Debaters.
But, should we, oh (de)grated one, believe her that she is with you... abroad? Say, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you say that you were still in India just wandering until the heat is off? We mean you at least need to be consistent with whatever story your top attorney C.V. Nagesh concocted and sold to the Court. So, Mr. Nithyananda, it might behoove you to have Nandita redact her statement. It's easy, as you oh grated one, are a master. Just have someone explain that Nandita's ethereal body expanded into the time continuum and bounced from a portal on the cosmic astral plane from Venezuela to Colombia all while not leaving your bedroom. Simple. And, that clearly explains why Nandita and other followers said 'abroad'. But, then again, if Nandita just turns on the GPS feature on her phone and uploads a recent picture of her with you with all the metadata intact, then we can fully believe her as being as Truthful as one would expect after six years.
Yikes, Nithyananda, did we say six years? Hmmmm. Nandita is 19 now. She came in 2013. It's now the end of 2019. Up, 2019 minus 2013 = six years. Now, let's see. Nineteen minus six. Hey, that's just thirteen. So, the police are not pursuing her because she says that she is with you on her own 'free' will and that she is legally an adult. But, what about all the stuff that happened to her why she was just 13, 14, or 15? Let's see, there's sleep deprivation, malnourishment, forced labor, duress to commit various crimes including online fraud, and an array of mental and physical abuse, not to mention headlice and other ickies? Gee, Nithyananda, we didn't know that all that just evaporate if she now says that she is with you and is barely legal. You're a genius, Pornomahamsa Nithyananda. But, then again, you might want to be really nice to her and figure a way to shut her up for good, God forbid if she or any of your other gurukul graduates ever open their mouths just like Sarah did, curtains! So, you better let her bypass the million-dollar donation requirement and make her a deity now. It's your only hope.
And, what just happened here? The father and once-loyal administrator, Janardhan Sharma, filed a First Information Police Report (FIR) again you, Nithyananda, and Ma Pranapriya, and Ma Priyatattva with the Vivekanandnagar Police and the Gujarat State Commission for the Protection of Child Rights (GSCPCR). LEt's see. In these charges are included from the Indian Penal Code (IPC) sections:
- 365 (abduction)
- 323 (voluntarily causing hurt) to some children
- 344 (wrongful confinement for over 10 days)
- 114 (abetment to commit crimes)
- 504 (intentional insult with intent to provoke breach of the peace)
- 506(2) (criminal intimidation)
Jafarananda knows how to shake his stick at little kids. Concept: Loco Guano |
Geez, will the authorities call you out of your wandering in Columbia just to address this silly little matter? And, will you, Nithyananda, be spending more time with Ma Pranapriya, and Ma Priyatattva in the women's prison just as you did with Sri Nithyananda Bhaktananda, a.k.a. Gopal Reddy Sheelum, the now-absconding accused number 2 (A-2)? Should be cozy. There should be lots of time for you to all get to know each other and download and share secrets from the tantric internet. Could go viral! Don't forget to pack some prophylactics for you, the divine prophet of sleaze and abuse.
Hmmmmm. Sri Nithyananda, you need to do something in a hurry. This could really hurt your chances to recruit new talent and milk them for the best years of their lives. It's not just your boiler room call centers and social media predator lures that are at stake. You're whole Nithyananda lifestyle could go kaput if not handled with care. After all, who will be building and installing all those monuments to you without this free labor?
Nothing removes the ego more than working on something much greater than the collective worth of the souls from child slaves. |
If it is just Janardhan Sharma filing police reports, maybe you can claim that Nithyananda Gurukul has over a 90 percent satisfaction rate from the parents that entrusted their children to learn the Nithyananda way to spiritual bliss. You can have five stars with four-and-a-half filed with gold, your favorite color. Certainly, anyone who ever shopped on Amazon.com knows that four-and-a-half star rating is about as good as it comes. No reputation slur here.
We know what, Mr. Nithyananda, why don't you just tell everyone the Truth, because you are so Truthful! No, we are not crazy. As you know in this present era of Kaliyuga, there are all kinds of spoiled children who won't tidy up their rooms, listen to loud music, and refuse to eat their vegetables. And, there are all kinds of parents out there too lazy to do the real research like read this blog or too busy with their careers or too busy pursuing (and paying) for the special enlightenment that only you can bring them. For those parents, having kids that need help with their homework is just slowing them down. And, when these kids get indignant, it's too much for them! They will be so clad to offload these problems like hot potatoes in a steak house. These parents can now justify that dropping them off to you is not only good for them and gets rid of their headaches, but that these little brats will get the punishment that they deserve without having to 'deal with it' or face prison. For these parents, there's great satisfaction of knowing that their little monster who refused to take out the trash is now being malnourished, beaten, physically abused, infested with lice, sleep-deprived, slaving on just about anything, working a boiler room to recruit dumb adults just like their parents, committing fraud, and to the very special good-looking few, an opportunity to serve their master late at night with room service and other special surprises. And, everyone wins! The parents get rid of their problem-child while advancing their spirituality according to you. The kids, well, they become tantric masters dedicated to the man who claims he is god and could very well be a god if the insect world has such a thing, and you get free labor and lots of tantric pleasures to keep you in your body. A winner!
Newly recruited children in the Gurukul now bow and obey to every word of their heavenly master, Nithyananda |
And, if the parents are ever worried that the authorities might reprimand them for dumping their kids, tell them that there's a full plan in place. No visitation rights! Yes, even if the parents decide to interfere with the spiritual transformation, your trusted guards will show them a way like nats in the wind. And, if that doesn't work, you just shuffle them around to different locations or have them serve you in your secret hideout. Parents never have to see their kids again.
So, what do you think, Nithyananda, do we have a plan? Should work wonders.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super video YouTube stars, Ma Praba Nithyananda or Ma Nithya Prabananda or Kothari Ma Praba Swamini or Ms. Sharmila Devi P. or whatever she calls herself these days. Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda until the end. You are a real savior.