In our last blog post, Part 1: Nithyananda Goes Cruising for Bruising, 2012 Style, we did free marketing advertising for the rare and living avatar, Sri Nithyananda Swami, and his 2012 Holiday Edition of Living Enlightenment, a 21-day meditation retreat where participants will become as enlightened as Thee Great (former) Future Pharaoh of Madurai, Parmesan Nithyananda, (or at least they believe they will become like Him real soon).
After being inundated with all the multi-level marketing hype, our bloggers feel hook, line, and sinker to be with the ultimate stinker, Salamander Nithyananda, and they were begging him to take them along his ultimate 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment.
Don't touch that mouse button.... the worst is yet to be revealed!
Sex Swami Nithyananda Sinks to the Bottom of Scandelous Sea; Cashes in on 2012 Fear & Hires Tainted Cruise to Keep More Profits
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!
Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Salami Nithyananda, let us join you, Oh Great One, for your 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment while sailing the Seven Seas of chakra imbalance. We promise to behave ourselves, this time, for sure. We'll be glad to do anything like peel potatoes and slave away with no sleep for hours on end, just like we did when we lived in your ashram. We're even willing to change your bedsheets after each hourly tantric session you have. "Vraaap!!!" Oopsie, Sorry there, Sri Nithyananda, we forgot how you feel about having anyone in your room these days, other than a recent hot IA graduate who has been pinned down by you, King Nithyananda.
We have an idea there, Sri Nithyananda. Since you, Parmesan Nithyananda, will only have about 200 participants and this particular cruise ship has 964 cabins (about 2,000 passenger capacity), surely there will be other tourists on this cruise that are not Inner Awakening participants. Now, could you, Sri Nithyananda, kindly tell us the name of the tour company so we can book tickets as plain tourists? [dead silence].
OK, Salami Nithyananda. Since you once deemed us enlightened too, we'll have to use our former enlightened powers even though you revoked our certificates a long time ago. Let's see, is this your advertisement banner, Sri Nithyananda, for the 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment on a luxury cruise?:
That sure looks exactly like this photo here. Salami Nithyananda, did you get permission to use this picture? We sure hope you did. Here it is now:
...which was found on the the Friendly Planet Travel Website:
The Friendly Planet revealed that the ship's name was the Victoria, and the cruise company was the Costa. Yep, same bright yellow smoke stacks. Now, Salami Nithyananda, if we just, er, cruise over to the Costa Cruise website and search for Victoria, we think we found our match. Bull's eye.
But, just to make sure, Salamander Nithyananda, we found a picture very similar to this one that was up in your registration site:
But, lucky for us, it really was a very large image just sized small in HTML code. This sloppy web design allowed us to see the image up close and personal. Look, Sri Nithyananda, here's some of the signage to the right:
Bingo. Now we are absolutely sure that at least you, Parmesan Nithyananda, are advertising that your cruise liner will be Costa Cruise and that the ship name will be The Victoria. Come to think about it, Salami Nithyananda, as paranoid as you are, and as many police authorities are after you, wouldn't it make sense that you didn't have all this information so readily available on your website? After all, you, Sri Nithyananda, made it as simple as a tantric sleight of the hand in the bedroom for the Singapore Police, the Immigration Authorities, anyone, even us, to find you. Tag. You're it.
Gee, Salami Nithyananda, why in tarnation would you chose Costa Cruise for your 2012 edition of Living Enlightenment?
Didn't Costa Cruise already have its own 2012 experience early this year? And, are you, Parmesan Nithyananda, suppose to save your followers and not drown them? Well, drowning them in debt is fair game, as long as you, Sri Nithyananda, get their cash. But, just look at these pictures:
Salamander Nithyananda, it sees that all the problems for Costa Cruises started earlier this year in January 2012, where captain for Costa Cruises ran the ship into a big rock near a port in Italy. Let's take a look at some of the headlines, shall we?
- BBC News: Italy cruise ship Costa Concordia: Search for missing
- The Telegraph: Cruise disaster: three confirmed dead and 69 passengers still missing
9 out of 10 Enlightened Masters Prefer Costa Cruises for Their Instant Enlightenment Programs
Sex Swami Nithyananda Promises to do the Death Meditation During His 2012 Cruise
Oh no, Salami Nithyananda, these stories about Costa Cruises don't look very good. But, it was so nice of you, Oh Great One, to give them a second chance. Just like you, Sri Nithyananda, their image was unjustly tarnished, especially like that poor misunderstood captain, Francesco Schettino, of the Concordia who claims that he abandoned the ship with hundreds of passengers still on and needing to be rescued because he accidentally fell into a lifeboat. That sounds like the same bad luck that you, Sri Nithyananda, had getting filmed in bed with Ranjitha while you were sick, under trance, experimenting, and being medically attended by her. If Captain Francesco Schettino is out of jail and is the captain of your cruise tour, perhaps you, Oh Tantric Master of the Universe, Salami Nithyananda and Captain Francesco Schettino can have a drink or two and exchange stories about the vilifying press and everyone out to discredit you. Such victims in this modern age.
Parmesan Nithyananda, did Costa Cruises give you a big discount for selecting them? Or were they so desperate for passengers that Costa Cruises gave into all your demands? Have a fire ritual on the deck? Sure. Seclude the pool for an enlightenment session? No problem. Cordon off one of the jacuzzis exclusively for your tantric practices? Consider it done. Schedule young housekeeping staff (male or female) to enter your room wearing sexy French maid outfits? They are suiting up now. Rename the ship to the Nithya Victoria-ananda? It's being painted as you speak. We're sure that Costa Cruise will do anything to have, you, Salami Nithyananda, a rare and enlightened living avatar to energize their image.
In addition to the right price and concessions, perhaps you, Salamander Nithyananda, might find Costa Cruises just a perfect fit to your style of business. Looking at the news feeds, there's allegations of sex, womanizing, sexual abuse, drugs, drinking, and other de facto modes of life within your organization. Gee, the whole crew of the now named Nithya Victoria-ananda might be ready to start doing foot washing rituals and bowing down in every direction to you, Sri Nithyananda. Hmmmmm. This might work out just fine. But, we'll keep our life preservers on, just in case.
To be continued... Same Nithya Cult Time, Same Nithya Cult Channel.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against '