Holy Tour Guide Sex Swami Nithyananda Charges His Followers $10,000 U.S.D. Each for a Luxury Cruise with a 2012 Spirituality Theme
Jai Parmesan Sri, Sri Nithyananda Salami Ki Jai!
Hi Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? OK, we know that you, Salami Nithyananda, have disappeared. What has it been, 49 days missing from your ashram in Bidadi and 51 days on Twitter? Time does fly. But, the holy 2012 holiday edition of Living Enlightenment for all your rich and lucky followers to fork over $10,000.00 U.S.D. each, that's still on? Boy, that must be some date. 12-12-12. Hmmmm. That's 6-6-6 times two. Very auspicious indeed.
And, where will this 2012 / 12-12-12 holiday edition of Living Enlightenment be held, Parmesan Nithyananda? On a luxury cruise ship? Wow, none of your followers ever have to rough it like you did during your alleged wandering sanyasi (monk) years. You, Sri Nithyananda, remember... where you did all those legendary things barefooted for 10 year, then it was revised down to six years, but you were really hanging out at the Ramakrishna Mutt the whole time. But, back to your tour guide duties, Mr. Nithyananda.... we bet that the cruise ship is full of amenities. Let's look on your site... there's an indoor and an outdoor pool, open bars, gym, a disco, dining and snack facilities, sunbathing, yoga mats, and plenty of private beds, which makes it the perfect get away for spiritual training and instant enlightenment.
Gee, King Nithyananda, you are so resourceful. Even though you have been banished from the Holy Brothel of Bidadi and the land-rich vacation villa of Madurai Adheenam, you, Oh Great One, have found away to still conduct Inner Awakening, and do so on a luxury cruise line. We bet all those ancient saddus (renunciant monks) from the past would just turn green in envy (or maybe in disgust). Lots of followers, lots of luxury. Why even L. Ron Hubbard of Scientology fame along with his Sea Organization would find this too good to be true.
Oh, Holy Tour Guide, let's tune into a few of your promotional videos, shall we?
That very sincere and almost human voice surely convinces us that signing up for Inner Awakening will be the right thing to do. Gee, Sri Nithyananda, we always went about getting more energy the wrong way. In the past, we tried chugging coffee to get 1,300 percent more energy, but now just by attending, we'll get the same results. Totally percolating! And, even though we don't have all those diseases that that coin-operated machine mentioned, we do have about six of them. Can we still attend? We can't wait to be hugged by you, Sri Nithyananda. Feel our embrace.
And, look, here's the 2012 Holiday Edition of Inner Awakening. So nice of that human plant, Mr. Subramaniam, from San Jose, California to stage you, Salami Nithyananda, a slow ball to hit out of the ballpark. Gee, Mr. Subramaniam made you look like Barry Bonds. Totally authentic. And, Sri Nithyananda, you do remember San Jose, do you? We bet it brings up blissful engrams in your bio-memory. Let's watch you answer Mr. Subramaniam's sincere question now, shall we?
Wow, Your X-celency (X-293) Salami Nithyananda, from this video we learned that during your Akashic Readings, 10,000 Nithyananda's are expressing through one Nithyananda body. Boy, won't some lucky room service lady get jolt that night. And, attending this December 2012 Inner Awakening will be equal to attending 108 Inner Awakenings. Golly, Sri Nithyananda, your multi-level marketing efforts will just soar! All those lucky graduates who already forked over thousands of dollars for a past Inner Awakening program will gladly fork over an additional $10K per head. Add airfare, accommodations, and required donations afterwards, and the price can easily go up to $15,000.00 U.S.D. per person. A family of four might be out $60,000. Add in lost income, spent vacation, and additional travel costs, and these families will be ready to be true sanyasis, that's if you, Sri Nithyananda, count having big debt and no means to pay it off the same as freedom. We hope none of your followers had to quit their jobs just to attend this auspicious occasion. Then again, if the world ended, and only they survived, then all that cash might have been well spent. Sri Nithyananda, if your followers were the only ones to survive a 2012 disaster, will this cause a new species to occur on planet earth or will dumb apes just get a new makeover?
And, this next video of yours, Parmesan Nithyananda, is the grand finale! Now, we want to join that cruise with all our pocketbook!
Yes! That's our favorite video of yours, Oh Great One, Ex-293, Fired Pontiff Nithyananda. That music is really rock'n. Is it the sound track of the Disco Omen? Let's quote some of your pearls of wisdom, shall we?:
"The visualizations are getting processed in your brain without instigating any verbalization." (Hmmm. Does that mean you, Sri Nithyananda, will shut up and just let us have some peace?)Hmmmm. There's a small problem here, Salamander Nithyananda. If the whole world is going to experience this state, then why do us followers have to pay $10,000 a pop just to be around you, Oh Great One? Couldn't they just stay home, save all that money and time and get the same spiritual benefits? And, take a simple nonverbal communications skills tip from us. Next time, you, Sri Nithyananda, might not want to circumnavigate your ear with your index finger. We know that you, Salami Nithyananda, were only demonstrating the processing of your brain, but well, it has a certain regional meaning in the U.S. It's just crazy; maybe you, Mr. Nithyananda, are just giving us a visualization without needing to verbalize anything.
"And without getting converted as verbalization. That is the state that I call exactly as restful awareness."
"Between December 12-12-12 and January 2nd, 2013, the whole world is going to experience this space."
And, what about all those empty seats in the video spinning around the ship's facilities? Aren't these seats supposed to be filled? Even if you, King Nithyananda, make the Kamalakars happy and invite Clint Eastwood (a renown, but not so respected Republican), he can only utilize one empty chair. But, there's a whole sea of them. Hmmmm... is this the prelude to another mystery of mysteries? A real who-done-it? Suspense.
And, Sri Nithyananda, we can't wait to learn more about this cruise ship and the cruise line and everything! Can we come, and be a regular passenger like the other tourists on the ship? We promise not to get in the way, and only use the swimming pool after you enlightened everyone inside there. Can we? Please!!!!!!
To be continued...
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
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