Jai Paramahamsa Sri, Sri Nithyananda Swami Ki Jai!
Hi Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? [ silence ] Sri Nithyananda? [ more silence ] Oh, yoohoo, Sri Nithyananda? Hmmmm. Swami Nithyananda must have gone off some place. That's funny, he was sitting on his golden throne just a minute ago. Hmmmm. We know where to find him. Ah ha! There you are, Sri Nithyananda. We know you would be hiding underneath the bed. But, wait? What's this? You, Swami Nithyananda, are there alone. There' no lady, minor, or even another half-dress man there with you. OK, so now we know things are not normal here in your ashram in Bidadi. What happened?
Yes, Sri Nithyananda, we remember the press meet last Thursday where those sneaky reporters tried to serve you a summons and you ordered them out. And then under your orders, all your devotees rallied together and threw them out, literally. That was brutal. We got to see the rough and tough side of Ma Arunachalananda. Ferocious. Even Ma Swarnalata Devi Beravol, mother of accused no. 5, Ma Sachitananda, a.k.a. Ragani Vallabhaneni get into it. Now we got to see how Ma Sachitananda became such a tough cookie. A chip off the old iron lady.
And the next day? More of the same? Why you, Swami Nithyananda, had another press release the day after and it ended in another free-for-all melee? And on both Thursday and Friday, some protester came and on both days that ended in hand-to-hand combat? Frightening.
And, this is nothing new. You, Oh Great Master, Nithyananda, trained us to fight back. To roar like lions and eat annoying goats. Chomp. Chomp. Like unleashing a can of killer bees, Swami Nithyananda, we're at your service. We're willing to stick our stingers in anyone, indiscriminate of age, sex, or marriage status. Sri Nithyananda, we learned all this from watching from your example. Really.
So, what's the big deal? What? The police arrested about 15 of your ashramites including some of the women who chased, pushed, pulled, and punched away that reporter? What are the criminal charges? Manhandling? Where on earth did those women learn how to do manhandling? Did someone teach them this, or did they just naturally pick up manhandling on their own? Heavens! It's amazing to think of what type of enlightened training goes on there in your ashram, Sri Nithyananda.
And what about those party crashers at the Gates of your Ashram, Swami Nithyananda? We know that people are seeking out your enlightened presence. Hmmmm, they did look like they might have caused some mischief. Good thing you, Sri Nithyananda, and your ashramite beat them to the punch. Literally.
We've been thinking, Sri Nithyananda, perhaps you should make a new rule and place a big sign that says something like 'By Entering These Gates, You Must Meet All These Qualifications to Enter the Serene and Divine Sanctuary of His Divine Grace, Paramahamsa Nithyananda or Consent to These Following Conditions:
- Done an official and blessed mala (rosary) of the Divine Avatar, Nithyananda. The holy mala must be worn and visible at all times.
- Have attended at least two programs conducted by Nithyananda Swami.
- Able to recite on demand His Holy Grace, Nithyananda's official Guru Pooja mantra. (Applicants that can only recite the standard Guru Pooja that doesn't substitute Nithyananda's holy name with Lord Shiva will be denied entry.)
- Carry over $500 (per person) for the purpose of giving a free tax-deductible donation for the Divine Avatar to conduct charity of His choice.
- Have or in the process (with verification) of legally changing your name to one that is issued by his Lordship, Paramahamsa Nithyananda.
- Have never admitted to reading any blogs, news articles, and other slanderous material that defames the Living Avatar, Swami Nithyananda (see 16-page annex of current lawsuits registered with the Nithyananda Foundation.)
- Applicant consents to do tantric on demand with the Holy Master, Nithyananda.
- Applicant acknowledges that by entering these gates, applicant now has privileged inside, proprietary information about Nithyananda, Inc. Any utterances, gestures, or writing that expose these trade secrets or are deemed spurious, derogatory, or slanderous will result in civil and criminal charges against the applicant.
- [ readers, feel free to submit updated rules to add to this post ]
Anyone who does not meet these qualifications (including journalists, police, Government Officials, wandering sadhus, Girl Scouts selling cookies, rival cult leaders, etc.) will be denied entry, detained, arrested, and/or beaten to a pulp.That ought to do it, Sri Nithyananda. No more undesirables entering your holy ashram ever again.
With Love and Grace - Nithyananda's Welcoming Committee
But, Sri Nithyananda, what's this here? The naysayers are saying that you, Divine Avatar, Nithyananda, should peaceful, accepting, and nonviolent. Perhaps even, 'unclutched' toward all these matters. Then these same naysayers point to what Sri Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi did (or did not do) when thugs broke in, ransacked his ashram, and beat him. Just look:
The Night that Thieves Broke Into Sri Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi's AshramAnd another mischievous naysayer informed us about how you told the ashramites in your Los Angeles Ashram way back in 2007 that if there was any conflict between two people, that even the person in the 'right' was also in the 'wrong' for allowing and creating that conflict to happen. Paramahamsa Nithyananda, were those your words? Really? Because this same naysayer now says you, Sri Nithyananda, said that just to do more mind-control games against them, and further take away any free will to reason and break away from your mental slavery.
It was at 11-30 in the middle of the night of the 26th of June 1924. Though at that time Sri Ramanasramam consisted of only a few thatched sheds, some thieves came thinking it to be a rich mutt. They tried to break in through the windows by smashing them, and threatened to destroy everything. The noise woke up the devotees who were sleeping in the shed where Sri Bhagavan was Iying. Sri Bhagavan invited the thieves to come in through the proper doorway and asked the devotees to give them a hurricanelamp so that they could look for whatever they wanted, yet they shouted angrily, “Where are you keeping your money?”. “We are sadhus who live by begging, we have no money. From what you can find here, you may take away anything you want. We will come outside,” so saying, Sri Bhagavan came and sat outside followed by the devotees. As they came out of the shed, the thieves beat them with sticks, and one blow even fell on the thigh of Sri Bhagavan. “If you are still not satisifed, beat the other thigh as well,” said Sri Bhagavan, feeling sorry for them!
Was this to be the limit of His kindness towards the thieves? No, He also prevented a young devotee who,unable to bear the sight of Sri Bhagavan being beaten,jumped up with an iron bar in retaliation. Sri Bhagavan advised him, “Let them do their dharma [i.e. role]. We are sadhus, we should not give up our dharma. In future, the world will blame only us if any wrong happens. When our teeth bite our tongue, do we break them and throw them away?” “Though others do wrong to one, it is best not to return the same in wrath.”.‘Tirukkural’, verse 157Some days later the police caught the thieves and brought them before Sri Bhagavan, and an officer asked Him to identify the one who had beaten Him on that night. Sri Bhagavan at once replied with a smile, “Find out whom I beat [in a previous birth], for it is he who has beaten me now!”. He never denounced the criminal!
“Conquer the foe by your worthy patience and for ever forget the wrong done to you on account of ignorance.”.‘Tirukkural’, verse 157“The right way of punishing the wrong-doer is to do good to him and to forget his wrong.”.‘Tirukkural’, verse 314
Source: The Path of Sri Ramana Part 1 book By Sri Sadhu Om
Sri Nithyananda, if these really were your words will you take any responsibility for creating this conflict? We're confused, how are you going to resolve this mess?
Wait! What's this Divine Avatar, Nithyananda! The Government claims it will now take over the ashram as stated by Law minister S Suresh Kumar (DNA: Daily News Analysis). How can this be? You, Paramahamsa Nithyananda claim to be the incarnation of the Divine Maha Kali and Maha Kal Bhairva. Are you not? Why the real Divine Maha Kali and Maha Kal Bhairva could reverse this measure with a blink of their Divine eye.
Breaking News! No sooner than we pushed the 'publish' button, The Hindu paper states that Karnataka Minister for Law and Parliamentary Affairs, S. Suresh Kumar, claims that he was misquoted.Swami Nithyananda, didn't you tell us that we needed to face our fears? That the only way to get over them was to go through them? We're even more confused. Oh, we see, Divine Avatar, Nithyananda, all these concepts of 'facing fears' and 'nonviolence', and 'turn-the-other-cheek' (not applicable to tantra practices with Ranjitha) are all out-dated, old-school, and so 2006. Just as your slogan that crooked-face eNTV announcer Mark likes to announce on every news broadcast, "This is 2012, the 'Year of Meditation and Cosmic Partying, the type that does not do damage to our bodies (unless of course practitioner is hit by a protester, police cane, or fellow ashramite in need of a 'victim' photo op)". Yes, this is 2012! You, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, are only interested in doing damage to people's minds, (unless of course we count all the ill effects from sleep deprivation.) You, Swami Nithyananda, no longer seem interested in breaking canes over your followers' heads like you once did. Why all those other old and out-dated-concepts of spirituality need to be chucked out the door and new updated techniques that were first devoloped by god-man Osho / Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh need to be updated and then replaced. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Your goal to enlightened 10,000,000 million people on this planet means that no time can be wasted for such time-consuming practices of tolerance and nonviolence. You, Avatar Pushpa, Nithyananda, have come down to this planet just to do that. And, if there are police, government officials, and pesky protesters, just damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. We're glad that we are following a truly enlightened master, Nithyananda, one that has the full fighting spirit to accomplish the true works of a Divine Master in this difficult age.
“While speaking to mediapersons at Dharwad [on Saturday] I had only said that the State government is observing the developments at the Nityananda ashram and the Chief Minister would take suitable decision after consulting experts”, he said while adding that the government “will not protect anybody.”Perhaps Sex Swami Nithyananda came up with enough operating cash to satisfy the Government requirements to stay in control of his kingdom. But, we'll see.
Ah, small problem, here, Sri Nithyananda. Just where are you now? Well, we found you under the bed, that's true, but your Twitter feed on Saturday, June 9, 2012 says:
Dear ones love and blessings to all of you Iam safe and healthy beblissful (Sri Nithyananda's Tweet on Twitter)And then on your divine website, Nithyananda.org, you also make mention that you're 'traveling' and 'heard about the incidents from far way'.
Why look right here: Sri Nithyananda's 'Out of the Office' letter.
In that same letter you said:
"I heard about the problems caused in the Bidadi ashram by the anti-social elements, but thanks to the timely intervention of the Bidadi and Ramangara police, all matters are under control."Really? You, Sri Nithyananda, quoted that the Ramangara police have matters under control? Are you, Divine Avatar, Nithyananda, referring to the fact that the police arrested 15 of your ashramites? Are the fact that your enlightened followers were not able to use your teaching and fighting techniques and control the situation with unenlightened beings?
Paramahamsa Nithyananda, these not-at-home posts look like the same tactics you used when you were absconding from the law back in 2010. Swami Nithyananda, you are not afraid of being arrested again? After all, being arrested has become part of your routine. Paramahamsa Nithyananda, you are not a coward, are you? Say it isn't true! Please tell us your location, Swami Nithyananda, please!!! We want to be able to position our bodies in your holy direction when we do your Guru Puja every day as per your orders so we can be sure we get all the wealth you promised us if we did these techniques. Please tell us that everything is going to be OK. Please! Something must be done!
We know the answer, Living Incarnate Nithyananda! We'll use that handy 'Dial the Avatar' number to so we can forward our prayers to the Avatar himself to that the Avatar can be saved. Obviously, the Divine Avatar cannot pray for himself when He is in trouble, so He needs His devotees to pray for him, or at least cough up enough cash to pay for his anticipated bail. Here we go:
We feel much better now, Living Avatar, Swami Nithyananda. We know that everything is going to be OK. One question, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, was that a toll free number or a 1-900 number? Just asking.
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against '