Three Nithyananda Henchmen Bagged by the Police

Sex Swami Nithyananda Without Bodyguards. Sachit Arrested. Ayya Hiding. Bhaktananda Doing His Taxes
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. What's new? "Rrrrrrrrau." Oh, yes, we saw your website and your Twitter nitwits flashed out the news. Three arrested. Why, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you got a scoop. With reporting like that, we don't really need to keep this blog going. That will free up our resources and we then can focus on things like how to close up your cult shop. But, we just can't resist giving a quick blog entry.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, how many people were arrested? Why one of your top Twitter-twits, Nithyananda Family, fired of this off in your disgraced FaceBook site:

Nithyananda Family
‎24 Feb 2011-FLASH NEWS!!
ONE MORE ATROCITY BY CID & POLICE AGAINST NITHYANANDA ASHRAMITES - Four Nithyananda ashramites arrested forcibly without an FIR!!
Sri Nithya Sachitananda Swami, Rishi Nithya Atmaprabhananda, Rishi Nithya Dayananda and Sri Nithya Shantimayananda are under illegal arrest!!!
More details awaited...

'Swami' Nithyananda, they counted four (4) people. That's 1-2-3-4. But, wait, Sri Nithyananda, isn't Rishi..., so you now call them Rishi in honor of Osho? Sorry, we digress, isn't Rishi Nithya Atmaprabhananda the same as Rishi Nithya Dayananda? Brilliant, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, mixing up the names to keep the police confused must be working for even your ashramites are confused. Or maybe their just tired. Or maybe they are in just experiencing too much bliss. So, it looks like three people with Sri Nithya Sachitananda Swami, a.k.a. Mr. Siva Vallabhaneni, the crown jewel of the catch. Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, Sachitananda has now been arrested twice. Does that make him more experienced than you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? You have some catching up to do, or Sachitananda will become even more enlightened than you, Sri Nithyananda.

So, Sri Nithyananda, any predictions who will be arrested next? We know that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, being an enlightened healing master with all your claims of seeing the future and changing the future will see this as just too easy. After all, no one can claim so much of building their empire at such an early age as you can. Even Adolf Hitler waited until his mid 40's before staking out his claim. So, Sri Nithyananda, who's next? We have an idea. If you're short on bribe money, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, can sell cards with grids of 25 spaces on them and then print your ashramites' names randomly in each box. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda can have the center square. That block seems like a good place for you. Then, as you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, and your ashramites (as well as your other criminal partners) get arrested, your fans can cross off the names. Who ever gets the winning card of five-in-a-row wins! You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, can offer some prize as an incentive, like an offer to do a free pada puja (foot washing ceremony) to the winner(s) which is a $2,000.00 U.S.D. value.

Nithyananda lines up the marketing potential with a new twist on Bingo

Sri Nithyananda, do you like that idea? "Rrraarara."  Hmmmm. Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, with the CID Police Team arresting batches at a time, there could be multiple winners. That could cause some problems. Better make it a prize that doesn't cost any money just in case the Police arrest everyone at once. Oh, Great Predictor of the Future, that's you, Sri Nithyananda, will there be any more arrest today? Sorry, we asked that, 'Swami' Nithyananda. But, since you just sent over 60 people to peacefully protest in front of the police station, why you just made it even easier for the police to do their job. It just like a combination of pick-n-pull (junkyard salvage) and room service. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are familiar with room service, correct?

And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what will all your supporters be doing there? Oh, fasting.... indefinitely. Hmmm, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we were kind of hoping that you would come up with something creative like demanding that they do a new breathing technique like hold their breath indefinitely. Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we realized that you mastered that technique at an early age, being an enlightened, genuine Paramahamsa. We have reports about you as early as two-year-old, that you were not only able to hold your breath, but you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, were able to kick and scream at the same time. A true prodigy.

Oh, we get it now, 'Swami' Nithyananda. We see the inner-logic for having them all do a prolonged, indefinite fast without food. Sri Nithyananda, that sounds like a win-win situation. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda get to have your room service ladies slim up for their next round of tantric enlightenment and at the same time, you save on food cost. Simply close the kitchen and count the savings. That will more than offset the cash it will take to spring them from the slammer. In fact, you, Sri Nithyananda, might even have a little bit of pocket change afterwards. So, did you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, orchestrate this little event to get a little positive cash flow going? We now established a motive.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, we realize that you probably did not organize this cash-making scheme yourself because now you might get a little lonely. Who, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are you going to talk to now? In the daytime of course. Yes, that little camera in your bedroom revealed who you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda talk to at night, besides the ghosts. Anyway, with Sachit arrested, Aiyya hiding, and Bhaktananda doing his taxes on a conjugal visit (renunciant style) to the U.S., who are you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, going to share your business deals with? Well, Sri Nithyananda, we know that you're a resourceful guy. Let's see. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda could pass notes in jail. We know that you had 53 days to master that system. And, Aiyaa hiding from nonbailable arrest warrants doesn't mean that he's out-of-reach. If you, 'Swami' Nithyananda and him purchase enough cell phones and SIM cards and change them every hour, you can probably stimulate the local economy and keep in touch with him without being immediately caught. But, there's always that risk. And, where exactly is Aiyaa hiding? Is he under your bed, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? Oh, we're sorry. We forgot. That parking spot is already reserved. Well, maybe he's close by. In case he's not, that would leave you with Bhaktananda who is vacationing in the United States. Yes, with modern technology, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda can ring him up anytime without using your supernatural powers. Simply let your fingers do the walking (just as we saw them do in that video of yours.) But, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, will have to realize that if poor Bhaktananda is going to be called by you at all hours, he'll have less time to do his U.S. taxes. Bhaktananda's taxes are not a straight-forward event. After all, Bhaktananda is a genuine sanyasi (renunciant monk) who's on the fast-track for enlightenment, but still masters your business deals. Therefore, his taxes must be complicated. Let's see, Sri Nithyananda, can he write off that trip to Nepal and later to Himachal Pradesh he took with you last Spring as a business expense? Does he have to claim that the airfare paid by tax payers of India he took with you again back to Bangalore as a benefit (income)? And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, all those charity donations he made to all those needy causes to well connected people, can he write those off without showing a receipt? Yes, that does get complicated. Poor guy, Bhaktananda, probably doesn't even have enough time to do what he loves to do most and make cheap and tawdry imitations of Lord Kal Bhairava to wimpy little informers who make police reports when they receive his death threats. Sri Nithyananda, no humor these guys have. They need to learn something from a genuine Paramahamsa on how to lighten up and enjoy life, just like you do, Sri Nithyananda.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.