Nithyananda Prediction: Nithyananda Celebrates Diwali Again & Again in the Year of the Rabbit

Sex Swami Nithyananda Gets a Bang Out of the Lunar New Year; Diwali Deja Vu All Over Again
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. How are you doing? <<dead silence>> Hmmmmm, couldn't be samadhi (trance). We know what that looks like when it's done by Sex Swami Nithyananda... we remember all those videos when he was under samadhi with Ranjitha, the married film actress. Meditation? Nah. He only does that with lots of cameras and blue kerosene that was intended for the poor. We know, 'Swami' Nithyananda is upset with us because we ignored him for over a month. That must be it. OK, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We're very, very, very sorry that we haven't written anything about you for over a month. Yeah, we didn't forget your press conference, although it was just more of the same. We promise to embed your videos and give a full commentary and analysis, just as you have grown to expect. Actually, we've been a bit busy. 'Swami' Nithyananda, we figured that if you can celebrate your birthday on January 1st as well as March 13... hey, Sri Nithyananda, everyone knows including the passport people that your real birthday is March 13, then we thought we could celebrate Diwali several times in one year. We just know how you love fireworks.

Multiple Diwali celebrations are in store for 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda

...especially when the fireworks are up close and personal. Kabam! and a Kaboom! and perhaps even a Kabloop. Ok, that last one fizzled, but we're working on it. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, we actually trying to make everyday your special and personalized Diwali celebration, just for you.

Nithyananda's celebrations have a shorter fuse than normal

And, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, speaking of fireworks, we thought of another reason to light a bunch of them off in your honor, the Lunar New Year. Yes, Sri Nithyananda. Happy New Year! Do you, 'Swami' Nithyananda know what year it is? We'll give you a hint. Last year, was the Year of the Tiger. Yes, as you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda know better than any of us, that year was full of unpredictable surprises and turns of events no one could guess. Yes, that was a hectic year, 'Swami' Nithyananda. But, good news. This year is suppose to be not as fierce. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, a calmer year that has a fluffy outlook to it. Give up, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? Why this Lunar New Year is the Year of the Rabbit. Yes, the rabbit is known for diplomacy and close multiplying relationships. We think that you, Sri Nithyananda, just might enjoy this year.

But, wait, 'Swami' Nithyananda. This is no ordinary Year of the Rabbit. It's the Year of the Metal Rabbit. Is that metal as in heavy metal music? Oh, no, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We don't like the sounds of this either. Just look!

Nithyananda will rock out in the year of the Metal Rabbit

We don't know what's going to happen. Maybe those astrologers got it wrong. After all, they claimed that on your second 'mystical' birth date that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda were born under:

1 January 1978, in the Tamil month of Margazhi, in Chitra nakshatra, Kanya rasi, ashtami tithi in kanya lagna

But, nothing like that matches up for January 1, 1978. Not even close. So, maybe, Sri Nithyananda, instead of the Year of the Metal Rabbit, it is actually the Year of the Mental Rabbit.

A few surprises await Nithyananda and his cult in the Year of the Mental Rabbit

Oh dear, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. That doesn't seem very assuring either. Maybe that featured 'Mental Rabbit' is a direct ancestor of the Killer Bunny from the Monty Python's 'The Holy Grail'. You see, 'Swami' Nithyananda, what seems like an innocent and harmless bunny could actually come and wipe out you and your not-so merry (maybe it's once-upon-a-time-married) men. Why you're in luck, Sri Nithyananda, here's that Killer Bunny now:

Nithyananda Shadows the Monty Python


Frightening. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda better look after your soft and fluffy crowd with a little more care and concern. Or, this re-enactment just might come true. Even though you, Sri Nithyananda, are well equipped with lawyers, thugs, and cash, you're no match to the wrath of justice and the truth. Even meek creatures can mow you and your fraud squad down.

OK, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. We'll set a few predictions that we have for you and your cult for the beginning months of the Year of the Metal Rabbit:

1. The Deccan Herald uncovers some hard facts about you, Sri Nithyananda and your fraud, and then you threaten this paper with your Final, Final, Final, Last Time, and This-Time-We-Mean-It Legal Notice
2. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda release some more so-called 'truths' about your secret communications with aliens in hopes to lure rich donors from Star Trek conventions into your cult
3. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda will claim that Mubarak collaborated with the CIA and Church of Right-Wing-Advocacy to hire top-notch Hollywood geniuses to morph the videos that you already confessed to starring in just to discredit your money-making cult
4. That you, 'Swami' Nithyananda actually tell the Truth for once and disclose Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's dirty dealings and womanizing exploits in hopes that the media will give him even more attention (and you less attention) than you're getting now. Oops, that prediction already came true. At least the effort is there.  OK, that one doesn't count, Sri Nithyananda
5. To raise money, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda will turn your so-called temples into Halloween theme parks to attract new followers and fill the coffers
6. That you, Sri Nithyananda, will collaborate with the Church of Scientology and pay them tribute and royalties in exchange for legal protection, secrecy, and continued 501(c)3 nonprofit status from the IRS
7. With the launch of your new television channel, you 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda will compete for audiences who would normally watch infomercials featuring Eric Estrada and the George Foreman Grill and actually buy that stuff
8. No matter what decision the court rules upon, you, Sri Nithyananda, and your team of attorneys will find a way to delay, challenge, and overrule the verdict until everyone grows old and retires

We think that's enough predictions for the next couple of weeks. We'll let our loyal readers come up with a few more.

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.