Nithyananda, the Holy Cockroach, Tells All About His Sex Scandal
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. Wow, you still have a way to inspire us. Something about your charisma, no doubt. We watched your video titled "Nithyananda on Ranjita" wow, '
Anyway, let's watch you, a holy legal sex predator versed in tantra knowledge speak on Ranjitha before we comment more about you, '
Brilliant there, '
And, then you '
And, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you try to marry Ranjitha after the scandal broke out? But, she didn't return your calls as much as you tried? Wow, that would have been brilliant. Then it would have just been a 'private' matter between you and her... and just giving up that sanyasi title to those who know what it means, you would have been back on your throne receiving piles of 24K gold flowers like you did last Guru Poornima. But, '
And, for our loyal readers who might not understand the dialog of a loud and obnoxious cockroach sounds like here's the transcribed script:
Announcer / Title and Credits:Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Nithyananda on (top of) Ranjitha
True confessions of a cockroach
A Nithya Cockroach
by self-titled ‘Paramahamsa’ Nithyananda, holy legal sex predator
Well, there Sri Nithyananda, can you say a few words about Ranjitha?
Well, I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I only know how to say one thing over and over again. Unless of course, I rip off somebody, but that’s one of my trade secrets us cockroaches vow not to tell. Ooops.
Oh, so you want to know about Ranjitha? That married film star lady? Why out of all my thousands of room service ladies, she was the best. You, see I have a third antennae. You, know, all cockroaches have two antennas, but I’m no ordinary cockroach, I’m a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. That means I claim to be enlightened.... and there’s suckers out there willing to believe that. But, since I’m a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, I have a third antennae just hidden that only comes out when you do secret ancient tantric rituals.
And, I can tell you that Ranjitha devotee of mine, did far and above the best tantric rituals I have ever seen. She is soooo sincere; my third antennae would just pop out, out of nowhere. There’s no way I could have replicated that for the CID Police team. Just no way. And, because of that, I told the CID Police Team that I didn’t know if I was a male cockroach, a female cockroach, or a neutered cockroach. But, let me tell you something. Besides scavenging for food and living off the riches of other people, us cockroaches know how to proliferate. Yes. That’s our specialty. Especially a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I average over 200 eggs a day. Wow, I’m such a holy stud... for a cockroach.
Yes, that married film star lady friend of mine, she was the best room service lady ever. She would work overtime, and I mean way into the wee hours just to make sure that the tantric rituals were completed just like they were in the days of Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). In this way, she was far and above the most sincere devotee I ever had. I just love sincerity. I can’t get enough of it.
And that darn hidden camera just spoiled it all. You see, I’m a cockroach, a Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach... and I do my best ancient tantric rituals only in the dark. But, now that there’s light shining in on my operation and that secret camera filming, my best room service ladies go hiding for cover. Just like my hundreds of brothers and sisters. A light goes on, and they go scampering. Legs are flying everywhere. No more cover from my dark practices. Oh, it is such a pity; that had to go and ruin it all.
Well, there Sri Nithyananda, do you feel bad about what you did?
Feel bad? Why I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy cockroach. I never felt an once of remorse ever in my whole life. Never. Never. Never. Never. Do you think us cockroaches would ever feel bad about anything? Well, let me tell you. We cockroaches are scavengers. We know that we could never make it on our own. But, as long as there are people willing to believe that we’re enlightened, we can do just about anything. Sit on gold thrones, eat fine food, have big fat wallets, and get the best room service you can imagine. You should try being a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach.
See if you were a cockroach, especially a Nithya Cockroach, someone can take a big shoe and whack you so hard that you go SPLAT. But just in a few hours later, you’re back on YouTube just like nothing ever, ever, ever, ever happened at all.
Well, there Sri Nithyananda, that’s very interesting. You mentioned about all the pain that was caused? Any words on that?
Oh, yeah, that was just a trade secret of us cockroaches, you see I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, I have no problem climbing the biggest stinkiest hill of manure just so I can look down at other people and claim the higher ground. You see, I don’t give a rat’s tush about anything, especially my dumb-lanced devotees. They are my slaves. No sleep and no decent food... and work and work and work until they are hanging high and dry. That is the best way to turn their minds into mush. That’s all they are good for. These devotees are my special donkeys who I tricked into building and financing my entire empire in exchange for my special brand of ‘enlightenment’. What suckers. Totally brainwashed dolts to become ego fodder. My type of donkey-people.
You see, I’m a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And my skin is made out of Teflon®. Nothing sticks to it. I can go through a whole pile of garbage as high as the Himalayas and come out looking as clean as an angel. You see, as a cockroach. A Nithya Cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. I will make this whole big sex mess with my room service ladies look like it was the work of some other bad people who went and hurt my precious devotees. And after scampering in the cracks, I will turn it around and frame all those angry and cheated people and say that it is their fault, not mine. And, then my results? Hee, hee. Not only do I look innocent, but other people look bad and hurtful. They are the problem; not me. And, the best thing about it is that I come off as a holy cockroach. A Nithya cockroach. And I still am able to go about my dirty business as usual. Then AS I sit on top of that big heap of manure, I can say that I’m now the king of stink. Because I’m a cockroach. A Nithya cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. And, cockroaches just love stink. In fact, after this interview, I’m going to grab some of my room service ladies and I’m going to go hunting for some fish stink...
Well, ah, thank you there, Sri Nithyananda. I think that’s a little bit too much information. We need to end this interview in a hurry. OK, thanks for listening. Tune in next week for another addition of Nithyananda, the Nithya Cockroach.
(an aside): Ah, someone grab the mic away from that cockroach. I heard enough of him already. That’s one fifthly cockroach.
I heard that. You think it’s easy being a Nithya cockroach. A Holy Cockroach. Why I have to go in the garbage everyday looking for things to eat, and laying eggs and getting laid... and sitting on my golden thrones counting all my millions of dollars and taking inventory on the personal parts of my room service ladies and...
Just shut up. Click.
You may find out more information at Nithyananda-cult.blogspot.com. See you soon.
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