'Swami' Nithyananda and His Cult Give Us a Taste of His Jayanthi Celebrations to Ring in the New Year; The Blast Will Definitely Ring Alright.
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda, how are you doing? [blank and empty glare] Oh, yes, how selfish for us to ask you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. With this Inner Awakening program of all about 30 paying participants (and about 30 freeloaders to bloat the already puny stats) and getting ready for those big, grand Jayanthi (birthday) celebrations that are coming (or at least planned) for January 1, 2011, we're just slowing you down. Are you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, still the jet-set swami? The jet-set swami without his passport, perhaps. OK, keep on doing that hopping mediation and maybe, just maybe, someone will give you a pogo stick for your birthday, and then you'll be in classic form.
Well, Sri Nithyananda, we guess that you're not the only ones in a hurry. Yes, we've been a little lazy on this blog, but not lazy on making the right things happen. Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we would rather make the news than report it. But, don't worry, we'll give you the blow by blow with our verbal 2x4. So, relax! You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, won't miss a thing.
Here's a few headlines that we want to state:
- '
Swami' Nithyananda's request to dismiss the First Incident Report (FIR) (charges) was today, Monday, December 13, 2010. The High Court of Karnataka adorned the case again until Wednesday, Dec. 15, 2010. (How do you keep a moron in deep, deep, deep, suspense? We'll tell you on Wednesday, Sri Nithyananda.)
- Sex Swami Nithyananda, Sometimes-Swami Sri Nithya Sachitananda a.k.a. Siva Vallabhaneni, and Grumpy Bald Guy, Smarmy Nithya Bhaktananda, a.k.a. Mr. Gopal Sheelum Reddy are getting their formal invitation to the Policeman's Ball that will be this Thursday, December 16 at the Karnataka Courthouse. It is rumored that they will do a special hot-seat lap dance to reenact the crime scene in Las Vegas. OK, in all seriousness, the three criminals have been summoned by the Chief Judicial Magistrate to appear in court this Thursday, December 16. Should be a great photo op for their website.
- And, not to be left out of the party, Ma Sachitananda (Ragini) and Sri Sadhananda, a.k.a. DHANASHEKARAN Dhanashekaran (Ayya) absconded (ran away) from the ashram. They were officially summoned to appear at the court on Thursday along with the other three criminals, but were no where to be found. Arrest warrants have been issued.
- Nithyananda's filed a Special Petition with the India Supreme Court in Delhi to quash the charge sheet (indictment) against him. In response, one of our heroes from the CID Police Team, K.N. Yoggappa, said that police now has even more evidence against Nithyananda and his criminal cult. He anticipates at least two more Charge Sheets (indictments) to be filed against Nithyananda Swami very soon.
OK, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that's just today's news. This last week has been an avalanche of bad news for you and your cult. Just when we thought we heard it all, there's stories about your alcohol consumption (did you, 'Swami' Nithyananda did you have your magic mushrooms as hors d'oeuvres before or after your cocktail hour?)... and then there was your tight jeans and Eric Estrada look to go along with your ape drape hairdo (some call it a mullet). But, wait, no spandex? And then there was your lap dancing, your child beating (well, we know that one), an attempt to buy an island off of California. Say, isn't Alcatraz, the famous federal bureau penitentiary, also known as 'the Rock' just off the coast of California?
This was just a few hundred million dollars away from being 'Swami' Nithyananda's next ashram.
Was that the place you were eying to purchase, Sri Nithyananda? Why, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there was already a Birdman of Alcatraz.
You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, could super-size that reputation and be known as the 'Paramahamsa of Alcatraz'. Years, later, tourists will be willing to pay $20.00 each to see where a holy man like you lived in such blissful squalor. In fact, we would be willing to pay to see you there now. Along with Bhaktananda and Sachitananda and throw in that guy with the big, bloated, smelly feet and flowery mouth, Medhananda, and you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, would have the complete tour already to go.
Move over, Birdman, now there will be a Paramahamsa of Alcatraz moving in as soon as the big deal goes through.
OK, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, there's been a lot of stories flying around that just seem too wild to believe. We know that your professional rumor-spreading-mill has been working overtime to plant really dumb (and outright lies) like the Canadian dying during your latest tour in September 2010 (but, one Canadian really did die under very hush-hush and creepy circumstances in December 2008). Then there's that story about how someone was washed away in the Gangga River during the Himalaya Tour of 2005. We asked several people who were on that tour, and not one, claimed that anyone went missing. So, another red herring to discredit our blog and draw the attention of the death we really think was a murder, along with everything else. So, all these wild stories, which ones are true?
Well, Sri Nithyananda, maybe we can have a game like Spin the Bottle or Truth or Consequences. How should we have this game, 'Swami' Nithyananda? What luck! Sometime-swami Sri Sachitananda and Dr. Keneviel (that's a weasel crossed with Dr. Evil that likes to do lots of stunts and dares). Still lost, 'Swami' Nithyananda?... why that's Bhaktananda. The bald head should have given it away. Where were they, oh, look, those two out-on-bail swamis have volunteered to do do a Narco Test or swallow some Truth Serum as long as our hero, Lenin Karuppan, a.k.a. Dharmananda, or as we like to say, Hanuman 3.0, plays along too. Fine. He's says he's on. Now, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you must make good on the promise of your loudmouth swamis and hold the event.
Truth. A concept never really tried before in the Cult of Nithyananda (C.O.N.)
Hey, we have an idea, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Since you and your loudmouths, at least two of them, will be at the courthouse this Thursday, why don't we have the contest right there? There will be plenty of judges, lawyers, and police to make sure that everything is fair, and that per body ratio, everyone gets the right dose of 'Truth Serum'. Yes, we noticed sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda packing the pounds, so we don't want him drinking Sri Dharmananda under the table. He might just see all that money of yours (or at least it was yours) passing hands. So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you have a vested interest to make sure this goes fair and square too. Are you on? Oh, come one, 'Swami' Nithyananda, don't chicken out. Actually, Sri Dharamanda is at a disadvantage. The reason we say that, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, is that sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda and Evil Knievel (Bhaktananda) are career criminals. They made all their loot even before meeting up with you, Master of Criminals, by lying and shoving other honest folks to the floor. Just ask Bhaktananda about the story on how he would 'befriend' his clients at Oracle, and rob them blind. (Thanks, Mukku, for that one.) OK, we'll tell that story later. And sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda in a chemical company... didn't even need to fit people with concrete shoes, just douse with the right mix of stuff, and they would evaporate. OK, we don't know if he really did that or not, probably not, but we can see by his behavior that he would stop at nothing to mow over a rival to get what we wants. That, we're assured of. Our point, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda these guys have a whole career of lying. Even under doses of Truth Serum there's a good chance that the same stuff will come out. But, since there's two of them there, maybe different blends of the same stuff will come out, and then it will be fun to compare the two 'samples' and see what's different. But, with Sri Dharmananda there, truth serum or no truth serum, the same stuff comes out. Look, 'Swami' Nithyananda, it really doesn't take rocket science to tell that you run a criminal operation. Just one look at your crocodile smile and babies instinctively know to cry. (Those of course are the ones that you didn't father, so, about sixty percent of the babies that come in your presence will cry.) These children know what a boogie man is before they even heard the word. So, now the secret is out why you send all the little ones away during your lectures. They will all start to cry and be afraid they'll be possessed, snatched, or even eaten. But, Sri Nithyananda, you wait about 16 years before you do any of those things, correct?
So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, since you're too big of a holy man to take a test like this, can we work together to make up some of the questions? (Hint, hint: loyal readers, help send in your questions to make sure we get our money out of that Truth Serum.) Here's a few questions we would like to ask:
- Rounding up to the nearest 100, how many room service ladies got a similiar darshan like Ranjitha received?
- How many room service ladies are under age 18? (Looking like she was almost 18 doesn't count.)
- How many room service ladies have adult children?.. and how many of them were married?
- How many room service ladies are over the age fifty?
- How many room service ladies are really men / or boys? (Gnanananda doesn't count.)
- Why did it take over one week to get a simple death certificate for the Canadian who died of an accident (as you said, '
Paramahamsa' Nithyananda), but officially died of a heart attack like it was stated on the death certificate?
- How can a modern 'Paramahamsa' have $7.1 Million U.S.D. in his bank account, have all the property in his name, and still be an unattached 'Paramahamsa'?
- In what ways, do you, '
Paramahamsa' Nithyananda considered to be greater than any Paramahamsa from the past?
- Why haven't you been able to heal the big, swollen, stinky feet of Swami Sri Medhananda, but still initiate healers if they plunk down enough cash and swear the right allegiance?
- If you, '
Swami' Nithyananda, received so many Truths from your 53 days in jail, why do you seem so afraid of going back and getting more Truths? Why are you afraid to send your followers, Sri Nithyananda, from this golden opportunity?
- What's the real reason for having all those 24K gold thrones?
- How much persuasion did it take to get the Seattle priest, Mr. Subrahmanya Prasad Malladi, a.k.a. Sri Nithya Sevak, a.k.a. Charana, and his human parasite of a house-guest (pest) Ma Medhananda Mayi, a.k.a. Ms. Kavita Gaddam, to turn his daughter into a deceiving, conniving, and slippery sex criminal just like her live-in role model?
- What line works the best on ladies: A. "I'm your Lord Krishna." B. "I waited my whole life to elevate your being." or C. "Hey, baby, want to get enlightened?"
- What's the best technique of separating cash from your followers' hands?
- If you, '
Paramahamsa' Nithyananda are god, why is it so hard to stop some of those pesky blogs?
- More to come from our readers... (send them in today!)
But, wait, Sri Nithyananda, now that your loudmouth swamis committed to this, you really need to go through with it, or no one will believe them again. This promise from sometimes Swami Sachitananda and Sri Evil Knievel (Bhaktananda) wasn't some ploy like sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda used during the first press meet in March 2010 when you were vacationing in the Himalayas? Remember, 'Swami' Nithyananda, he said that the Nithyananda Foundation and Dhyanapeetam and all the other businesses you are listed under are all 'transparent' organizations! Squeaky clean. Nothing to hide. Pure as snow. Transparent as a ghost. Well, maybe not that one, but all the other ones Sachitananda claimed. Right there in front of the reporters. And, then sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda proudly and boldly and arrogantly (we'll he does that all the time) announced that on your website, (the one that was down for a few days and now has a bunch of broken links) that the death certificate and medical papers of the Canadian who died under mysterious conditions two year ago will be posted publicly and available for all to see and scrutinize. Remember that? Well, the word 'scrutinize' just needed to be shortened, just a bit. That death certificate never went up. But, the YouTube video of the press conference was taken down. A first, for the Life Bliss Foundation. So, much for that transparency. So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, you better make good on your goons' word this time. Or, we might begin to think that all your claims of being able to give instant enlightenment just might be some high apple pie in the sky, served with some cherry flavored Kool-Aid of course. We're still waiting...
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.
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1) Nithy, you mean, those smiles were not really bliss smiles? Those smiles were from the thoughts of you bedding Ranjitha in the night?
ReplyDelete2) Nithy, you mean, those smiles were not really bliss smiles? Those smiles were from the thoughts of you having made crores of ruppees by swindling the hard earned money of the innocent folks.
3) YSP, NSP, now I hear that you are starting RSP(Room Service Programs). And that Ranjitha is the senior most Acahrya and instructor?
4) Is it true that you are offering a room service for a few nights for the person who harrasses people filing complaints against you? And that Anjula Jackson is the front runner as of now?
5) Have you decided if you are a man or woman or neither? Why don't you declare yourself as a new species so that scientists can examine you closely?
6) I read that you need oral sex to come down from Samadhi. Does this explain the white lipstick on Bhakta's lips after the two of you get down from the vehicles before conducting programs?
7) What is that red spot on the behind of Bhakta's dhoti? Did you do something there to get down from extreme Samadhi?
The time has come for all of us to show the collective support as a community and quash this Nithyananda organization. They have been playing around for too long, and now have started harassing anyone who could be a potential witness.
ReplyDeleteMy suspicion is even for this chap Vimalananda, that is the case. I can't believe the accusations against him, and worse if you just look at the timeline of events, it is clear he has been accused now to prevent him from getting to India to be a witness in the case.
We have complained enough, griped enough, slammed Nithyananda enough on the blog. Now it is time to act, really act not just with words on a blog but real action. Act for the sake of dharma. Act for the love of god and to uphold truth. If we don't act and support people like Dharmanada, Vimalananda and any witness who is willing to come forward, this rapist, murderer, swindling organization will get away with it.
I don't want to leave this body till I see justice being served in this. If there is a God (which I believe in), let him act through each one of us and show that dharma indeed is alive and well in this Universe.
So "be a man" (or woman) as they say. Be brave and testify and let us bring justice on this earth.
Peace and love and may dharma prevail.
Nithya did not feel bad at all about the exposed video bedding Ranjitha. The word 'bedding' is objectionable here for many. At the same time Nithya didn't feel sad at his disciple hijacking into his room with a ghostly camera. He really felt bad about Lenin not understanding the Hindu dharma and trying to figure out how the spiritual initiation procedure of Ranjitha was going on. Ranjitha was receiving her spiritual initiation when Nithya was in a mode of trance. As all saw he was found passing the mantra and the meditation techniques from his parashmani along with the mercury sample for which Ranjitha had to work 18 mins or so. It was all enlightenment, we were also enlightened to know the meaning of enlightenment in Bidadi, some were off course upset and they are specifically those who bounced back on Lenin at his press conference few days back for not receiving the enlightenment. Lenin breached into the scene of this holy transformation of mercury which none should see and that's Nithya's sole reason of grief. He is since then willing to forgive Lenin for this violation of Hindu shastra so that he may still initiate 24/7 all around the world, and at the same time pay 20 crore or more dakshina to Ranjitha for the spiritual enlightenment and not revealing her savior mantra. As it sounds like, Nithya after being exposed about the spiritual enlightenment is not allowed to meet with other of his gopinis so frequently and that is his second reason of sorrow. Thus right now Satchit and Bhakta who were also enlightened in a more quantum form of what we saw is placing a bunch of food before Nithya's statue, with few Delux Nirodh, pills, few vibrators, intoxicating drinks and a pic of Ranjitha, other service ladies and chanting in Bhojpuri-
ReplyDeleteNirodh chad(r)e pills chad(r)e aur chad(r)e Darwa (daru)
laundiya ka bhog chad(r)e Nithya kare seva ||
This off course is virtual sambhog but they are okay with it.
Ayyia has gone in the underground with his ars bleeding to pull out the pole stuck up his ars; he is chanting the same through video conference. Meaning the CID seems to have few more clues; Nithya after all is the guy that keeps on giving to all. So they will charge sheet again in Ramnagar court. Although there is always a rule in the Indian constitution to challenge such a complain draging it all the way to the Supreme court, Nithya has forgotten that the people around are going to charge 5h!t, literally soon for which Supreme court has nothing to offer.
Anon December 13, 2010 10:17 PM is saying the right thing. Lenin can't alone clean this mess. Lets roll our sleeves and do the needful.
ReplyDeleteJust for making an argument. Vimalananda might or might not be a criminal; but that doesn't rule him out from filing a complain. The CID can still move into talking to Vimal for knowing his side of the story. There must be lawyers in here who are watching this, why don't they suggest the right thing to do. Saving the Hindu dharm is also doing dharm, its not adharm.
Nithy,
ReplyDeleteWhen will you understand…. Sorry you do not have brains.. but certainly have Muladhara chakra.. because you have not risen from there… although you copycat…. Preach all rubbish with concocted text taken from all over the web…. But understand this basic law of nature….
“Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.”
So, you are holed up in Bidadi ashram, because your enlightened understanding of Freedom is the right to do the wrong – not once, several times… repeatedly… from not accepting the sleaze video tapes and shutting Ranjitha’s mouth, having 2 different birthdates – one of 13 March 1977(Mula nakshatra) as in passport and the other of 1 Jan 1978 (Uttara Phalguni Nakshatra) – inspite claiming born in Chitra nakshatra... varre vah… the ashramites are monkeys swooning to this bitter truth.. ( Read interesting info from http://astronlogia.com/2010/03/06/the-fall-of-nithyananda-saturns-fury/ “ Right now Saturn is near Sun and it’s in Sun star Utthram, Nithy’s birth star and moon sign is virgo, hence his 8 year old legacy has changed by one single video !! ) down to the Vimalananda case… where you have gone overboard to cling to your rope hanging from the CID’s ceiling fan… and tomorrow you will be hanged for these charges of adharma and will be taking with you your favorite Sangha co-stars – Bhakta, Sachit, Prana, Aiyya and Ma Jamuna…. All the bidadi holocaust stars will be paraded naked…. For sure this time by the public and court.
All you need to do is beg Ranjitha to forgive you and get married to her….. to get over Saturn’s influence on you… cool your heels in jail…. And do pancha tapas there… till you come rejuvenated and lead a fresh, happy life… unless you do not repeat any more harm to any of your old/new ashramites in future forever.
A word of caution:
ReplyDeleteHindu shastra consists of four parts. Mantra yoga, Laya yoga, Kriya yoga and Raj yoga. All the huge religious walmarts that exist across the globe tries to sale Laya yoga stuff onwards. This includes the Hatha yoga embedded within the last three yogas and the so called meditation techniques. The reason is most folks selling these three do no come from authentic source. Because they are not authentic its easier for them to sale the other yogas, as selling Mantra yoga requires much more technical sense and is the one where things cannot be deceived so easily. However, it is widely acknowledged amongst scholars of all schools that Mantra yoga is the safest of all and must be practiced before going to Laya yoga. If you are trying to learn Hatha and Raj yoga and the other stuff from any cats and dogs you might fall sick, and be screwed up in life. You won't even know the reason of falling sick. Do not practice Pranayam without knowing details of it from the right guru. It is written all around Tantra that one who does not know or has not learned to hold his breadth in the right fashion tears the so called maha-mala inside, for which there is aayu-kshya. Kundalini jagaran is not easy stuff, so don't have an enigma. If your Kundalini has gone up at least once you know what is means, and, you will no longer need to open a shop. Its a real experience. There are many Babas around with long hair, tilak and what pretending they are experts on Kundalini. Keep a safe distance from them. Gigantic books would not have been written if it was so easy to get there. Be aware of diluted stuff. Laya, Kriya and Raj yoga are extremely difficult yogas - don't go to one who is a good speaker about it, go to one who is siddha-hasta about it.
Hey cult memebers of Nithy, wake up atleast now and realise what your are doing. No Guru can change your destiny or burn your KARMA; even a true Guru can only show the path. Ultimately YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. So give up eyeing and chasing ex-devotees and ex-disciples. By this you are only creating AGAMYA KARMA for yourself. The only thing that can lead you to self-realization or your favourite term "ENLIGHTENMENT" IS COMPASSION which is not there in the dictionary of DHYANAPEETAM for everything seems to be only conditional. Wake up guys ! its high time , LIVE WITH LOVE and COMPASSION and LET LIVE...
ReplyDeleteNo rituals are going to save you, no techniques are going to save you, its only love and respect for HUMANITY that will protect you always.
Each close member to Nithy in the cult has the greed for power and recognition; comeon then what is the difference between the so called spiritual world of yours and todays corporate world ! Don't accumulate more KARMA for yourself and your family with your blindness and arrogance. Accept the reality and now face the reality with all that you have or claim to have read in the holy books. Enough ! spare Humanity atleast now for THE society does not want your "ENLIGHTENMENT " , IT needs PUREST OF THE PURE LOVE ENERGY and nothing else
Dear all,
ReplyDeleteHear from the horse’s mouth from https://sites.google.com/site/nithyanandafamily/home/news, how Dhonpith is going to serve LSD (Law School degree) holders and use them to do all the dirty work which their current lawyers are not able to do now or quite expensive using them….. so that Nithy and the ashramites have the freedom to do all the wrongs, but still get away with it using this Shastra/Astra combinations… what an idea Sex swamiji !!
No wonder After IPL, ‘sex’ swami is the most Googled…. @ http://www.bangaloremirror.com/article/10/20101214201012140053271984f485b7/After-IPL-%E2%80%98sex%E2%80%99-swami-is-the-most-Googled.html?pageno=1 !!
Nithy is a big Osho copycat… so with this new sangha addition… he’s emulating the 800 street-smart lawyers employed by Osho… who did try to defend against US federal govt’s false lawsuits … but what’s happening here is different… Nithy’s team is filing case after case against all and sundry who are against them and also seeking anticipatory bails… no anticipatory lawyers too… from the Dhonpith stable …. A stupid and foolish way of losing all the golden thrones… harem style ananda gandha… flying and online NSP’s , YSP’s… coming to a grinding halt shortly tomorrow.., with few previews of lap dances in the court and final one in the jail !!
Did all the gopis of Nithya who bounced back on Lenin were there in the court in the sirshasan pose to listen to the hearing. Do they want us to give them the population count of India? If so we can... the male to female ratio in India is still more than one, so they must be educated that they can get better enlightenment which is socially acceptable just by listening to their parents to make a better life, if not ask/date any random guy for an enlightenment without carrying a bag of sin in their shoulders of having orgasm in a saffron robe for many more lives to come. Or they can argue with the judge that sleeping with holy men is good for Indian population control as a result of which Nithya and all his donkey chelas be waived from a trail. Sri Nithya Satchiananda is today extremely busy in filling up his aRs with the grade one quality of mustard oil. This is because his bogus statements have made the CID more suspicious and tomorrow they will slide a goal post back his aRs. Since Satchit wants to - take it easy - as they slide it along he is busy doing the oiling stuff. Aiyya is memorizing the statements he will say in a total order so as to cover up the case. Nevertheless, he's a old guy and unable to do it the way Nithya, Satchit and Bhakta wants. Although he will be arrested and have a nice honeymoon in the jail with a subsequent bail, Nithya Satchit and Bhakta have threatened him - if the situation goes worse after his bail, meaning if he has confessed the truth all the three will slide their legs up his aRs. So its all about aRs and sliding.
ReplyDelete[Note from editor: commenter, your content is great, your humor is colorful, but your language needs a little attention. To ensure that your future comments are posted, please make your points in a way that will not polarize and turn off the very same people that we need to convince. Thanks for noting this.]
Wasn't it that Bhakta in a recent press conference said that they would come out clear from the High court, the FIR and the complains would be quashed. Was he in mind during that time or over intoxicated. Of all the crooks we believe Bhakta is the stupidest, he is an absolute garbage, he is still having day dream. He has become the Jaggu (Bob Christo) of the Bollywood movies, and will take all the punches like him in due time. He is a first class idiot, still making statements without his lawyer in public. Off course we understand that he was replacing the role of Ranjitha during the agyata-vana-vash of Nithya in Himachal and may be two months of intense day-night enlightenment have made him crazy. He needs to beat his head with the hammer of a tabla to boot his system in the safe mode, else it will soon give bios error.
ReplyDeleteBTW, in response to Anon December 14, 2010 2:42 AM, the Nithya-Ranjitha video should be listened very carefully several times. Then you guys will be certain that the savior code of Ranjitha was - Oh God, Oh Oh My Godd, aai aai gooo. This is the Nithyananda purna cryptic thing for enlightenment. Its no longer secret. This is the right way to pray in Bidadi.