Fraud-God, Nithyananda, Busted with over $7.1 Million U.S.D. in Cash in Bank Account

Nithyananda's Personal Bank Account Has Over Rs 32 Crore ($7.1 Million U.S.D.)
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. How are feeling? Well, we could have guessed you would say something like that. But the good news is that the hospital has given you a clean bill of health. Nothing wrong with you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, at least with your physical health. Here's a picture of you, 'Swami' Nithyananda:

source: Times of India, ePaper edition

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, it's hard to imagine you, a real bona fide healing master being handicapped in a wheelchair. Mentally handicapped, well, we already knew that. Look on the bright side, 'Swami' Nithyananda. You will get more sympathy from your brainwashed flock. Perhaps now, Sri Nithyananda, you can say that it is not just the CID (police) team that's pushing you around. If there were a steep hill and lots of speeding traffic, we wouldn't mind taking a shot at it too. Heave-hoe.

Sri Nithyananda, we're a bit embarrassed to ask this, but when you were in the hospital, did you, get checked for any of those diseases? You know, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, those love diseases that you might have picked up from any of the hundreds of room service ladies you were blessing and healing? 'Swami' Nithyananda, we would hate to know you as the "HIV Positive Thinker and Healing Master, with Herpes Cold Sores". It just wouldn't help your image at this important point in your career. But don't worry, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, if you do get a case of one of these nasty love diseases, all you need to say is that you took on that disease to help heal society. It's a true-and-tried course for you, 'Swami' Nithyananda. Your generosity is just amazing.

So, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that's a lot of medical expenses you've racked up. How are you going to pay for all that? We remembered all those stories about how you said that you had nothing in your bank account, and all you needed to live on per day (in your post-'enlightenment' years) was about $1.50 for food, soap (thank goodness), and your razor... and occasional some new saffron cloth, which the CID team confiscated over 120 outfits. So, with true sanyasi (renunciant monk) credential like that, we imagine that getting a big hospital bill will wreck havoc on your $1.50 a day budget.

So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are there any extra funds that will help cover these unexpected expenses? Oh!?! There are some savings? We never heard of a heard of a true paramahamsa, king of sanyasis (renunciants) having a savings account. Why, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you sure break the mold. And, what would a savings account of someone of your statue look like? Oh, here's one now:

Ha! Ha! Ha!, Sri Nithyananda. That's a piggy bank! For our overseas readers, traditional American children from a forgone era would collect coins in such piggy banks. When the pig was full, the children would smash it open with a hammer and collect all of the savings. But, most kids, being careful, would usually just use a knife and work the money out that way.

So, 'Swami' Nithyananda, how much money do you have in your piggy bank? It couldn't be very much. A couple hundred dollars, maybe? What's this here! Our friend (not your friend, Sri Nithyananda), Chandan Nandi from the Deccan Herald scooped you again, he's uncovered your personal savings account along with the Indian Income Tax Department (I-T Dept.), and looks like there is a whopping Rs 32 Crore! Wow, how much is that in U.S. Dollars? Let's see:

1 crore = 10,000,000

Rs 1 INR = $0.022399 U.S.D. /
$1 U.S.D = Rs 44.6448 INR

That comes to over $ 7.1 Meeeeeeeellion Dollars!!!

Boy, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, no wonder the room service ladies like you so much. You, 'Swami' Nithyananda, didn't even need to go to the gym to get ripped to attract those ladies.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, having all the cash in hand is mighty helpful in these difficult times, especially when all your rich donors have pulled the plug on their generosity in trusting a sex-crazed sanyasi (renunciant) lead them to a better life. We think that your former donors would get more benefit by out going out and putting their money on horse races. At least then they can trace the source of all that B.S.

So, let us get it straight. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda have over 7.1 million dollars in your personal Indian account, is this correct? Is this 7.1 million dollars part of the larger Foundation such as the Nithyananda Foundation, the Life Bliss Foundation, the Dhyanapeetam Charitable Trust (DPCT), the Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam Trust (NDT), or any other of your shell, we mean to say, charitable organization? It seems that the DPCT filed a tax return of close to Rs 5 crore in the 2009-10 fiscal year and the NDT's return was a mere Rs 8.5 crore. OK, Sri Nithyananda, we have to get our calculators out again. Wow, that's over Three Meeeeelion dollars just in 'profit' from your so-called charities. Looks like that alone was enough to trigger a trigger-happy audit from the Directorate of Income Tax. Boy, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you better tell your remaining donors to hurry up and donate before your tax-exempt status is removed. They probably have until tomorrow. Anyway, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, have more than twice that amount just in your own, personal savings account, that is in India.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, how many savings accounts do you have in other countries that you have visited, including but not limited to the SWITZERLAND [hint, hint] United States, Brazil, Canada, Malaysia, Singapore, French Guadeloupe, Cambodia, etc., and all the other countries you have a presence in including: New Zealand, United Kingdom, Taiwan, Mexico, France, Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, Australia, Trinidad & Tobago, etc.? Say, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, don't some of those countries have a reputation for harboring and transferring money with little questions asked? And, didn't you have your right-hand henchmen, Bhaktananda scour the Caribbean to 'look for out-of-shore Indian nationals who were parked overseas that needed to be saved and go to heaven? Close, there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. Sounds, like you were looking for safe offshore havens to park your 'donations' from Indian national authorities. In Nithyanandam, we definitely save.

Wow, Sri Nithyananda, having all this money does create a bit of a problem. The authorities are definitely going to ask questions like what means did you get all of this money? Where did you get all this money? How did all this money get transferred? Why was this money not reported to the tax authorities and exchange authorities? etc., etc. And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, this opens the door open and lets the breeze in for all kinds of other government agencies to ask the same questions and expect the honest answers (still pending) about all of your money-making activities. Everywhere you've been or your influence has been, there will be some senior government authorities keeping a file on you and asking your devotees some serious questions. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you bragged up until this day about being in 30 countries. Well, we hate to burst your bubble, but there's a downside to being part of an international crime syndicate. Not only you will be facing long prison sentences in multiple countries, but all of your cronies that helped engineer all of this financial fraud will be looking at serious jail time too, that is, unless they cooperate and become informants or approvers. Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that's one thing we certainly will approve if your followers and your criminal organizations decide to act on.

One thing for sure, there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, it's HAMMER TIME for this pork-laden piggy bank and international crime syndicate of yours!

So, how did you make all of that money? Let's see now. You, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, would charge several hundred dollars per day for your workshops, and then let your city coordinators pick up the tab for any expenses, allow gullible devotees in the U.S. wash your feet for two thousand dollars a session, do home visits in the U.S. for five thousand dollars a pop, and demand payment in only cashier checks or cash. Very convenient and not traceable. Then you will convince these cash-in-hand folks to be completely brainwashed in your Indian ashram for weeks at time for a poultry six to nine thousand dollars per workshop, which were payable in cash, at your ashram. Very convenient. Once the brainwashing techniques of your new devotees were fully in effect and while these mesmerized followers were still captive at your ashram, then presto, a commitment for ten percent of their gross income was already transferred into your account. What a money making machine.

But, wait, there's more. For those really wealthy people who had something that you wanted, land, temples, lot of money, good-looking-daughters, etc., you would give them extra attention (yeah, we know what type of attention you gave some of those folks) and some promise of health, wealth, or easy enlightenment. Presto. What they had and you wanted was now yours. A very simple business model.

But wait, there's more. By franchising so-called 'Vedic' temples that worshiped idols in your image and that recited corrupted mantras with your name in them, you could make a killing. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, do you recall in 2007 how you bragged to all of your ashramites on how you would bargain with the statue makers for all of the statues to be made at cost (or sometimes below costs)?... and how some of the carvers ran away after being forced into orders from you? And, then how you could then 'sell' these statues back to the newly planned temples knowing full well that your devotees' devout sentiments towards the deities would certainly mean that there would be someone willing to fork over large amounts of money just to be sponsor of their favorite deity? Yes, just like selling those Shiva Lingams that you never delivered or installed. All you needed, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, was to have someone make a new invoice with an inflated price for the statues you practically stole from the statue makers.  And, there you go. Instant profit that the government would never detect. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, did you get your rowdy swamis to go down to the statue makers to help convince them that if they didn't chisel the granite statues in your orders that they would be chiseling concrete shoes in the bottom of the river? Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that sees to be the way your army of thugs, ooops, we mean to say swamis operated. Anyway, those statues were just pure profit.

Sri Nithyananda, do you remember telling your ashramites that not to worry or feel bad for these carvers that had to work long hours for practically nothing? Yes, we remember that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, said that they were all blessed doing 'divine' work and that it would help them and their families for jenmas (lifetimes) beyond. We were so touched by your generous sentiments.

And why you have a good thing going, 'Swami' Nithyananda, your Sacred Arts business had the same business model. Buy cheap by forcing the sellers to sell at cost or below. Produce phony invoices. Then sell high and say that your energy is in each one item. Wow, three steps in cheating everyone each step of the way. Perfect. That will make the money pile higher than your sins.

But, let's now stop there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, what about your investors' club? What not better thing than to have a 'divine' soul like you bless the stock and security exchanges and transfer funds in and out of different countries like a cheap magic trick of shuffling peas inside walnut shells. Why we bet you, 'Swami' Nithyananda were able to get lots of people to 'invest' in their lifesavings and slave for your empire at the same time. No wonder there are normally would be levelheaded people like sometime-Swami 'Stonewall' Sachitananda and Sri Nithya Niranjananda, a.k.a. coo-coo Mukku, who are still waiving pom-poms and being your cheerleader in spite of the overwhelming evidence that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, really aren't the holy man you once claimed to be.

Back to the picture of you in the hospital above, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are you sure you were not seated on a 'wheeling and dealing' chair? For someone who once claimed to take a vow of never touching money, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, sure did make up for lost time.

Hey, Sri Nithyananda, we thought of another problem that having all this money exposed might bring. Perhaps all of those politicians and judges that you had sometime-Swami 'Stonewall' Sachitananda visit with big, fat envelopes now know what you are really worth. Don't you think that they will now feel a bit cheated when they realize that they could have asked for a whole lot more, but only settled on peanuts and a promise to be invited to sit in the front row at your first big darshan after this whole silly thing blows over? Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we think that these folks might get really upset and when they weigh in the uproar from  the public sentiment and realize that their own elections now will be jeopardized. Who knows? They just might let the CID Team keep you in remand for another two days, Biblical days, that is. Yes, 'Swami' Nithyananda, that just might be the new interpretation of what a two-day extension in custody might be after weighing in all those missed opportunities. But don't worry, Sri Nithyananda, all of your funds have been frozen, so there is no way that they can get access to them now.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we would like to show you a picture of someone we think you might know. Here he is:

Good guess, 'Swami' Nithyananda. But, sorry, it is not your criminal, criminal lawyer, HS Chandramouli. Although we must admit, there is a resemblance. Actually HS Chandramouli is well qualified and has the integrity to be around the likes of people like you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. By the way, did HS Chandramouli help draft that ten-page tantric sex contract? Just asking. And, Sri Nithyananda, did you give him an advance payment? He might be a bit concerned to still represent you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, if you indeed have been cut off from your cash supply. Is he in it as a service to the divine?

Anyway, 'Swami' Nithyananda, this is a picture of Al Capone, the famous gangster in America during the 1920's and early 1930's. He also had a lot of businesses, ran an international syndicate, patronized room service ladies, gave politicians and judges thick envelopes, and even tricked many people to think that he was an outstanding member of society. Unlike you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, he was very careful. In fact, the U.S. law enforcement couldn't arrest him even though it know that he was guilty of just about everything. However, the good old Internal Revenue Service (IRS), the equivalent of Department of Revenue managed by Indian Revenue Service (IRS), nailed him. Al Capone was then sentenced for eleven years for tax-evasion, but the authorities let him out early because he became mental derelict from an advanced case of syphilis. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, you did get everything checked at the hospital, and how's that samadhi (trance) persona coming along? It might be your only chance, at this rate.

Finally, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we're glad you've stayed in touch (figuratively speaking) with Ranjitha. Wow, 174 calls while you were hiding minus that time you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and your holy entourage were at Kumbh Mela. Wow long were you there in Kumbh Mela? You told us that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, were there for over two weeks while you consulted with other holy like-minded souls.  But actually, it looks like you were there for two days max. OK, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we figure that you went missing for about 50 days. That means you called Ranjitha at least three times, every day without fail. Wow, that's quite some dedication for someone who is not attached to anything in this world. 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, with all those phone calls that you blessed Ranjitha with, did that make her your 'call girl'? Won't she be proud of that title.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, during all those talks, did you ask Ranjitha to marry you? On paper, Sri Nithyananda, you're quite a catch. You're young, at least in your passport, good looking, god-like status, well traveled, lots of money, etc. Why any lady would be crazy to give up a chance to marry you. But on second thought, Ranjitha probably did become 'enlightened' from all of your energy darshans (blessings). She could probably tell that you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda told hundred's of ladies that you "loved them most of all". Well, there's a problem with that, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, that only works once. Also, 'Swami' Nithyananda, there would have been one small obstacle in marrying Ranjitha. The fact is that she was already married. That does create a problem. But, probably, at the end of the day, Ranjitha being around Bollywood and the film industry, could recognize a genuine drama queen and probably figured that marrying someone who will be in jail for the rest of his life would probably not have a 'and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after' ending. Yes, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, true happiness is not a union with you.

We would like to thank Chandan Nandy of the Deccan Herald for investigating, reporting, and then writing this excellent scoop. Please read the article and support the Deccan Herald:

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/66584/godmans-account-has-rs-32.html


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